Gaia
also cocks
99% of this article comes from ED.
Gaia Online is the worst site on the whole entire internet. It consumes normal beings like a black hole and throws out gay, furry spawns of pure faggootry. It has always been man's worst enemy and a huge part of the cancer killing the internet. All it is is a retarded website which caters to the wants and needs of fags, weaboos, and furries who enjoy reading manga and watching anime, playing video games, and role=playing in a shitty online roleplaying. In short, it is just pure shit. The people who go there are dumb, ugly, fat and have no real life.
Like in a perfect greedy zionist community, you get to buy items in an over-inflated "economy" in order to dress up your anime-style avatar. The time it takes you to earn the gold for a simple shirt can be used to balance your checkbook, buy a real shirt for yourself, and watch how you slowly become a faggot. If you don't feel like earning your pixel gold, you can also spend real money to buy some. If you do this, you are an idiot, a complete faggot and support Israel's war against humanity.
Because it spreads like AIDS, Gaia Online is the largest English forum-based community on the internet, though most users don't speak anything the rest of us would recognize as English. Sources claim, that the Gaia virus has spread over 9000 servers already and is not stopping before it gets them all. It has, however, become the largest concentrated amount of stupid and faggotry on the Internet, populated by 16 year olds, furries, and /b/tards who are just waiting for the next "raid" to occur so they can hide their secret shame by claiming their carefully crafted avatar on an account worth over 9000 million gold is "just for trolling."
The best part is that on average, at least 100,000 members are online at any given time, all with complex avatars that cause the servers butthurt, which gives the Gaiafags butthurt in return. To keep the Gaiasheep in line, Gaia has only about 119 active administrators, which means trolls can and do get away with rape and murder on a regular basis.
Gaia has several forums, of which all are PG-13. Posting a picture of a naked slut is considered trolling. All the users are 12 and under and everything is about 5 years behind the times, especially the unique brand of anti-humor peddled by gaiafags. Also, you can get banned for laughing when somebody trolls Pain Series and for doing anything which is not homosexual. The forums are all shitty, but each still differ from their degrees of shittiness.:
Announcements
- Announcements about Gaia which mean absolutely nothing and are complete total shit.
- A place for fags trying to do things without having to actually be a proper member, and thus get swallowed up by the Chatterbox. In other words, complete total shit.
- A place for Gaiafags to make e-friends. 90% of the people post in this forum are gay, the other 10% being failed GDers who have been kicked out of the General Discussion board, so they hang out and make fun of newfags.
- This board is the Gaia equivalent of /b/, and may be the most difficult board to troll. This is due to the fact that several porn trolls already exist there, and several sex threads exist as well; of course, since these are 12-15 year old faggots, it is sure that they're just spewing shit they don't know about.
- Basically, this is a debating board full of fags who can't debate because they adamantly believe they are correct in the matter, when the chances are, they are completely wrong. Most threads end up in long-winding flamewars, usually on topics about abortion or religion. This ends up making the board the pure definition of TL;DR. Decent people should not go here unless they're no afraid of being attacked by zionist bleeding-heart communist liberals who think you should be burned for saying the Pledge of Allegiance and eating steak with your WWII veteteran grandparent(s).
- A board for whiny Gaiafags to get help over menial things, like what they should do if their iPod got stolen, they got caught having sex, and other things that cause 16 year old girls angst.
- Gaia's interpretation of Rule 34: If it exists, there is a story about it.
- Meme abuse is a must. Create three threads complaining about the "good old days of severs crashing" and become a prommie! All true Gaiafags post in this forum. And yes, they will take it up the butt for any NPC.
- Where elitist faggots bitch and whine about how good Gaia was in teh good ol' days when they got a database error for every other page they went to. The petitions forum is also quite interesting. It is usually filled with weaboos who are trying to get the corporation to break copyright laws so they can post their manga/anime shit all over the place. If you want to get an idea of the petitions board, why don't you just take a look at this as well. (WARNING: FAGGOTRY ALERT) CLICK
- All you need to know is that this is where the weaboo collective goes to talk about whatever character from whatever anime/manga can do whatever better than another character from another anime/manga, and stuff like that.
- This board is where elitist faggots bitch, whine, and moan about their and other people's avatars.
- Used mainly by cool people to ask if their avatars are t3h sexorz or to create topics like "GUYS CHOSE GIRLS, GIRLS ARE CHAINED UP LOL".
- Board filled with either gaming know-it-alls (Read: no-lifers), or noobs (Read: newfags). A normal topic would either be something like a "whatever video game character vs. another video game character, who would win???" thread, or a "what is you favorite video gaem???" thread; however, they may be paraphrased or posted in a different fashion, giving the illusion that there are several different threads in this board.
- This is where dumb fucks and conceited faggots go to brag about their hair and clothing styles, and bitch about other peoples' styles. Not a pretty sight, and ironic as well, because no Gaiafags have any fashion sense whatsoever.
- The official roleplay board. This is where the truly lifeless Gaiafags hang out, because they find their roleplaying to be easier than their actual lives.
For many retards and ugly people, RL is too hard, so they stick to fake OL communities and worlds. The ugliest of the ugly sign up at Gaia Online and live in fake towns.
It's bad enough that members are cybering themselves up in the game chats. Gaia towns is a bad ripoff of RO or Maple Story, only you CAN'T fight monsters, and the best damned thing is cleaning the town up. And who cares about trash and bugs?
The biggest boom for the giant cyberland are the houses that users can go inside. They can be decorated with fancy stuff. Generally you can find all the underage cyber sexx0rz inside.
The most popular fag base for a while was that of Peabulls (1000 b 1), which every wannabe /b/tard would frequent in order to become well known. Fags such as Greg, Neohart, and Noir Asuka were all banned for being weeaboos. These people who romp around the house showing off glitches and being as loud as they can are one example just of how low noobs will stoop to get noticed.
Once the home of Peabulls lost its touch, all the noobs decided to migrate, but not so far that they would have to worry about losing the credibility of being an "oldbie" of a house that didn't belong to them. Now they reside inside Twobits' (1000 b 1) home, where they continue to act like everything they say and do is "super amazing" when really they are loser fags with no lives.
No other houses deserve credit. Get over it.
Here's a few of the big name faggots you'll see on the site:
"Admin"
- Not really a mod or admin, more like a scapegoat. She`s used in many new announcements and in warning PMs, etc. Mods LOVE to use her when warning someone because it conceals their identity when it`s actually showing how much of a coward they are. This makes it impossible to get the moderator demoted.
- The gigantic faggot who created Gaia Online. He actually realized his site fails and tried to stay away from it as much as possible, but realized he was also a faggotry magnet and ultimately trapped himself in his own cesspool of fail. Nice going, faggot.
- According to ED, Lanzer is now in jail or something.
- A stupid fucking bitch who exceeds any stupid bitch in existance with her stupidity.
- The token slut mod. She is the destroyer of epic lulz and gets butthurt when ugly people namedrop her. She bans everyone she can get her hands on; then when her time is up, she goes outside. Not for exercise, but to work on the corner as an unpopular hooker who never loses her virginity, and only gets paid because her customers feel sorry for her, because Gaia doesn't pay her enough to ban people for telling her that her boobs are small and she has chin hair.
- The spiffy furfag mod that gets butthurt when Gaiafags make fun of furries.
- Previously a fucktarded mod that tried to look hardcore by drawing on the computer and making his own profile. IRL, he is a shrimpy emo bitch that cries when he gets a boner from the troll's CP posts. Tough shit, Zahir, your username belonged to a nigger that died from AIDS, you get no sympathy from us. He also abused his power. He isn't very interesting, can't take a joke, and LOVES to continually hide behind the mask of the ADMIN. A pretty faggy bitch, but now he's been demoted from Modship, because he's such a faggot.
- Retarded female mod who gets off on banning people. When nobody's doing anything wrong, she starts banning people for stuff they did at least 100 years ago. For this reason, nobody likes her, not even the other mods. Insists that her username is not based on the faggot-ass Naruto group ANBU, even though nobody is dumb enough to believe her.
The average Gaia Online user (or Gaian, as they call themselves) is batshit insane, since he, she or it has lost all taste, his/her sense of humor and any link to the real world. Although a Gayan is often deformed and retarded, trying to help a user by taking him away from the site may produce the same result as taking away heroin from a drug addict armed with a shotgun. They are the scum that this world should be cleansed of. - And your the fuckface that says this?
The Admins
- Because Lanzer, L0cke (another founder), and VO (another founder) are all Jewish, the mods of the site are constantly trying to find new ways to make money in order to create anti-lulz, "fix" bugs, or otherwise give in to user demands. However, most users are either ingrates or vaguely aware of the fact that they are being scammed, and as such whine about everything that the admins do, even if it's a good thing.
- Despite the fact that furfags and Gaiafags are essentially synonymous, if not completely, and though there's little question, you might still ask why. Of course, since Gaia is a huge pile of shit, furries are attracted to it.
- One of the September items was an item that turned you into a BJD, a Dragon, a Human Torch knockoff, a zombie, some sort of shiny metal shit, and a 'feline skin'. Naturally, upon seeing this, every furfag within earshot suddenly came all over their dog and ran to the site to buy the item and turn into some sort of cat or lizard. This, included with an item that allowed you to wear fig leaves instead of underwear, led to a run of all kinds of furfags running around and pretending to be naked. Though the avatars on Gaia had no genitals to speak of, some furfags were able to retrofit a robotic long cock to their avatar and set about traumatizing the population of Gaia despite already being responsible for the decendance of their lives into pure furfaggotry.
- On November 15 2007 the site released an item that has three furries. A wolf whose ass is bigger than Texas, a tiger no one gives a shit about, and a Chocobo that Final Fantasy 7-loving gaiafags creamed their pants over. Like the September item that turns you into a furry, it caused furfags to strip naked using the leaf item and start yiffing the shit out of the animals (mainly the wolf). However, like September's items, the gaiafags forgot the avatars have no genitals, so they can't have sex with the animals. Instead they just pretend they`re fucking them.
- Stupid furfags.
- Not only that, but in less than a week, they gave the "companions" armor that costs a quarter in IRL money to get. The faggotry seems endless.
- Recently the developers made it so you can't say the word Pedobear. Their reason is that they're "afraid that predators will infest the site trying to get little children to come to their house" but really the reason is that they're afraid of Anonymous. Looks like they'll be buying curtains, phoneline trackers, advanced security systems and A DOG!
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Fun update: You can no longer type anything containing the word pedo. Anything at all. Even if it's a medical or scientific term. So if you're a pedologist, find a new place to tell people about it. Angry lulz ensue as the GD is filled to the brim with lusers trying to find new ways to describe their hobbies.Fun Fun Update: Gaia has caved to the masses like the schoolgirls they are and have released the orphans from the Christmas event to the Gaiafags. Users can now openly show their pedo pride. Bonus lulz: A previously unreleased orphan is actually Chris Hansen disguised as Pedobear. Run, Pedobear! IT'S A TRAP!
- Ironically enough, many Gaiafags now think it appropriate to refer to themselves as such. After some Gaiafag got the idea that being part of /b/ instantly made him cool, it spread and many Gaians rushed over to post in /b/. This resulted in the cancer that is killing /b/. It also resulted in many Gaiafags thinking it made them cool to adopt terms used by /b/, like "Gaiafag" and "newfag."
- While at first it was uncommon to see many people using such phrases it is now incredibly common to see people using it at every possible chance. Many consider it a title of honor and act as if being a Gaiafag is the coolest thing around. In other words, they are conceited faggots.
- After an update the developers made, you are now forced to have mouths. This lead to many users pissing and moaning about how great it was having no mouth not realising they can just delete their fucking avatar, but the fact here is that the admins just wanna fuck you in the face. Just look at how big those mouths are! You can shove two or three dicks in there. That's why they're forcing you to have mouths: so they can fuck you and steal your moneys.
- To remove the mouth, the user needs to delete their avatar and create a new one without adding a mouth. Then the user has to waste their precious gold on buying the craptastic hair they originally had.
- Fun update: Gaia just released some kind of reverse update thing where they got rid of forced mouths. This is probably because the mods got so many non-consensual blowjobs from users that their cocks just fell right off. Users are frantically trying to find out if the update gave them their robotic penises back, but they haven't had any luck. also they need to get a fucken life u dont need to just sit their and race cars or go to houses.
- One of Gaia's "greatest" things to come since sliced cheese, except it has caused tons of drama. In fact, it`s one of many, MANY things the fags complain about or mention when they're pissed off about something (EX: WHERE`S OUR BATTLE SYSTEM?! BAWWWWWWWW), this is due to the fact that the staff said it`d come out in 2003, then 2004 and then 2005 and now that they`ve become an hueg corporation, they now say it`ll be out this year.
- The best part is that when the battle system comes out, it`ll be just like the MMO the Gaiafags left ages ago (read: Runescape), but with MOAR DRAMA! OH THE IRONY!
- Talk to an NPC, do what he tells you to do, speak to him again, claim your prize.
- Sound familiar?
- Though seemingly routine, these quests have been proven to contain dangerously high levels of idiocy.
- On Sept 24, 2007, the fag admins decided to give the weeaboos what they wanted: a Naruto quest. This led to over 9000 Narutards creaming their pants.
- After following through with their obligatory consumer worship, it was revealed that the items themselves were merely Japanese-themed items stamped with the Ubisoft logo, effectively turning Gaiafags into walking ads for Ubisoft by tricking them into thinking the prizes were Naruto merchandise of some kind. However on March 18, 2008 the admins decided to give what the faggots want and gave them Kunais. So now Gaiafags everywhere will have these things on hand.
Main Article: The Second Longcat Crusade
Just recently, gaiafags stole many of Anonymous's cherished memes and turned them into items. The items include:
* Longcat
* Tacgnol
* Cheese Burger Cat
* Monorail Cat
* Ceiling Cat
* A Hat labeled as "Epic Fail Hat" with the (failing) description of "This is an epic fail hat. It is made of fail and barf."
* A Guy Fawkes Mask
* A YARLY Hat
* A TLDR Hat (which is completely doing it wrong)
Gaia evidently feels that the *chans are a bunch of fun-loving, zany wackos!
In other words, the same Gaia that gave /b/ the newfag invasion just bitchslapped Anonymous with their act of meme theft.
Category:Enemies Category:Sites