backport: merge bitcoin#21594, #21843, #22306, #22211, #22387, #21528, #22616, #22604, #22960, #23218 (networking backports: part 3)

backport: merge bitcoin#21594, #21843, #22306, #22211, #22387, #21528, #22616, #22604, #22960, #23218 (networking backports: part 3) #321