Uncle Anon
Uncle Anon and his [[loli victim]] Uncle Anon was a 29 year old Anon with a 9 year old niece. He told his story and posted on /b/ with under the handle Uncle Anon!!zTT8yF+bBLo every wednesday at 10:00pm 4chan time (EST).
Uncle Anon has been B& from /b/. This banning is just one of many clues that moot is a raging, fucktarded faggot, and another inoperable tumor sprouted due to metastatic cancer. While it's now perfectly fine for overexcited 12 year old newfags to dance around like /b/ is their little private club, and it's perfectly fine to post delicious wincest stories filled with raep, it's a bannable offense to post about how you spend harmless, quality time with your niece. It seems /b/ is all but lost to the cesspool of reposts, forced memes and "wierd" high school anime fans.
Okay, fair enough. Well, she's got long brown hair which goes about 1/4 of the way down her back. She has hazel/green eyes like her mom, and the angular, eastern-european facial structure of her dad. She has a few freckles, mostly on her shoulders. Naturally, she has a delicious flat chest and no hips to speak of. She's also tiny - her head only comes up to my chest (an inch or so from my neck) and she weighs practically nothing, so I can carry her for a long time and not get tired.
The story of Uncle Anon | |||||||||||||||
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 |
- By a condom I mean a box of 20 condoms, of course.
OMG! IT R UNCLE ANON!!!1! On the 11th July 2009 at 10:20PM a thread appeared on /b/ posted under the name of Uncle Anon !!zTT8yF+bBLo. He stated a possible return. Is this really Uncle Anon? Or a 13 year old virgin who has nothing better to do than trying over 9000 tripcodes? You decide.
NO WAI ITS SRSLY HIM The next day at 8:34 PM, Uncle Anon returned as promised and gave a brief update on the events of the past year as well as answering some questions.
Text-based version of the image to the left for those who don't enjoy squinting at computers for extended periods of time:
"UNCLE ANON It's me. Yesterday I promised an update, and here we go.
Where to begin? Hmm. Well, I think I'll start by updating some of that info at the top of ED. You're now dealing with a 30 year old uncle, an 11 year old niece, and the ubiquious 20 boners. I haven't had the continuous contact with my niece that I enjoyed a year ago, but since her birthday last week, I've been thinking that I could try to take a role in her life again (READ: I want to spend time with my niece, not I want my boner in my niece; the latter is 90%* untrue). [That's] Further, I have moar oppritunity to pursue this course of action (as potentially irresponsible and ignorant as it may be), since I've been enjoying the bachelor living for a little more than the past two months.
Don't think, dear anon, that due to my recently single status I am just a dirty old perv who is seeking a new source of cooch* after his previous one tried up. [I'm] I am a dirty old perv who now has the chance to atone for stomping on my lovely niece's fragile loli heart a year ago. I don't deserve anything from her, quite frankly, and to be honest I wouldn't have even thought to try to start this up again had she not brought it up herself at the party. That's for later, though.
ANONYMOUS w
UNCLE ANON A word of caution: Don't expect the massive updates of yesteryear - I just don't have the time these days to write 'em. I also don't have quite the same amount of time to answer replies and such, but we'll see how that goes. Further, I'd ask you to please remember that most of the stuff I wrote in the past was for me first, and you guys second. I wanted to get a grip on what was happening in my life, and I tried to do so through words. It's paid off. I can go back and look at where I was around this time last year and lol, I was CRAWLING IN MY SKIN, and that really explains a lot of my bad decisions. Lastly, I'm hiding behind over 9000 proxies right now. I don't know if moot's still out for blood, but I'm not taking any chances. If I suddenly stop talking or I miss and update, it's because the proxy failed and I couldn't get another one up in time, not that Candlejack has grabbed me by th
ANONYMOUS Wait, are you really uncle anon?
What the fuck? Seriously?! I thought you were just a legend*. [No,]
UNCLE ANON
AAADWW! You didn't really think I'd end it like that, did you?
Anyway, I suppose I should start writing a history of events leading up to now. Eh, maybe later. In the meantime, here's an update on her appearence as of last week's birthday party, since ED's top post is now slightly out of date.
She got her hair cut a little shorter than she used to have it a while back - it's only just past her shoulders now - and she's taken to wearing it in a pony tail. She's started to sprout a bit, and I'd say she's grown about two inches since last year. Natrually, she's a s cute as she's ever beem, and, while I haven't had direct visual confirmation, it would seem she's developed two small, raised bumps on her chest. Thankfully, she's easily avoiding her mom's "healthy" hips, thighs, and [no] through, among other things, gymnastics and trampoline use; this is awesome.
I'll field your burning questions now, and write about important stuff later.
ANONYMOUS
UNCLE ANON IVE READ ABOUT YOU ON ED HI LOL
ANONYMOUS
Shut up you fucking retard. COPYPASTA"
This dude popped 20 boners for teh return of Uncle Anon (and juicy loli pussy)
Category:Chans Category:Internets Phenomena Category:PeopleCategory:Copypasta