Destroy a car
by The Jolly Roger
There are 1001 ways to destroy a car but I am going to cover only the ones that are the most fun (for you), the most destructive (for them), and the hardest to trace (for the cops).
- Place thermite on the hood, light it, and watch it burn all the way through the pavement!
- Tape a CO2 bomb to the hood, axel, gas tank, wheel, muffler, etc.)
- Put a tampon, dirt, sugar (this one is good!), a ping pong ball, or just about anything that will dissolve in the gas tank. Plastic deforms and dilutes into gas. The final result is much harder to inject into the engine, possibly causing valve replacement.
- Put potatoes, rocks, banannas, or anything that will fit, into the tailpipe. Use a broom handle to stuff 'em up into the tailpipe.
- Put a long rag into the gas tank and light it...
- Steal a key, copy it, replace it, and then steal the stereo.
- Break into the car. Cut a thin metal ruler into a shape like this: ÚÄÄ¿ (Revised ill. 4.14) ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ³ ÚÙ ³ À¿ ÀÄÄÙ
Slide it into the outside window and keep pulling it back up until you catch the lock cable which should unlock the door. This device is also called a SLIM JIM. Now get the stereo, equalizer, radar detector, etc. Now destroy the inside. (A sharp knife does wonders on the seats!)
- Sweet-Oil - In this one you open there hood and pour some honey in their oil spout. if you have time you might remover the oil plug first and drain some of the oil out. I have tried this one but wasn't around to see the effects but I am sure that I did some damage.
- Slow Air - Ok, sneak up the victims car and poke a small hole somewhere in 2 of his/her tires. They only have 1 spare. Now if the hole is small but there then there tire will go flat some where on the road. You could slice the tire so this is blows out on the road wih a razor blade. Cut a long and fairly deep (don't cut a hole all the way through) and peel a little bit of the rubber back and cut that off. Now very soon there tires will go flat or a possible blow out at a high speed if your lucky.
- Vanishing Paint - Spread a little gas or paint thiner on the victims car and this will make his paint run and fade. Vodka will eat the paint off and so will a little 190. Eggs work great on paint if they sit there long enough.
- Loose Wheel - Loosen the lugs on you victums tires so that they will soon fall off. This can really fuck some one up if they are cruising when the tire falls off.
- Dual Neutral - This name sucks but pull the 10 bolt or what ever they have there off. (On the real wheels, in the middle of the axle) Now throw some screws, blots, nuts and assorted things in there and replace the cover. At this point you could chip some of the teeth off the gears.
- Un-Midaser - Crawl under their car with a rachet and losen all the nuts on their exhaust so that it hangs low and will fall off soon. This method also works on transmissions but is a little harder to get all bolts off, but the harder you work the more you fuck them over.
Have Fun! -= Exodus =-
Due to a lot of compliments, I have written an update to file #14. I have left the original intact. This expands upon the original idea, and could be well called a sequal. -----Ex.
How to have phun with someone else's car. If you really detest someone, and I mean detest, here's a few tips on what to do in your spare time. Move the windshield wiper blades, and insert and glue tacks. The tacks make lovely designs. If your "friend" goes to school with you, Just before he comes out of school. Light a lighter and then put it directly underneath his car door handle. Wait...Leave...Listen. When you hear a loud "shit!", you know he made it to his car in time. Remove his muffler and pour approximately 1 Cup of gas in it. Put the muffler back, then wait till their car starts. Then you have a cigarette lighter. A 30 foot long cigarette lighter. This one is effective, and any fool can do it. Remove the top air filter. That's it.
Or a oldie but goodie: sugar in the gas tank. Stuff rags soaked in gas up the exhaust pipe. Then you wonder why your "friend" has trouble with his/her lungs. Here's one that takes time and many friends. Take his/her car then break into their house and reassemble it, in their living or bedroom. Phun eh? If you're into engines, say eeni mine moe and point to something and remove it. They wonder why something doesn't work. There are so many others, but the real good juicy ones come by thinking hard.
-----------Exodus