Furry Copypasta
Fuck you, /b/.
Last Friday I was browsing /b/ as usual, sipping on some Iced Tea with a shitty, edited version of Pulp Fiction playing on TV. I just got home from school (I'm 18, no underage b&) and felt like relaxing because my week fucking sucked. I began drifting off while /b/ was up, only to wake up to my parents' screaming. "... eed MENTAL HELP? We didn't raise you to look at shit like this!" Sure enough, on my computer screen was an image of two furries engaging in anal sex, and my parents were hovering over my shoulder venemously scorning me. They're putting me through therapy thanks to you. Merry fucking Christmas.
Some of you, of course, have asked me how to defeat the furries, claiming it impossible or ultimately futile. The /b/tards who claim the former are uninformed, the latter are the worst kind of 'tard, the kind who let furfaggots yiff all over the place to begin with. Fortunately, the cleanup methods are relatively simple and easy, and though they're not always clean, they ruin a thread, at the very least.
The first lesson we can take is from the desu spammers. Spam ultimately works. Flaming and spam saw the destruction of the tripfags, and with time it may see the destruction of furfilth. When you see a furry thread, simply pull up a massive, repetitive spam copypasta, consisting of things such as "kill all furries," "furries gtfo," or similar such content. When applied following the first tactic, the spam can become more effective; furries making whiny original posts will ultimately be drowned out. Even if they try to counterspam with images, they can easily be outpaced by hitting "back" so that you get your already-filled spam window. Once you have this window back, simply add one character and resubmit, doing it as much as you feel necessary. The thread is ultimately ruined, as superlong spam messages in multiple succession make scrolling to read posts by furries next to impossible.
The most important thing to remember is to sage furry threads. Many so-called "furries" are merely our /b/rothers posting furry porn to rile up other /b/tards. These "furries" BENEFIT from bumped threads, as such threads satisfy their desire for drama and anger, clogging the board in a way that amuses them. These trolls are ultimately defeated when they realize that the spam they receive was done with drone- like disinterest and no originality, thus denying them the pleasure to see people get pissed. It is quite simple to find the thread again after saging; merely hit back until you get the window with your spam message in it, ready to go. Conveniently, the "sage" will still be in the email field, saving you even more time as you spam the thread into its grave. This can be repeated multiple times, allowing you to attack a thread even as furfags search /b/ to post more of their disgusting porn.
Many of my /b/rothers tell me that furry is a part of /b/, just as much as Caturday or cockmongler or more recent memes such as the pool's closed nigra and shoop da whoop. These /b/rothers ARE YOUR ENEMY. Their ignorance and inaction helped lead to the yiff-filled /b/ we see today. When 4chan was founded, furry was something that was banned. Many besides myself recall the epic win that was April's Fursday, which saw the mass banning of tons of furfags from 4chan. Still others will recall the time of W.T. Snacks, when furfags had more to worry about than under the current mods. Know this, /b/rothers, the furry is not a part of /b/. He is not a meme. He is not a /b/rother. He is scum, he is the enemy, he is an unwelcome guest at the banquet of faggotry at the table of /b/.
(Note: a sample anti-furry spam block will be attached to this thread, for your time and convenience.)
I've been a Furry for 10 years now and want to stop. The problem is that the group of furs that I hang out with don't like me now and if I took my fursuit off, they would probably beat me up and kill me. My last boyfriend (a cute b/w wolf) gave me herpes on my ass and now I have a hard time taking a shit. Sometimes I have to take an Ex-lax so my shit will come out easy.
I've never had sex with a girl, because I don't know how to pick them up. That's why I turned Furry. But now I'm just tired of guys ripping my ass when they don't use lubrication. I've had to get stitches three times. I went out with a fox last night who said he only gives, he doesn't receive, so I had to suck his dick and he made me swallow or he would kick my ass.
- Tony, Age 20, Austin, Texas
Yes, I am a fox. So? I dont see any problem. I embraced my animal soul long ago and I am happy together with my boyfriend (who is a cute b/w wolf!). We have a fucking lot of friends in and outside of the fandom and I am pretty slim and good looking. But thanks anyway asshole. Go and watch your stupid anime shit while I have SEX with my boyfriend.