The Book of Tubes

Chapter 0 0:0 And Long Cat called unto Kakama, and spake unto him out of the series if tubes which is the interwebs, saying, 0:1 Speak unto the children of /i/, and say unto them, If an Anon wishes to speaketh of /b/, let it be known unto him, don’t speaketh of /b/, for this is the road to Newfags. 0:2 It is of the utmost importance to remember this, but if one does abide to the rule, remind them by saying once again do NOT fucking speaketh of /b/! 0:3 And let it be known that We are Anonymous. 0:4 And by the actions of Anonymous, carried out through the collective, the world shall know that We are legion. 0:5 And through smiting our enemies and the innocent, it shall be known that We do not forgive nor do we forget. 0:6 And it shall be said that Anonymous is a horrible, senseless, and uncaring monster. 0:7 Even so, Anonymous is still able to deliver. 0:8 And the Mods, the sons of Admins, shall enforce the rules for their respected chans, but let it be known that despite the rules of the Admins, there are no real rules about posting. 0:9 Knowing this, let it also be know that there are no real rules to moderation either. Enjoyeth thy ban.

Chapter 1 1:0 If one amongst you enjoyeth a rival site, let it be known – DON’T. 1:1 And let it also be known that all of your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored. 1:2 And let it be known that anything one speaketh can and will be used against them.
1:3 Or can be turned into something completely different. 1:4 And do not argue with trolls, for joining in their game automatically makes them the winrar. 1:5 And let it be declared that the harder one tries, the harder one will fail. 1:6 And if one fails in epic proportions, thy failure may become a winning failure. 1:7 But every win fails eventually. 1:8 And if something can be labeled, it can be hated. 1:9 But as something is hated, the more hated it is, the stronger it gets.

Chapter 2 2:0 And nothing, whether it be sacred, taboo, or common, is to be taken seriously. 2:1 And all original content shall only remain original for a few seconds before becoming old. 2:2 And copy pasta is meant to ruin every last bit of originality. 2:3 And copy pasta is meant to ruin every last bit of originality. 2:4 And if thy seeeth a repost, knoweth that every repost is always a repost of a repost. 2:5 And know that when posting, relation to the original topic decreaseth with every single post. 2:6 And any topic can be easily turned into something totally unrelated. 2:7 And always question a person’s sexual preferences without any real reason. 2:8 And always question a person’s gender, for thou never knowest if they be a man. 2:9 In the interwebs, all girls are men and all kids are undercover F.B.I agents. Do not let thyself be caught in a trap.

Chapter 3 3:0 And let it be known, there are no girls on the internet. 3:1 And if one claims to be a girl, they must be given two choices, TITS or GTFO. 3:2 And if a statement is made, pictures must be provided to prove it, or it did not happen. 3:3 And even if you understand everything occurring within the chans, lurk moar, for it shall never be enough. 3:4 And if it exists, there shall be porn of it. There shall be no exceptions to this rule.
3:5 And if there is not porn to be found of it at the moment, it shall be made. 3:6 And no matter what you see, there shall always be even more fucked up shit than what you just saw. 3:7 And thou can not divide by zero, for the calculator says so. 3:8 And no real limits of any kind apply here, not even the sky 3:9 AND CAPLOCKS IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL .

Chapter 4 4:0 BUT EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL, YOU STILL HAVE TO STREER. 4:1 And let be declared that Desu is not funny. Seriously, it’s worse than Chuck Norris jokes. 4:2 And Nothing is Sacred. 4:3 And the more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it. 4:4 And saying even one positive comment about Japanese things can makest thou a weeaboo. 4:5 And when one sees a lion, one must get in the car. 4:6 And there is always furry porn of it. 4:7 And the pool shall always closed, for is has AIDs.