Changes to be less preachy, idealistic, remove non-public quote and improve focus #1
Conversation
updated to remove adjacent points which don't support the main thrust of this post.
Satya's statement was in an internal-only Q&A and should not have been used as it was by the original author (whoever that is, I don't know).
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| Following our mission to "Empower every person and every organization in the planet to achieve more", it is essential that we secure a planet with livable conditions for *everyone*. This includes victims of [disaster displacement](https://weather.com/forecast-change/news/2019-06-04-how-the-middle-east-drought-and-flood-cycle-will-probably-lead-to ) often from the Global South and Black and Brown communities who are [disproportionately affected](https://www.ebony.com/news/environmental-justice-begins-with-understanding-how-climate-change-impacts-african-american-communities/) by climate change. | ||
| Following our mission to "Empower every person and every organization in the planet to achieve more", it is essential that we secure a planet with livable conditions for *everyone*. |
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I think it's important to leave this part in
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Hm I just realised I'm not as good at github as I should be. You mean, you'd want to retain the whole deleted part (line 22)?
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Bumped, as I edited after initial reply. Hm I just realised I'm not as good at github as I should be. You mean, you'd want to retain the whole deleted part (line 22)?
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Yeah, I'd want to keep all of it, to be clear that
a) people are currently being affected by climate change, e.g. by disasters
b) the majority affected are the global south and black and brown communities
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I thought they were good points, too, but didn't think they were directly relevant to the post. I could imagine them being in an essay on the awful reality and social injustices of climate change, of course. Since neither of us can control the master, let's see what happens.
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I agree with @JPumphrey here that it's important to acknowledge the intersectional nature of climate change. If anything, I'd add even more to this section to also include the diversity and inclusivity core priority at Microsoft (which I feel these contracts violate).
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Your edits have a real "All Lives Matter" vibe that frankly seem in poor taste to me. I agree that climate change is currently being felt by marginalized communities to an apocalyptic degree, and the original text reflects that while your edits do not. Seems inappropriate.
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I oppose the merging of this PR generally. Most of the changes dilute the impact and message of the letter. While I understand the concerns of a "preachy" tone, I don't think a less impactful letter is appropriate for the level of these concerns. I particularly oppose the removal of the part about the impact on "Global South and Black and Brown communities who are disproportionately affected." I think people that Microsoft affects need to be centered and not removed for a generalized "everyone." It weakens the letter dramatically. Edit: I want to be clear I don't think the letter itself has a "concern" of being preachy, just that I understand there will be some calls to tone-police the letter. |
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| Following our mission to "Empower every person and every organization in the planet to achieve more", it is essential that we secure a planet with livable conditions for *everyone*. This includes victims of [disaster displacement](https://weather.com/forecast-change/news/2019-06-04-how-the-middle-east-drought-and-flood-cycle-will-probably-lead-to ) often from the Global South and Black and Brown communities who are [disproportionately affected](https://www.ebony.com/news/environmental-justice-begins-with-understanding-how-climate-change-impacts-african-american-communities/) by climate change. | ||
| Following our mission to "Empower every person and every organization in the planet to achieve more", it is essential that we secure a planet with livable conditions for *everyone*. |
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This part particularly should be left as is. Microsoft tends to be more affluent workers, and I think it's very important to center marginalized people. I think it would be particularly tone-deaf to remove this.
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I can see that perspective, because I agree there's a serious problem with social and inequitable impacts from climate change. For example, Bangladesh and the Pacific Islands will be flooded from ocean levels rises, creating millions of climate refugees.
I wish the original author had engaged the Microsoft community in advance of this presumptive post, so some consensus could have been reached on what strength of language people agree with.
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@girifox it looks like this was co-authored by multiple Microsoft workers. Who are you to claim they didn’t “engage the Microsoft community” just because you weren’t part of it?
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I'm engaged with the worldwide sustainability community, our largest internal climate interest group, and there was no approach or invitation to that group to review a draft. Therefore, the author/s were not inclusive of the whole community, and can't claim to speak for the whole. (Hey I'd be fine if there was a caveat on their post about its voice being from a subset of interested employees. I'm freaked-out about climate change. I care, so I think our energy would be way better invested outward towards positive change, and not bickering about a lack of inclusive on a post like this.)
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This letter doesn't speak for the whole, but rather to the whole. The internal climate interest group is free to listen to it or not, to engage with it or not, and to write its own letter or not. These are two different groups taking two different approaches. This is good! The best activism efforts succeed when there are a diversity of tactics employed.
What gets in the way is when groups start calling out the other's tactics for not conforming to their own views on what is the best way. Right now, this is what you're doing.
I care, so I think our energy would be way better invested outward towards positive change, and not bickering about a lack of inclusive on a post like this.
To be clear, you're the one bickering here and trying to get things changed. If you think your energy is better spent elsewhere, then why are you bickering here?
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| # Microsoft Workers for Climate Justice | |||
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| Yesterday, a major collaboration between Microsoft, Chevron and Schlumberger, an oilfield services company, was [announced](https://news.microsoft.com/2019/09/17/schlumberger-chevron-and-microsoft-announce-collaboration-to-accelerate-digital-transformation/). This partnership outlines Microsoft's use of ["a cloud-based artificial intelligence platform to improve digital services in the oil field.”](https://www.chron.com/business/energy/article/Schlumberger-Chevron-and-Microsoft-launch-14445539.php) With this kind of news making headlines just 3 days before the Global Climate Strike, it's no longer possible for us to ignore Microsoft's complicity in the climate crisis. | |||
| Yesterday, a major collaboration between Microsoft, Chevron and Schlumberger, an oilfield services company, was [announced](https://news.microsoft.com/2019/09/17/schlumberger-chevron-and-microsoft-announce-collaboration-to-accelerate-digital-transformation/). This partnership outlines Microsoft's use of ["a cloud-based artificial intelligence platform to improve digital services in the oil field.”](https://www.chron.com/business/energy/article/Schlumberger-Chevron-and-Microsoft-launch-14445539.php) This news just days before the Global Climate Strike is a timely example of the awful clash between our economic system and survival of the planet. | |||
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Generally speaking, shifting from active voice to passive voice should be avoided. The purpose of documents such as this are not to present data from a neutral perspective, but rather to convince people to take action. Use of passive voice tends to undercut this goal.
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I was actually more trying to remove the term 'complicit' which I disagreed with. We are all complicit already, by being employed within a capitalist system, by being consumers, having a car, having travelled by air in the past, etc, the list goes on.
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I think it's important to leave complicit in, see my comment below.
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| [The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change](https://report.ipcc.ch/sr15/pdf/sr15_spm_final.pdf) (IPCC) declares 2030 as the tipping point for irreversible damage to our planet. It is imperative for industry leaders such as Microsoft to respond to this emergency as soon as possible and set an example for other tech companies. This is humanity's biggest challenge, requiring the contributions from corporations, organizations, and government to enact systemic change. | ||
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| The youth have realized that climate change is a threat insurmountable by individual action and have [called](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/may/23/greta-thunberg-young-people-climate-strikes-20-september) upon the rest of the world to support them. We must use the Global Climate Strike, inspired by 16-year-old Swedish climate activist [Greta Thunberg's school strikes](https://www.fridaysforfuture.org/), as an opportunity to stand together and demand the transformation that our world needs. Doing so is not only taking responsibility for the mistakes that future generations will have to pay for but also the only viable way forward. | ||
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| But first, we have to acknowledge our company's role in our warming planet. | ||
| Our company should reconsider its technology support of oil and gas exploitation, and should have a deliberate plan to withdraw our innovation from that sector, as a matter of principal. |
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I agree with this statement, but I think it occurs too early in this document. The original statement starts the process of building a case for this argument. A statement such as this should come later, after the case has been built
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| As Microsoft workers, we've been made complicit. | ||
| As Microsoft workers, whilst we are proud of the efforts the company has made towards improving sustainability, we must do more. |
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This removes the importance of individual accountability, which is important, and I think we should leave the original wording in place.
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How do you feel about the guilty by association term 'complicit'?
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I think the term 'complicit' is the exact right phrase to use here, because we are guilty by association.
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| The Global Climate Strike is an opportunity for Microsoft to set an example as a leader in the tech industry. The company has taken many initiatives that focus on individual contributions, such as educating employees on composting, reducing waste, and making our [campus carbon neutral](https://blogs.microsoft.com/on-the-issues/2017/07/14/creating-carbon-free-headquarters-puget-sound-region/ ). There are also efforts to leverage artificial intelligence to solve specific and important climate-related problems. However, given the urgency and complexity of the crisis, these actions are not enough. | ||
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| If we want to make real impact, all of us need to mobilize, work together, and demand a fundamental change in Microsoft's priorities. It's clear that the tech industry is one of the main culprits behind our burning planet, both in consuming a great deal of fossil fuels through power hungry datacenters and supporting Big Oil companies. But we also have to recognize that we're equipped with so many resources that we can leverage to steer our industry and government in the right direction. | ||
| If we want to make real impact, all of us need to mobilize, work together, and demand a fundamental change in Microsoft's priorities. |
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I think the rest of this paragraph is an important supporting argument for the first sentence. You could explore wordsmithing it a bit more, but it really needs to remain more or less in place.
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| Microsoft makes millions of dollars in profits by helping fossil fuel companies extract more oil. In this week's company-wide all-hands, our CEO, Satya Nadella, defended our contracts with Big Oil by suggesting that our technology helps them in their R&D efforts to develop sustainable energy. Yet, this is in clear contradiction to the ambitions of fossil fuel-CEOs and even other Microsoft leaders: Azure Executive Tom Keane, in discussing [Microsoft's multimillion dollar contract with Chevron](https://news.microsoft.com/transform/chevron-fuels-digital-transformation-with-new-microsoft-partnership/), asked "How can we [..] more efficiently do oil exploration? Or more efficiently do sensor management from an offshore oil rig?" | ||
| One could defend our contracts with oil and gas by suggesting that our technology helps in their R&D efforts to develop sustainable energy. Yet, Azure Executive Tom Keane, in discussing [Microsoft's multimillion dollar contract with Chevron](https://news.microsoft.com/transform/chevron-fuels-digital-transformation-with-new-microsoft-partnership/), asked "How can we [..] more efficiently do oil exploration? Or more efficiently do sensor management from an offshore oil rig?" |
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"One could defend" lends legitimacy to that defense. This phrasing works against the purpose of this document. I think the original wording should be left in place.
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I was also trying to remove an inferred quote from the CEO which was given to an internal audience. Our Yammer community says its content is not for sharing.
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I think the comment is a really crucial part of this conversation, regardless of what the Yammer guidelines state. It should stay.
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| Following our mission to "Empower every person and every organization in the planet to achieve more", it is essential that we secure a planet with livable conditions for *everyone*. This includes victims of [disaster displacement](https://weather.com/forecast-change/news/2019-06-04-how-the-middle-east-drought-and-flood-cycle-will-probably-lead-to ) often from the Global South and Black and Brown communities who are [disproportionately affected](https://www.ebony.com/news/environmental-justice-begins-with-understanding-how-climate-change-impacts-african-american-communities/) by climate change. | ||
| Following our mission to "Empower every person and every organization in the planet to achieve more", it is essential that we secure a planet with livable conditions for *everyone*. |
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I agree with @JPumphrey here that it's important to acknowledge the intersectional nature of climate change. If anything, I'd add even more to this section to also include the diversity and inclusivity core priority at Microsoft (which I feel these contracts violate).
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| Following our mission to "Empower every person and every organization in the planet to achieve more", it is essential that we secure a planet with livable conditions for *everyone*. This includes victims of [disaster displacement](https://weather.com/forecast-change/news/2019-06-04-how-the-middle-east-drought-and-flood-cycle-will-probably-lead-to ) often from the Global South and Black and Brown communities who are [disproportionately affected](https://www.ebony.com/news/environmental-justice-begins-with-understanding-how-climate-change-impacts-african-american-communities/) by climate change. | ||
| Following our mission to "Empower every person and every organization in the planet to achieve more", it is essential that we secure a planet with livable conditions for *everyone*. |
I don't know who the original author is of this 'MS workers statement' even though I would identify myself as being part of that community. I did not like its tone and believe my proposed changes edit it to a more collaborative tone.