Dear Friends,
I’m not going anywhere, but this is goodbye. I had a good run -- over twenty years designing and developing software -- but it’s time for me to bid farewell to the tech biz.
I extend heartfelt thanks to my former employers, colleagues, and clients. I leave with rich friendships and memories. I collaborated with some very smart people, and am gratified that my efforts contributed to some groundbreaking technology. I also helped make a couple of people very wealthy. Myself, I earned rewards that I hold dear: A spouse, a house, a fast car, a flush 401(k).
Age undeniably plays a part in my transition. The Bay Area technology scene is still young, and its leaders even younger. The signs my time is up are clear. Social media makes me miserable. Screen addicts aggravate me. Gaming gives me vertigo. I love the craft of coding, but I kicked my app habit. Think of me as a silent film actor in the sound era, a photofinisher after Photoshop, a typesetter in the age of PostScript. Big Tech got what it needed from me, then set me free.
Becoming old happened overnight. I wasn’t even aware of it until they told me. It only took me two years, 176 applications, dozens of multiple stage interviews, and a code exam graveyard to realize this. To impress upon you how very, very old I am: Imagine a web before online ads.
I’m also burned out, overdone, deep fried, crispy. My framework fatigue is incurable. I’m exhausted from keeping pace with the latest, greatest best practices. The thought of another day-long interview whiteboarding clever algorithms to impress inscrutable engineers gives me the heebie-jeebies. I’m disenchanted with the future.
I’m healthier and happier (and poorer) since I put the front end behind me (a web dev pun). As closely as I defined myself by my career, I can’t say I miss it. No amount of mindfulness could save me from the open floor plan asylums that serve as start-up workspaces. No amount of meditation could cure the anxiety attacks that knocked me on my ass, unexpectedly, anytime. (Literally -- I thought that passing out at my desk was normal.)
It was a thrill to ride an era-defining industry. I fell into tech by being in the right place at the right time with the right skills. I settled in San Francisco in search of opportunity, and I found it in the embryonic, auspicious, somewhat silly World Wide Web. I was young, ambitious, and clueless, exactly who companies were recruiting. Briefly, for a couple of months in the dot.com days, the work even made me “cool.”
Such opportunities were easier to find back in the day. Cheap city rent and a living wage gave me the freedom to pursue hobbies like building computers, running a BBS, and studying subjects that fascinated me, like the art of programming and the rules of design. It matured me from a dreamer to a maker. San Francisco thirty years ago was a different city, not as nice as now, yet better.
What’s next for me? I’m free from the cultish meritocracy work ethic I once embraced. My creative energy is now focused on personally meaningful projects. I’m rested and looking ahead. See you around!
Love,
Mat