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POORDASH.COM

Race to the Bottom!

PoorDash is a delivery and fitness app in one!

PoorDash is the first app that pays delivery people by the calorie! That means if you have to ride up a hill or walk up several flights of stairs, you get paid extra! It's a great way to get paid to be fit!

Plus, it's the only app that incentivizes delivery people to use cars.

PLUS, if you want to get in on the calories for calories program, you can cash in your Sweat Bonuses for free food!

ChitCoins

Chitcoins are a cryptocurrency issued by PoorDash and other partiticipating platforms that allow for instant payments and transactions with participating vendors. Deliverators will receive instant ChitCoin payments, which will be paid based on the current exchange rate and the calories burned during a delivery. These can be spent at any business offering PoorDash delivery.

Wages

Some people ask, how can you pay people less than minimum wage? Well, it's really no different from the restaurant industry. Many waiters have a base pay that's less than minimum wage, but they take home more than higher-paid workers because they receive tips. Think of the sweat bonus you earn using PoorDash the same way you would think about a tip. It's our way of acknowledging your hard work!

Benefits

At PoorDash, we think physical fitness is the best health plan of all, and with all the exercise you'll be getting, you won't need health care, so we don't give it to you.

Caveats

  • Because we must standardize the amount of effort and prevent abuse, we require every rider purchase an approved bike by PoorDash that meets the weight, safety and feature requirements.
  • PoorDash riders must keep a tracker affixed to their bike at all times while riding. Any tampering with the tracker will result in a warning, and then a ban from the platform.

Disclaimers

  • This site is a work of interactive conceptual art. It is not intended to be taken seriously. Any similarities to actual companies or business practices used by gig economy companies is purely coincidental but if you feel targeted, it's because you are.
  • Any angel investors cynical enough to want to turn this work of fiction into a reality are free to contact the artist.