tmg copy.text

Unreleased

Going to Brazil 

you've got something magic in your eyes you don't have to say you're sorry you've got a sentence waiting on your tongue pronounce it now I’m going where the air is hot where they speak a language sorta like one I can speak I’m going to South America don't wait up for me you've got what I need but I can't have it that's alright you're everything I want and I can't touch you let me touch you anyhow I’m going where the air is hot where they speak a language sorta like one I can speak yeah I am going to South America don't wait up for me I’ve got what you want but that's enough of that that'll be enough of that for now it's gonna clear-cut twenty thousand acres when I touch your hair 
I’m going where the air is hot where they speak a language sorta like one I can speak yeah, I am going to South America don't wait up for me I’m going to where the air is hot where they speak a language sorta like one I can speak yeah, I am going to South America don't wait up for me
 
<> Taboo VI: The Homecoming (1991)

Running Away With What Freud Said


big city, wide corner new flowers, cold comfort.56 Fahrenheit early in the morning buses passing by black smoke in their wake big surprises, a lot of big surprises bones ringing, running away with what Freud said same morning, world breathing far, far from home big ringing in the bones whose bones are these? god please feel the pumping, feel the fresh blood pump inside city's living, the city's truly living what's the difference? running away with what Freud said

<> Taboo VI: The Homecoming (1991)

Ice Cream, Cobra Man


I have a hand disfigured by snakebite. I have a couple of things that I really like and I am heading your way all the time. I'm going to move all my vital organs to someplace outside my body. The wiring is something you would not believe. I feel no pain as I float across your ceiling, and I -- I have no shame. I am in a thousand rooms all at the same time. Yeah and I have a glass filled with water and light, and I feel good tonight. I am climbing up this mountain. You can watch me. You can watch me.

<> Taboo VI: The Homecoming (1991)

Move (Chicago 196?) 


you leave, you're gonna get athlete’s foot. athletes foot, when you leave. oooh. athlete’s foot, athlete’s foot, athletes foot, when you leave. oooh, oooh. if you leave, you're gonna get athletes foot. athletes foot, when you leave. oooh. athlete’s foot, athlete’s foot. athletes foot, when you leave. oooh.

<> Taboo VI: The Homecoming (1991)

Don't Take the Dogs Away


don't take the dogs away. don't take that dog away from me. don't take the dogs away. don't take the dogs away from me. you do this every time. you do this every time I swear. you do this every time. you do this every time I learned. just look around. just look around the house we're in. what should I say to you? where do you want me to begin?don't take the dogs away. don't take the dogs away from me. don't take the dogs away. don't take the dogs away from me.

<> Taboo VI: The Homecoming (1991)
      
One Winter at Point Alpha Privative, 
        

what the hell kind of deal is it here anyway? how much does it cost and how long can you stay? should we dance? should we sing? should we curse? should we pray? do I have to hang on every single word that you say? every hour, every minute, every second of the day hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. what the hell's going on at the end of the debate? is there something eating you? will it leave a single trace? will it take your pretty features and lay them all to waste? could we sit down over there? could we sit down any place? can you feel the spirit moving? can you feel god's grace? hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. ever since I’ve married you I’ve wondered what it means. that every single shirt I owned has bursted at the seams every single piece of clothing, every last pair of jeans, all the reds, all the whites, all the yellows, all the greens. I’m sure that there's a reason all of this is happening. hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

<> Taboo VI: The Homecoming (1991)

Solomon Revisited 
        

you say you came to see me,
because you had nothing else to do,
but I've got a radio.
you say you'd thought you'd stop on by
and let me have a look at you,

but I've got a radio.
I've got a radio.
I've got a radio.
I've got a radio.
I've got a radio.

you say you brought some photographs, but I don't care to see them, 'cause I've got a radio.

you say this place must get dull sometimes, but that's not the way I see it. 'cause I've got a radio. I've got a radio.

I've got a radio.
I've got me a radio.
I've got a radio.

you see these frogs are treacherous,

but how long has it been since you've seen my feet?

you see, I've got a radio.
you warned me about all sorts of things,
but that's not the sort of warning that I need.
you see, I've got a radio.
I've got a radio.
I've got a radio.
I've got a radio.

I've got a radio.

<> Taboo VI: The Homecoming (1991)

Going to Alaska


The jacaranda are wet with color,

and the heat is a great paint brush, lending color to our lives,

and to the air, and to our faces; but I'm going to Alaska where there's snow to suck the sound out from the air.

Up, yes, in the branches,

the purple blossoms, go pale at the edges;
there is meaning in the shifting of the sap, and I see in them

traces
of last year, but then they hadn't grown so strong,

and their limbs were more like wires. Now they are cables. thick and alive with alien electricity, and I am going to Alaska,

where you can go blind just by looking at the ground,
where fat is eaten by itself

just to keep the body warm.

Because from where we are now, it seems, really,

that everything is growing in a thousand different ways; that the soil is soaked through with old blood and with relatives

who were buried here, or close to here, and they are giving rise

to what is happening. Or can you tell me otherwise? I am going to Alaska, where the animals can kill you, but they do so in silence, as though if no-one hears them, then it really won't matter. I am going to Alaska. They tell me that it's perfect for my purposes.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)

the garden song, 
        

I see the flowers in your garden are in bloom.
I see the flags are flying high.
I hear you've gone and rearranged things in your room.
I guess you're trying to cut-off my air supply.

I came toward your window, real slowly.
I knew deep down I was about to strike oil.
I guess by the now the flowers in your garden know me.
I felt them trying to get at me through the soil.

my bare feet felt the cool, soft dirt, moving up my ankles, but I don't fear you. the thorns began tearing at my shirt, but I didn't even care when they tore clear through.

your garden can't hurt me.
your flowers don't threaten my life.
your garden can't hurt me anymore.
your flowers don't threaten my life.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
      
going to Wisconsin, 
        

there was the sound of a lake boiling over
on that day.
everyone said just to sit still,
but the thickening air got in my way.

so the hooks been baited now,
yeah, the cheese is on the water.

yeah, all the water's been cleansed of all impurities, but now it really doesn't matter. let's go! let's go!

Wisconsin bound.
Wisconsin bound.
Wisconsin bound.

yeah, Wisconsin bound.

the bottom of the boat was a hot-plate come alive. but the boat wasn't real, and this is how I feel: you don't know where you are, until you arrive. and the frogs sang out from the distant banks. and you say you need me in California, but, no thanks!

Wisconsin bound.
Wisconsin bound.
Wisconsin bound.
yeah, Wisconsin bound.

let's go!

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)

spilling toward alpha

 
I hear you moving in the hallway.
I hear you sharpening your claws.
I hear you polishing your teeth, sometimes.
but I don't mind.

and I hear you out in the garage.

I hear you messing with the motor.
I hear you tinker with the engine, sometimes.

but I don't mind.

and I hear you moving in the kitchen! I hear you in there late at night. I notice when you leave the gas jets on sometimes. but I don't mind.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
alpha negative


the house was pretty and the yard was wide and I felt strong, with you at my side. your eyes at night, had a beautiful glowing in them. and I knew in my heart, just what was growing in them.

ah, but you made me drink poison.
it felt smooth running down my throat.
I love you. and you made me drink poison.
it was cool and smooth and sweet.
do you remember...

we had a bed of daisies thriving in the yard, and I quit my job, so I could hold you all the time. I tried to stop the thing metastasizing in us, but in the warm, slow evening, I could feel it rising in us.

ah, and you made me drink poison.
it felt so smooth, sliding down my throat.
I love you so much. and you made me drink poison.
it was cool and smooth and sweet and cool
and smooth and sweet and cool and smooth.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)

the torch song 


        we'll just try that again.

the sun was coming up, and our friend was sound asleep. but we saw through the window, that the water ran so deep, that you couldn't make out, the ocean floor,

then I saw you in the light. I couldn't take it any more.

give me your hand.
give me everything you've got.
and the light from window will fall on us burning hot,
just like a torch.

the air was humid; I will not forget. when we stepped outside, I hear your footsteps. now in my mind, it's a soft sound, almost imperceptible, against the giving ground.

let me kiss your eyelids with my lips. let me feel the heat coming off your fingertips, just like a torch.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
      
ape, 
        

you've been away, for quite some time. and now the rules are different, now everything's mine. backtrack. hey say, what's the problem? here's the problem:

everything's mine.

I can't be quiet.
I can't be quiet any more.
I can't be quiet.
I can't be quiet any more, yeah.

you've been away, for quite some time. and now the rules are different, now everything's mine. backtrack. hey, what's the problem? here's the problem:

everything's mine.

I can't be quiet.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
      
the cow song, 

        
bang, pow! look at me now.
don't let the cows stray off too far.
come down, take a good look around.

see how the cows start to shine like light bulbs.

I love the cows.
I love the cows.
I love the cows, yeah.
I love the cows.

rain comes, strikes you dumb.
re-seed the meadow so the cows don't starve.
mud puddle's a fine place to cuddle.
you're a mosquito or a mosquito's baby.

I love the cows.
I love the cows.
I love the cows.

I love the cows.

they're smiling in your face. all the time they wanna take your place. yeah you know who I mean, talkin' about those cow-machines.

I love the cows.
I love the cows.
I love the cows.
I love the cows.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
      
going to chino, 


        I'd like to say hello
to all our friends from chino.
to the people of chino, hello.
I'd like to say hello
to all our friends from chino.
to the people of chino, hello.

I know how hard it is, down in chino.
I know how you struggle, just to get by.
I know they got farm fresh eggs, down in chino.
and tract homes, reasonably priced!

I'd like to say hello
to all our friends from chino.
to the people from chino, hello.

I'd like to say hello
to all our friends from chino.
to the people from chino, hello.

convenient access to the 60 freeway.

accredited medical care, down at chino valley hospital. a unified school system, the likes of which you won't find elsewhere.

and friendly people.

I would like to say hello
to all our friends from chino.
to the people from chino, hello.
I'd just like to say hello
to all our friends from chino.
to the people from chino....hello.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
      
standard bitter love song #4, 
        

well I see you've left me a photograph of a leopard tearing an antelope in half. what have you done? what have you done? what have you done...with our love? what have you done?

well I see you've resorted to petty theft. you try to take something from me, but there's nothing left. what have you done? what have you done? what have done...with our love? where have you put it?

well I hear you calling from way over there and I can't find it anywhere. what have you done? what have you done? what have you done...with our love? what have you done?

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
    
  going to Mexico, 


        I saw you at your window.
I saw you in the sun.
I saw you in the window, looking out.

I reached my hand in there, then I touched your hair and felt myself burn, in the morning.

and the chickens were screaming.
black dog at my heels.
and the bluejays were coughing up in the trees.

I'd forgotten my name.
I felt kind of ashamed,
and felt myself burn, in the morning.

I saw you at your window,
at the beginning of summer!
and invisible stars, sent their heat down!

I imagined your touch,
it was almost too much!
burned like a bonfire in the morning.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
      
lab rat blues, 


        I saw you. I saw your hair.

I could spend the rest of my life in there.

I saw you, and I sank into your eyes.
I'm not going to apologize.

because you, with your own hands,
made the whole world.

you can't fool me.
I'm on to you now.

because you, with your own hands,
created everything.
you can't fool me.
I'm on to you now.

yeah, I saw you, but you saw me first, living water to quench my thirst. and you tell me quiet down, but I have no doubt. I know what you're all about, because you, with your own hands made the whole world. you can't fool me.

I'm on to you now.

because you, with your own hands, created everything. you can't fool me any more. I'm on to you now.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
     
 going to Kansas, 


        you were all were dressed in green! clouds bounced against the edges of the sky. you had the prettiest hair I'd ever seen. we saw the world passing by.

there was an ocean's droning,

though we were nowhere near the shore. we heard each other giggling and moaning, then we couldn't hear each other any more. yeah.

when my head was resting on your breast bone, I could hear your beating heart. 24 hours later, you had left me completely alone. I heard the whole world come apart.

and you were all dressed in green! rising in the sky was an unfamiliar star. you know, you know what I mean. yeah I remember who you are.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
      
the water song, 


        water came springing out the side of the wall, and I guess the same thing will happen to us all. we don't know how to explain what I mean,

I mean to say it's kind of hard to explain. now,

let them kill me.

let them kill me.
let them kill me.

let them kill me.

water came down through the cracks in the ceiling,

but this time the water had a different feeling. it's the sort of feeling that is hard to explain, so, let me put it to you in a different way. now,

let them kill me.
let them kill me.
let them kill me.
let them kill me.

you're the salesman. I'm the buyer.
you're the tractor. I am the tire.
I'm the glass. you're the water that fills me.
I hear them coming. now,

let them kill me.
let them kill me.
let them kill me.
let them kill me. now,

let them kill me. yeah!
let them kill me.

let them kill me.

let them kill me.
let them kill me.

<> The Hound Chronicles (1992)
     
 going to Spain, 


        it's heaven up here,
but it's heaven down there!
and you're gonna leave me.
now I don't care.

it's heaven outside,

but it's heaven indoors.
well, go on and leave me.

I don't care any more.

I hear the airplane coming!
I hear the airplane coming!
I hear the airplane coming, now,
it can't touch me.

I see you going up the little stair. go on and board the plane, I don't care. I,

I see you hold his hand.

I	see you wave good-bye. I don't know you anymore,

so I'm not going to cry, now,

I see the airplane coming!
I feel the airplane coming!
I hear the airplane coming, now,
it can't touch me.

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
     
 the bad doctor, 


        if you were anywhere near his door

you saw it swing open and you heard the moon roar

trying to yank herself right out of her orbit

the whole natural world,

painted red, just like a target

it was a cold dark day

with low clouds standing in the way and the stars jockeying for position

on the slow thick morning of the death-dealing physician

(oh yeah)

(oh yeah)

(oh yeah)

(oh yeah)

and you could feel his features in the air

a wide smile and perfect hair

he had complete control of the rising tides

and a medicine bag hanging at his side

it was a cold dark day

with low clouds standing in the way and the stars jockeying for position

in the flowing blue world of the death-dealing physician

and the rain came down like water from a faucet I saw him at the crossroads, but I never saw him cross it, one minute he was on this side, and the next he was be over on the other. so went his rounds, one sad patient after another.

36
 
it was a cold dark day

with low clouds standing in the way and the stars jockeying for position

in the crushed velvet world of the death-dealing physician

(oh yeah)

(oh yeah)

(oh yeah)

(oh yeah)




it was a cold dark day

with low clouds standing in the way and the stars jockeying for position

in the impossibly large office of the death-dealing physician

(oh yeah)

(oh yeah)

(oh yeah)

(oh yeah)

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
alpha double negative: going to catalina, 


        I hear you starting up again

I see you standing on the deck

I hear your voice start to carry

I see the veins throbbing in your neck

and I know what you're saying and I know what you're saying it for but I’m not listening I’m not listening anymore

and I see you come toward me

I see the sun climb down the sky

I hear your voice getting faster and louder

I see a stranger in your eyes

and I know what you're saying and I know what you're saying it for but I’m not listening
I’m not listening anymore

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
    
pure intentions, 


        you're a strong one, you're a lion

you're brave, death defyin'

you're in your car, crossing town.

and I can feel you, coming down.

you're so pretty, I could burst and I wonder, who's gonna talk first my muscles all shaking, and blood's turned to foam it's Tuesday, and you're coming home.
yeah!

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
the lady from Shanghai, 
        

the waves were beating

against the shore

the waves were beating

as if they hadn't before

the dock was soaking

the wood was wet

your hair blew madly

I can't forget.

we went down to the boat.

we went down to the boat.

yeah!

the rushing water

the pale sky

hey, that's a good way

to let the dock dry

you know what I mean

we were slaves

the word was lurching

the dark way

as we went down to the boat

we went down to the boat.

we went down to the boat.

we went down to the boat.

yeah!

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
pure love, 
        

hey, what's wrong with you? hey, what are you trying to do? 'cause if what you had in mind is what I think it is then it's not very kind

and it won't be necessary

it won't be necessary now

it won't be necessary

it won't be necessary now

hey, what are you doing, my love?

hey, didn't I just tell you that such a thing

would be over and above what's called for in this case

pull the ski mask away from your face

it won't be necessary

it won't be necessary now

it won't be necessary

it won't be necessary now

it won't be necessary

it won't be necessary now

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
the car song (outtake), 


        the highway's open and the sun is full and the vinyl upholstery heats up like wasted wool the hills roll past us, then they rear up again take a deep breath now and count to ten I reach across the stick shift and I pull you near the highway's open and it's hot in here, it's hot in here

your skin sends all the sunlight back to hell and you shine in the coming darkness and I guess it's just as well

that there's no one left, there's no one left at all and then the hills behind your eyes start burning like a solid wall of licking flames they burn red and clear

the highway's open and it's hot in here, it's hot in here

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
standard bitter love song #6, 


        I don't like what I’ve turned into

there's a hole in my chest in the spot that you wormed out

through

they say it's on the mend,

but it hurts me when I bend, yeah.

and I saw you down at Angie's place that rippling smile on your perfect face well it really doesn't suit you.

when I see it I want to shoot you, sorry.

and I don't like what you said to me.

I don't like what you said to me.

but I guess I’ll have to deal with it

let the bullet hit me and I just reel with it,

isn't that right?

isn't that right?

isn't that right?

isn't that right?

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
15-2 (outtake), 


        those may be the most beautiful shades of red I’ve ever seen those may be the most beautiful shades of red I’ve ever seen but don't be fooled

if the sun goes down us here tonight

it's not gonna be alright anymore

none of this has anything really to do with us, that's my belief as the desert sky throws the glowing neon into bold relief your mouth is open and your eyes are wide hold on because it's dark outside, yeah

the smell of roses comes thickly through the open window

now

the smell of roses comes thickly through the open window

now

and as the darkness closes in, our bodies draw the roses in and those may be the most beautiful shades of red I’ve ever seen

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
Chilean fire barrel (outtake), 


        smell of sulfur, cloven hoof

birds were gathering on the roof

faint voices, scratching sounds

if this keeps up, I may never come down

by the time I snapped out of it, there was nothing left by the time I snapped out of it, there was nothing left by the time I snapped out of it, you were long gone by the time I snapped out of it, you were long gone

spinning numbers, shepherd songs birds singing all the time, all wrong Aunt Margaret, Cotton-Eyed Joe

they swear they're my friends, but I don't think so

by the time I snapped out of it, there was nothing left by the time I snapped out of it, there was nothing left by the time I snapped out of it, you were long gone by the time I snapped out of it, you were long gone

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
    
  going to France (outtake), 


        you say it's too cold over there anyway

it's far too cold

and I’m going to France

and I’m taking you with me

wild berries, wild sheep you know you want to see them well I’m going to France and I’m taking you with me

we always said one day we were going there

well, I don't know about you

but I keep my promises

and I’m going to France

and I’m taking you with me

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
going to San Diego (outtake), 


        long rain, it must be June again warm air, and it's so warm down there I’m coming soon, open the blinds your friends all tell me that you've lost your mind I don't believe them


the seashore, I don't want to see it anymore

the bus runs smoothly

the back window's open and the burning air cools me

hold your breath

your friends all swear you're one step away from death

I don't believe them

mmmm, here it comes

my head is throbbing and my hands are numb

it's you

what was I thinking

what should I do

your eyes are open and it's more than I can take my friends all told me I was making a mistake I don't believe them

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
in the cane fields (outtake), 


        I tasted the wet sugar on your lips

and it brought me alive

songs blended unsurely

one another on the arms of the air we looked around the living room there was cool jazz on the stereo the sound was clean and clear

I was ready to absorb you into myself

my jaw was hanging open

I got so hungry and I felt so drunk I felt your muscles tighten and relax and tighten and relax and tighten and relax

and tighten

and then relax

I knew a Cuban guy who worked cutting cane when he was

young, can you imagine it

he said that the tension that it bred in his back was enough to

make you laugh

bending and rising sixteen hours a day

we looked around the living room

your sweating skin pressed on me and we were drowning

and I don't wanna hurt you anymore

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
malted milk (outtake), 
        

two weeks later

you ask me what did I do?

right after I got the great big brush off from you.

and I checked my pulse

and I caught my breath

and I, I guess you know what happens next.

I sat down and I drank my malted milk.

you, you say

you say I’m easily appeased.

but you, you don't know

the feeling that shoots through me with a tall glass of malted milk. cold as ice, smooth as silk.

I sit down and I try real hard to forget

that you, you and I

ever met.

yesterday,

you came over,

and you found me stretched out on the sofa. and you said you were gonna call a medic ‘cause I looked so pathetic, lying there,

smiling brightly,

staring at you.

malted milk in my hand, still as a statue.

I sat down and I drank my malted milk.

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
rockin' rockin' pet store (outtake), 


        one burning afternoon, under the waxing jurisdiction of the

harvest moon

we took a ride, we went far away

and I remember it as though it were yesterday

at the pet store

the stereo played songs we both knew and I reached my arm around to touch you I felt the sun burning into me and I knew we'd find the physic for my malady at the pet store


your hair caught the sunlight as you opened the door

and I’d never seen your hair looking quite that way before I heard the parakeets punctuate the moment with their shrieks and cries

I saw the reptile cages reflected in your blue eyes

their green bodies conspiring therein

to form a separate universe where it was no sin to want what I wanted right then and there in the pet store

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
that hippolytine feeling(outtake), 


        we sat together on the porch

as the sunset bled

and you playfully leveled your semi-automatic handgun

right at my head

and then God, in another stroke of his genius

he opened up the floodgates

and the bulls came out

and the bulls came out

we heard the heavy hooves beating on the earth

as the moment came near

I felt the chamber of your pistol kissing my jaw

I felt your red lips brushing my ear

and then God, convincing if not transparent in his motives

he opened up the floodgates

but the rivers were dry, 'cause it was late august

and the bulls came out

and the bulls came out

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
the doll song (outtake), 


        I had seven little dolls

in a bag

and I tell them my troubles

and the dolls say nag, nag, nag, nag

it's all you ever do

is that all you're capable of?

and I said to the little dolls

you have no compassion

baby I’m talking to inanimate objects over you

I’m talking to inanimate objects over you

I was reading the bible

I Corinthians 13

where Paul talks all about love but I don't know what he means because he says that love is kind that has not been my experience

so I set the bible on the kitchen table

and yelled at the bible until I was unable baby

I’m talking to inanimate objects over you I’m talking to inanimate objects over you yeah I’m talking to inanimate objects over you yeah I’m talking to inanimate objects over you

<> Songs for Petronius (1992),
      
the moon song (outtake), 


        dead quiet three hours into the best part of the day and I, I want to tell you that you look so pretty

but the words come out wrong and the rage gets in the way dead silence, you looked at me like you were looking into space

and in space, no one could hear you say good-bye down here I shouldn't have to read it on your face

that's not normal

that's not right

that's not very nice

no it isn't

the moon shining down on your body and you look so nice

and I want to tell you, but you don't want to hear it

and I know and you don't have to tell me twice

but once would be civil

the moon shining got into my brain, and I had so much to say

but there was dead quiet, and you were silent

three hours into the best part of the day

and that's not normal

that's not right

that's not very nice

no it isn't

and that's not normal

that's not right

that's not very nice

no it isn't

<> Transmissions to Horace (1993)
      
going to Cleveland 


        we both know you're leaving
you just don't want to say it yet
'cause you don't want to hurt my feelings
so you gnaw your little holes in the net

and you torture me with those big eyes
and you punish me with pity
but I’m going to Cleveland

you say you wanted to strike first because one of us was leaving that's what you say

but I’ve always been real fond of you
so I never would've treated you this way

and you torture me with those big eyes
and you punish me with pity
but I’m going to Cleveland

I hear the Cuyahoga calling, now I know what was I was born for and you say 'hey john where are you going?' but that's not my name anymore

and you torture me with those big eyes
and you punish me with pity
but I’m going to Cleveland

<> Transmissions to Horace (1993)
     
 early spring 


        the pictures that you paint
aren't as pretty as they once seemed to me
and the coffee's bitter because it's been boiling too long
and the jokes you tell
aren't as funny as they once seemed to me
and the songs you sing are just plain hackneyed

but the stars shine down on all God's children
and the sun sets on the good and on the evil

and I know you
and I know you

the throbbing flowers outside I get it and the paint peeling from the bathroom wall and the smile on your face is alive and the smile on your face is real pretty

and the sun shines down on all God's children
and the stars burn for the good and the evil
and I know you
and I know you

<> TTransmissions to Horace (1993)
      
historiography
        

there was rain
there was wind

there was spring coming in there was a feeling of approaching doom and I was happy to see you it was cold in your room you were warm and that's all I remember

and your arms were warm
and that's all I remember

later on near morning
we were talking about nothing
a little rain
a little wind
quiet cold cold air coming in

and you were warm
and that's all I remember
and your arms were warm
and that's all I remember
and your eyes were pretty

and that's all I remember
and your hands were soft
and that's all I remember

and the hall was well lit as I walked down it and that's all I remember and the rain was light and it felt soft on my face and that's all I remember

and the car was quiet inside
and that's all I remember
and it was dark when the sunlight was coming
and that's all I remember

<> Transmissions to Horace (1993)
      
No I Can't., 
        

you bought me some candy.
and you bought me some flowers.
and you bought me a sofa.
and you bought me a radio.

thank you for the candy.

thank you for the flowers.
thank you for the sofa.

thank you for the radio.

(now I have everything I need.) x4

you brought me a puppy.
and you brought me a lamp.
and you brought me some books.

and you brought me a filing cabinet.

thanks you for the puppy.
thank you for the lamp.
thanks for the books.

thanks for the filing cabinet
I don't know what I did without it.

(now I have everything I need.) x4

you came by. and you came in.
and you let the wind in.
it must be cold outside.

we looked out, through the sliding glass door.

but I’d forgotten what we were looking for.







59
 
thank you for coming by.
it's nice to see you once in a while.
thank you for the coat I forgot to mention.
I’ve been freezing in here.
I’ve been freezing in here.

(now I have everything I need.) x4

yeah!

<> Transmissions to Horace (1993)
      
alpha desperation march, 
        

I’m coming in.

try to stop me.

push furniture in front of the door. it only gives me something to push against. in the full heat of the summer's day, you're telling me to go away. but you owe me eight-thousand dollars and I can use it


I’m only getting stronger.

you may have noticed.

but a head full of memories propels me ever further and in the living room I don't see where you are, but the back door's locked, so you can't have gone far and eight-thousand dollars is a whole lot of money and I could use it.

could be that it's my imagination, but I think I hear you now.

so come out come out, wherever you are. olly-olly-olly-olly-olly-olly oxen free see I’m perfectly aware of where our love stands,

but the plain fact is that you owe me eight grand if it helps to jog your memory, I lent it to you on Tuesday, when we were drinking. ha! ha-ha-ha-uh-uh-ha! uh-ha! uh uh uh-ha! uh-ha! ha ha ha

<> Transmissions to Horace (1993)

going to Monaco, 


the sergeant drop to the ground

in the shadow of a low branch

they heard a branch crack to the left

then the sound of footsteps

two of the renegades carrying firewood , a third with a rifle

were walking towards them

closer and closer

the sea gobbles up the full sun

and I look at you and I know you're the one

the one I used to know something about

and I try to say what it was, but the words won't come out

and you ask me to hold you

that's the devils' work.

you show your palms and I see they're empty

and I’d check them twice if you'd let me but you wouldn't do that now would you? I didn't think so.

and you ask me to hold you

that's the devils' work.

we stand on the sand and we watch the world turn

and we stand on the sand and we watch the water burn and we stand on the sand six inches from one another

and the sands burn and blow and neither one of runs for cover

and you ask me to hold you

that's the devils' work.

and you ask me to hold you

that's the devils' work.

<> Transmissions to Horace (1993)
      
star dusting, 
        

toward the end of our first year in Las Vegas

you looked up from your little corner

and I saw that your face was getting a little brighter

and you asked me is it really getting warmer

or is it just me

and then you started mumbling unintelligibly

so what are you saying anyway?

I thought I heard bells ringing but then I remembered that I no longer knew what bells sounded like

I thought maybe we'd strike up a conversation

'till bad luck cruised by on his ten-speed bike

I got real cold

and I grabbed my coat

and I saw that the ringing was coming from your throat

what are you saying anyway?

<> Transmissions to Horace (1993)
      
teenage world, 
        

you bought me a rabbit to keep me company and I’m here in my car and the rabbit's here with me heading out highway one, respecting posted speed limits and I tried to figure this one out but I can't find any meaning

and I’m sick and tired of trying to figure out your gestures and I’m sick and tired of wondering what your presents mean I’m gonna take this rabbit into Malibu

and he'll chew on sour grass while I wolf down Dexedrine Dexedrine.

the wind comes through the open window and I button my

shirt

and the rabbit's riding shotgun my teeth hurt

you sent me a package marked live animals inside and the sun's coming up quickly above the rising tide

and I’m sick and tired of trying to figure out your gestures and I’m sick and tired of wondering what your presents mean I’m gonna take this rabbit into Malibu

and he'll chew on sour grass while I wolf down Dexedrine Dexedrine.

<> Transmissions to Horace (1993)
      
going to Santiago, 
        

big birds in the trees

cars locked and I’ve lost my keys crashing sounds of the waterfall and a statue of Jesus 200 feet tall

3000 miles from a port in California and 3 little feet from falling off the earth and the shadow of a mountain should cast a shadow on a and the snow underfoot is soft and yielding

la la la la la la la la la la

la la la la la la la la la la

la la la la

look at those birds

I’d say something about them but I’ve lost the words

they're laughing and they're watching me and the radiator's boiling for no reason wild cattle crossing as it strikes their fancy and a handful of money which does me no good and a pocketful of medicine to amuse myself

with a photograph of someone stapled to my shirt sleeve

la la la la la la la la la la

la la la la la la la la la la

la la la la

<> Transmissions to Horace (1993)
      
sail on., 
        

sail on down the road

'bout a half a mile or so

and I tried to make you stay,

but now you're going

it was plain to see that a small town boy like me

just wasn't your cup of tea that was wishful thinking I gave you my heart and I tried to make you happy you gave me nothing in return

you know it ain't so hard to say, 'would you please just go away?'

you come to comfort me

but I don't need your sympathy

and the way you look at me, well it's condescending.

I feel my stomach churn

and didn't you ever learn

not to tell someone something if you don't mean it I gave you my heart and I tried to make you happy you gave me nothing in return

you know it ain't so hard to say, 'would you please just go away?'

sail on.

sail on.

sail on.

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
pure milk, 
        

the moon's full, and the sky is bright, and so you and me are gonna get drunk tonight. we're gonna steal some tractors and head on into town, find the main strip and start mowing them down.

don't come to the window till you're sure it's me.

don't ignore the obvious. take a deep breath.

put your hand on the god damn radio.

put your hand on the god damn radio.

fields are full of spirits, but no one cares at all.

a light above you flickers when you hear me call.

and I'm shaking when I see you there cause I don't know what

it means.

but the ground is looking dry tonight and bursting near the

seams.

so don't come to the window till you're sure it's me.

don't ignore the obvious. take a deep breath.

put your hand on the god damn radio.

put your hand on the god damn radio, yeah.

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
ice blue, 
        

the sky was pale. the day was gloomy!

boy your eyes burned through me.

thought that I knew what colors were.

ha ha ha! ha ha ha!

thought that I knew what colors were,

before I saw you...

ice blue!

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
water song II, 
        

they'll be singing out loud when the water goes through the crowd. they'll be howling for you when the waves come crashing through.

I brought my friend. here he comes, splashing, gurgling for you. now the water runs through the streets unimpaired, crashing through.


they'll be saying your name,

every voice different, every word the same.

they'll be holding you up

too close to the sun,

but I will make them stop.

I brought my friend. here he comes,

splashing, gurgling for you.

and now the water runs through the streets unimpaired,

rushing through.

still singing, go stand in the light.

when my friend gets here he will set things right.

they'll be singing for one thing and they'll get this instead.

let them come and get me, let them strike me dead.

I brought my friend. here he comes, splashing, gurgling for you. now the water runs through the streets unimpaired, rushing through.

70
 
I brought my friend. here he comes,

splashing, gurgling for you.

and now the water runs through the streets unimpaired,

rushing through.

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
     
sun song, 


        the sun was a yellow eye in a blue face

when you came over to my place

and you said how things looked dead around here. well that's alright if things look dead around here,

cause it's only a little while longer that things are gonna look dead around here.

and there are certain gardening skills that you don't have yet. and there are certain gardening skills that you'll never learn. how to leave alone what's doing fine, how to mulch what's dying on the vine.

there are certain gardening secrets you don't know.

you said the soil looked nitrogen poor, well, don't you worry about the soil looking nitrogen poor. I think that's my problem if the soil is nitrogen poor. but for myself it looks kind of nitrogen rich.

and there are certain gardening secrets you don't have yet. and there are certain gardening skills that you'll never learn. how to leave alone what's doing fine, how to mulch what's dying on the vine.

there are certain gardening secrets you don't know.

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
     
 going to Japan, 


        there's a north wind coming in and there's a west wind coming in and there's an east wind coming in

and there's a strong wind blowing in from the south

and there's a sweet metallic taste in my mouth.

there's a dead feeling lingering over the wind.

and there's a one-way ticket in my hot little hand and I'm kissing your eyelids and I'm going to japan.

there's life and liberty on my tongue and there's a dead silence where the wind-chimes hung and on some mountain somewhere in the world it's snowing but here in the fields there's not a thing growing. maybe next year, you know, there is a way of knowing. there's wind coming in from all directions. there's a coat on my shoulders--midnight connections.

and I'm kissing you and leaving you behind in the sand.

I'm holding you a while then I'm going to japan.

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
are you cleaning off the stone?, 
        

I'd like to begin by saying that I saw you coming,

but that would be a lie.

I'd like to say that I can hear your voice,

but I couldn't mean 'hear' in the accepted sense of the word.

are you cleaning off the stone?

that's a sweet thing to do.

are you cleaning off the stone?

that's sweet of you.

they tell me your hair's gotten much, much longer.

I bet it looks nice.

they tell me your eyes are the same color as they always were.

that kind of information just floors me.

are you cleaning off the stone?

that's a sweet thing to do.

are you cleaning off the stone?

that's sweet of you.

are you cleaning off the stone?

that's a sweet thing to do.

are you cleaning off the stone?

that's sweet of you.

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
the hot garden stomp, 
        

the room was unbearably hot.

flowering plant that hung from the radiator pipe. it was dripping sweat from its rapidly fading petals. and to the humming world in which I was living,

a crescendoing stepping sound came in. heard you stepping over three weeks' worth of newspapers piled up outside the door.

I hear you knocking.

come in.

turn on the radio.

turn up the volume.

you sat down in the same place where you used to sit.

it brought back a memory or two.

I may not know much anymore, but I remember you.

you were quiet for a while, and that was nice. then you came along with your questions, always questions.

I don't have any answers to those particular questions.

I hear you talking.

shut up!

turn on the radio.

turn up the volume.

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
love hymn to Aphrodite, 
        

the sunset gets a little longer every night

and it's no good but I feel alright.

the sky turns orange and the colors start swirling.

you float downstairs, your body spinning

in perfect circles.

it's the 18th of July, what are you doing?

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
beach house, 
        

I get letters telling me since I moved away

you've taken to hanging out on that rock about a mile from

shore

given what I know about that rock mainly that it's populated

by seals

I strongly suggest to you that you not hang out there

anymore

'cause the seal is a wily and a vicious creature

and the seal will bite you if you give him half a chance

yeah the seal has a mind set on violence and the seal is the sworn enemy of man

now when I say that the seal is vicious I use the term

advisedly

according to Webster’s 9th new collegiate definition 4b.

which states that vicious means marked by ferocity and offers as a synonym...savage

'cause the seal is a vicious and a wily creature and the seal has a mind full of evil designs and the seal will harm you and laugh about it yeah the seal is not a creature you want to toy with yeah the seal is not a creature you want to toy with

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
hello there Howard, 
        

the guy on my right is new

and he says he feels kinda sad and his hands are cold

and he refuses the dice

so I pick 'em up myself.

I let 'em roll.

and the little white spots gleam like stars

and the guy on my right gets a look at the stickman

and he begins to sense where it is that we are

and the table's hot

but so am I

and I grab the bones and I let 'em fly.

so come 2 come 3 come 4 come 5 come 6 come 7 come 9

it doesn't matter to me now

'cause I've got all kinds of time.

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
going to Norwalk, 
        

at one thirty on a Thursday night

I saw a pair of raccoons heading to the gutter

they stopped at the storm drain

their tails hung down and out of sight

they looked up at me

their eyes were shining

I thought of you

and I can't stand the way the moon expands and fills out the corners of your California sky I can't stand it


the old buildings stood tall against the sky

the windows had old sheets hanging over them doubling as

curtains

and the silhouettes moving in the bright lights behind the

curtains

looked like you

I stopped moving momentarily

the world will

stand still on nights like these

without any kind of warning

and I can't stand it.

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
fresh cherries in Trinidad, 
        

when I woke up on Saturday and you came in

you brought the sunlight in

I felt sleep slipping away from me I feel things occasionally like this fresh cherries

hanging from your fingers

when the water on the window let the sunlight through and I got a good look at you standing above me bright and tall there are no words for it

there are no words at all

I	saw

fresh cherries

hanging from your fingers

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
feed this end, 
        

ok

come here you

what?

I want you to be my love slave

yes master oh you

who me?

it goes both ways

it does?

mmm yeah.

I'm gonna be your love slave?

uh-huh

stood near the cage of the prize-fighting cock

the sun cut through the clouds but the air pressure dropped

and I touched your hair for the very first time

I have that moment with me now

it's all mine

and you

showed me a thing or two about power in its purest form

a few minutes later you went back inside

and I stood near the clothesline where strips of beef dried

hanging in the noon-day sun

flies were buzzing nearby

and then your face in the window caught my eye

and you

showed me a thing or two about power in its purest form






81
 
things don't look much different now from where I stand

looking for you with camera in hand

someone's gone away

and someone's gotten taller

but the world stopped turning and the universe is much

smaller

since you

showed me a thing or two about power in its purest form

yeah you

showed me a thing or two about power in its purest form

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
15-1, 
        

if I had a car and you were riding in it

I'd show you what my car could do

I head east down highway fifteen and see the starlight shower over you

gas fumes rising from the blacktop cheap hotels with flashing signs just an old sweet song made new and oozing through the pines

if I had thirty dollars and I could make time stop and the moon was high up above and moon beams fell like sweet cream and the night air would carry our dark dreams

gas fumes off the highway

neon flashing everywhere

just an old sweet song made new by your body and desert flowers blooming in the thick night air

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
thanks for the dress, 
        


...he'll still be like

...it's so good. she's

...tell you about personal testimony

...please keep feeding us

the young sun

the old story forming

hasn't been the same

since dad came by this morning did you see the way mom's looking at us mark it well

your eyes meet mine

when we hear her call

the strange birds in the yard

are perched above the symbols that she painted on the garden

wall

did you see the way mom's looking at us did you see the way mom's looking at us don't say anything

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
tell me on a Sunday, 
        

don't write a letter

when you want to leave

don't call me at three a.m. from your friend's apartment

I'd like to choose

how I hear the news

take me to a park that's covered with trees

tell me on a Sunday please

let me down easy no big song and dance

no long faces no long looks just deep conversation

I know the way

I want to spend that day

take me to the zoo

with big chimpanzees

tell me on a Sunday please

don't want to know who's to blame

won't help knowing

I don't want to fight day and night it's bad enough that you're going don't leave in silence - no words at all don't get mad and slam the door it's no way to end this

I know how I

want you to say goodbye

by the circus tent with a big trapeze

tell me on a Sunday please

85
 
I don't want to fight day and night it's bad enough that you're going don't leave in silence - no words at all don't get mad and slam the door it's no way to end this

I know how I

want you to say goodbye

don't run off in the pouring rain don't call me as they call your plane take the hurt out of all the pain

take me to a park that's covered with trees

tell me on a Sunday please

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
let the dogs come out (outtake), 
        

new rivers forming on the surface of the world

I mean to say that it's raining

Otis Redding tried to tell me there'd be days like this

but I didn't believe him

yeah Otis Redding talked about this kind of thing

when I’m only semi-conscious and I hear the phone ring

let the dogs come out

I’m ready now

let the dogs come out

I’m ready now

and I remember where I was the last time that it rained like

this

and I remember where I was the last time it was raining this

hard

and do you remember where I was

and I know that you remember where we were last time it

rained like this

let the dogs come out

I’m ready now

let the dogs come out

I’m ready now

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
standard bitter love song #1 (outtake), 
        

I’m not going to say what I came over to say to you

but you were thinking along the same lines and you let the words come ringing through

I wouldn't've said that to you I wouldn't say it if they paid me to you got no manners you got no manners at all you got no manners

you got no manners

you got no manners at all

you got no manners

I’m going to try real hard

but I, I can't believe that you're really gonna do it it's like one of those Chinese kites flying in the wind

and then some kid with a shotgun sends a bullet through it

and I, I came here to say it

but I’ve done that before

but would never have told you that I don't love you anymore

you got no manners

you got no manners at all

you got no manners

you got no manners

you got no manners at all

you got no manners

<> Hot Garden Stomp (1993)
      
alpha compunction (outtake), 
        

you will not call my memory into question you will not question my memory see there was you and me up on a hilltop by ourselves and then the red clouds dispersing above me I should have killed myself

when I found out how beautiful you are but everyone makes mistakes sometimes

as the afternoon sky opened up its mouth

and the air cooled down one or two degrees

I felt the world within me screaming to come out and then I looked up at you and your hair spilled down over me


I felt you breathing on me and I heard your voice your eyes were twin bonfires and your lips were moist I should have killed myself

when I found out how beautiful you are but everyone makes mistakes sometimes

<> Chile de árbol (1993),
      
Night of the Mules, 
        

the street lights gave off a yellow glow

on the holly and the mistletoe

you could feel the rain, coming down. and quiet starlight, hardened the ground. till the street shone like a diamond

look sister, here comes a new genuine disaster.

clip-clop up the street,

see the rain, feel the sleet, yeah.

the cold air, unpredictable weather, ten or twenty of us, huddled together, hearing the braying, growing louder snowflakes falling fine white powder.

here come, the new kings the hooves clack and the metal sings clip-clop up the street see the rain, feel the sleet, yeah.

<> Chile de árbol (1993),
      
Going to Malibu, 
       

 when we meet on neutral ground, I can't believe how good you look.

and the thoughts that race around my mind,

fill a long unreadable book and

I can hear the waves,

I can sense the continent eroding,

you say you know why I called you here,

but you couldn't have any way of knowing, so

that's not true.

that's a mean thing to say.

that's a damnable lie.

that's a damnable lie.

looking at you, and I don't know

what it is I see

but I know you're changing, almost indetectably.

and I see a ship off the shore

and I imagine it sinking.

and you smile and you say that you know

what it is that I’m thinking.

that's not true.

that's a rotten thing to say.

that's a damnable lie.

that's a damnable lie.

<> Chile de árbol (1993),
      
Billy the Kid's Dream of the Magic Shoes, 


        hang me out to dry.

they're gonna hang me out to dry.

I don't really care.

I don't really care.

I got special shoes.

I got special shoes.

they're gonna fill me full of holes.

they're gonna fill me full of holes.

I don't give a rat's ass.

I don't give a rat's ass you rat bastards.

I got special shoes on.

I got special shoes on.

yeah.

<> Chile de árbol (1993),
     
 Fresh Berries For You, 
        

the world's overrun with new shades of green, and the dandelions come up like recurring dreams and the swallows give up their fragile little songs in the new world

and I know you're only watching out for yourself,

and I know I’m not to take it real personal-like

and I know you only want what's best for everybody.

I know you only want what's best for everybody.

but you better be nice, or the Easter bunny's gonna strike your name out of the little red book with the silver hinges on it that he carries.

they've implemented a new system on the

exhaust lines of the buses

and now the air is fresh and sweet and clean when they pass

by.

and the bright sun shines down on our fair city,

and young cats play on people's front lawns.

and the time is coming.

and the time is coming.

and I can feel the time coming.

and I know that you can feel the time coming, yourself.







95
 
and the Easter bunny's coming, and god knows I’d hate for you to miss it. and it's gonna be so nice. when the Easter bunny comes. and it's gonna be so nice. when the Easter bunny comes. and it's gonna be so nice. when the Easter bunny comes. and it's gonna be so nice. when the Easter bunny comes.

<> Chile de árbol (1993),
      
Alphabetizing, 
        

the summer crawled by indetectably.

and then I saw you looking down to me.

and your earrings sparkled in the noon-day sun, and though it's very true that I love everyone, with every ounce of energy left in me, I love you especially because

I saw you, coming through the screen door on the second floor, up on the balcony.

it was hard to even see you at all,

because the air was thick with alcohol

so I kept on rubbing my eyes,

for all the good it did me,

for all the immeasurable good it did me,

let the years come and take away my memory,

I will not forget the shock that ran through me when,

I saw you, coming through the screen door on the second floor, up on the balcony.

<> Talking the Dative (1994),
      
Orange Ball of Peace, 
        

they wanted me to be a lawyer. they wanted me to work in a machine shop. they wanted me to be a designer, but I came out on top. I'm a fire-man.

I'm a fire-man.

stand and watch the smoke.

see the flames rise to the sky.

I stand and watch the flames climb higher.

I feel the smoke get in my eyes.

I'm a fire-man.

I'm a fire-man.

<> Talking the Dative (1994),
      
Standard Bitter Love Song #8, 


        I went down to Lloyd center looking for you.

but a mouth full of anger blocked my view.

he took your hand there in the skating the rink.

god will give him blood to drink.

saw the two of you leaving.

I didn't want to follow behind.

but I could see the rest of your evening,

burning in my mind.

the sky's black. the moon's pink.

god will give him blood to drink.

I looked over the railing. ice was white

on the northeast side where I saw you and your boyfriend

on a Friday night.

I went mining for gold. I struck pure, fresh zinc.

god, god will give him blood to drink.

hey, hey, hey.

<> Talking the Dative (1994),
      Chino Love Song 1979, 
        and the may sun shone down on California.

and the strawberries grew fat and full and thick and red and as big as your fist and the traffic on riverside drive was thin but by no means non-existent.

when I saw you against the soda machine.

I saw you leaning there.

and your hand in the basket

was nimble-fingered, and red finger-nailed

and it made me remember the sunflower that popped-up

outside my window one

morning in Norwalk

it was bright yellow and it was real inviting and I almost forgot that it was an intruder

and I saw you against the soda machine.

I saw you leaning there.

I saw you against the soda machine.

I saw you leaning there.

<> Talking the Dative (1994),
      Wrong!, 
        you know. you know.

you see what's going on with me.

but you don't do anything.

you don't do anything.

you don't do anything.

you feel. you feel.

and you hear.

the time's near.

but you don't do anything.

you don't do anything.

you don't do anything.

you don't do anything.

2, 3, 4.

<> Talking the Dative (1994),
      
Going to Jamaica, 


        I saw the last of the brightly colored birds

check out of Maine for the other world.

and you ask me how much longer we have to stay here.

but I'm not at liberty to say.

and what flowers there were around Kingston are blue.

I ripped them up from the dry soil and draped them over you.

we saw the last of the bright colored birds coming home.

I saw you address them through your megaphone.

and you asked me when we were leaving.

well, it's any day now.

and what flowers there were around trenchtown were red.

I stole them from the hands of children.

I braided them around your head.

<> Talking the Dative (1994),
      Alpha Gelida, 
        popcorn was snapping in the hot oil on the kitchen stove

and the sky through the kitchen window was cold and poised

and threatening.

heard your voice come lilting through the wall.

I heard your voice come sailing from the other room.

let the young lions come.

let me break their jaws.

let the young lions come out.

let me break their jaws with my bare fingers.

coffee was dripping through the paper filter cone.

the hip scent of it nearly knocked me out.

I heard your voice come lilting through the back of the

refrigerator.

I heard your voice come breaking through the wall.

let the young lions come out.

let me talk them out of it.

let the young lions come.

let me break their jaws with my bare fingers.

<> Yam, the King of Crops (1994),
     
 Seed Song, 
      

  the rain didn't come for one calendar year

so when the man with the sunflower seeds in his hand came

here

we sent him away, we sent him away

the rain didn't come for twelve months more

so when the man with the seed catalogs darkened our door

we sent him away

we sent him away

we sent him away

we sent him away

and I know you're waiting for the ironic ending

and I know you're waiting for the punchline

and I know you're waiting for the rain to come by

so am I

so am I

so am I

so am I

<> Yam, the King of Crops (1994),
      
Quetzalcoatl Comes Through, 


        he came spitting fire

on a day like no other

tried to hold you near to me

I heard him passing over

he made a banquet for the stray dogs of the air

he put our love in clear perspective

blue, red and green plumage trailing behind him now swaddling the sky in its aftermath the last day coming down he made a banquet for the stray dogs of the air he put our love in clear perspective rising, rising, rising, rising

<> Yam, the King of Crops (1994),
      
Omega Blaster, 


        you've come back from Yosemite you brought an aromatic cedar bookmark for me and a brand new stuffed bear

it's summertime, you've cut your hair and I am leaving you, and I am sorry

you come in through the back door

why're you coming in like that, smiling for?

I’ve got something I need to tell you I can feel your smile burning through and I am leaving you, and I am sorry

<> Yam, the King of Crops (1994),
      Coco-Yam Song, 
        a neighboring clan went on the attack and stole all the giant coco-yams from the barn out back I will make them pay for taking my yams away

I carved out little figurines of thieves burned a palmful of red dust from the medicine bag broke a kola nut in half, I hate half of it myself sat back and watched the evening drag I will make them regret that they haven't brought my yams back yet

<> Yam, the King of Crops (1994),
      
Alagemo, 


        the new rose floating on water in the old plain bowl

the white clouds on night sky

the way they just roll on by made me think of you

and the religious cult of flesh disillusion you've committed

yourself to

alagemo, alagemo

the night crawlers poking their little slimy heads through the

dirt

made me think of you again

made me think of you a third time I don't know where you've gone but I hear your voice droning on alagemo, alagemo

<> Yam, the King of Crops (1994),

      Two Thousand Seasons, 


        how have we come to be mere mirrors to annihilation?

whom do we aspire to reflect our people's death? for whose entertainment shall we sing our agony? one hopes that the destroyers aspiring to extinguish us will suffer conciliatory remorse at the sight of their own fantastic success

the last imbecile that dreams such dreams is dead

killed by the saviors of his dreams

how have we come to be mere mirrors to annihilation?

<> Yam, the King of Crops (1994),
      
Chinese Rifle Song, 


        lay out on the patio, dreaming

lay out on the patio, dreaming

and the Chinese rifles sounded in the evening air

I heard them popping off everywhere

I lay out on the patio, on the chaise lounge

I lay out on the patio, and I let my hand rest against the hot

redwood frame

and the Chinese rifles sounded again

could not stomach their acumen

<> Yam, the King of Crops (1994),
      
Yam, the king of crops, 


        felt sick, felt good

the heat burns, old wood

muscles in my arms pump like machines the Jericho palm tree is plush and green

bright sun, the new day

I felt sick in a good way

felt the fever climb when you came down

all the way across town

and you brought me a plate of sweet potatoes

sun fading overhead

the sunset, bright red

your green eyes, your smooth walk fresh tomato, celery stalk, you cook pot of pari basmati rice

I felt good, you looked nice

you stood like Galatea, over me

fried garlic, kimchi

and you brought me a plate of sweet potatoes

<> Beautiful Rat Sunset (1994),
      
Itzcuintli-Totzli Days, 


        I hear the pads beat, loud as drums.

I know he's coming. let him come.

let the big big rabbit come out.

let the big big rabbit come down.

let him cast his shadow on the bright face of our little house.

let him dance through the garden.

let him come.

it's getting darker, as the sky grows colder and I feel your hand on my naked shoulder.

praise god I know you're with me. I know you're here. I can feel you breathing. I know you're near me. ok

let the big big rabbit come out.

let the big big rabbit come down.

let him cast his shadow on the bright face of our little house.

let him dance through the garden.

let him come.

<> Beautiful Rat Sunset (1994),
      New Star Song, 
        I hung pictures of you from every lamp post in town as the humidity climbed into numbers I don't care to repeat the air was heavy and the sky was alive and the pacific starlight train wasn't due in till 11.45

I thought about how cold you must be

I thought about things I thought that I’d soon be forgetting I thought of you up in Canada as the lightning storm lit up all downtown Redding

there were teenagers in mini-trucks coming around every

corner

you can taste the adrenaline, coming out through their skin

I came to the well-lit doorway of a sheet music store saw my face in the glass. sat down in the doorway and I settled in.

I thought about how cold you must be

I thought about things I thought that I’d soon be forgetting I thought of you up in Canada as the lightning storm lit up all downtown Redding

<> Beautiful Rat Sunset (1994),
      
Song for Cleomenes, 


        73 years before the advent of the Christian era, as Rome was taking over any land within reach, setting up proxy governments in the conquered lands, there lived one such man given just such a job. Gaius verres. go.

a praetor held a position which operated on trust.

he was to govern instead of the emperor himself.

it was an easy easy privilege to abuse.

and verres did so.

he was the governor of Agrigento which we now know as Sicily.

and he stole everything that wasn't nailed down, took improper advantage of other men's wives. the list goes on. trust me. cicero wrote it all down.

at Syracuse verres welcomed a band of pirates. they all drank and danced and sang on the shore, and when the husband of one of verres's paramours came bringing a fleet of boats with him, verius, clever, if diabolical, gave him a job.

and enlisted the pirates to burn the whole fleet down.

the boats burned in the Sicilian harbor the flames rose hundreds of feet into the air we stood on the shore watching them burn we stood on the shore, we heard the old songs. hey!

<> Beautiful Rat Sunset (1994),
      
Sendero Cuminoso Verdado, 
        

as they age, men encounter the 6th fear - loss of virility. just look him straight in the eye, invade his space by standing a little closer than normal...

by 8.30 am the sun was so hot, that it made me remember. I pulled on the jacket with the bars on the pockets and I stood in front of the window and the skin on my face has a memory all its own and it drinks in the pure heat, real slow.

I remember lima. I remember the good life.

I remember lima. I remember the good life.

the window is ten feet high and three feet wide

sun beams bounce off the dark water

and come through the clear glass, magnified.

standing here in the house on pacific coast highway

given to me by a friend whose name is no longer important

my conscience is clean.

and the feeling of power like thick red wine

and it's oh-nine-oh-five military time

I remember lima. I remember the good life.

I remember lima. I remember the good life.

<> Beautiful Rat Sunset (1994),
      
Song for Mark and Joel, 
        

I opened up the window and the cold air came in. and I saw a bird on a branch outside that I had never seen before. he looked a robin, but it had an upside down v-shaped red mark on its chest.

and I had a special feeling in my mind and I had a special feeling in my mind I had a certain glint in my eye, on the morning trouble came by.

there was a map of the American-Midwest on one wall. and there was a map of the American-West on another wall. and there was a map of Rome on the third wall. and there were maps in all directions. I was looking at them pondering connections when trouble came by.


then I stuck my head out the window.

I had to stick my head out the window.

it was much colder than I’d imagined it would be.

it was much much colder than I’d imagined it would be.

it was much much colder.

it was much much colder and trouble came by.

<> Beautiful Rat Sunset,
      Going to Maryland, 
        the water's real cool and the water's real sweet here's hoping that no points repeat because I bet against the chances that you'd ever be mine laid everything down on the don't pass line

and it's a stupid trick of fortune anyway but the lights are bright tonight and your eyes shine tonight on Chesapeake bay

walk through the water and our feet get wet and on the dark ended water I see your silhouette 5 dollars says that it's gone in a minute 5 dollars says that your heart goes with it

and it's a stupid trick of fortune anyway but the lights are bright tonight and your eyes shine tonight on Chesapeake bay

<> Beautiful Rat Sunset (1994),
      
Seeing Daylight, 
        

two cans clear chicken broth

two white onions

one bulb garlic

boil, boil.

boil, boil.

and the screams of delight from the pool outside

the splashing sounds

the coffee heating up on the stove

the sky outside. the color of pure fresh milk.

boil, boil.

boil, boil.

and the phone ringing, and me picking it up and watching myself do so in the quiet room

in the June evening and your voice on the other end and the impossibility of your voice on the other end and the impossible echo. inside.

boil, boil.

boil, boil.

<> Beautiful Rat Sunset (1994),
      Resonant Hell World, 
        
sometimes you're a starling sometimes you're a kite you're a hyena from early to mid afternoon you're a stray dog at night


it's the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen

how you will not act like a human being

when you put on your special coat

and you made your special lunge for my throat

between you and me,

it was, it was, really exciting

it's the most alarming thing I’ve ever seen how you will not act like a human being it's the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen how you refuse to act like a human being

in the starlight.

in the starlight.

in the starlight.

in the starlight.

in the starlight.

in the starlight.

in the starlight.

in the starlight.

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      Alpha Incipiens, 
        the morning comes to a stuttering halt the cool breeze that blows is somebody's fault the summer heat tries to burn through and I look over to warn you but something's happening

the morning glories climb the wall

and you speak in a slow drawl

I’m trying to piece together what you're saying but the birds are screeching, the hounds are baying

I don't remember there being any hounds around here

we lean back and we clink our glasses raise the drinks to our thirsty mouths,
and thick as molasses ice cold vodka eases in as the low pressure system brings the breezes in and they sashay and pirouette above you the only thing I know is that I love you

and I’m holding on,

yeah

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Azo Tle Nelli in Tlaticpac?, 
        

I was sitting in the street when the news came my way

I was sitting in the street when the news came my way

good news

good news

good news

good news

I was sitting in the street when the messenger came by I was sitting in the street when the messenger came my way good news, good news like a rare blood disorder good news

good news

I was sitting in the street

I don't believe I’ve made it clear what exactly I mean by that

I was sitting in the middle of the street

dust made its way into my legs even though my shirt was

tucked in

and I saw the colors forming in the west

saw the bright feathers reflected in the sky, now

good news

good news

good news

good news

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Alpha Sun Hat, 


        you say again that nothing's wrong

I’d really like to play along

your ruby red mouth is full and moist

I’d like to give in to your oboe reed voice

but as sure as those are buzzards in the guava tree you're looking real funny at me

1 2 3 4,

that's not music you hear, that's the devil

that's not the sun up in the sky, it's a human heart

if you're planning your escape, you know I’m all for you

as I watch the sun come up again over Tallahassee, Florida

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
The Black Ice Cream Song, 


        and the heat came down

and the heat came down

I knew I was living in a long, long dream

when you fed me the black ice cream

and the heat rose up

and the heat rose up

I heard the loud loud buzzing of our son's go-kart and the ice cream was blacker than the devil's heart it was august the 19th, 1957

I fixed my eyes on you, fixed my eyes on you

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Sinaloan Milk Snake Song, 


        sun melts everything down, and the hills are reduced to

nothing

the whole house shakes, and you can see that the coach is

coming

you lean down and you pick up the small soft eggs in the dust

outside my door

I hold them in my hands, they are warm and the air is

warming up now

I’ve got a message for you, if I could only remember

I’ve got a message for you, but you're gonna have to come and

get it

la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la

ever since I came here, all I could think about is water last night they brought the fat lamb in from the fold but I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it

I remember California, I remember Malibu I remember the states and the names of the cities but I don't remember you


and I’ve got a message for you, if I could only remember

I’ve got a message for you, but you're gonna have to come and

get it

I’ve got a message for you, I’ve got a message for you, 2 3 4

la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
We Have Seen the Enemy, 


        everything I’ve told you was true so imagine my surprise when I blink my eyes and realize that I’ve been talking to you and I’ve told you everything

even the parts I’d meant to leave out and I shake my hair, and I look about

and the wild dogs are hungry

and the wild dogs howl

and the wild dogs in the mountains to the north of us

come down

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
    
  Standard Bitter Love Song #7, 


        you smile at me in total defiance of all decency you've got it down to a science, that innocent look you've got it practiced real good

but I know you'd kill me if you could stand the sight of blood

if I’d been a fly on the wall a little earlier

if I’d been one of the innumerable flies in this room

if I’d been a fly on the wall a little earlier

it would've been real different around here

you try to speak but the buzzing's too loud and it's hard to make you loud through the dense black cloud that surrounds us both, that's just as well you call them up, let the whole house go to hell

if I’d been one of these flies

I would've lodged myself firmly underneath your eyelid

if I’d been one of these flies a little earlier it would've been real different around here

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Quetzalcoatl Eats Plums, 


        I meant to leave the house this morning

and begin making my way toward where you are

I meant to leave the house this morning I made it halfway across the front yard

but the plum tree hung heavy in my head and the plum tree hung heavy in my heart and the plum tree hung heavy over me

so I tore off to the phone

to call you and tell you something, but I couldn't remember

what

because through the clean, clean windows

saw the plum tree's leaves, as red as fresh blood

and the plum tree hung heavy in my head and the plum tree hung heavy in my heart and the plum tree hung heavy over me

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Orange Ball of Love, 

        
when I catch sight of your face

and the late light falling on it

I feel scared and I scope the area out for a good place to hide

when I feel the way your fingers

wiggle in my palm

I feel warm and I feel good inside

and I know that you're wearing a wire but as the sun becomes a blazing orange ball of fire I lose interest in this and other such inconsequential questions

when you kick off your shoes

and I see the wet grass give way underneath your feet and the sunset rears up once more to its burial ground well, you look so sweet

and I know you'll be turning me in

but I also know your real name's not Amy Lynn and as the orange globe rears up to swallow us, too,
I see you look at me and figure out what I know about you

well, I’m not telling

I’m not telling you anything

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Orange Ball of Hate, 
        

when I hear the screeching weather vane in the wild wind and the pissing rain I know that one of us, I’m not saying who, has got rocks in her head the rain comes through the open window but you don't think so I sure do love you

I sure do love you

when I notice that the radio is broken

I see you standing there in the doorway soaking

the water drizzles off of you down to the floor

and I say that I don't want to live in New England anymore some flower petals stick to your skin I grab hold of your hip, and I pull you in

when the building establishes control

when the thunder from the north begins to roll down our way

I know I’ve been right all along

and you start singing that stupid children's song

you think I don't know it

but I just don't feel like singing it

sure do love you

I sure do love you

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Bad Priestess, 
        

when I see you in your new blue jeans

I know you're lying, and I know what it means when I see you take your place among the poor I know you're a fraud for sure bad priestess, bad priestess

so the sunlight plays its games along your eyes and it has the same effect on a thousand other guys and I’d be lying if I said I didn't feel the pull, too

but the sunlight makes me strong and I know about you bad priestess

bad priestess, on a Thursday as the sun goes down bad priestess, with a super-special eyelash trick bad priestess, bad priestess

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Going to Bristol, 
        

I looked you up and down

I liked everything I saw

from the fragile outline of your hips

to the trembling movements in your jaw

but when the coffee cup shattered on the kitchen floor

you said that you couldn't take it anymore

I knew you were leaving

I knew you were going to Bristol

I watched you pack your bags

saw you head up to the door

but when the key broke off in the deadbolt lock

said that you couldn't take it anymore

that was the second time you said that in one day

why don't you just sit still

it's going to be okay

going to Bristol

going to Bristol

going to Bristol

going to Bristol

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Young Caesar 2000, 
        

when I was twelve years old, they put me on the throne

when I was twelve years old, they made me king

from the ocean south of here to the northern hemisphere, they

gave me everything

now I’m thirteen, and no one takes me seriously

now I’m thirteen, and they're trying to take away control

I don't know how stupid you all think I am

but as sure as flowers grow along the western wall, some

heads are going to roll

yeah

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Going to Lebanon, 
        

saw your arms hanging at your side nowhere to run to, baby, nowhere to hide saw you moving real slow nowhere to run to, nowhere to go I heard the wind blow I saw your sash come untied blue water, white sky


up in the cedars, we were too far away for the radio to tell us the time of day but there was moisture in the air I heard the city call

they can go on burning

to hell with them all

your liquid movements

the water rushing by

blue water, white sky

world's surface was as smooth as glass

and they saw the hour coming and they didn't let it pass

I heard you say my name twice through your teeth I saw you coming down to me, I was underneath it's been coming for some time you close your eyes

blue water, white sky

I heard the wind blow

I saw your sash come untied

blue water, white sky

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Grendel's Mother, 
        

the cave mouth shines

by pure force of will

I look down on the world

from the top of this lonesome hill and you can run, and run some more from here all the way to Singapore but I will carry you home in my teeth

in the great hall you drink red wine you chew meat off the bone I beat down the new path to the castle I come naked and alone I laid my son on the bier, I burned the wreath

fire overhead, water underneath you can stand up or you can run

you and I both know what you've done and I will carry you home I will carry you home I will carry you home in my teeth

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Song for Tura Satana, 


        doll squad's at the drive-in

it's 1973

the fruit is full and fat this year on the orange trees

which grow in clusters

the city sixty miles away

as the sunset tries desperately to break through the gray and the stardust came down, royal blue as the San Bernardino sky showered over you

coming home early is always a mistake but when you see that woman on the sofa something in you breaks

you've got a celluloid tendency to flare out and blaze and the report sounds once like a failed hymn of praise and the stardust came down, royal blue

as the san Bernardino sky showered over you

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
     
 Alpha In Tauris, 


        my hand brushes against the lock of hair that hangs down

past your ear to your jaw

past your ear to your jaw

it's real neat, the moment's sweet but it's all wrong

and we're pictures of decency when we wave goodbye outside we're pictures of decency when we wave goodbye outside yeah, I’m the model of composure out there but you oughta see me shaking later on

my brain gets flooded six hours later

my brain gets flooded over six hours later

rivers run with pictures of you as I stare up at the blood red

moon

lying out front on the lawn, hey

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Going to Georgia, 
        

the most remarkable thing about coming home to you is the feeling of being in motion again it's the most extraordinary thing in the world I have two big hands and a heart pumping blood and a 1967 colt .45 with a busted safety catch the world shines as I cross the Macon county line going to Georgia


the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway

is that it's you

and that you're standing in the doorway

and you smile as you ease the gun from my hand and I’m

frozen with joy right where I stand

the world throws its light underneath your hair

forty miles from Atlanta, this is nowhere

going to Georgia

the world shines as I cross the Macon county line

going to Georgia

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Quetzalcoatl is Born, 
        

he touched me and suddenly...

it's a cold night in Sonora and the stars are out in full force it's a moment the world has been waiting for when you set the world back on course into the fire you go

into the fire you go

it's a strange gathering around you

and the lord of the snails is born

five minutes before you take on divinity

you hear the crackling, well you hear the snapping corn

into the fire you go

into the fire you go

into the fire you go

into the fire you go

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Agemo's Hoops (outtake), 
        

you were breathing against my throat covering your laugh up with your long black overcoat all circuits warming up

and you told me what you were going to do and I promised to do the same thing too and the air, the air in New England was pure poison

the car was parked out back among the trees your voice was getting higher by slow degrees you were giving me directions

and you told me where I came from well God bless us, every one and the air, the air in New England was pure poison, poison, poison, poison

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Going to Palestine (outtake), 
        

that woman set herself on fire

they said it on the radio

they said she lit up the skies of Palestine

I could not stand to hear them say so

I saw the stars come out

I saw the oranges on the trees

later on they played some Caribbean song man they sure know how to pick 'em the rich voice burning like a fuse the syncopated rhythm

I saw the stars come out

I saw the oranges cracking open I saw you standing there orange blossom in your hair going to Palestine

going to Palestine

<> Zopilote Machine (1994),
      
Song from the Shoreline (outtake), 


        through the bodies of a hundred people, I saw

you

saw you coming through the crush

saw you pushing through

and in the bodies of a hundred people moving around

I shut my ears off to the world

I couldn't hear a sound

in the bodies of a hundred people, I saw you

I saw you coming through the crush

I saw you pushing through

<> Philyra (1994),
      
Third Snow Song, 
        

in January I took a short walk

down to the Broadway bridge

two and a half blocks

when you scrape the ice away you can read the bridge dedication I can feel the cold air coming in through my teeth I saw the bridge

I saw the water underneath

that's a whole lotta water

that's a whole lotta water

I took out the key that I’d forgotten the function of twisted it from the keyring as the bridge loomed above I hammered it against the ice I hammered it against the ice

<> Philyra (1994),
      The Monkey Song, 
        cool air falls through the venetian blinds and the planets in the heavens are perfectly aligned I take in my surroundings I memorize them all

the scuff marks on the stone floor,

the powder burns on the eastern wall

there's a monkey in the basement how did the monkey get there? there's a monkey in the basement where did the monkey come from? where did the monkey come from? where did the monkey come from?

the animal noises you used to make the Andalusian coral snake all hail when standing beside this room and the heavy hot rains and the sonic boom

there's a monkey in the basement where did the monkey come from? there's a monkey in the basement how did the monkey get there? how did the monkey get there? how did the monkey get there?

<> Philyra (1994),
     
 Love Cuts The Strings, 


        the first thing that happened was the river overflowed the water running through the streets and was sweet and cold I knelt by the water like a doe by a stream punch-drunk, snowblind, as though the whole thing were a bad dream


and then love pulled out the heavy artillery

Kypris took the horses by the bit for the morning ride

I count my blessings, but you can only be expected to count

so high

when love cuts the strings

I smeared myself with pennyroyal to keep the hounds at bay you poked your head out of an alley half a block away and I recognized you, though I’m not sure how

and the air turned red around you as a dull chill came down over me

and then love summoned up the infantry

and the green-eyed goddess got ready for all-out war

and I’d count my blessings,

but I don't even know what the word blessing means

when love cuts the strings

yeah!

<> Philyra (1994),
     
 Pure Honey, 


        I had a thousand good questions I was gonna ask you when you finally came by but now that you're really here there's only one question that comes to my mind.

and that question being:

what's with all the Portuguese water dogs? I’d like to repeat the question. what's with all the Portuguese water dogs?

<> Why You All So Thief? (1994),
     
 Going to Tennessee, 


        baseball season will be starting soon.

but we have no baseball team here.

I’ve got a house right on the river.

I can see Arkansas from where I am.

the dogs are gathered.

and the birds are chattering

and the sun is setting on Memphis.

and the sun is setting on Memphis.

medicine bottle collection on the window sill shakes when the cars go past on interstate fifty-five you are standing above me. you've washed your face with that apricot scrub again. I’m glad I’m alive

and your skin is warming up.

and my skin is warming up.

and the sun is setting on Memphis.

and the sun is setting on Memphis.

<> Why You All So Thief? (1994),
      
Pure Heat, 
        

the wind from the north, flattens the yellow corn.

you come into the house, with your dress torn.

I can see you now, as through a screen.

a smile on your face, your fingers dripping kerosene

your hair hangs down, over me.

your hair casts a shadow to cover me.

I can see you now, as through a screen.

a smile on your face, your fingers dripping kerosene

the wind from the north, cools me.

the wind from the north, doesn't fool me.

I can see you now, as through a screen.

a smile on your face, your fingers dripping kerosene

<> Sweden (1995),
      
The Recognition Scene, 


        we broke the doorknob off of the door.
the door swung open easily.
we sauntered into the poorly lit store,
and looked around lazily.
we stole every bit of candy they had inside.
gobbled it all up greedily on our 3 month ride.
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.
you headed out to the getaway car
and hit the open road
I saw something written in tall clear letters on your face
but I could not break the code.
we had hot caramel sticking to our teeth
and the only love I've ever known burring underneath
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Downtown Seoul, 
        

there was a new song on the air.
I saw you coming across the square.
and a white bird broke the dark Korean sky
as the rest of my life went by
I had your warm hand on my face.
I took your index finger in between my teeth,
and I held it gently in place.
it was resting lightly on my tongue in there.
I saw you shaking in the cold Korean air.
and there but for the grace of the lord of song
I would be this very second and I'm coming right along.
you had your cardigan on.
I looked toward the sky and the white bird was gone.
I remember your eyelids.
I remember your body now.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Some Swedish Trees, 


        well you were standing in the door
while I wondered what you were waiting for
I saw the wild strawberries on the vine
out of control
well I was trying to think of something clever
you were saying nothing whatsoever
I saw the berries throw their hooks into the soil
felt the blood between us churning thick as motor oil
we'd come from California
the air around you was familiar to me now
if you were gazing westward
I was looking at you again
yeah.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Deinara Crush, 


        one day in September you come here.
you pull my head down
and you whisper in my ear.
and you tell me the sidewalk is as far as the world really goes
but that's a secret everybody knows.
you hold my head in your hands.
you say my name.
how is it that though you say it some twenty thousand times it's never quite the same
and you tell me that Hercules died burning consumed by an article of his own clothing
that's something I'd rather not be reminded of.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Whole Wide World, 
        

the last of the repercussions died off real slow
and the sky was still
and the cold sun sank down beneath the snow
I hung by my hand from the tree outside
and I looked at the whole wide world.
when the voices came quietly.
I shut them down.
when a tricky young southerly wind
came at me with its high whistling sound.
I turned around to face it
with real arrogance burning inside.
and I drank in the whole wide world.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Flashing Lights, 
       

 I am wearing a white long sleeved button-down.
the pink colors behind the clouds tonight
mirror the softer shades of your nightgown
as the neuro-transmitters go crazy inside of me
you swear you're leaving town
empty promises empty promises.
I am watching the way the wind seems to pass straight through your body.
when you run your fingernail along my neck, you spill some water on me.
you say you're as good as gone
well, don't look now but here comes the dawn
empty promises empty promises.
empty promises empty promises.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Sept 19 Triple X Love! Love, 
        

...I bet you don't know...
I cut down that withered peach tree
just like you asked me to.
and I hacked it into pieces
set it on fire with your face in plain view
at the near window where you stood
watching me split the wood
I will do as I am told.
I will keep away the cold.
the fire pit in the snow
gave off a rich bright orange-red glow
a familiar scent rose up into the air
and I remembered something special from a long time ago
you opened up the door
stepped away from the killing floor
your footprint on the snow was fresh and new
when you touched me I felt fire coming through
I will do as I am told.
I will keep away the cold.
I will do as I am told.
I will keep away the cold.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Going to Queens, 
        

the ghostly sing-song
of the children playing double-dutch.
I felt the wind come through the window
I felt it turn around and switch back.
in the second story room
in Jamaica queens
your hair was dripping wet.
your skin was clean.
and the children skipping rope
tripled their speed
you were all I'd ever wanted
you were all I'd ever need.
in New York City
in the middle of July
the air was heavy and wet
the air was heavy, your body was heavy on mine.
I will know who you are yet.
I will know who you are yet.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Tahitian Ambrosia Maker, 
        

we were real hungry and half dead
when you broke out half a loaf of sourdough bread.
and in the tropical air the scent rose like a spirit.
moments of grace like this being wholly unmerited. ahh.
we were newly alive and I felt your hand on my arm.
I was awake to the sensation and immune from all harm.
you pressed your soft cheek up against my gut.
pure gold. nothing but gold,
and I'm gonna bake you a nice coconut cream pie.
'cause I saw the sky coming down to meet you.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Going to Bolivia, 
        

I cut myself a two-foot switch from some tropical hardwood nearby.
and the sounds of a carnival drifted miraculously
through the air from a thousand miles away.
the monkeys jumped from tree to tree.
it sent a deathly chill through me
in Bolivia
wildcats I had never seen claimed places in my room.
animal noises rang through the thick brush like voices from the tomb.
I saw the freshly polished chrome
gleaming in the mid-day sun.
and I knew that you were coming home
to Bolivia.
hey hey
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Tollund Man, 
       

 I was sitting at the edge of the marsh
when the council came to bring me the news.
they handed me a bowl of cooked wild grasses and they
gave me the ceremonial shoes.
goodbye young Danish women.
goodbye Danish sky.
goodbye cold air I am going away.
goodbye goodbye goodbye.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
California Song, 


        I know you see mars in the sky tonight
I know you can see Venus rising and veering off to the right.
but can you see that young star overhead?
it's the one that designed my undoing.
I know that in California the waves break on the beach.
and I know that the foam on the breaking waves
is as white as household bleach.
but do you see that particular white right now
it's the color of the young star coming on down.
I got joy joy joy in my soul tonight
I got joy joy joy in my arms alright.
although you treat me badly,
I love you madly.
you really got a hold on me.
you really got a hold on me.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
     
 Snow Crush Killing Song, 


        when I ask you to look at me
you look away.
I ask you to tell me something nice once.
you come at me with all your hot lights on display.
I know you're changing.
damn you.
I know you're changing.
god damn you for that.
when the snow stacked up outside,
you looked around.
I could see you from the window.
I could see the snow coming down.
I know you're changing.
damn you.
I know you're changing.
god damn you.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),

      Send Me An Angel, 


        in an hour or two
the sun will rise on you
and it will be clear what has happened between us.
in an hour or two
the wind will come through the window.
the wind will tear through the house.
I am creeping up the staircase one step at a time
to bring you roses and chocolate.
roses and chocolate.
roses.
roses.
roses.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),

      Neon Orange Glimmer Song, 


        there's a capsicum pepper plant growing out in the backyard
there's a capsicum pepper plant growing out in the backyard
and I... I am a monster
I can't believe the thing I've done.
I can't believe the thing I've done.
there's a friend of mine living in Dallas
about a two days' drive from here.
gotta friend of mine living in Dallas
and that's a two days' drive from here.
and I... I am a monster
I can't believe the thing I've done.
I can't believe the thing I've done.
and there's a cold wind blowing.
and there's a silver bell hanging.
and there's a silver bell ringing.
and I... I am a monster
I can't believe the thing I've done.
I can't believe the thing I've done.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),

      Prana Ferox, 


        you wake up in the morning feeling gloriously alive
with the firm conviction that the problems that disturbed you in the past
will now disappear disappear disappear
into the midnight of your consciousness.
I went down to the basement
to check up on the sour mash
I looked down to the nonreactive ceramic tub
it was bubbling.
I had stirred up the dust on the stairs coming down.
I saw the dust devils swarming around.
incoming sun beams cut them apart.
and I watched a shadow pass across my heart.
you were upstairs in the kitchen with your head against the sink.
trying to cool down.
trying to cool down. I know you don't believe me but I could hear you breathing
I looked into the tub and there the mixture was seething
with new life.
new life all around.
I had stirred up the dust on the stairs coming down.
you were upstairs in the kitchen with your head against the sink.
trying to cool down.
trying to cool down.
yeah.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),

      Cold Milk Bottle, 


        rainbows shone on the glass.
dew drops gathered on the grass.
and the yellow sun came into view.
another god-damned message from you
well despite your best efforts I feel alright
against my better judgement I feel alright.
despite your random acts of violence I feel alright
despite the force of your fury I feel alright.
you're mean to me.
why must you be mean to me?
you shouldn't forget you see
what you mean to me.
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),

      I've Got the Sex (outtake), 


        crushing strawberries one by one watching the juice drip down two and a half months ahead of schedule the leaves on the trees are turning brown we got ready for winter, as the sun rose up in the sky there was something almost soothing in the hard to define note of terror in your eye watching the strawberries lose their shape as the wind blew through the elm tree the wind was far too cold for the middle of April and you reached out your hand to me it was good to feel your hand in mine it was good to know you felt the pull too I scooped up a palmful of strawberry pulp and smeared it all over you
the wild strawberries drove me on, as I lapped them up off of your skin and I could feel your basal body temperature rise as the cold came in
hey hey
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),

      One Frozen River Stuck In Time (outtake), 


        standing silent when I see icicles hanging from the trees loon calling on the evening wind something new in mind new in mind stillness enveloping this town bulbs opening underground and I saw a young dog on its way down the street today we grow nameless as we feel the blood race henceforth through our bodies on its mission to no place what am I becoming when I see the way you look at me one frozen river stuck in time
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),

      I Might Compare (outtake), 


        wind through the wheat in the fields fields full of wheat this year sky turning white outside you should see the view from here I have been studying how I might compare this prison where I live to something last of the cars long gone sleep on the roof all day warm in the cold spring sun there will be the devil to pay I have been studying how I might compare I have been studying how I might compare I have been studying how I might compare this prison where I live to something
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),

      Slip Away From Me (outtake), 


        tapped on the window from the inside just to hear the glass ring and it sang out like a shark then went silent like a tiny frightened thing and the small sun fell down to the treetops and the small sun shattered on the snow and the snow stretched out like a blanket like something I used to know I let the memory slip away from me I let my memory slip away from me and the snow stretched out like a shroud from our doorstep to the sea shore and the new day whatever it intends to be let my memory be erased irretrievably the rain will fall on the old house now a thousand miles away in the sky sometimes I see a beckoning when I’m cold and tired and then the compass tilts like a sinking ship or spins like a thing gone wild
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),

      Let Me Go (outtake), 
       

 let me stay for half the season let me find a place where I can lie low let me catch a flight out to some island somewhere let me go let me go where my pictures go let me leave my things down at the clinic unwrap my bandages and drop drop them in the water let me feel the salt spray splashing at my face and lead us on our leashes like lambs down to the slaughter build a fire let it blaze and let the flames eradicate our names
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Shield My Eyes Against the Glare (outtake), 
        

up the hallway and out into the air shield my eyes against the glare blacktop bubbling in the heat Satan rising from the street I don't care much wild flowers whither at my touch and I’ll burn too before I get through down the street step sure and sweet watch for the hand behind the curtain there is no trace of it not anywhere so I shield my eyes against the glare and I slide glide into the intersection check up my own reflection when the gears grind I won't mind
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Horse and Master (outtake), 


        pass by the outer walkway where the dark elms grow time slows down a little just a stone’s throw away from the pit in the earth where we slept like horse and master before the disaster slip through the front gate where the windows blaze views this near the arctic circle stretching on for days it's all still here too it'll all survive you standing tall on the earth where we slept like horse and master before the disaster
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
     
 Casentino's Nursery (outtake), 


        the mailman brought the mail by
but the devil sent the rain
the mailman brought the mail by
but the devil sent the rain
and the rain tore through the streets
tore down Los Flores canyon again
if the leak was in the attic
then we'd all be doomed for sure
if the leak was in the attic
then we'd all be doomed for sure
there's a leak up in the attic
honey, let's get out of here
gotta keep moving, gotta keep moving
blues falling down like hail
gotta keep moving
blues falling down like hail
the sunlight keeps to worrying me
there's a hellhound on my trail
},
{
<> Sweden (1995),
      
Tulsa Imperative (outtake), 


        your momma's failed wheat field
was a good place to lie down together
three weeks deep into the guts of summer
we sweat like hogs, and I felt light as a feather
I saw a disk-like object
reflected in your eye
and the noise grew louder
as we looked up to the sky
and the sleek silver body
headlights along the side
and the sleek silver body
headlights all underneath
I remember the warm air
blowing in our faces
I remember the heat
running through me
there was no one worth telling
there was nothing we could do, and I was
real quiet as I lifted the keys from the kitchen table
I was looking right at you
and your hand brushed against mine
and and it shook me inside as
all along the night sky
I watched our futures collide
39
and the car's new headlights
cut through the darkness
as the oil dripped silently
to the pavement underneath
I remember the warm air
burning our faces
I remember the heat
running through me
},
{
<> Nine Black Poppies (1995),
      
Cubs in Five, 
        

they're gonna find intelligent life up there on the moon
and the Canterbury tales will shoot up to the top of the best seller list
and stay there for 27 weeks
and the Chicago cubs will beat every team in the league
and the Tampa Bay bucks will make it the way to January
and I will love you again
I will love you, like I used to
I will love you again
I will love you, like I used to
the stars are gonna spell out the answers to tomorrow’s crosswords
and the Philips corporation will admit that they've made an awful mistake
and bill gates
will single handedly spearhead the heaven seventeen revival
and the Chicago cubs will beat every team in the league
and the Tampa bay bucks will take it all the way to the top
and I will love you again
I will love you, like I used to
and I will love you again
I will love you, like I used to
<> Nine Black Poppies (1995),
      Going to Utrecht, 
        in the morning, I looked down
through the 3rd story window overlooking town
across the water, somewhere, you were sleeping over there
I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe it.
not if I saw it with my own eyes,
(with my own eyes)
(with my own eyes)
(with my own eyes)
(with my own eyes)
in the morning, I looked down
through the 3rd story window overlooking town
and I saw you. and I know you saw me too.
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it.
not if I saw it with my own eyes,
(with my own eyes)
(with my own eyes)
(with my own eyes)
(with my own eyes)
<> Nine Black Poppies (1995),
      Cheshire County, 
        when the sun came up, I got up
'cause you were saying my name backwards in your sleep again
the field outside was wet and green,
and the most gorgeous cow I’ve ever seen
was coming right at me, right at you
her udder was fat with fresh milk
and her black and white coat was as smooth as silk
and in the waning of a long long year
I felt the remnants of last night disappear
(disappear)
(disappear)
(disappear)
(disappear)
(disappear)
(disappear)
(disappear)
<> Nine Black Poppies (1995),
      Chanson Du Bon Chose, 
        saw the sycamore underneath the moon
I was waiting for something & you were sleeping in the living room
and it was five-sixteen a.m. - the air was sharp and cool
and I wondered where you buried our dark little jewel
and the heat rising, in the room
I am digging graves. I am digging graves
and the water boiling, on the stove
I am digging graves. I am digging graves
so I held you close to me
I saw the shadows start to gather outside beneath the sycamore tree
and something was changing
this was something here entirely new
bursting into blossom inside of us both with the sun coming up and
me holding onto you
and your body breathing on mine
I am digging graves. I am digging graves
and your hands running through my hair
I am digging graves. I am digging graves
<> Nine Black Poppies (1995),
      Pure Money, 
        waves crashed all around and near your body
the waves came all over you
and I saw the sky reflected on the ocean
deadly blue
yeah
(I used to know you)
(I used to know you)
(I used to know you)
(I used to know you)
<> Nine Black Poppies (1995),
      
I Know You've Come To Take My Toys Away, 


        sun flashing red and then orange then opting for secession
on the day when you came to the door with you terrible confession
I know you've come to take my toys away and
I know you've come to take my toys away
skin flushing red and then glowing when you come inside
and the moonlight watching all over you I have got my mouth open wide
I know you've come to take my toys away and
I know you've come to take my toys away
and when it drops, you're gonna feel it.
oh yeah
oh yeah
<> Nine Black Poppies (1995),
     
 Nine Black Poppies,


        when I got home I meant to give you some sweet chrysanthemum
the wind chimes were ringing all wrong and you were standing
in the doorway singing along
and I tried to remember how nice it had been
a long long time ago
but I couldn't remember.
I honestly could not remember
and a package came for you today, from the Hunan province
the postmark burning jet black in the summer sun
someone was changing. someone was changing from the inside out
and I turned around to face you.
sweet peas in the garden, all in full bloom
and I thought I heard the traces of an old song murmuring in the room
like a half-remembered conversation, I let it slip away
and then I could not remember
I honestly could not remember
and a package came for you today, from the Hunan province
the postmark burning jet black in the summer sun
someone was changing. someone was changing from the inside out
and I turned around to face you. 
}, 
{
<> Nine Black Poppies (1995), 
      
Stars Fell on Alabama,  
        

you looked real calm as we made our way up the walk
there were lazy kisses, hands brushing and small talk
the moon was high, your smooth face was dry, and the kudzu grew
and the stars fell on Alabama
and your eyes filled up with light
and the stars fell on Alabama
the warm earth underneath us gave way
dry grass crinkled like paper as a breeze came in across the bay
cold clean water nearby, glimmered in your eyes
and your pistol glistened.
and the stars fell on Alabama
and your eyes filled up with light
and the stars fell on Alabama
but if you think I’ll take a bullet for you - you're dreaming.
<> Nine Black Poppies (1995),
      
Lonesome Surprise, 
        

doctor, doctor can you help me please?
all these pills and problems, keep piling down on me
(here's your lonesome surprise)
(here's your lonesome surprise)
(here's your lonesome surprise)
I had a name
had a place
but like the clothes I wear
the holes grow everywhere
'til it's like having nothing at all
(here's your lonesome surprise)
(here's your lonesome surprise)
(here's your lonesome surprise)
walked out of my shower, feeling more wet than baptized
(here's your lonesome surprise)
(here's your lonesome surprise)
(here's your lonesome surprise)
(here's your lonesome surprise)
<> Orange Raja, Blood Royal (1995),
      
Blood Royal, 
        

I remembered you.
I remembered where you'd come from.
I remembered you.
I remembered where you've gone.
in the shifting neon air,
saw the colors of the revolution everywhere
blood royal.
I remembered you.
I remembered all the things you said.
I remembered the shape of your face.
I let the thought go to my head.
in the iron blue dawn,
I felt power coming on.
blood royal.
<> Orange Raja, Blood Royal (1995),
      
The Only Thing I Know, 


        when you came back from Trenton,
all the sparkle was gone.
and you stood in the shadow
and the curtains were drawn
and I know you're lying.
and you know you're lying too.
that is just about the only thing I know about you.
when you pocketed your eyeshadow
and you picked up the phone,
stepped out on the balcony
and drank in the drone.
and I know you're leaving.
and you know you're leaving too.
that is just about the only thing I know about you.
when you stop on the sidewalk
and you looked up above you,
warm wet air came down to shelter me.
how much do I love you?
well you know you're dying.
and I know you're dying too.
that is just about the only thing I know about you.
<> Orange Raja, Blood Royal (1995),
      
Raja Vocative, 


        a bird you would've liked brought the sky down,
but it was useless to see it without you around.
and in the unstoppable camera of my mind's eye,
I saw you and some foreign guy.
and I could hear your voice ringing.
and I could hear you singing.
from all the way across the country in palm springs,
I can hear you now.
your laughter tore through the new jersey night,
and I can't stand it, but I’m alright.
stood out on the balcony and I took a look around
and a bird you would've loved the sight of
brought the sky down.
and I can hear your voice ringing.
and I can hear you singing.
from all the way across the country in palm springs,
I can hear you now.
<> Orange Raja, Blood Royal (1995),

      Hatha Hill, 


        as the sun went away,
you were sending out signals.
you had sugar on your stomach
you had sugar on your hair.
you had sugar underneath your eyes.
you had sugar on your mouth.
I know that trick too.
I know what I means, coming from you.
<> Songs for Peter Hughes (1995),
      Short Song About the 10 Freeway, 
        evening came on like a big red wing
and the dying sun, split his colors on everything,
and as the night came on, you burst into song
and you scraped your car up against the guardrail
and god is present in the sweeping gesture
but the devil is in the details
<> Songs for Peter Hughes (1995),

      Song for Dana Plato, 


        the 3 month ride sticks in your mind
as though the insides of your head were a big screen.
and coming in on an evening wind.
it's the unmistakable scent of brilliantine.
what kind of memory serves, what kind of world is it,
that comes headlong at you, then swerves at the last possible second?
it's this one. it's this one.
and it's easy to slow down.
and it's easy to slow down.
and it's easy to just lie out by the blue pools
in the squinting sun and slow down.
and it's easy to slow down.
and in situations like these, it's sometimes useful to
think of life as one long continuous evening
that never turns into night.
hey hey!
<> Songs About Fire (1995),

      Pure Gold, 


        hey don't touch the door.
because the door will surely kill you.
I hear you saying that you don't see what I mean,
well you better look again.
stop looking at the floor.
because the whole building's turning, and turning, and turning.
and don't touch the door.
can't you see the door's burning?
and all at once the street is filled with light.
and all at once the street is filled with sound.
when I hold you I know our number's being called somewhere.
let them come on down.
<> Songs About Fire (1995),

      Papagallo, 


        you were standing near the water, when the wind ripped through.
heard your throat open up like a champagne bottle
I heard the one perfect song pouring out of you,
there was a darkening sky reflected on the river.
there was no way of determining where we were
low hills, colors gone crazy,
you standing like a ghost with the water behind you.
it's hard to grab ahold of some things sometimes,
like you need me to remind you.
you were standing near the water.
and I was looking at the water.
then you went down in the water,
and the river began to boil.
there was a minute when I thought I knew what you were about,
and then you opened up your eyes and the lord came out
low hills, colors gone crazy,
you rising from the water like a bird,
you had a pure song possessing you from shoulder to hip
and I recognized every single word.
<> Songs About Fire (1995),

      Song for John Davis, 


        the day we set sail from England
the wind behind us was fair
the day we set sail from England
there were smiling faces everywhere
and the snow came down on New Hampshire today
and the snow came down on New Hampshire today
the day we put the grain into the ground
there were smiling faces all around
and underneath the trees we planted when we landed
when I was a child
I spoke with the language of a child
but when I became a man, I put away childish things
and the snow came down on new Hampshire today
and the snow came down on new Hampshire today
<> Songs About Fire (1995),

      Stars Around Her, 


        I saw the darkness coming down,
it posed no threat to me
I let the darkness ease its way around
it was every good thing
I’d expected it would be
I saw you coming,
through the twisting vines outside
I saw the new moon collide
with the stars
clustered around her.
I saw the young fruit, on the new lime
I felt your breath catch it's rhythm.
I heard your legs push away the tall dry brush
I saw the moon and the stars
and knew the secrets within them.
I heard you saying
my name into my ear
no one has to tell me
why you've come here,
'cause I know.
I know.
I know.
<> Songs About Fire (1995),

      Eugene Sue (Like a Bullet) (outtake), 


        the car wouldn't start
and I had to walk
I headed out arrow toward the western rock
and I looked through the fence
heavy machinery shining in the moonlight
and a huge yellow tractor caught my eye
I heard the wheels crunch the gravel, I was feeling alright
and the tractor spoke
in drawn out syllables
the tractor sang
in long full notes
I’m getting out of here
coming to you like a bullet
I’m getting out of here
coming to you like a bullet
you gave me that liquid laugh
when I got home
as I tried to describe the bright yellow body and the shining chrome come alive
I knew you'd laugh
but that particular tone of yours just cuts me in half
you don't know what it's like to hear a big dumb machine spell out the details of your life
69
and the tractor spoke to me
in drawn out syllables
the tractor sang
in long full notes
I’m getting out of here
coming to you like a bullet
I’m getting out of here
coming to you like a bullet
<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),

      Hello, Old Rabbit (unreleased), 


        I saw the long row of blue bells.
I saw the fox glove and the night shade.
I saw the cool garden and I thought a while about
how I’d been waiting for you since the second grade.
the flowers made the air boil.
the boiling air made me think of you a while.
I did not come here to suffer.
I did not come here to suffer.
I heard the ducks all quacking.
I saw the sunshine on the lake.
I saw you standing near the water
and wondered how long I’d be paying for one dumb mistake.
the sight of you was really something else.
but I don't know what that something else was.
I did not come here to suffer.
I did not come here to suffer.
<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),
      
You're So Vain (unreleased), 


        well you walked into the party
like you were walking onto a yacht.
your hat strategically dipped beneath one eye.
your scarf it was apricot.
you had one eye on the mirror and
you watched yourself a lot.
and all the boys dreamed that they'd be your partner,
they'd be your partner, yeah.
well you had me several years ago
when I was still quite naive.
and you said that we made such a pretty pair
and that you would never leave.
but you gave away the things you loved,
and one of them was me.
I had some dreams there were clouds in my coffee,
clouds in my coffee, yeah.
well I heard that you went off to Saratoga
and your horse naturally won.
and then you chartered a leer jet to Nova Scotia
to see the total eclipse of the sun.
yeah, you're always where you should be and
when you're not you're with some underworld spy
or your best friend's boyfriend.
your best friend's boyfriend.
yeah.

<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),
      
Four New Trees (unreleased), 
        

the first new tree is tall and good.
it gives hard dark brown burning wood
when winter comes it stands right outside
with its blossom-laden arms spread wide.
the second new tree gives out sweet sticky fruit.
and it took a long time to take root.
sometimes we thought it had given up the spirit,
but now it makes me happy when I’m just standing near it.
the third new tree stands just west of the barn.
its best branches grow thicker than my arm.
I will water him everyday.
and I will chase all the termites away.
but the fourth new tree is my enemy.
yeah the fourth new tree shouldn't be here.
the fourth new tree
sets its tendrils through the water mains and tries to poison me.
his leaves are thick, always falling, and pure.
<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),
      
I Love You. Let's Light Ourselves on Fire (unreleased), 


        what's going to be the death of me?
static electricity.
what's making me take it all too far?
you are.
you are.
what's keeping me up at night?
the streetlight.
what's finally gonna let me sleep alright?
you might.
you might.
how do I know what I know?
where did our love go?
how come the river froze over this year?
what are we hiding here?
I saw you waiting by the mailbox.
saw the mailman come.
saw the neighbors poke their heads out of their windows.
I saw everyone.
<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),
    
  Milk Song (unreleased), 


        when the sky was the color of cream,
and you started leaving messages on my answering machine
telling me that you were way across town and
would be home in a night or two.
I started keeping track of my losses.
there were only one or two I couldn't cover.
and up there against the milk while sky I saw
fleeting vestiges of you.
the way you vanished gradually
has made a bitter man of me.
and the way you vanished gradually,
has made a bitter man of me.
where the ocean cleaves the rocks real clean.
I dropped my answering machine.
I watched the waves chew it into tiny little pieces of seafoam hissing in the air.
in the balance sheet I’d been keeping in my mind
I entered two hundred kroners to the left of the debit line.
it was what the machine had cost me.
it was a greater loss than I could bear.
I hear the wheels and knobs whirring down to this very day,
long after the ocean has washed it all away.
I heard the train go by last night.
and it's a slow train outta here, alright.
but the way you disappeared in slow degrees,
has made a very patient man of me.
yeah.
<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),
     
 Ghosts (unreleased), 


        I went down Yale today
just in the old way
a black dog hobbled past me
his tags jangled on his collar
it made me wish I was dead
it made me wish I was dead
had a familiar sun on me
just like it would always be
rocky soil dry land
I knew it all like the back of my hand
it made me wish I was dead
it made me wish I was dead
a terrific view form here
the sky's clear
the sun's high
I let things lie
and I know what is and isn't mine
and I was good to get back to the sunshine
but 5 years is a long time
and I spent 5 years in Sweden dying for you
I spent 5 years in Sweden dying for you
<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),
     
 Red Choral Diamond Spray (unreleased), 
       

 as we pull into the harbor in New York today,
I ask you how you're doing. you swear up and down you're ok.
but I can see what's gotten into your eyes.
it's written all over your face tonight.
we will never see Ireland again.
we will never see Ireland again.
as we hang up the map on the motel wall,
count up the places that we've left behind,
add the distances in between them all,
all the bridges that someone's burned down for us,
all the chances that we burned all by ourselves,
makes us wonder what we were thinking then.
'cause we will never see Ireland again.
we will never see Ireland again.
we will never see Ireland again.
<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),
      Ending the Alphabet (unreleased), 
        we've got the brightest skylight
like a vision of heaven on the evening sky.
and a clock tower two block from the spot where I’m standing tonight.
the avenues are throbbing with people.
and the late sunlight makes them all look like angels.
and the transformation is seamless.
they are unbearably bright.
I can almost hear their voices
as I walk past them all toward the water.
what is there left in a city like this
when everyone you know is gone?
I saw the wind wash them all away and I was freezing.
<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),
      Crane (unreleased), 
        picked up a fat, gold watch for you
down where the river washes over the avenue.
and I listened to it tick away the minutes.
looked out at the awful sky.
I was afraid that my arm was broken,
but it was only kinda run down.
I went walking after two last night,
felt like I was the only guy in town.
and I’m not.
I know.
and I don't need you to tell me so.
look at this watch.
look at this watch.
you won't believe what this thing can do.
<> Hail and Farewell, Gothenburg (unreleased) (1995),
      One Frozen River (unreleased), 
        when my old friend came crawling up the hill,
broken and bloody,
carrying her hair in clumps in her hands,
I let her right on in,
let her right in.
when she stood at the kitchen window,
staring out at the countryside,
and then she looked my way.
I let her right on in,
let her right in.
and when she was stronger than she'd been before,
I opened the front door.
and then I opened the back door.
and the sunlight poured in.
yeah.
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
      
Raid on Entebbe (unreleased), 


        on the shores of a lake named after a late queen of England
I heard new rumors of war.
the sun was a red ball up in the summer sky.
I saw my sister standing in the doorway.
she had that look on her face that reminded me of you.
the reports were coming hourly and the sky was blue.
they were shifting the power again.
they always do this when I come home.
I tucked my shirt in, though I don't know why.
shielded my eyes from the light up in the sky
'cause it was shining, blazing, like a highway flare
in the incredibly impossibly dry air
I heard my mother call my sister to the kitchen again
and thought that everything was headed straight down the drain
they positioned themselves in strategic locations
I was beginning to lose my patience.
if you'll just put your hand in mine,
we're gonna leave all our troubles behind.
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
      
Adair (unreleased), 


        I got my eye on the scar
it runs clear from your temple to your jawline
you'll tell me about all your thoughts right this minute
then I will tell you mine.
'cause I got the wind in my hair
and I'm far away from where I used to be
but I got all my attention fixed on you
and you're flashing that smile at me.
with the Midwestern sky burning above us
we lean up against the car
I want to tell you what the sky has done to me
I want you to tell me who we are
'cause I see you raising the water to your lips
it's the blazing dead center of July
and I got all my hopes hung on one gorgeous promise
and you got the sunlight dancing on your eyes
and I got the wind in my hair
and I’m far away from where I used to be
but I got all my attention fixed on you
and you're just where you said you'd be
just where you said you'd be
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
      
An Inscription at Salonae (unreleased), 
       

 there was guy up on the hill,
with a trumpet to his lips,
I mean to tell you he knew how to blow that thing.
there were women dressed in purple,
banging on their tambourines,
and hammering on cymbals (symbols?).
it was not that long ago
when we gathered in the valley below
I loved you more than I loved my own life
I was falling to pieces.
there was a young man on the altar
you saw me poised above him
I saw you watching me.
there were singers, there were dancers
there was glittering gold
spring breaking out gradually.
it was not that long ago
but the memory's kinda dying out 'cha know
like a flower caught in the overgrowth,
falling, falling to pieces.
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
      
There Will Always Be An Ireland (unreleased), 


        cold northern wind
your young arm
against my face
soft and warm
there will always be an Ireland.
there will always be an Ireland.
silent hour
worthless words
view of some foreign city from the high window
strange black birds
there will always be an Ireland.
there will always be an Ireland.
what we did
the things we said
your hand resting
on my head
there will always be an Ireland.
there will always be an Ireland.
there will always be an Ireland.
there will always be an Ireland.
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
      
If England Were What England Seems, Then We would Only Have Our Dreams (unreleased), 
        

I told you I was never going back
I was trying to breathe evenly
when the phone stopped ringing for the first time in a long time
and you flashed that smile at me
and then you opened up the window
I felt the air roll in
in the place where the world stops forever
in the place where your body begins
you were staring down at the street below
there was nobody there
they built a fire down there in the alley
I saw the fires rising everywhere
and then you opened up the window
the north wind began to blow
we were just a few short hours from something really special
and I heard you singing soft and low
hey
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
     
 02-75 (unreleased), 


        I got your letter
and I read what it said
and I blushed with recognition
at every word you said
and you are my best friend
and I have always known you
I dreamed of your house
and I looked around
and I saw the real rain, real power rolling down
and you, you are my best friend
and I, I have always known you
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
      
Birthday Song: This Time Has Gone (unreleased), 


        the sun came out this morning, I was wide awake
I stumbled on down to the kitchen and I cut myself a piece of my birthday cake
with raspberry filling in the middle
I thought about you a little
and there was a time when you wanted me so bad
it was eating you up inside
but this time has gone away
I poured myself a tall glass of milk, it was deep and cold
and I checked my driver's license, I was 28 years old
and there was a time when you wanted me so bad
it was eating you up inside
but this time has gone away
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
     
 Edvard Munch (unreleased), 


        brand new colors on the eastern sky
the blinding symmetry, the little white lie
your small hand waving in the cold air
the ridges of the mountain frozen on the skyline there
when the sun came out over Norway today
I saw you going away
there was nothing good in your going
there was nothing good in your going
i cut the flowers that grew near the door
and i arranged them in the center of the floor
and the room was so empty
there were pale shadows inside
when the sun came out over Norway today
I saw you going away
there was nothing good in your going
there was nothing good in your going
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
     
 Going to Bridlington (unreleased), 


        stopped by for the coffee and cake that you promised
saw your porch light on
saw your wirehaired terrier lazing on the lawn
came right in through the front door
went right down the main hall
turned right into the kitchen
there you were alright
the moon was rising over Bridlington
and you had blood all over your hands
someone was singing in the yard next door
and you had blood all over your hands
sat down on the kitchen floor
looked up at you
saw you smoothing down your skirt around your thighs
wondered what good that was supposed to do
and i saw you pull your hair back
saw you messing with your earrings
saw you trying to smile
hey you don't have to smile for me
the moon was rising over Bridlington
and you had blood all over your hands
something was cracking in the rafters of our house
and you had blood all over your hands
the moon was rising over Bridlington
the moon was rising over Bridlington
the moon was rising
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
      
Oslo 1888 (unreleased), 


        the snow built up around the smokehouse
and the sun shone on the snow
and the sun's rays were blistering against my eyes
the long night was well on its way
so I made good use of what was left of the daylight
walking out toward the main street
and coming back home again
sleeping, I sang a short song about you
and I knew every word of that song was true
well, almost every word
ice froze the green stems of the daffodils
ice formed carrots on my window sill
I was blistering, blazing away
and it had always been my tendency to let things slide
but I went to the window with my eyes open wide
and you were taking on perspective
coming toward the door
you want some more
I’ve got some more for you
I’ve got just what you're looking for
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
      
Going to Some Damned English City (unreleased), 


        your skirt was red and flowing
your blouse was blue
on the night I locked eyes with you
it seemed to me like I hadn't seen your eyes since last December
my shredding muscles
my popping joints
I saw the pupils of your eyes by firelight shrinking down to pinpoints
you were poking at the embers
there's a cold wind coming off the ocean
there's a cold wind coming off the ocean
I wet my finger with my tongue and pressed it in the ashes
rubbed it up against your perfect eyelashes
you said something really important
something pretty seems to have slipped my mind
walls were freezing, so was the floor
I didn't want to hurt you anymore
you had a sad, sad, friend in front of you
that dying fire behind
there was a cold wind coming off the ocean
there was a cold wind coming off the ocean
<> Jack and Faye (unreleased)(1995/6),
      
Going to Spirit Lake (unreleased), 


        why did you say what you said when the hummingbird vanished from sight
in the sudden swelling heat of the dark October night
you were laughing and your eyes were alive
and I knew that the moment had finally arrived
and I reached out for your hand and held on tight
you said the right thing
you fixed everything
as the stars formed a canopy over Spirit Lake
you said what you said
and the stars grew softer overhead
I was on fire
I was on fire for you
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
Then The Letting Go, 


        down in the south Bronx
down home
saw you walking down the street again
saw you looking sweet again
I saw you coming through
I turned my head away from you
why do you come here
why do you come around
why'd you go home
why'd you head on home to rockaway?
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Heights, 


        when the seashells crumbled in your hand
you looked up up at me
and the sand shifting underneath your feet
softened for you and incredibly the sun went through from the sky
and I was certain I was going to cry
but then you reached up and you reached out
we'd been staring at the water all day
and then you touched me you were golden
you were giving the game away
when the sand crabs ran across your face
you didn't even twitch
and a soft scent came across the water
impossibly rich
impossibly cold
we were just nineteen years old
but then you reached up and you reached out
we'd been staring at the water all day
and then you touched me you were golden
you were giving the game away
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Hellhound On My Trail, 


        gotta keep moving
gotta keep moving
blues falling down like hail
gotta keep moving
blues falling down like hail
and the daylight keeps moving
there's a hellhound on my trail
if today was Christmas eve
and tomorrow were Christmas day
if today was Christmas eve
and tomorrow were Christmas day
all I would need is my little rider
and the world would fade away
gotta keep moving
gotta keep moving
blues falling down like hail
gotta keep moving
blues falling down like hail
and the daylight keeps ta worryin' me
there's a hellhound on my trail
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
Blueberry Frost, 


        when you saw the evening star
shining in the freezing sky
I saw something dark and silent passing by
full moon
deep grass
cold water
when you said your name out loud
something broke inside me
nothing new to take ahold of
no new world to hide me
full moon
deep grass
cold water
full moon
deep grass
cold water
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
Alabama Nova, 


        your house is depressing
your house is dirty
why don't you come outside a little while
why don't you step out into the sun
let me take you down
let me ease you around Montgomery
and out there on the front porch
your hair shines in the sun
and I can see the sun gathering on your eyes
what the hell are you looking at
let me take you down
let me ease you around Montgomery
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
Moon and Sand, 


        deep is the midnight sea
warm is the fragrant night
sweet are you lips to me
soft as the moon and sand
oh when shall we meet again
when the night has left us
will the spell remain
the waves invade the shore
though we may kiss no more
night is at our command
moon and sand
the waves invade the shore
though we may kiss no more
night is at our command
moon and sand
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
I Will Grab You By The Ears, 


        the wind blew in across the water
and the wind blew through you hair
and I walked around the lake's perimeter
and then I saw you there
I will grab you by the ears
I will grab you by the ears
I will grab you by the ears
and you will know something
you will know something
I saw the birds fly out across the lake
I saw the birds go by
and I walked around the lake's perimeter
and I saw the lake reflected in your eyes
I will grab you by the ears
I will grab you by the ears
I will grab you by the ears
and you will know something
you will know something
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 It Froze Me, 


        I saw you in the blazing light
when the lotus caught fire
in the middle of the night
it froze me
it froze me
I saw you coming closer real slow
you grabbed hold
I let go
yeah I saw you in the blazing light
I saw you
I saw you alright
it froze me
it froze me
it froze me
it froze me
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Full Flower, 


        I saw the ceiling spin.
and I saw the room shift.
and I watched the television flicker.
and I let my mind drift.
I would give anything in the world up for you,
but I will not stop.
I saw the blossom form.
and I saw the screen glow.
and I let my arm fall to my side.
and I took one step back.
I would give anything in the world up for you,
but I will not stop.
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Million, 


        when I came back from Finland
the taxi took me down the street
I saw the red flowers growing like they used to by the roadside
in the smothering summer heat
you were standing out in front of the house
with your floral print dress on
and you had questions only a masochist would ask
written all over your big brown eyes
the moon is high over Iowa at night
the moon is high over Iowa at night
and I brought you a blanket
hand woven, hand dyed
the moon is high over Iowa at night
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Going to Bogotá, 


        I know what I want
and I know what we need
when the first fruits of the harvest
begin to blacken and bleed
and the purple fruit gives way when you press it
even so slightly
and through the thatches behind the green leaves
we heard the fire-eyed McCaw sing as evil as you please
his little song
is a very pretty song
but it’s something I won't stand for
and as the sun rises over Columbia
I know we're done for
when the holes started forming in the tent
and you wondered out loud where the sunlight went
I had a mind to tell you
but I didn't want to hurt you
and if I knew how to form the words
I would ask you what you'd come for
but as the sun rises over Columbia
I know we're done for
yeah as the sun rises over Columbia
I know we're done for
as the sun rises over Columbia
I know we're done for
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Orange Ball of Pain, 


        when I saw it on the bakery carousel
I knew I had to have it for my own
I eased it out
and I brought it home
why don't you try some
I already had some myself
is that the most delicious thing
you ever tasted in your life
is that the most delicious thing
you ever tasted in your life
and then the cold sorrow gripped me by the throat
and then I felt the colder sadness taking hold
I knew I had to have it for my own
why don't you try some
why don't you try some
is that the most delicious thing
you ever tasted in your life
is that the most delicious thing
you ever tasted in your life
and then I saw the snow against the window
and then I saw the snow hit the window
and then I saw the snow brush against the window
and then I saw the snow in here
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Waving At You, 


        listen you can tell your lawyer
that he can go to hell
'cause I can take whatever you're offering up reasonably well
and if four long years come to nothing that's alright
'cause it's your birthday
it's your birthday tonight
and I went to buy something
but I caught myself in time
and nothing makes any sense anymore
but everything rhymes
die hard
die kicking
old habit of mine
die hard
die kicking
old habit of mine
die hard
die hard
die kicking
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Going to Reykjavik, 


        I been drinking that coffee you sent me from Thailand
I’ve been watching the lamps burn
I’ve been listening to the wind chime
I’ve been waiting my turn
and I’m coming to you
I am coming to you
I am coming to you
and I heated the milk until it boiled
and I drank it down
and I stepped outside
and I checked my reflection in the rain
there were voices on the wind
winter coming on in
and I made myself up again, brand new
and I am broken and I am tired
and I’m coming to you with my mouth
dripping
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
1 Corinthians 13: 8-10, 


        we heard the rats in the rafters scurry by
and we wondered about the color of the sky outside
in Warsaw in 1939
it was alright just to be alive
it was good that you were mine
and you held your hands up
to form a heart in the air
you held your hands up with your thumbs touching
they formed a heart in the air
through the piece missing in the brick wall
we had an excellent view of the soldiers coming down the wall
and you held your hands up where I could see them
in the dark and they formed a heart in the air
you held your hands up
and they formed a heart in the air
I heard the old songs radiating from you
I heard the old songs radiating from you
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Going to Scotalnd, 


        there was a barn owl trapped in the rafters
the ground underneath us was wet and cold
we heard the owl thrashing about
trying desperately to get out
we stood outside and watched the night unfold
we watched the sun go down on Scotland
and I watched the moon come up over you
when a pack of dogs went silently past us
we knew we'd been given fair warning
but that was the only thing we knew
and you threw all your luggage out onto the water
and I tore the shirt away from my back
the cold came on with a new found intensity
and you pressed your warm body against me
and I loved you so much it was making me sick
and we watched the sun go down on Scotland
we were glad that we'd left Oklahoma behind
I took your hips in my hands and I threw you down
to the new found rich brown deep wet ground
had a vision of you burning on my mind
we watched the sun go down on Scotland
and I watched the moon come up over you
when a pack of dogs went silently past us
we knew we'd been given fair warning
but that was the only thing we knew
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
Etiquette Song (outtake), 


        rain washing your memory away
fires burning somewhere around here
clouds forming, clouds gathering
one minute in a long, long year
you've got one good reason for doing what you're going to do
I’ve got one thing holding me back from doing the same thing to you
in the San Gabriels the fire ate away
rabbit rush and the jimson weed
when the rain came it was like an old friend
when you came by you had just what I needed
you've got one hour left before something happens alright?
and the then rain will come down tonight
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
Pure Crystal (outtake), 


        the cactus cuttings took root,
the tea you brought me smacked of passion fruit
in a room where the heat bled in though the wall,
I let breathing in the design of it all
what is there to regret?
your mouth was wet
and your shoulders rolled under mine
I saw the glaze come over your eyes
I felt my blood pumping and the heat rise
I’ve seen pretty eyes before, but never like those
and your body open like a new rose
what more is there to say?
the air gave way
I was melting and sweltering under you
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Radical Evil Song (outtake), 


        I wind up the tiny machines.
I watch them go
I don't what they are exactly
what do I know?
I know that you are the radical evil
I’ve been wondering about
I know that you are the radical evil.
I’ve been wondering about
I read the words the clouds spell on the sky
I watch them burn up
then I see you turn up in the corner of the room
I knew you'd be stopping by soon
'cause you are the radical evil.
I’ve been wondering about
I know that you are the radical evil
I’ve been wondering about
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
Something Blue (outtake), 


        you come around here when the lights are down low
and you hang around for six or seven hours and then you get ready to go
well, I remember when you used to kiss me without me asking you to
yeah I remember when you used to
when I lean toward to you, you turn away
it's a quarter past one a.m. on a warm Saturday
that's alright, that's alright, I hear you
don't do anything you don't want to do
but, I remember when you used to kiss me without me asking you to
yeah I remember when you used to
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
Flower Song (outtake), 


        selling new flowers,
outrageously cheap
freshly cut daisies,
twenty five cents each
you loved me when you could keep your losses down
but winter's coming around now
now, now, now
the girl at the flower shop
is kind and young
she made accurate change for me
I let the change come
you loved me when it was cheap to do so
can you feel the cold wind blow now?
now, now now
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
I Meant Every Word I Said In New Delhi (outtake), 


        I know when you look at the photographs,
they don't do much for you
I know you see the fires raging
baby, I see them too
and even though
you got your options all lined up in a row
there is something I want you to know
I meant every word I said in New Delhi
every word
every word
every word
I don't know where you're going,
and I don't want to know either
I know you're heading north
I know you've kept the keys in your pocket
breathe in, I see the moon shining down you
I know that you remember
I can see it burning though
in Sanskrit, they got a word for it
savasana
savasana
savasana
savasana
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Going to Buffalo (outtake), 
       

 lay down just a little while
honey lemon-chamomile
very soon the plane's coming in
one hour worth of quicksand
the glass warm against your hand
very soon the airplane will take me away
I will nuzzle up against you and then,
I will never see you again
fires burning,
the world's turning around
words that lose their meanings and then swell up like balloons,
very soon the taxi will come
all the lies you told me can no longer hold me
very soon the taxi will take me away
I will forget how you've done me wrong,
how you've strung me along
fires burning,
learning to breathe
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
      
Going to Detroit (Going to Michigan) (outtake), 


        as the car rolled north towards Michigan you complained
that all I like to listen to is Gary Numan and the Tubeway Army
well maybe that's true
but what about you
and the Blue Cheer comprehensive retrospective box set
that's pretty annoying too
the wing window flew open
the air was thin
I heard you say so and I heard
shadings of meaning again
and your fingers touched mine
and that supersonic whine began near the back of my skull
and the white rose burned
you know exactly what I mean about the burning white rose, yes you do
yes you do
<> Nothing for Juice (1997),
     
 Calcutta (outtake), 


        wild donkeys kicking, braying in the meadow
made you wanna kick and bray yourself, at least you said so
and you were wild eyed, your lips were flecked with foam
'til warm Calcutta called you home
twin rivers flowing brought a flush into your cheek
at the spot where the trickling streams and rivers meet
the wind from off the snowcapped mountain cooled you down
'til warm Calcutta brought you back around
I could hear the prophets yelling in the street
how your eyes were pure poison, but your skin was sweet
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
New Britain, 


        you've had it up to here with my west country talk
you can hardly understand a word I say
the shortest tree around here is a hundred feet tall
it's gonna rain today
I try and tell you secrets 'til my face turns blue
I am not getting through to you
all the way across the ocean
they're gathering their strength again
lining up along the country's length again
this morning I know who you are
this morning I know who you are
on the river, the sun is bright gold
and the things you try to say to me make my blood run cold
but I hold you anyway, and we stare into the sun all day
and you're about to leave again
I’ve learned to read your movements
and I’m learning how to read your mind
the sun climbs up the sky for us above the Mississippi
and I feel you in my arms, but you're hardly even with me
this morning I know who you are
this morning I know who you are
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
Snow Owl, 


        you came down from heaven to the branch outside my window
your feathers were the color of snow
the dice were loaded against us ever seeing each other
but one of us had nowhere else to go
in your eyes were all the colors that the rainbow forgot
your wingspan was three feet wide or better
with your voice practicing notes from times own beginning
you took apart the alphabet letter by letter
and here where it all stops for good
where the cool waters run
thought I saw a mouse kicking in your beak
it was only a skeleton
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
West Country Dream, 


        sure as a surgeon
you slipped your hand into the door jam
blood coursing through the air tonight
I know who I am
and I know who you are
or who you were just an hour ago
static interference on the radio tonight
I know what I know
quick as lightning
you brought your hand back inside
and you shut the door behind you
it's too hot out there tonight
breath rising and falling
expansion contraction
why'd you tell me this?
were you looking for my reaction?
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
Masher, 


        most of the brine has got to boil away
most of the air has got to choke you
most of June I spent in jail again
I don't mean jail exactly
up in the pine tree
a red squirrel looked down at me
I am losing control of the language again
I am losing control of the language again
most of the things I used to hold on to
most of the things I used to say to you
most of the ways I knew around the local roads
are disappearing daily
high in the cottonwood
you were looking down at me and you sure looked good
your hair hanging down in the leaves
your neck tilted back to make a rainbow
I was losing control of the language again
I am losing control of the language again
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
Chinese House Flowers, 


        the wax paper that I taped over the windows
melted as quick as chocolate in the heat
and it'll probably never come off now
the windows look like frosted glass if you see them from the street
and the dim light that filters through
casts a new light on you
it makes me get all misty because I remember something
and then I see your shadow
and I, I wanna follow you all the way down this time
I want to see what it is you're going down for
I, I want you more than I want anything
I want you the way you were
you were lying in the moonlight outside in the grass
when I heard an animal voice somewhere in the dark
and I saw a wing shadow pass
and just then the gleam in your eye made my blood freeze
there was something up above us
rustling in the branches of the trees
and I, I pressed up against you again
I could hear your heartbeat steady, and hard, and pure
I used to love you so much that I was sure it would kill me
and I want you the way you were
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
Ontario, 
      

  I know what my weaknesses are
probably better than you do
revolutionary Chinese propaganda
the color of blue
I thought I knew what my weaknesses were anyway
then the orange tree blossomed last Saturday
there was nothing in it but pain for me
I know what can hurt me real bad
and what can't hurt me anymore
I know how to rise up with the sun
and I am learning what sleep's good for
I thought I’d figured out the world and its circular way
then I saw the sun fall out of the sky the other day
there was nothing in it but pain for me
squirrels climbing trees in bloom
soft yellow light spilling into the room
my favorite records, my favorite books
the people I loved, the people I almost loved
light beckoning, wind whistling
hey hey hey hey
day breaking river rolling
hey hey
la la la la
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
     
 Down Here, 


        on Venus it rains sulfuric acid
and the raindrops evaporate before they hit the ground
Japanese red-crowned cranes by the water here
trouble in town
I feel like I’m gonna drown down here
it's all coming down down here
hurricane's in from Australia
tore up the neighborhood
a telegram from Lithuania
and the news is not good
and I don't speak the language down here
it's all coming down down here
yeah
Johnson Johnson is my name
Brooklyn is my station
heaven is my resting place
and God is my salvation
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
    
  Twin Human Highway Flares, 


        you turned to me and asked me if I’d always be your boy
as we drove across the river into western Illinois
and on the railroad bridge, half a mile of solid steel
wheels were spitting out sparks, scraping at the rails
wind in your hair all right
sunset spilling through the rear window
your white t-shirt hugging your shoulders, beaded with sweat
on the day that I become so forgetful
that all of this melts away
I will burn all the calendars that counted the years down
to such a worthless day
as we walked across the parking lot toward the motel office
we were walking with a benediction on us
light was everywhere, the building stood against the sky
like a monument to desperation 2 floors high
a mile and a half from the river
we went back to the car to get our overnight bags
sunset spilling through your earrings, all over your body
when we shut the motel door behind us, we knew we'd hit the motherlode
on the day that I forget you, I hope my heart explodes
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
     
 Weekend in Western Illinois, 


        the land's opening up like a blanket,
and the dandelions spread themselves thickly out
along the fields, which are, evidently, endless;
and we are hotly in love with one another.
we've got an unquenchable thirst in our throats.
we are, for some reason, all the time, bleeding,
and we are friendless.
and we love these dogs that roll on the lawns here in Galesburg --
because they seem to know something nobody else knows.
it is written in the smiles on their faces,
and it rings in their high young voices
we are burning up all of our choices up here
where the tall grass grows, up here in Galesburg.
the sky's opening up like an old wound,
and the rain on our bodies is warm tonight
and the ground underneath us shakes in the cracking thunder.
we can taste fresh blood in our mouths again:
there is no chance of getting enough of it,
and we tally up all our possessions, we're going under.
but we love these dogs that loll in the rain here in Galesburg
as the new season rocks them in its terrible arms.
yeah they howl as though the world were ending,
and we are watching the sky unwinding
and some of our promises were binding up here where our dreams take form
up here in Galesburg.
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
    
  US Mill, 


        way up north
down the road a little
back in new England
right here in the middle
and all the way out west
we had our ears to the ground
all of our dreams resting in the same spot
listening for the old sound
it was ringing as clear as crystal
it was shining as bright as gold
grain gathering on the stone floor
and we were spring-heeled and we were real cold
all summer long
deep into autumn
in a high room
and down here in the bottom
down here in the bottom
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
Song for the Julian Calendar, 


        sun twinkling on the river this evening
I tasted chocolate on my tongue
darkness climbing up the ladders to the sky
rung by agonizing rung
I heard firecrackers popping next door
wondered what it is I bargained for
when I lay quiet on the floor and you were knocking
let me be your witness
let me walk out on the edge
the sun refused to shine on my backyard today
darkness climbing up the house
coming through the window ledge
I saw the firecrackers bursting on the sidewalk
I heard you talking your baby talk
I saw the bright lights again and
I felt the shock when you were knocking
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
     
 Maize Stalk Drinking Blood, 


        lying in the hot sun today
watching the clouds run away
thought a little while about you
the sky was a petrifying blue
and while the geese flew past
for no reason at all
I let the sky fall
this is an empty country, and I am the king
and I should not be allowed to touch anything
I picked myself up off the ground
shook the grass from my hair and I
walked around
felt the warm sun in my eye
strangers were passing by
I shinnied up the black walnut tree
let the hard blue sky fall right through me
and I saw the sad young cardinals, trying to sing
and I should not be allowed to touch anything
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
     
 Evening in Stalingrad, 


        when you were nineteen I first laid eyes on you
the small stream that ran through the center of town
carried your name to me
your hair was dark and your eyes were a frosty blue
and then they put me in jail 'til you were twenty-three
when you were twenty-four we took to drinking and dancing
we boxed with our shadows like a couple of kangaroos
and then we went down to Chechnya for the weekend
your eyes were glacial and your promises all rang true
and things are happening here while we sleep
I can feel it in my boiling brain
and I am dreaming in blood-red color
when I see the Stolypin car riding through the light rain
they'll have to carry me out on my back
they'll have to tear me to pieces all right
we are warm in our hidden room down here
we've got stars in our eyes tonight
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
Minnesota, 


        seeds came in the mail today from Holland
and the language on the package was wonderful and strange
all sorts of flowers that grow up from the earth
in goodly colors gloriously arranged
I circled the house and I scattered them around
let the water sink down into the soil
stared a long time at the residue
blood, milk and oil
god the humidity is something
our shirts are soaked clean through
the house is throbbing and the heat keeps coming
and I keep looking at you
and then you're singing in Dutch to me
and I recognize the song
it seems so old and so fragile
and I haven't heard it in so long
we may throw the windows open later
but we are not as far west as you suppose we are
hot wind coming off the water
the sky gone crazy with stars
while we stay here we imagine we're alive
we see shadows on the walls
there's something waiting for us in the hot, wet air
sweat, water and alcohol
just the old blood
rising up through the wooden floor again
just the old love
asking for more again
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
Original Air-Blue Gown, 


        rain all burned away
the horseflies are an iridescent green
plums boiled down to pulp
drying on a screen
bright red air inside the house here
I can barely draw breath
dark blue shapes popped behind my eyelids
I am not afraid of death
and on the television
black and white footage of the young Cassius clay
my god, my god, my god
he was something
fists flashing as he comes toward the screen
sailing headlong into nothing
and disappearing
reappearing
out there in the clearing
floating down the slight breeze
that plays along the edge of the leaves
it's you.
it's you.
it's you.
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
    
  It's All Here in Brownsville, 


        meanwhile out where nothing starts
out where the rail yard ends
the sun up above is trying to kill himself
we were watching the skies again
why do we come down to Brownsville
year after year after year
this was the question we never even posed
ringing like a siren in our ears
down on the Mexican border
in the unfathomable heat
with our shirts tied around our waists
and the world at our feet
we looked at one another's bodies
figured we looked all right
ready to die if we had to
watching the skies all night
and I was sure my heart would break
when the sun sank down into California
I felt your breath on my neck, it was hot and good and pure
and I wanted to warn you
and it's all coming apart again
it's all coming apart again
it's all coming apart again
it's all coming apart again
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
      
My Favorite Things (outtake), 


        champagne bubbled up through the neck of the bottle
and sweet sounds came out through the radio
it was John Coltrane
God damn it, I love John Coltrane
you danced across the living room floor
and you kissed me once and then you kissed me some more
you had your arms around my neck and it felt real fine
and then your ankle knocked up against mine
and resonating in my bones
the precise, crisp drumming of mr. Elvin Jones
God damn it, I love John Coltrane
<> Full Force Galesburg (1997),
     
 Cutter (outtake), 


        I've been living hand-to-mouth for a year or better
when the mailman comes and he gives me your letter
and I recognize the handwriting even now
but I go ahead and open it anyhow, yeah
no one's been buying from my roadside stand and I
hold your letter like a cross in my hand
I'm gonna wrap up my troubles
I'm gonna wrap up my troubles
I am gonna wrap up my troubles
in you
I went out into the kitchen
where the light comes through the four-paneled window
clean and bright
and it's taken me this long to realize
how much I like the way that you dot your is
I was born in Indiana thirty years ago
I got a mean, cruel hunger down below
and I'm gonna wrap up my troubles
I am gonna wrap up my troubles
I'm gonna wrap up all my troubles
in you
<> Tropical Depression (1997),
      
Anti-Music Song, 


        I saw you on TV
doing a bad imitation of Van Morrison
and I saw you on TV
doing a bad imitation of a second rate songwriter from the eighties named Morrissey
I never liked Morrissey
and I don't like you.
I saw you TV,
doing an imitation of an imitation of Jimi Hendrix
that's really pathetic
and I saw you on TV
trying to figure out what brain jones would be like if he'd have lived 'til today
I can tell you myself
he'd be like Brian Wilson
I don't like brain Wilson
and I don't like you
I don't like you.
<> Tropical Depression (1997),
      Going to Hungary, 
        we touched down in Budapest
headed straight for the motel room and got undressed
we had not slept for three or four days
and we slipped underneath the covers
it felt ok
about twelve hours later the sun came out to play
I felt it on my eyelids
I pushed your hair away
you put on your old gloves
you put on your new shirt
I put on my cowboy boots
I slipped on my yellow shirt
we headed out, sweat drying on our bodies
and I got all sentimental
we were heading straight to hell
in a Lincoln continental
<> Tropical Depression (1997),
      
Earth Air Water Trees, 


        through the shifting colors in the sky
I heard the wild geese call.
and the light was bright and clear and cold
over eastern Montreal
and although, I know
you're only toying with me now,
and although, I know
you hold your affection for me like a bone on a string
I love you, I love you because
you gave me sausage and cheese when I was hungry.
you hold your closed hand out to me
and you told me to guess what you had inside
and I had a thousand guesses and some of them were good
but I knew for sure that I was losing my mind
when the scent came rising
through the spaces between your fingers
when the scent called to me
and I knew we'd last at least until the end of December
I love you, I love you because
you gave me sausage and cheese when I was hungry.
<> New Asian Cinema (1998),
      
Can Dai Blowout, 


        he came knocking down the street lights
tearing up the new grass on the lawn
he was frightening off the livestock
I could feel him coming down
I let the Citronella dissolve in my hand
I began to feel real bad
when the ghost of your father comes to town
what the hell else can you do
I flung open all the windows
put the water on for tea
and let him pass right through
he took to knocking over furniture
getting into the reception on the wireless
he tore up all the dry goods in the pantry
he was strong and he was tireless
when the priest came to call, I sent him on his way
I got a tremor in my hands and my feet are made of clay
when the ghost of your father starts pushing you around
how are you gonna make him stop
I took down all the crosses, I let him set up shop
<> New Asian Cinema (1998),
      
Korean Bird Paintings, 


        yesterday I put in a good 5 hours
talking to the statues
chased your memory all around the room
didn't manage to catch you
but I cleaned out the savings account
blew everything I had on flowers
covered up the furniture in carnations
rolled around for hours
there are those of you, who got the wrong idea right now
but man you should of seen me when I got through
indistinguishable from a fourth century Briton
waiting on the couch for you
I put all the extras on the credit card
mobiles of the galaxy and Mylar balloons
everything we'd saved up in one room at the same time
cartoon stars, crescent moons
thank you notes, get well cards
condolences, congratulations
bright colors, hues and signals
reminders and reverberations
<> New Asian Cinema (1998),
      
Narakaloka, 


        the cabbages that I will grow
one by one and row by row
will fatten in the spring sun
and breathe in the evening air
you will hear them breathing
if you walk by at night
you may not hear them after all
but that's all right
I've set the table for two
I've cleaned the windows for you
I've got cinnamon from Jakarta
for making French toast
the doctor says that I've got
thirty days left at most
the cabbages that I will grow
the love songs on the radio
will deepen in the springtime
they’ll be brighter than the stars
<> New Asian Cinema (1998),
      
Golden Jackal Song, 


        well I swung through town
shining like a new quarter
felt something sharp rise up within me
when I crossed the border
stopped at the gas station payphone
I let my fingers fly
the wicked impulses were dying
but I couldn't let them die
and we were over at your place
singin' about the old times
no one had anything to prove
I ate so much carrion
that I could not move
I was bloated
when I saw you in the kitchen
glistening like the old country
all your cups and glasses
lined up in front of me
and I stopped at the faucet for a minute
waited til you came in to see what was wrong
and your fingers brushed my ribs playfully
and I played along
and you had your tongue in my mouth
your eyes glistening in the light
I ate rich raw carrion
til I couldn't think right
I was full
<> New Asian Cinema (1998),
      
Treetop Song, 


        All along the interstate
the palm trees were calling out to me
the line of them stretched down the highway forever
as far as I could see
I waited til the sun was coming up
light morning traffic and a cool spring breeze
I heard the old voices calling down
from the tops of the trees
when I got up to the top, my head got light
for a minute everything in the world was alright
I saw the next tree just 10 feet away
give or take a few feet I guess
then I pushed off into the air with all my might
headed out into the center of the morning light
I knew that I was gonna make it
the new tree hardly shook to acknowledge my arrival
I knew that I would be alright
<> New Asian Cinema (1998),
      
Counting Song for Bitter Children (outtake), 


        one, two, I don't love you
three, four, anymore
one, three, stay away from me
five, seven, good children get nothing
na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
one, two, two-and-a-half, stick around here, don't make me laugh
two-and-a-half, three, four-point-five, the new day's dawning and my hour's arrived
one, two, I got things to do
one, three, I got people to see, I got people that want to see me
na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na
na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
<> New Asian Cinema (1998),
      
Going to Date County (outtake), 


        when the rainbows disappeared from the skies of northern florida
because the rain had gone away
and I looked out on the front lawn and I saw you there
it was 6:31 am on a saturday
and you morphed into a housecat
and you all think I'm making this part up
but you are wrong
and the wind came through the window
and it my licked at my face
and I heard the sound of about a thousand tomcats
squalling up from all over the place
and you all think I'm crazy
or trying to amuse myself by telling cute stories
or telling cute stories to amuse other people with
but you are wrong
going to Dade County
<> New Asian Cinema (1998),
    
  Pennsylvania Dutch Treat (outtake), 


        brought in the old furnishings from muscle shoals
up here they burn a lot of brown coal
and the cars all run on diesel fuel
the wind comes in from hills to the east
blowing thirty miles an hour at least
and the clear blue horizon is smooth and cool
and the house is like a relic of days gone by
and it's kinda hard to take, but i try
I've got a deep need to communicate
I want so badly to set things straight
but I can't seem to concentrate
deep in the heart of the Quaker state
i had the bed sent in from the west coast
watched the moving men carry in the old ghosts
and the purple-ink sky swelled up like a pregnant woman
saw the lights go up in town
on the back porch it began to cool down
but in here, in here, in here it was hotter than an oven
and the way my blood began to froth and foam
made it feel just like home
I've got a deep need to communicate
I want so badly to set things straight
but something tells me it's way too late
deep in the heart of the Quaker state
<> New Asian Cinema (1998),

      Song for Roger Maris (outtake), 


        when the power of God shows up in your swing
and the people start to notice and you can't do anything about it
and they all come out to see you
and they start to crowd around
let me tell you brother, you can feel it coming down
and I got an angel watching over me
a monkey on my back
the devil at my heels
reporters breathing down my neck
yeah, my father always to me to finish what you start
my wife's about to leave me and it's going to break my heart
and I no longer have my youth
I no longer have my looks
I got a goddamn one-way ticket to the goddamn history books
and I got an angel watching over me
a monkey on my back
the devil at my heels
reporters breathing down my neck
<> Isopanisad Radio Hour (1998),

      Abide With Me, 


        abide with me
fast falls the eventide
the darkness deepens, lord with me abide
when other helpers fail, and comforts flee
help of the helpless, lord abide with me
swift to its close
ebbs out life's little day
earth's joys grow dim
its glories pass away
change and decay in all around I see
o thou who changest not,
abide with me.
<> Isopanisad Radio Hour (1998),

      Born Ready, 


        I’m going to see you in San Jose.
I’m going to see you in San José.
and I’m going to take you out for good.
I’m going to take you down.
I’m headed up the 101 right now.
I’m headed up the 101 right now.
and there's snow on the ground in Ohio today.
there's no snow here.
the sun is in my eyes.
yeah the sun is in my eyes.
when I think about you, I feel so bad.
it's been a long, long, long, long time.
<> Isopanisad Radio Hour (1998),

      Cobscook Bay, 


        we're alone most of the time these days.
Jill used to come by, but she went away.
and Gail used to come around and trash the joint,
but she moved off to Dana point.
and you went along, just for the ride,
and you both committed suicide.
and day is breaking over Cobscook Bay.
and I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
cow gave birth and her calves are snow white
the huddle up close together at night.
and the mamma cow leans down and cleans her young.
licking their faces with her tongue,
and unmarked airplanes buzz the air.
and you're falling off that cliff somewhere in California --
which I’ve never seen.
I put the pieces all together, but I don't know what they mean,
and day is breaking over Cobscook Bay.
and I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
<> Isopanisad Radio Hour (1998),

      Dutch Orchestra Blues, 


        somewhere in secret, the Dutch orchestra's playing.
somewhere in secret, the Dutch orchestra's playing.
real nice.
real nice.
and they play so quiet, you can hear the passing traffic.
they play so quiet, you can hear the passing traffic.
and the cars buzz by, and the wind blows.
and I may walk past/fast?, and I may not.
and someone may notice, or it may all slide right by.
and you may love me, or you may not love me at all anymore.
but the sun will shine on Holland in the spring.
and god will watch over the members of the orchestra for me
with all his available energies.
yeah yeah.
<> Isopanisad Radio Hour (1998),

      Pseudothyrum Song, 


        why do you treat me this way?
and why do you try so hard to break my spirit?
I think someone was mean to you when you were little,
that's what I think.
I think someone was mean to you.
why do you cling to such petty points of contention?
and why don't you allow me one or two small victories now and then?
I think someone was mean to you when you didn't deserve it,
that's what I think.
I think someone was mean to you.
but I, I am not that guy.
can you get that straight?
I am a completely different person
from the one you have in mind.
why do you stand by the things you say long after
you don't mean to hurt anybody anymore?
I think someone was mean to you
for a long, long time, that's what I think.
I think someone was mean to you.
<> Isopanisad Radio Hour (1998),

      The Last Limit of Bhakti, 


        let me serve you with my mind.
let me serve you with my mind.
let me leave this grieving sand and sky far behind.
let me serve you with my tongue.
let me serve you with my tongue.
let me say your name all day 'til my mouth goes numb.
when the sun comes up, open up the blind.
let me hear the machines grate gears, squeal and grind, yeah.
let me serve you 'til it's over.
let me serve you 'til it's all over.
when the world is giving your secrets all away,
let me give you cover.
let me serve you with my body.
let me serve you with my body.
let me fight now until the end of time,
the last limit.
yeah, yeah.
<> unreleased,

      You're in Maya (outtake), 


        he hit me right in the face
I drove the falcon up town
hung out in the library parking lot
the swelling'll never go down
tied a Hiram walker in the lining
of my father's old corduroy coat
big big plans hatching in my brain and a
big ugly lump in my throat
I drove up to Harvey Mudd and I played pinball
'till I didn't want to kill anyone
polished off all my cheap whiskey
and stepped out into the California sun
singing bainne na mo is a gamna
and the juice of the barley for me
singing bainne na mo is a gamna
and the juice of the barley for me
my thirst carried me up the coast
where it only got sharper goddammit
in a small room that got even smaller
a block away from the Willamette
there was nowhere I needed to go
and nowhere I wanted to be
and my window looked out upon nothing
and nothing looked right back at me
I had a couple of things on my mind
a couple of problems to think through
and I drank 'til I couldn't see straight anymore
until there was nothing to drink to
singing bainne na mo is a gamna
and the juice of the barley for me
singing bainne na mo is a gamna
and the juice of the barley for me
<> unreleased,

      Letter From a Motel, 


        the beams we used to build our house are breaking at last
the building will not hold together very much longer
my arms are young and they can do the work if called upon to do so
but the house itself has weakened and it's tilting on its axis
in the picture that you sent I could see the windows getting soft
yeah I could see the heat had gotten straight out of hand
and I knew that none of this was what you'd been meaning to send along
I did not mean to say what I’m saying now
if we're gonna talk about what intentions were
but the house itself is weak.
very weak.
though you and our three daughters believe in what you want to believe
from where I stand stability is everything
in the room I’m standing in stability is everything
and in this world, in this world, stability is everything
<> Protein Source of the Future...NOW! (1999),
      Hand Ball, 
        I am the dry meat that fills the mouth
I am the fire that burns without wood
I am evil forest, kill a man on the day that his life seems sweetest to him
I did not come to play hand ball
I did not come to play hand ball
<> Protein Source of the Future...NOW! (1999),

      The Window Song, 


        a knocking sound it woke me up,
but my legs were feeling weak.
I stared up at the ceiling and I saw you at the window.
but my mouth wouldn't let me speak.
I know you.
you're the one I spent three seasons trying to pretend
that I never knew.
something pulled me off the bed.
and the same thing moved the muscles in my legs.
I moved towards you voice, and my body got so light,
I could've walked on eggs right then and not broken a one of them.
I know you.
you're the one I spent three seasons trying to pretend
that I never knew.
I know you.
you're the one I spent three seasons trying to pretend
that I never knew.
I know you.
you're the one I spent three seasons trying to pretend
that I never knew.
I know you.
you're the one I spent three seasons trying to pretend
that I never knew.
<> Protein Source of the Future...NOW! (1999),

      Duke Ellington, 


        the light hit the rings
glimmering on his fingers
the light came down
and his hands hit the keys
it utterly wasted me in Sweden
the horns punched the air
the aftermath fell around everywhere
I saw the spotlight land on his rings
and I’d had just about enough losing things
in Sweden in nineteen sixty-two
quite some distance from you
<> Protein Source of the Future...NOW! (1999),

      Alpha Omega, 


        on the morning you went away
the air was humid and the sky was gray
I had boiled peanuts for breakfast from Cairo, Georgia
the air was wet, my face was wetter
the pink flowers along the western window made me feel better
I turned the air conditioner on
found the note on scented stationary - you were long gone
I had boiled peanuts for breakfast from Cairo, Georgia
I popped the top off of the aluminum can
let the brine slide down my fingers, man
it was warm, it was warm on my skin
but I felt the cold blast looming on in
I had boiled peanuts for breakfast from Cairo, Georgia
<> Bitter Melon Farm (1999),

      Noche Del Gaujolote, 


        the glowing world, the bench backed up against the house
the chicken coops the darkness surrounding everything
it was late and the night was moving slowly
we laid down on the ground because the world was lonely
if you keep quiet it will stay like this forever
if you just keep quiet it will stay like this forever
I feel certain of it now
and all the birds were sleeping in their perches
the little wind, swaying birches
and the north American wild turkey
that your father brought home
woke up and came towards us
and the moonlight and the turkey waking up
and the night air and the moonlight on your skin
and the moonlight and the turkey waking up
and the quiet yard and the turkey and the moon
unimaginable
unimaginable
unimaginable
unimaginable
<> Bitter Melon Farm (1999),

      Going to Bangor, 


        the ocean wind cold on our lips,
the wild fern growing, sinking ships,
all the signs are easy to read.
in the morning you come my way,
your skin is pink, the sky is gray,
there's fresh cranberries in your mouth
with thick red water dripping out.
you expect me to believe everything you say, well o.k.
<> Bitter Melon Farm (1999),

      Against Agamemnon, 


        red red, red everywhere
bright red all along the thin canvas wall
I stepped outside, for a little air
I stepped outside to get away from it all
I went out to the front, and saw the purple sky
making jokes about my condition
I am going for a walk
I’ll be back in half an hour
watch over the children
I’ll be back in half an hour
hey hey la la la
hey hey la la la
<> Bitter Melon Farm (1999),

      Black Molly, 


        black mollies in the aquarium,
darting back and forth as though an earthquake were certain
and I, turned up the heater
and I ripped off my shirt
and I grabbed hold of my stereo
and I threw it out the window
you were in town again
you'd come around again
you were dragging me down again with you
Siamese fish flashing like sparklers
it started to rain
and the telephone rang a couple of times
I put a bullet through its cold dead brain
and I got out my photographs of you
and I put bullets though all of them too
you were in town again
you'd come around again
you were dragging me down again with you
yeah
<> Bitter Melon Farm (1999),

      The Rain Song, 


        the rain came down
soaked the old hibachi
and I wish I could sing, like Allen Callaci
and then you would know
how sad it was, when the rain came down
drop by drop
gallon by gallon
brother if I could sing,
if I could sing like Allen
you would know
and understand how sad it was when the rain came down
<> Bitter Melon Farm (1999),

      Song For An Old Friend, 


        the garter snake passed lazily through the tall yellow-headed sour grass
there was cold, clear water in a tall, clean glass
the sunlight hit the sides and it came through the water tilted
I saw the condensation on your hand
I could feel the glaciers melting
and a warm, soft wind
covered up everything
on the day your love came screaming through me
you had oranges and lemons in a canvas bag beside you
and seven different kinds of light welling up inside of you
you smeared citrus pulp all over me, it felt okay
good old east Rutherford three thousand miles away
I felt the warm surge blast my mind
coming in from behind
on the day your love came screaming through me
in the fresh light of day
I felt something falling away
on the day your love came screaming through me
<> Bitter Melon Farm (1999),

      Snow Song, 


        what cars there are
go by like snails
and ice crystals shine
on the staircase's handrails
the quiet air
is worth some discussion
as the windows crack
and the cold is crushing.
they've shut down the roads to the coast.
there's white streets as far as the eye can see
and I'd just as soon
make you disappear as look at you
but I draw you close to me.
how do you feel about that?
how do you feel about that?
<> Bitter Melon Farm (1999),

      Faithless Bacchant Song, 


        somewhere in the damn forest...
where the fat pines look like my brother's arms,
thick and ripe
I’m trying to get out for days and these green vines
keep getting in my way
I came up to a clearing.
where the crosswinds cooled my face.
I would've sat down there in the middle,
I would've rested just a little,
but for the fire-bellied toads.
see the ground was wet and they were everywhere.
fire-bellied toad number five
from what may or may not have been unlimited series
opened up his little mouth
as though to speak,
and then he spoke
and then he spoke to me, and he said,
you can't holler down a rain barrel.
you can't climb around a tree.
I don't want to play in your yard.
if you won't be good to me.
honey it was downright creepy.
<> Ghana (1999),

      Golden Boy, 


        you must try to lead a good life
you must do unto others as you would have them do
so that when you die you'll find golden boy peanuts waiting in the
afterlife for you
there are no pan Asian supermarkets down in hell
so you can't buy golden boy peanuts
there are no pan Asian supermarkets down in hell
so you can't buy golden boy peanuts
if thine enemy oppresseth you
you must let him oppress you some more
so that when you go shopping in paradise
you'll find those magnificent peanuts from Singapore
with the drawing of the young Chinese farmer
the eastern sun behind him smiling at you from the shelves
if we want to spend eternity in happiness
well we're gonna have watch ourselves
you must give to the march of dimes
you must be on guard against wickedness at all times
and you'll find that your efforts have brought you great joy
when your spirit is munching on that golden boy
there are no pan Asian supermarkets down in hell
so you can't buy golden boy peanuts there
but the streets of heaven are lined with shelves
and there's billboards of the golden boy everywhere
there are no pan Asian supermarkets down in hell
so you can't buy golden boy peanuts
there are no pan Asian supermarkets down in hell
so you can't buy golden boy peanuts... GO!
<> Ghana (1999),

      Going to Port Washington, 


        the trees were all decked out in their best fall colors
there was a snap in the air
when you eased down the window
and the New York sun brought out the highlights in your hair
and gently, gently
the constellations aligned
and as we crossed over the throgs neck bridge I had
something on my mind
when we rolled down the street
in the cool of the morning
I could feel the new day dawn
and somebody had gone and turned the waterworks on
and slowly, surely
I saw the whole story unwind
I had never loved anyone like I loved you
and I had something on my mind
<> Ghana (1999),

      Going to Kirby Sigston, 


        we boarded up the windows.
and we sealed the door shut.
and we let the special chicken build a nest right by the window.
your face was glowing.
the heat was strong.
we ate cold black eggs all day long
in the winter when the wind kicked up.
I saw your body moving through the incandescent light.
you were dancing by yourself there.
your sweater hugged your shoulders and it was alright.
we plucked sugar crystals from the cold English air.
I had a present for ya hidden down there
in the winter when the wind kicked up.
<> Ghana (1999),

      Please Come Home to Hamngatan, 


        jewel thieves, jewel thieves
leave fingerprints on everything
jewel thieves, jewel thieves
leave fingerprints on everything
but around here, around here,
we don't dust for fingerprints.
snake oil peddlers, snake oil peddlers,
we can spot 'em half a mile away
snake oil peddlers,
we can spot 'em half a mile away
but these days, these days,
we drink a lot of snake oil.
adulterers, adulterers,
always give themselves away
adulterers, adulterers,
always give themselves away
but down here, around here
where the moose run wild,
and you can't think clearly
we let 'em off pretty easy.
<> Ghana (1999),

      The Last Day of Jimi Hendrix's Life, 


        on the last of his life, Jimi Hendrix woke up
and made his way down the hall
and he adjusted the knobs on the shower till the water came out just the
way he liked it
it was hot but not too hot
it was hot but not too hot
on the last afternoon of his life, Jimi Hendrix went to the kitchen
and got himself a glass of water
he put four ice cubes into the glass
there is nothing like cold water
there is nothing
<> Ghana (1999),

      Wild Palm City, 


        I see five fingers on each hand.
I see only as far as my arms can stretch.
after that it all gets kinda blurry.
I see the air compressor vent where it rises
up from the hot ground, but I’m not afraid.
I see what's going through
it's you, only it's bigger and better and brighter.
I got the sofa set up right here.
I got a room, a room full of sand.
open up your mouth, and buddy, you'll wish that you hadn't.
I feel the new day coming on strong.
I see Cindy and she's talking up a storm.
I remember her, and I see who she's bringing.
it's you, only it's bigger and thinner and wider.
I touch the leaves of the plant next to me.
they're thicker than they were the last time I touched them
and it curls quickly around my hand
there are stars up there even when you can't see them
I’ll tell you something that really bothers me.
how are we supposed to get anything done?
with those starts casting shadows that look just like spiders?
yeah, it's you, but this time you're coiled up much tighter.
<> Ghana (1999),

      The Anglo-Saxons, 


        they used to paint their bodies blue
a couple of them might be distantly related to you.
according to Caesar they shaved their entire bodies,
except for the upper lip and the head
yeah, the Anglo-Saxons
yeah, the Anglo-Saxons
a sub-literate bunch of guys,
though some sources say otherwise.
yeah, the Anglo-Saxons
yeah, they were men on a mission,
preserving their poetry by oral tradition
yeah, oral tradition is all you get
until saint Augustine brought in the alphabet.
yeah, the Anglo-Saxons
yeah, the Anglo-Saxons,
in 1065 they were ragin'
but 1066 brought the Norman invasion.
yeah, the Anglo-Saxons
go!
<> Ghana (1999),

Flight 717: Going to Denmark, 


your bright eyes render all discussion pointless
your bright eyes are gonna kill me for sure
I look at you and I know that the house will come down
because your burning eyes are bright and pure
but there's a room for us in a red brick building
by a bright green field in Denmark
I’ve got a twitch in my leg and it makes me nervous
and I’ve got fifty cents in my watch pocket
and your name beating march time in my blood
putting pressure on the hollows of my eye sockets
there's a room for us in a red brick building
by a bright green field in a very old country
my mouth is open
so you can stuff the bright red roses in.
'cause I feel the California sky closing in.
there's a room for us on the third floor of a red brick building
by a green field with a stream running through it in Denmark.
yeah!
<> Ghana (1999),

Admonishing Song, 


tell me why.
tell me why.
tell me why you lied.
that was not a nice thing to do.
not a nice thing to do.
it wasn't very nice of you.
not a nice thing to do.
tell me why.
tell me why.
tell me why when you got caught in it you told the same lie.
that was not a nice thing to do.
not a nice thing to do.
it wasn't very nice of you.
not a nice thing to do.
tell me why.
tell me why.
tell me why you made threats against the life of the prime minister of Canada.
that was not a nice thing to do.
not a nice thing to do.
it wasn't very nice of you.
not a nice thing to do.
<> Ghana (1999),

Creature Song, 


I remember the sound of your voice
but none of what you said.
I remember the burning in my body
and the buzzing in my head.
and I do remember your voice
smoothing over my only choice.
oh brave new world
that has such people in it.
oh brave new world
that has such people in it.
I can see the look on your face now
yes I can.
bright light dancing all along your eyes
and you covering your mouth up with your hand.
bracelets jangled against your arm.
no harm intended
no harm.
oh brave new world
that has such people in it.
oh brave new world
brave.
<> Ghana (1999),

Pure Sound, 


hey.
the air was cooling down
the sky was blue
I was heading north on Tailor street
when I ran into you
we stopped to talk.
right there on the sidewalk
the air was new and clean
I was inbetween times.
the mountains were clearly visible
and your timing was cruel.
you said almost everything right
and your eyes shone like little jewels.
we were talking
while the temperature dropped.
I was hoping against hope
that the wheel would stop.
you were nineteen,
I was inbetween times.
hey.
<> Ghana (1999),

Going to Maine, 


You and me are in a lot of trouble
And somebody's gonna burst our bubble
Your husband
My wife
My marriage
Your life
Let's go to Maine out on the East Coast
Let's go to Maine right now
Let's beat the retreat
Let's hop on the plane
Let's get out of here
Let's go to Maine
Someone knows what's going on
Someone knows, and someone's gonna tell
Someone's gonna wrap us up in styrofoam and paper
And mail us flat-rate right down to Hell
<> Ghana (1999),
      
Noctifer Birmingham, 


I had to stop and catch my breath
when the telephone rang out as loud as death
it was three in the morning
there was a low drone of katydids behind your voice
when I came down from Harrisburg Pennsylvania
and I saw you by the highway
you asked me if the north was alright
and I said it got kind of cold at night
I could feel your bones shivering way down there in Birmingham
and when I came down from Harrisburg Pennsylvania
and I saw you by the highway
you reminded me of all the things you'd given up forever
and you asked about the children
and you asked about the weather
and then I came down from Harrisburg Pennsylvania
and I saw you by the highway
<> Ghana (1999),
      
Leaving Home, 


        we gathered up our worldly goods
stole off in the dark as quickly as we could
you were quieting the baby down
when we came to the dock on the outskirts of town
and looking back we saw china shrinking to the size of a coin
and then we saw water everywhere
when we climbed on board
they tied our things together with electrical cord
and then we set sail
as we held on tight to the cold iron rail
and I apologize but I don't know what I love more
you next to me there or the receding shore
we stood there in the cold
and the baby was six months old
we were passing him back and forth
when a cold familiar wind came down from the north
and looking back we saw china shrinking to the size of a coin
and then we saw water everywhere
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Jaipur, 


        this house is so haunted with dead men I can't lose
I was having visions of sugar pastry
cooked up in clarified butter
I tried to turn my visions into prayers
but I built my castle way high up in the air
yeah I came to the gates of the fabled pink city
hungry, and tired, and cold
swing low sweet chariot
chrome tail pipe shining bright as spun gold
my brothers picked me up out of the rushes
handed me into the company of evil men
but I've inched my way down the eastern seaboard
I am coming to Atlanta again
yeah I came to the gates of the fabled pink city
hungry, and tired, and mad as all hell
swing low sweet jewel-encrusted chariot
make me young again
make me well
I am the killer dressed in pilgrim's clothing.
I’m the hard to find stations on the AM band.
I am the white sky high over Tripoli
I am the land mine hidden in the sand.
yeah I came to the gates of the fabled pink city
hungry, and tired, and alone
sweet low sweet sweet sweet chariot
coming forth to carry me home
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Elijah, 


        streak the windows.
smear the walls with coconut oil, yeah.
fill a cast iron kettle with water and magnolia blossom.
let it boil.
let the water roll.
let the fire take its toll.
I’m coming home.
I’m coming home.
dust off the idols.
give them something to eat.
I think they're hungry.
I know I’m starving half to death.
I know you're waiting.
I know you've been waiting for a long long time.
and I’m coming home.
I’m coming home.
set the table.
those three extra places --
one for me,
one for your doubts,
and one for god.
let the incense burn in every room.
feel the fullness of time in the empty tomb.
feel the future kicking in your womb.
I’m coming home.
I’m coming home.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Seneca's Trick Mirror, 


        seventeen years ago, they told me to teach you everything I know.
I let the fire rain down, rain down.
watched it flare up inside his heart.
saw it tearing him completely apart,
head to toe, I know.
and blood will run through the streets of Rome today,
and roll across the ocean.
fourteen years ago tonight
watched him tearing through the garden killing everything in sight.
I let my curiosity get the best of me.
I saw the source-less anger eating at him from inside.
no one around him to stem the rising tide.
evil from his head down to his feet
quinine's bitter.
sugar's sweet.
and blood will run through the streets of Rome today,
and roll across the ocean.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
     
 Island Garden Song, 


        I will sail to the far shore,
and I will chop a hole in the hull too big to repair,
and I will turn the soil with my hands,
and I will make my home there.
my garden will grow so high.
my garden will grow so high.
that I will be completely hidden.
I will go where I will go,
and I will jettison all dead weight,
and I will use these words for kindling,
and I will sleep by the garden gate.
my garden will grow so high.
my garden will grow so high.
that I will be completely hidden.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
The Coroner's Gambit, 


        when death came calling today,
I heard the gentle grace of his cadences.
I couldn't say no.
I couldn't say no.
when he showed me his new silk scarves
laid out on a shiny black plastic tray,
couldn't say, couldn't say, couldn't say, couldn't say, couldn't say no.
I couldn't say no.
and I’m sorry I couldn't.
do you know how badly I wanted to?
didn't want, didn't want, didn't want, didn't want, didn't want to lose you,
but his smile was dazzling mmmm,
and his eyes were sparkling like moonlight on the water at midnight.
couldn't say, couldn't say, couldn't say, couldn't say, couldn't say, couldn't say no.
I couldn't say no.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Baboon, 


        the sun came up above the strange white plain.
blood red flowers all wet with rain
and the spirit wasn't really willing anymore, but the flesh was very very strong.
and I’ve got very little money left, and I’ve got no sense,
but I'll have none of your god damned impudence.
the sun came up above the new white fields,
everything was new again.
pure power, stripped of meaning, sky burning, spring cleaning.
daisies on the hillside like cancer on the skin.
pretty little yellow eyes that flutter in the wind,
I'd be grateful my children aren't here to see this,
if you'd ever seen fit to give me children.
and my defenses may be working with a skeleton crew,
but I'll be skinned alive before I'll take this from you.
the sun came up above the ocean out west,
all the colors of the rainbow.
stand up straight, you can see the house leaning.
day breaking, spring cleaning.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Scotch Grove, 


        on the way home from the party,
neither of us said a word.
leann rimes on the car stereo
sang that song you know I hate.
the one about the blackbird
and the rain came down on the windshield-
I wished it would wash us both away.
you had to open up your mouth, didn't you?
I knew what you were gonna say.
and you were Bluebeard's wife
opening every cupboard, trying to find the smoking gun.
well I told you I told you,
I told you not to open that one.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Horseradish Road, 
        

the way that everybody's voice, comes out muffled when they speak,
the way we take our diminishing inventories,
month to month and
week to week,
the Maria callas records on the stereo all the time
you're gonna get yours and I’m gonna get mine.
'cause in this car, in this car,
somebody's bound to get burned.
I know.
I know.
because I’ve been watching the road turn.
the enigma variations on the radio
the things that I could guess at,
the things that I already know.
and the twelve thousand dollars that turned up in your purse,
you've done something awful.
I’ve done something worse.
and in this car, in this car,
somebody's bound to get burned.
I know.
I know.
because I’ve been watching the road turn.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Family Happiness, 


        as we cruised across the Canadian border
you reached into your handbag, pulled out a micro-cassette recorder,
started quoting Tolstoy into the machine,
I had no idea what you meant.
I guess I’m supposed to figure these things out,
or maybe it's supposed to be self-evident.
but I’ve gone feral,
and I don't speak the language anymore.
we're headed deep into the forest, I’ve got the pedal to the floor.
the engine shudders, like a dying man, when you reach out to grab my hand,
you can bring out all your weapons,
you can't make me go to war.
long winding Canadian highways,
innumerable evergreens.
weather forecast on the AM radio
says we'll be expecting highs in the low teens
when I mouth my silent curses at you,
I can see my breath.
I hope the stars don't even come out tonight.
I hope we both freeze to death.
look at the person I’ve turned into, tell me,
how do you like him now?
no standards of any kind to break, no creeds to disavow
I am right here where you want me
do what you brought me out here for.
you can arm me to the teeth.
you can't make me go to war.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Onions, 


        the last white slabs of snow
melted off seven weeks ago.
and the geese are headed north again
through the tightening sky,
and I can feel my heart in my throat again
new onions growing in the ground.
the cows come gingerly out of the barn,
and when they see that the ground is warm,
they pick up a little speed,
it makes me feel so good,
and I feel it rushing down my throat -- fresh blood,
I head out onto the earth,
its cold heart is melting,
I don't know if I can stand it.
springtime's coming, that means you'll be coming back around.
new onions growing underground, underground.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
'Bluejays and Cardinals', 


        bluejays and cardinals all come out to play
highway traffic gets out of your way
skies clear up if they're overcast.
pit bulls are gentle when you come past.
stars come out of hiding for you
and I would too.
cause this world couldn't hold you
you slipped free
yeah this world couldn't hold you
you slipped free
without me.
new sheen all over everything
when you open up your mouth to sing.
baseballs travel further when you watch them fly.
apples fatten on the trees when you walk by.
you bring something unreplaceable to each and every day.
or you used to anyway.
but this world couldn't hold you
and you slipped free
yeah this world couldn't hold you
and you slipped free
without me.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Shadow Song, 


        if you get there before me, will you save me a seat?
if you get there before me, would you save me a seat?
but if I never get there at all,
would you leave the seat empty?
if you get there before me, will you light us a fire?
if you get there before me, will you light us a fire?
but if I never show,
will you watch the embers glow?
would you keep the fire burning?
this is a song for you, in case I never make it through to where you are.
this is a song for you, in case I never make it through to where you are.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
There Will Be No Divorce, 


        the rain fell all night and it kept me awake
it was still falling by morning.
it was hard to take.
and you were sleeping on the floor,
breathing free and even,.
if I ever want to drive myself insane,
all I have to do is watch you breathing
and at 5 AM, I turned the radio on,
and an old man’s voice sang a short sweet song,
and then the static roared again hungry for blood
I heard the rain falling from the rain spout
down down into the sweet wet mud,
and you punched out all the windows
and the wind began to wail
and you gathered your hair behind your head
like god was gonna catch you by the pony tail,
and then the old voice crackled through the static.
and I felt young and alive
and the hair stood up on the back of my neck
we were rising from the grave, yeah yeah.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Insurance Fraud #2, 


        bag full of oily rags, fifty cent lighter
dreams of retirement in Cancun burning ever brighter
there's a lot of ways to make money in this world
but I can't recommend insurance fraud.
burned out shell of a Volkswagen,
blood stains on the driveway,
torn up Mercedes, by the side of the highway
big plans, big plans
let me tell you something sister,
you will never get away with it.
you were sitting in the recliner with the TV on,
when you said something evil and then you were gone,
explosives in the water main,
a blown fuse
college graduation photograph
splashed all over the six o'clock news
I won't be cashing in your policy,
'til I find out what it is you're trying to do to me.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Alphonse Mambo, 


        I could almost hear the rhythm section
kick in as the sun began to blaze.
I saw you walk across the plaza,
figured I'd just play it like it lays.
yeah yeah yeah.
I think I’m gonna be real sick again.
I think it's gonna happen real soon.
and I know I can't afford another night here in this place,
with its sixteenth floor view of the ocean and the dunes
and it's gonna be, just you and me today,
waiting for the other shoe to drop in Tampa Bay.
I can hear the roar of the crowd
in the stadium a couple of blocks away.
it's the kind of thing that used to get me all worked up,
but I don't want to talk about it now, ok, ok? ok.
I just want to get this whole thing over with.
I don't want to deal with it anymore.
I hear the cogs all slipping at the same time,
and then I see you walk in through the door.
and it's gonna be, just you and me today,
waiting for the other shoe to drop in Tampa Bay.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
We Were Patriots, 


        clear sky over Calcutta -- a warm wind.
Dvorak on the short wave
clear signal coming in
la la la
la la la la la la
la la la
la la la la la la la
long vowels spill like liquid from your mouth.
I hang on every word you say.
an army of transistor radios on the bookshelf left on all day.
let them play, yeah let 'em all play on and on and on.
let 'em all play longer and louder and long after you're gone
la la
la la la la la la
la la
la la la la la
clear sky sheltering our fragile little house
listening to the radio all the time
your hand on my forehead as though to check for a fever
yeah big plans in mind.
la la la la
la la la la la
la la la la
la la la la la la la
la la
la la la la la la
la la
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Shower (outtake), 


        the blackest storm I ever saw
was coming in from Omaha
and the latest news from Tokyo was a lot of ugly numbers
I was checkin' pay phones for forgotten coins
as the clouds came over west Des Moines
got into the house
got the curtains drawn
got into the the shower with all my clothes on
hey! hey! let the water come down!
hey! hey! let the water come down!
by noon it was clear that winter'd come
and I just let the water run
and I got soap suds in my eyes
and it stung like iodine
the phone started ringing like a fire alarm
and the voice on the machine was brutally calm
new numbers coming down the wire
got into the shower with my eyes on fire
hey! hey! let it fall on me,
let it all come down relentlessly!
you swore that you would stick around
when days like this started coming down!
break out the crystal!
get out the good champagne!
we're going down.... in flames.
<> The Coroner's Gambit (2000),
      
Tampa (outtake), 


        my brother and me found out where you keep your ugly secrets hid
we dug up the missing one this morning
I know why you did what you did
yeah we found him naked in the snow
down where the wild crocus grow
and I don't wanna do this anymore
yeah I ain't wanna fight your dirty little war
yeah my brother said not to drop another dime 'cause
he ain't comin' out next time, and you can
soak in a bathtub full of gasoline, but you will
never get your hands clean
yeah the building was glowing, fires were raging within
you ran out to save your own skin
well I probably shouldn't blame you
yeah I probably shouldn't blame you
but by god, I do
and I found the photographs in the top dresser drawer
but I ain't gonna fight your dirty little war
anymore
<> On Juhu Beach (2001),
      
Hotel Road, 


        thirty story hotel overlooking the sea
friends on either arm supporting me
it's hard to walk now
but I will go down somehow
I’m going down the old road
I’m going down the old road
children kick a soccer ball around in the street
kalpadruma trees are melting in the heat
it's hard to walk here
where the waves shine so clear
I’m going down the old road
I’m going down down the old road
above the swollen ocean the burning yellow sun
hits the hotel's Mylar windows catching every one
it's hard to say why
I should come here to die.
I’m going down the old road.
I’m going down the old road.
<> On Juhu Beach (2001),
      
Bad Waves, 


        beachfront hotel, twenty dollars a night
nineteen seventy-two, sun yellow and bright
too exhausted to think or to talk
young boys from Bangladesh breakdancing on the sidewalk
and the waves will tear them all to pieces
the waves will tear them all to pieces.
twinkling Waterford crystal in the banquet hall
childlike religious paintings lining the wall
I will try to gather my strength
and I will rest up all week
all I can say to them now
when I open my mouth to speak
is that the waves will tear us all to pieces
the waves will tear us all to pieces.
<> On Juhu Beach (2001),
      
Transjordanian Blues, 


        this church is rotten from the top down.
this church is rotten from the top down.
but I, I am going to clean house tonight.
and it's going to go back into the earth it rose from.
these walls can't keep the world at bay.
no, these walls can't keep the world at bay.
our time, our time is limited and precious.
but this place, this place is limitless and pernicious.
would you all just follow me out into the open?
leave your coats and handbags, damn it all.
can't you see the floors are smoking?
this church is not long for this world.
this church is not long for this world.
and if you're wondering who to blame,
I want to praise his name with songs and feasting.
follow me to the open field
where the truth will be revealed if you're really listening.
hosanna, hosanna, I am saved by the blood of the lamb.
one day when I was lost, he died on that cross,
and I am saved by the blood of the lamb.
<> On Juhu Beach (2001),
      
Burned My Tongue, 


        woke up this morning about a quarter to five
said the prayer you'd taught me to keep myself alive,
it burned my tongue.
it burned my tongue.
fried some grains in butter,
said a simple grace,
sat down at the table,
fed my greedy face.
it burned my tongue.
it burned my tongue.
looked out at the ocean
I could see it so clear.
said the only name
I can ever stand to hear.
it burned my tongue
it burned my tongue.
when I ask you to sing with me
I wish you'd sing along.
thirty years in this world --
thirty years too long.
it burns my tongue.
it burns my tongue.
you took away my friends.
you took my will to live.
I gave you all I got.
what more have I got to give?
it burns my tongue.
it burns my tongue.
it burns my tongue.
it burns my tongue.
<> On Juhu Beach (2001),
      
World Cylinder, 


        don’t like going to the doctor.
I don't like looking at the mirror.
I like looking out the window,
watching the waves break.
do I have to hit you over the head with it?
do I have to hit you over the head with it?
tired of talking to the suckers,
I’m tired of talking to the wealthy.
I want to talk to men and women
who haven't got anything left.
do I have to hit you over the head with it?
do I have to hit you over the head with it?
carry me down to the water
where I used to play when I was five.
let me go, let me go down to the water.
don't bring me back alive.
do I have to hit you over the head with it?
do I have to hit you over the head with it?
<> Jam Eater Blues (2001),
      
Jam Eater Blues, 


        life is too short to refrain from eating jam out of the jar life is too short to refrain from eating jam out of the jar life is too short to wait around for you to come home tonight life it too short, too short to do that
life is too short to leave the windows open all winter long life is too short to leave the windows open all winter long I'm gonna lock 'em up tight and eat jam out of the jar all night 'cause life is too short to make toast or use spoons or napkins
life is too short to spend the rest of it down here in Tampa life is too short to spend the rest of it down here in Tampa yeah, life is too short to let it go to waste like this but I never tasted jam before that tastes like this and life is too short to refrain from eating jam out of the jar
<> Jam Eater Blues (2001),
      
Store, 


        in the five minutes worth of lost time that I had,
when I was passed out on the supermarket floor,
I saw you at the head of the heavenly chorus.
and I heard your song ringing all through the store.
in the five minutes when my broadcast got pre-empted,
I saw you touch down. you were no longer dead.
I was happy to see ya. I had lots of questions.
and I put my hand to the wound in your head.
ah, the blood!
all of that blood!
all of that warm blood flowing freely from you.
in the five minutes when I was dead to the world,
in a place far away from my friends and my home,
I saw you with a smile on your radiant face,
amidst all of the cans and the glass and the chrome.
and in those five minutes, my signal was jammed.
the frequencies that I received were so pure,
that I almost believed that the sight of the hole in your skull
was a thing that my heart could endure.
ah, the blood!
all of that blood!
all of that warm blood flowing freely from you!
<> Jam Eater Blues (2001),
     
 Straight Six, 


        dull powder blue paint job.
earl scheib special.
dashboard full of talismans to try and push fate.
rabbit skull hanging from the rearview.
six kicking cylinders, lined up straight,
and I ride.
and I glide down the streets of this city all night, uptight.
jenny's on the cellular, high as a kite.
there's a crack in the windshield eighteen inches long.
evaporating snow forming crystals on the chrome.
brand new battery I shoplifted from the pep boys.
full cranking power to bring me on home,
and I ride.
and I glide down the streets of this city all night, uptight.
jenny's on the cellular, high as a kite.
sometimes the moon shines like a beacon to the weary and the sick in spirit.
sometimes... sometimes it's dark.
<> Jam Eater Blues (2001),
      
The Plague (outtake), 


        there will be blue skies
above the green and verdant plain
churns will swell with fresh butter
there will be an abundance of sweet grain
and we will rise from our sleep
we won't have time to choose what things we'll keep
and rivers will all turn to blood
frogs will fall from the sky
and the plague will rage through the countryside
la la la la
la la la la
la la la, la la la, la la la
there will be cotton clouds
above the fields as white as cream
there will be loud singing in the churches
as we all come out to take one for the team
and all our great schemes and plans
will slip like fishes from our hands
and rivers will all turn to blood
frogs will fall from the sky
and the plague will cover the country with its anger
la la la la
la la la la
la la la, la la la, la la la
hey
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
The Best Ever Death Metal Band In Denton, 


the best ever death metal band out of Denton
were a couple of guys, who'd been friends since grade school.
one was named Cyrus, and the other was Jeff.
and they practiced twice a week in Jeff’s bedroom.
the best ever death metal band out of Denton
never settled on a name.
but the top three contenders, after weeks of debate,
were Satan’s fingers, and the killers, and the hospital bombers.
Jeff and Cyrus believed in their hearts they were headed
for stage lights and leer jets, and fortune and fame.
so in script that made prominent use of a pentagram,
they stenciled their drumheads and guitars with their names.
this was how Cyrus got sent to the school
where they told him he'd never be famous.
and this was why Jeff,
in the letters he'd write to his friend,
helped develop a plan to get even.
when you punish a person for dreaming his dream,
don't expect him to thank or forgive you.
the best ever death metal band out of Denton
will in time both outpace and outlive you.
hail Satan!
hail Satan tonight!
hail Satan!
hail hail!
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
The Fall of the Star High School Running Back, 


sophomore year, you rushed for an average of eight and a third yards per carry.
all eyes were on you.
junior year, you blew your knee out at an out of town game.
nowhere to go to but down down down.
nothing but the ground left for you to fall to.
by July, you'd made a whole bunch of brand new friends,
people you used to look down on.
and you'd figured out a way to make real money --
givin' ends to your friends, and it felt stupendous.
chrome spokes on your Japanese bike,
but selling acid was a bad idea.
and selling it to a cop was a worse one.
and the new law said that seventeen year olds could do federal time.
you were the first one, so I sing this song for you,
William Stanaforth Donahue,
your grandfather rode the boat over from Ireland,
but you made a bad decision or two.
yeah.
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Color In Your Cheeks, 
        

she came in on the redeye to Dallas-Fort Worth.
all the way from sunny Taipei.
skin the color of a walnut shell,
and a baseball cap holding down her black hair.
and she came here after midnight.
the hot weather made her feel right at home.
come on in, we haven't slept for weeks.
drink some of this. it'll put color in your cheeks.
he drove from in from Mexicali, no worse for wear.
money to burn, time to kill.
but five minutes looking in his eyes and we all knew he
was broken pretty bad, so we gave him what we had.
we cleared a space for him to sleep in,
and we let the silence that's our trademark
make its presence felt.
come on in, we haven't slept for weeks.
drink some of this. it'll put color in your cheeks.
they came in by the dozens, walking or crawling.
some were bright-eyed.
some were dead on their feet.
and they came from Zimbabwe,
or from soviet, Georgia.
east saint louis, or from Paris, or they lived across the street.
but they came, and when they'd finally made it here,
it was the least that we could do to make our welcome clear.
come on in, we haven't slept for weeks.
drink some of this. it'll put color in your cheeks.

<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Jenny


you roared into the driveway of our southwestern ranch-style house
on a new Kawasaki, all yellow and black
fresh out of the showroom.
our house faced west,
so the big orange sun positioned at your back,
lit up your magnificent silhouette.
how much better?
how much better can my life get?
900 cubic centimeters of raw whining power.
no outstanding warrants for my arrest.
whoa-whoa. whoa whoa.
the pirate's life for me.
I hopped on back of the bike, wrapped my arms around you.
and I sank my face into your hair.
and then I inhaled as deeply as I possibly could.
you were as sweet and delicious as the warm desert air.
and you pointed your headlamp toward the horizon,
we were the one thing in the galaxy god didn't have his eyes on.
900 cc's of raw whining power,
no outstanding warrants for my arrest.
hi diddle dee dee.
god damn!
the pirate's life for me!
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Fault Lines 
        
drink to your heath and you drink to mine
as we try to make the money we scored out in Vegas
hold out for a while.
we drink, vodka from Russia
we get our chocolates from Belgium
we have our strawberries flown in from England.
yeah but none of the money we spend
seems to do us much good in the end.
I’ve got a cracked engine block, both of us do.
yeah the house and the jewels, the Italian race car
they don't make us feel better about who we are.
I’ve got termites in the framework, so do you.
down here where the watermelon grows so sweet
where I worship the ground underneath of your feet,
we are experts in the art of frivolous spending.
and it's gone on like this, for 3 years I guess
and we're drunk all the time and our lives are a mess.
and the deathless love we swore to protect with our bodies
is stumbling across its bleak ending.
but none of the rage in our eyes
seems to finish it off where it lies.
I got sugar in the fuel lines, both of us do.
yeah the fights and the lies that we both love to tell
fail to send our love to its reward down in hell
I got pudding for a backbone, so do you!
la la la la.
hey hey!
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Balance, 
        

two tall glasses of sweet iced tea
underneath the sweetgum tree,
and the love we once nurtured, you and me,
disintegrating violently.
stick your tongue out.
catch the pieces as they drift down the air.
I am too slow to catch them all,
not too far gone to care.
two slow summer hours spent picking at the bones,
figuring the interest on delinquent loans.
speaking in sad and mournful tones,
trying to squeeze tears out of mute stones.
wet your finger.
place it toward the wind.
feel disaster in the air.
we are far too slow to outrun it now.
not too far gone to care.
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Pink and Blue, 


wind out of Oklahoma this morning smelled like blood and smoke.
and the crows discuss their future in the branches of
their Louisiana live oak.
the limbs are strong and heavy and its leaves are all aglow.
and the branches brush the upper air,
but the roots reach down to where the bad people go.
and what will I do with you, pink and blue?
true gold. nine days old.
nice new clothes on you and old cardboard produce box for a cradle.
I mashed some bananas in a coffee cup and
I fed you there at the kitchen table.
crows outside complaining about the finer points of local politics.
strange wind all full of new smells -- rust and fur and reception sticks.
and what will I do with you, pink and blue?
true gold. nine days old.
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Riches and Wonders
        

we live high. our love gorges on the alcohol we feed it.
and it grows all fat and friendly
we have surplus if we need it.
we hold on as hard as we can.
our knuckles are white.
we write letters to each other, invent secrets to confess to.
I learn foreign and exotic terms of endearment by which to address you.
we feed fresh fruit to one another.
we stay up all night.
I am healthy, I am whole, but I have poor impulse control.
and I want to go home.
but I am home.
we are strong, we are faithful,
we are guardians of a rare thing.
we pay close careful attention to the news the morning air brings.
we show great loyalty to the hard times we've been through.
we are filled with riches and wonders,
our love keeps the things it finds.
and we dance like drunken sailors, lost at sea out of our minds.
you find shelter somewhere in me,
I find great comfort in you.
and I keep you safe from harm.
you hold me in your arms, and I want to go home.
but I am home
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
The Mess Inside
        

we took a weekend, drove to Provo.
the snow was white and fluffy.
but a weekend in Utah won't fix what's wrong with us.
the gray sky was vast and real cryptic above me.
I wanted you to love me like you used to do.
we took two weeks in the Bahamas.
went out dancing every night.
tried to fight the creeping sense of dread with temporal things.
most of the time I guess I felt alright.
but I wanted you to love me like you used to do.
but you cannot run
and you cannot hide,
from the wreck we've made of our house,
and from the mess inside.
we went down to New Orleans
one weekend in the spring.
looked hard for what we'd lost.
it was painful to admit it, but we couldn't find a thing.
I wanted you to love me like you used to do.
we went to New York city in September.
took the train out of Manhattan to the grand army stop.
found that bench we'd sat together on a thousand years ago
when I felt such love for you I thought my heart was gonna pop.
I wanted you to love me like you used to do.
but I cannot run.
and I can't hide.
from the wreck we've made of our house.
from the mess inside.
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Jeff Davis County Blues
        

after three nights in jail, I head north from Toyavale.
switch to 285 in Pecos, head up to Red Bluff.
my walk's real steady and my eyes are real cold
but I feel like I’m all of sixteen years old --
lost in the travel lodge, with the television on with the sound down,
I don't feel so tough.
old issues of sunset magazine to read,
sleep for twelve hours, and dream about home.
I have no place to go, so I drive up to new Mexico.
fix my eyes in the rearview when I cross the state line.
and I panic, I guess. and although it's quite late,
I take the first exit to 128.
I am coming back to midland.
I hope you won't mind.
polaroids of the two of us scattered on the passenger's seat.
I drive slowly
and evenly
and I dream about home.
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Distant Stations, 
        

I found an old rock in the dry dirt outside
the door of my motel room.
it was a triangle with soft rounded edges
and a split down the middle of one corner.
it was darker than English moss.
green like the soft frills of a peacock's plume.
I waited for you, but I never told you where I was.
it was you who taught me how to write these kinds of equations.
I waited on the steps for you,
and I hid in the bushes whenever a car pulled into the parking lot.
you taught me how to listen to these distant stations.
distant stations.
I saw the sky break.
I threw a rock at a crow who was playing in the mulch of some rose bushes by the motel office.
missed him by a good yard or two.
I sang old songs from nowhere.
Los Angeles.
Albuquerque.
I said a small prayer for the poor and the naked and the hungry.
and I prayed real hard for you.
I waited for you, but I never told you where I was.
it was you who taught me how to write this kind of equation.
I waited on the steps for you,
and I hid in the bushes whenever a car pulled into the parking lot.
you taught me how to listen to these distant stations.
distant stations.
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Blues in Dallas, 
        

will I see you there when that final trumpet blows?
will I see you there when that final trumpet blows?
if I don't see you there, I will run a comb through my hair.
and I will wait.
I will wait.
I will wait.
will you walk on in when the angel summons you?
will you walk on in when the angel summons you?
if I don't see you go, I will let the minions flow.
and I will wait.
I will wait.
I will wait.
down in Dealey plaza, the tourists mill about.
down in Dealey plaza, the tourists mill about.
and I am far from where we live, and I have not learned how to forgive.
but I will wait.
I will wait.
I will wait.
yeah.
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Source Decay, 
        

once a week
I make the drive
two hours east
to check the Austin post office box
and I take the detour
through our old neighborhood
see all the Chevy Impalas
in their front yards up on blocks
and I park in an alley
and I read through the post cards you continue to send
whereas indirectly as you can
you ask what I remember
I like these tortured devices from my old best friend
well I’ll tell you what I know
like I swore I always would
I don't think it will do you any good
I remember the train headed south out of Bangkok
down toward the water.
I always get a late start
when the sun's going down
and the traffic's filling out
and the glare is hard to take
I wish the west Texas highway was a Mobius strip
I could ride it out for ever
when I feel my heart break
I almost swear I hear it happen
in fact clean and not hard
I come in off the highway and I park in my front yard
fall out of the car
like a hostage from a plane
think of you awhile
start wishing it would rain
and I remember the train heading south out of Bangkok
down, down towards, the water.
come in to the house
put on a pot of coffee
walk the floors a little while
set your postcard on the table
with all the others like it
start sorting through the pile
check the pictures
and the postmarks
and the captions
and the stamps
for a sign of any pattern at all
when I come up empty handed
the feeling almost overwhelms me
I let a few of my defenses fall
and I smile a bitter smile
it is not a pretty sight to see
I think about a railroad platform back in 1983
and I remember the train heading south out of Bangkok
down, down towards, the water.
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Absolute Lithops Effect, 
        

after one long season of waiting,
after one long season of wanting,
I am breaking open.
my insides are pink and raw.
and I hurts me when I move my jaw,
but I am taking tiny steps forward.
and I... I feel sure that my wounds will heal.
and I, I will bloom here in my room.
with a little water.
and a little bit of sunlight.
and a little bit of tender mercy,
tender
mercy.
the big trucks come up the highway.
and the big wheels rattle my windows.
and night, night comes to Texas.
after one blind season alone in here,
after one long sweltering summer,
I, I’m going to find the exit.
and I will go to the house of a friend I know.
and I will let myself forget.
with a little water.
and a little bit of sunlight.
and a little bit of tender mercy,
tender
mercy.
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Hardpan Song (outtake), 
        

the daylily withers heat kills off all the grain just when you think it's never gonna rain the rain comes the rain comes it floods the town kills everybody in it
the dog runs in circles parolees all skip town the heat goes on forever and ever and ever shows no signs of slowing down and then the rain comes the rain comes it shows no signs of stopping
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Answering the Phone (outtake), 
        

maybe I didn't get enough milk when I was a baby maybe I never learned the value of a penny maybe I listened to that first Black Sabbath album, the one with the witch on the front one time too many
I think something's wrong with me I think something's wrong with me I think something's glued-down wrong permanently
maybe it's the things I never learned how to do maybe it's the things I learned to do real well maybe it's the Irish whiskey that I like to drink maybe it's the California Zinfandel
But I think something's wrong with me I think something's glued-down wrong, maybe permanently
I
I'm gonna tell you once, you oughta listen you came here for comfort, you came to the wrong place I got a strong stomach and a murmur in my heart I got a tremor in my hand, muscle twitches in my face and I think something's wrong with me I think something's snapped-on wrong, maybe permanently Yup
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Indonesia (outtake), 
        

the summer came in carrying spring in its mouth held it up for everyone to see this is the time when all our plans and schemes melt down into listless anarchy historically, anyway, that's been the case but this year there's a new pink sheen on your face like the color of a secret flower that grows tall and moist and incorruptible
Indonesia Indonesia
the season tunneled forward like a moth through grain its hunger was an all-consuming mindless thing and you slept for twelve to fourteen hours at a stretch I wondered what the weather in the fall was gonna bring and then you said you dreamt of cowboys that were zombies in disguise well, I knew fall was never coming, it was written on your eyes like the mist that hangs there in the air on the mountainside where rare and nameless flowers grow
in Indonesia Indonesia
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Midland (outtake), 


        come and stay with me as long as you like I live outside of town where the straight highway curves for three years I lived next door to the airport so nothing you can say to me can get on my nerves
stay 'til you feel your legs underneath you again I've got room in my house for you
I got a Kenmore single room window unit air conditioner cools down the place in the full heat of day and a family of possums have made their home underneath the front steps they are majestic in their own beady-eyed homey way
stay until you can breathe like normal people do I've got room in my house for you
they tore down the airport in 1981 this is where I came when I ran out of places to run
come, come, come and stay with me out here away from things
come and stay with me where the sky's real clear I live way out where no one believes anybody could live sky's purple from six in the evening 'til midnight out here stay 'til the world goes down in flames I've got room, room in my house for you
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
     
 Tape Travel Is Lonely (outtake), 


        peppers on the plants plums, tomatoes ripening on the vine midsummer evenings on the back porch barbecued sweet corn, sweet white wine
when the west wind comes through, it'll rip right through you when the west wind comes through, it'll rip right through you
bottle after bottle of the cheap stuff feeling two degrees north of all right heaven help us, heaven help us we're all gonna die tonight
when the west wind comes through, it'll rip right through you when the west wind comes through, it'll rip right through you
party goes on 'til the end of August the tensions build, the air currents throb mosquitoes suck the blood out of my body why don't they finish the job
when the west wind comes through, it'll rip right through you when the west wind comes through, it'll rip right through you
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Waco (outtake), 


        Where the dry dust turns the sunset pink Where all summer long, it's so hot that you can't think straight Where we pump water from a well by hand Half a world away from the old promised land We understand that we've been given A new covenant, a real sharp one And we spend our days and nights Gaining new appreciation of its finer points
And waiting for the dead To rise up from their graves Waiting for Jesus To come along and save us And biding our time Biding our time Biding our time as best we know how
Where the Texas doughboys used to play Before the wind blew everything away Where we came to get away from our friends Where we tell each other jokes waiting for the world to end We know our jokes are funny But in all the wrong ways And we rent old George Romero movies Relish the short time left
Waiting for the dead To rise up from their graves Waiting for Jesus To come along and save us Yes, and biding our time Biding our time Biding our time as best we know how
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Song for God (outtake), 


        neighbor kids running across the front yard this evening
sun going down, wind gathering strength
the state I live in is the largest of its kind
it takes two days or better to walk across its length
if you try to come and find me, I will know you're coming
there's an old fallout shelter I can hide in
I won't even be able to hear their hoofbeats
when the horsemen ride in
another mild winter, time seems to stand still
sky swallows up the city like a tent
young breezes' razor patterns in the dust
no way of saying what they're supposed to represent
I have come to where I've come to now
always abiding in you
if you try to find me now I'll be invisible to everything when
the horsemen come riding on through
<> All Hail West Texas (2002)
      
Warm Lonely Planet (outtake), 


        let the stars come out, and the moon shine bright
we're sleeping on the porch tonight
wind blew all the power lines down
watch where you step if you go walking around
this may be the night
our bodies fill with light
and we may hover above
the surface of
our warm, lonely planet
let cooling rains come, let them fall
let the grass grow strong and tall
let the dandelions breed
give me what you know I need
this may be the night
our bodies fill with light
and we may hover above
the surface of
our warm, lonely planet
<> Devil in the Shortwave (2002),
      
Crows, 


        well I went way out North Carolina way
to that old graveyard where my great grandmother lay
and the day was bright and I hadn't slept all night
and they sold the place to some guys who were building graduate student housing
no one raised any objections
they were knocking the headstones down
and the sun was high when I rolled into town
stood by a nameless hole in the ground
the air was sweet and hot
maybe it was the right grave,
maybe not
but the crows crows crows
rose, rose, rose from the grave
Yeah the crows crows crows
rose, rose, rose from the grave
<> Devil in the Shortwave (2002),
      
Genesis 19:1-2, 


        the girl who'd been haunting your dreams all your life
the butcher from Brooklyn, the butcher's wife
the girl who kissed you in the seventh grade
her and all the others lined up behind the gate
the two angels came to Sodom in the evening
when the sun up in the sky was bleeding all over you
and you had your camera
and you had your felt tip
and you had some money
and you had everything you needed
the two angels came to Sodom in the evening
we saw you coming up the boulevard
the two angels came to Sodom in the evening
when the sun was bleeding all over you
<> Devil in the Shortwave (2002),
     
 Yoga, 


        we had our passports out and the kits to fix 'em up with.
and the hurricane lamp cast our shadows on the ceiling.
I watched 'em box with one another like punch and Judy.
it was dangerous and delightful.
it was that kind of feeling
when you said you were sure there was nothing standing in our way.
and the lie ran off and hid itself in the alleys all around Bombay.
I saw you knock the lamp over while reaching for the scissors
and I wondered how we'd ever get by without it.
and you fell into my arms, sweet and gentle.
poison in the water.
little doubt about it.
and you said that one of us would be all alone someday.
and the truth of it echoed inexhaustibly all across Bombay.
la la la.
<> Devil in the Shortwave (2002),
      Commandante, 
        I’m gonna drink more whiskey than Brendan Behan.
and I’m gonna send my belongings all to Tripoli.
and I’m gonna ride home to California
with a banjo on my knee.
I’m never gonna turn off the television.
I’m just gonna let it run all night.
I’m gonna plant root vegetables out in the backyard
and come summer I am going to treat you right.
so put on your chairman Mao coat
and let me clear my throat.
let's turn this whole town upside-down
and shake it 'til the coins come falling out of its pockets,
yeah put on your Che Guevara pin
call the troops on in
we're gonna sail through the night sky like a pair of bottle rockets.
I got a great big secret written down somewhere.
I got a rosary to protect us both from harm.
I got a storage locker full of cow figurines
and a laundry list of grievances longer than my arm.
and I am never going back to Cincinnati.
all those bridges have burned down to the ground.
I got the jet pack strapped to my back
and I am waiting for you to come around.
yeah, put on your chairman Mao coat
and let me clear my throat.
let's turn this whole place upside-down
and shake it 'til the coins come dropping out of its pockets.
yeah put on your Che Guevara pin
call the troops on in.
we're gonna sink through the night sky like a pair of bottle rockets.
<> Devil in the Shortwave (2002),
      Poltergeist (outtake), 
        I can't stand it when you tell our infant son
that he was born beneath a bad sign
and I can't stand it when smiles up at you
just because you're his mother
and I can't stand the bitter thing that I've become
between the four walls that hold up our ceiling
and I wonder when the house gets real quiet
who between us will be the first one to give into the feeling
and I know, I know you don't want me to hurt you tonight
and I, I don't want you to hurt me the way you do
I can't stand it when you put the boy to bed and you
sing him those songs I used to sing to you
yeah I can't stand to hear you sing those songs
when you know you don't mean them
and I can't stand the way my body still remembers
how much we used to mean to one another way back when
and I can't stand going back to seek the shelter of your arms
and then I can't stand it again
and I know, I know you don't want me to hurt you tonight
and I, I don't want you to hurt me the way you do
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Tallahassee, 
        window facing an ill-kept front yard
plums on the tree heavy with nectar
prayers to summon the destroying angel
moon stuttering in the sky like film stuck in a projector
and you
you
twin prop airplanes passing loudly overhead
road to the airport two lanes clear
half the whole town gone for the summer
terrible silence coming down here
and you
you
there is no deadline
there is no schedule
there is no plan we can fall back on
the road this far can't be retraced
there is no punch line anybody can tack on
there are loose ends by the score
what did I come down here for?
you
you
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      First Few Desperate Hours, 
        bad luck comes in from Tampa
bad luck comes in from Tampa
on the back of a truck
doing ninety up the interstate
we have bad dreams the night he rolls in
we have bad dreams the night he rolls in
and we try to keep our sprits high
but they flag and they wane
when the truck pulls up out front
in the light spring rain
and they sag like withering flowers
let the good times roll on
through these first few desperate hours
yeah the driver drops his cargo at the curb
the driver drops his cargo at the curb
and the sun peeks in
like a killer through the curtain
and when cloven hoof prints turn up in the garden
yeah when cloven hoof prints turn up in the garden
we keep up the good fight
we keep our spirits light
but they draw like flies
and there's a stomach-churning shift
in the way the land lies
and they lean like towers
on a hillside struggling to stand
through these first few desperate hours
yeah
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Southwood Plantation Road, 
        I’ve got you
you've got whatever's left of me to get
our conversations are like minefields
no one's found a safe way through one yet
I spend a lot of money
I buy you white gold
we raise up a little roof
against the cold
on Southwood plantation road
where at night the stars blow like milk across the sky
where the high wires drop
where the fat crows fly
all night long you giggle and scream
your brown eyes deeper than a dream
I am not going to lose you
we are going to stay married
in this house like a Louisiana graveyard
where nothing stays buried
on Southwood plantation road
where the dead will walk again
put on their Sunday best
and go with unsuspecting Christian men
la la la la la
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Game Shows Touch Our Lives, 
        dug up a fifth of hood river gin
that stuff tastes like medicine
but I’ll take it
it'll do
on the couch in the living room all day long
music on the television playing our song
and I’m in the mood
the mood for you
turn the volume up real high
all of that money look at it fly
and you smoking like a chimney
shadows crawled across the living room's length
I held onto you with a desperate strength
with everything with everything in me
and I handed you a drink of the lovely little thing
on which our survival depends
people say friends don't destroy one another
what do they know about friends?
thunderclouds forming cream white moon
everything's going to be okay soon
maybe tomorrow
maybe the next day
carried you up the stairs that night
all of this could be yours if the price is right
I heard cars headed down to oblivion
up on the expressway
your drunken kisses as light as the air
maybe everything that falls down eventually rises
our house sinking into disrepair
ah but look at this showroom filled with fabulous prizes
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      The House That Dripped Blood, 
        look beyond the broken bottles
past the rotting wooden stairs
root out the wine-dark honeyed center
not everyone can live like millionaires
look through the air-thin walls
tear up the floorboards strip the paint
go over every inch of space
with the patience of a saint
grab your hat get your coat
the cellar door is an open throat
look past the kitchen cabinets
go through the chest of drawers
scrutinize the casements
rip the varnish off the doors
dig up the laughing photographs
they're here somewhere or other
take what you can carry
but let me tell you brother
still waters go stagnant
bodies bloat
and the cellar door is an open throat
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Idylls of the King, 
        this place with its old plantations
these roads leading out to the sea
this day full of promise and potential
more clay pigeons for you and me
all of them all of them
all of them all of them
all of them all of them all of them all of them
all lined up
huge crows loitering by the curb
our shared paths unraveling behind us like ribbons
and I dreamed of vultures
in the trees around our house
and cicadas and locusts
and the shrieking of innumerable gibbons
all of them all of them
all of them all of them
all of them all of them all of them all of them
all lined up
how long will we ride this wave out?
how long 'til someone caves under the pressure?
my dreams are haunted by armies armies of ghosts
faces too blurry to make out
numbers far too high to measure
your face like a vision straight out of holly hobby
late light drizzling through your hair
your eyes twin volcanoes
bad ideas dancing around in there
all all of them all of them
all of them all of them
all of them all of them all of them all of them
all lined up
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      No Children, 
        I hope that our few remaining friends
give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a failsafe plot
to piss off the dumb few that forgave us
I hope the fences we mended
fall down beneath their own weight
and I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it's already too late
and I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
someday burns down
and I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
and I never come back to this town
again in my life
I hope I lie
and tell everyone you were a good wife
and I hope you die
I hope we both die
I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises
we're pretty sure they're all wrong
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
and I hope you blink before I do
yeah I hope I never get sober
and I hope when you think of me years down the line
you can't find one good thing to say
and I’d hope that if I found the strength to walk out
you'd stay the hell out of my way
I am drowning
there is no sign of land
you are coming down with me
hand in unlovable hand
and I hope you die
I hope we both die
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      See America Right, 
        I was driving up from Tampa
when the radiator burst
I was three sheets to the wind
a civilian saw me first
and then there was the cop
and then the children standing on the corner
your love is like a cyclone in a swamp
and the weather's getting warmer
I was getting out of jail
heading to the greyhound
you said you'd hop on one yourself
and meet me on the way down
I was shaking way too hard to think
dead on my feet about to drop
went and got the case of vodka from a car
and walked the two miles to the bus stop
got on the bus half-drunk again
the driver glared at me
met up with you in ingles
thumbed a ride to cedar key
if we never make it back to California
I want you to know I love you
but my love is like a dark cloud full of rain
that's always right there up above you
hey!
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Peacocks, 
        I hear them squeal
I see them preen
fans all spread out
neat and clean
grab hold of the morning
head out to the porch
feel the wind stopping
feel the sun scorch
I fear for my safety
you can see it in my eyes
in an hour or two
we will rise
then a sharp breeze kicks up
I hug myself hard
how come there's peacocks in the front yard?
sun's all prickly
on my neck
when the helicopter passes
we both hit the deck
hands grasping and groping
seizing opportunity
right where it lies
the sky will fall
we will rise
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      International Small Arms Traffic Blues, 
        my love is like a powder keg
my love is like a powder keg in the corner of an empty warehouse
somewhere just outside of town
about to burn down
my love is like a Cuban plane
my love is like a Cuban plane flying from Havana
up the Florida coast to the 'glades
soviet made
our love is like the border between Greece and Albania
our love is like the border between Greece and Albania
trucks loaded down with weapons
crossing over every night
moon yellow and bright
there is a shortage in the blood supply
but there is no shortage of blood
the way I feel about you baby can't explain it
you got the best of my love
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Have to Explode, 
        tile floor of the bathroom
scrubbed clean and bright
checkerboard white and grey
towels from the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Kingston Jamaica
I can still see the rust colored stains today
the stage is set
someone's going to do something someone else will regret
I speak in smoke signals and you answer in code
the fuse will have to run out sometime
something here will eventually have to explode
have to explode
you and me lying on the tile floor
trying to keep cool
restless all night
sweating out the poison
as the temperature climbs
staring up up at the hundred-watt light that burns above
name one thing about us two anyone could love
we roll out the red carpet
when rotten luck comes down the road
five four three two one
watch for the flash
something here will eventually have to explode
have to explode
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Old College Try, 
        from the housetops to the gutters
from the ocean to the shore
the warning signs have all been bright and garish
far too great in number to ignore
from the cities to the swamplands
from the highways to the hills
our love has never had a leg to stand on
from the aspirins to the cross-tops to the elevils
but I will walk down to the end with you
if you will come all the way down with me
from the entrance to the exit
is longer than it looks from where we stand
I want to say I’m sorry for stuff I haven't done yet
things will shortly get completely out of hand
I can feel it in the rotten air tonight
in the tips of my fingers
in the skin on my face
in the weak last gasp of the evening's dying light
in the way those eyes I’ve always loved illuminate this place
like a trashcan fire in a prison cell
like the searchlights in the parking lots of hell
I will walk down to the end with you
if you will come all the way down with me
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Oceanographer's Choice, 
        well
guy in a skeleton costume
comes up to the guy in the superman suit
runs through him with a broadsword
I flipped the television off
bring all the bright lights up
turn the radio up loud
I don't know why I’m so persuaded
that if I think things through
long enough and hard enough
I’ll somehow get to you
but then you came in and we locked eyes
you kicked the ashtray over as we came toward each other
stubbed my cigarette out against the west wall
quickly lit another
look at that
would you look at that?
we're throwing off sparks
what will I do when I don't have you
to hold onto in the dark?
yes
everybody's going to need a witness
everybody's going to need a little backup
in case the scene gets nasty
you throw the attic window open
and I throw myself all around you
and night comes to Tallahassee
I don't know why it's gotten harder to keep myself away
thought I’d finally beat the feeling back
it all came back today
and then we fell down
and we locked arms
we knocked the dresser over as we rolled across the floor
I don't mean it when I tell you
that I don't love you any more
look at that
would you look at that?
the way the ceiling starts to swerve
what will I do when I don't have you
when I finally get what I deserve?
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Alpha Rats Nest, 
        ah the lengthening hours in the refinery
belching fire into the sky
we do our best vampire routines
as we suck the dying hours dry
the night is lovely as a rose
if I see sunlight hit you
I am sure that we'll both decompose
ah the fitful sleep and the fire engines
that I dream of when I dream
some day we'll both wake up for good
I will try hard not to scream
the evening wind will shake the blinds
you're stirring from your slumber
we've got something hateful on our minds
oh sing sing sing
for the dying of the day
sing for the flames that will rip through here
and the smoke that will carry us away
yeah sing for the damage we've done
and the worse things that we'll do
open your mouth up and sing for me now
and I will sing for you
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Going to Federal Prison (outtake), 
        I grab hold of your hand
bring it up to my mouth
we're gonna run out of land
we're gonna run out of land
if we keep heading south
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Ethiopians (outtake), 
        window mounted air conditioning unit
humming like a hive
we want to send postcards to the friends we used to have
rub their noses in the ugly fact that we are still alive
and we play lovers' reggae
on accordion and banjo when the moon is high
and we lie on the floor
get suspicious of the people who've just moved in next door
the bad taste in our mouths
the twinkle in your eye
good things never last
bad things never die
wind chime from Tahiti that we found down at the auction
tolls its minor chord
and I can't think of one thing in this whole wide blessed world
that's more dangerous and frightening than you when you get bored
and we go through scads of money
don't know where it comes from, don't know where it goes
and we stare out the window
see the poison flowers the neighbors grow
sprouting up in nice neat rows
the swelling in our limbs
the twinkle in your eye
good things never last
bad things never die
<> Tallahassee (2002),
      Alpha Chum Gatherer (outtake), 
        rise up real early shaking
try and steady my hand
make my way down to the water
sail a half a mile from land
see where the sharks have been feeding
out on the ocean alone
and I scrutinize the carnage
like it was the goddamn Rosetta stone
when I crack
that secret code
it's sure to lighten my load
won’t you come out sailing with me
into the warmth of the afternoon
scoop up the guts and brains
drizzle them into a plastic bag
watch them drop onto the deck
feel the day drag
and when I get back to the car
it's like a furnace inside
I head on down the highway
throttle open wide
back home in the high heat
I spill out all my presents for you
there's blood all over the floor now
what are we going to do
won't you come out sailing with me
into the warmth
warmth of the afternoon
<> See America Right (2002),
      New Chevrolet in Flames, 
        we were drinking Colorado bulldogs
when inspiration struck
and we knew it was high time
for us to change our own luck
we cracked a couple coca colas open
mixed them up with vodka and some coffee liqueur
poured in some cold milk and raised our glasses high to old friends
my love for you is ninety-eight percent pure.
but the two percent that remains
has fried the circuits in my brain.
I got out my smoking jacket.
you put on some fishnets and your smart black beret,
we cut quite a figure in the mirror
and then we were on our way.
oh would that you would kiss me
with the kisses of your mouth.
cause your mouth is sweeter than wine
and has a more complicated history than the American south.
as the evening
took us in
you could've popped the tension
with a safety pin.
we went down to Pete Brown Chevrolet,
cause Pete Brown satisfies all your new car needs.
we were nicely oiled by then
our internal transponders picking up satellite feeds
from well-worn ancient places.
our eager young sales rep handed us the keys.
we drove about three quarters of a mile,
all that's left for us now are moments like these.
we parked behind the high school away from the light.
and the flames climbed high into the night.
<> See America Right (2002),
      Design Your Own Container Garden, 
        I took to the highway, went out to Pico-Crenshaw.
old friends, old friends.
I took to the highway.
the highway took to me like a second skin.
rolled around in the evening, circling like a buzzard.
trouble in mind.
excavating the space we left behind.
yes I took trinkets with me. left them by the crater.
here ghosts, old ghosts.
smelled all the chlorine. I took the low road where the light was just right.
crawled around in the glowing. all embracing wreckage.
sunburned and snow-blind.
excavating the space we left behind.
<> Bedside Recordings 1.2 (2003),
      Soft Targets, 
        you cry when you get drunk and I can't find the right things to say sooner or later you'll start breaking plates and I’ll do what I can to stay out of your way
there is nobody innocent here I’ve got more blood on my hands than you do it's you and it's me and the baby makes three yeah, but we've got our love to carry us through we've got our love to carry us through
I cry when I’m hungry something is wrong with my brain and the ghost of our future's awake in the attic he moans and he wails as he rattles his chains
we embrace on the floor in the kitchen emissaries from neighboring lands when I hunt down the vampire that did this to us I will rip out his heart with my hands I will rip out his heart with my hands
<> Bedside Recordings 1.2 (2003),
      All Devils Here Now (outtake), 
        on humid evenings you have heard
your neighbors making noises
that you wonder for awhile about
and then put off investigating
shrieks and squeals and high-pitched whines and we
we are your neighbors
in hazy afternoons you've watched
your neighbors come and go
and maybe stay away a day or two
and then return appearing worse for wear
scratched up and hollow-eyed, you tried
your best to ignore us
you see us at the grocery store
you wonder what we're shopping for
we lean against the Thermador
eyes fixed firmly on the floor
pomona's big as all outdoors and we
we are your neighbors
<> Bedside Recordings 1.2 (2003),
      Scavenger Babies (outtake), 
        wake up all the birds of prey
dig your tools out from the clay
seal the exits of your room
watch the cactus flowers bloom
and send my regards to the boys down on the corner
yeah, send my regards to the boys down on the corner
build a house from sticks and mud
listen to the poison singing in your blood
pull yourself a call to drink
carve your initials in the bathroom sink
and send my regards to the boys down on the corner
yeah, send my regards to the boys down on the corner
the city of Norwalk in my dreams
rises like Atlantis from a watery grave
burn the things you have to burn
save all the people you're supposed to save
and send my belongings to the drop box in Tijuana
and send my regards to the boys down on the corner
<> Bedside Recordings 1.2 (2003),
      Cut Off Their Thumbs #1 (outtake), 
        you sprung out on the bed where we lean against the wall.
down among the dregs out where the yellow spiders crawl.
the telephone is broken and the drapes have all been closed.
hands up! who doesn't know exactly where this story goes?
I’m gonna kill everybody in this room.
I’m gonna kill everybody in this room.
how has it come to this? well I haven't got a clue.
you looking up at me and us two lowering down at you.
wind shakes the palm trees with an escalating fury.
face the judge or take your chances with the jury.
I’m gonna kill everybody in this room.
I’m gonna kill everybody in this room.
let's have a little music on this hazy afternoon.
let's hope the tension in here finds it's resolution soon.
radio on the windowsill, old white moon above.
god watches over children and he cares for fools in love.
I’m gonna kill everybody in this room.
I’m gonna kill everybody in this room.
<> Palmcorder Yajna (2003),
      Butter Teeth, 
        we spilled out through the front door
into the blinding late light
sun reflected on the storefront windows
tremendously bright
we were Norwegians come down from the north
attacking the walls of the fortress
I was permanently at the point of exhaustion
you were gorgeous
who's here? just us
nobody else around
stray electrical currents
trying to find the ground
we haunted the walls of the pharmacy
artlessly shoplifting random things
pain killers, cough syrup, tiger balm
bubble gum, cigarettes, and shower curtain rings
we were Portuguese warships cresting the waves
cannons raised ready to dock
you were counting down the hours and the minutes
I was trying to find a way of stopping the clock
<> Palmcorder Yajna (2003),
      Snakeheads, 
        weather sailed from northern Canada
do in before the afternoon is over
brown cows in the fields
eating their way slowly through the clover
and the canopy of apple trees before us
symmetrical and pure as a pagoda
me and Lee Chong from Chicago in a U-Haul
headed out through western Minnesota
headed for the islands
headed for the islands
our load is heavy, you can hear it shifting
say what you like I’m never gonna stop
everyone will eat when we've arrived
white apple blossoms soften up the blacktop
two days from now we'll get to where we're going
the western sky will pitch correct it's whining
our cargo's gonna spill out from the cabin
and rub it's eyes and see the silver lining
yeah yeah
headed for the islands
headed for the islands
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Slow West Vultures, 
        breaking the signal
so it's totally unreadable
drinking the dregs
eating the utterly inedible
we do what we do
all for you
all dressed up
black hat and white cane
slowly the circling the drain
ready for the future
ready for the world about to come
shooting the sequel before the treatment's even finished
sanding numbers off the monojects
as our slight returns diminish
we are what we are
get in the goddamn car
smiling faces flawlessly rehearsed
we are sleek and beautiful
we are cursed
ready for the future
ready for the world about to come
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Palmcorder Yajna, 
        holt boulevard
between Gary and White
hooked up with some friends at the Travelodge
set ourselves up for the night
carpenter ants in the dresser
flies in the screen
it will be too late by the time we learn
what these cryptic symbols mean
and I dreamt of a house
haunted by all you tweakers with your hands out
and the headstones climbed up the hills
and the headstones climbed up the hills
send somebody out for soda
comb through the carpet for clues
reflective tape on our sweatpants
big holes in our shoes
every couple minutes someone says he can't stand it any more
laugh lines on our faces
scale maps of the ocean floor
and I dreamt of a camera
pointing out from inside the television
and the aperture yawning and blinking
and the headstones climbed up the hills
if anybody comes to see me
tell 'em they just missed me by a minute
if anybody comes in to our room while we're asleep
I hope they incinerate everybody in it
and I dreamt of a factory
where they manufactured what I needed
using shiny new machines
and the headstones climbed up the hills
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Linda Blair Was Born Innocent, 
        gentle hum of the old machines
here we come scrubbed and scoured
patches on our jeans
when the drone sounds
in the cool night wind
we pick up the call
kick all the traces in
hungry for love
ready to drown
so tie down the sails
we're going downtown
great big drain on the power grid
you may not like Tate’s methods
but you've got to admit
she's a real nice kid
we walk light
down the wires
higher than weather balloons
empty hearts on fire
hungry for love
ready to drown
so tie down the sails tonight
we're going downtown
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Letter From Belgium, 
        martin calls to say he's sending old electrical equipment
that's good we can always use some more electrical equipment
in the cold clear light of day down here
everyone's a monster
that's cool with all of us
we've been past the point of help since early April
Susan and her notebook
freehand drawings of Lon Chaney
blueprints for geodesic domes
recopies for cake
yeah we're all here
chewing our tongues off
waiting for the fever to break
when we walk out in the sunlight we tell every we know it hurts our eyes
when the real reason we don't like it is that it makes us wonder if we're dying
and martin's found an old trunk full of stage makeup in the basement
and he's sending it along
we can always use more makeup
yeah more creams and powders
and Carrie's got the feeling
that the people next door
will close in like a wolf pack
should we make one small mistake
yeah we're all here
chewing our tongues off
waiting for the fever to break
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      The Young Thousands, 
        boats ease into the harbor bearing real suspicious cargo
and the sunlight on the water
sets a switch off in your brain
the things that you've got coming will consume you
there's someone waiting out there in an alley with a chain
the ghosts that haunt your building are prepared to take on substance
and the dull pain that you live with isn't getting any duller
there's a closet full of almost-pristine videotape
documenting sordid little scenes in living color
here they come
the young thousands
here they come
the young thousands
you drive east from the ocean with both hands tied on the wheel
and you go past garden grove
as the pleasure index rises
the things that you've got coming will do things that you're afraid to
there is someone waiting out there with a mouthful of surprises
the ghosts that haunt your building have been learning how to breathe
they scan the hallways nightly vainly searching for a sign
there must be diamonds somewhere in a place that stinks this bad
there are brighter things than diamonds coming down the line
here they come
the young thousands
here they come
the young thousands
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Your Belgian Things, 
        the men were here to get your Belgian things
they'll store them for you in an airplane hangar
there's guys in biohazard suits
mud kicking on their rubber boots
they've come to keep your pretty things from danger
the men were here to get your Belgian things
they'll spend the whole day hauling them downstairs
I shot a roll of thirty-two exposures
my camera groans beneath the weight it bears
I can see you in my sleep
playing the points for all you're worth
walking gingerly across the bruised earth
the men were here to get your Belgian things
they waltzed right through the door and went fluorescent
their boots were black and shiny and your treasures gleamed like stars
bones from deep down in the fertile crescent
the arteries are clogging in the mainframe
there's too much information in the pipes
I saw the mess you left up in the east bedroom
a tiger's never gonna change its stripes
I guess
I guess but Jesus what a mess
one way in and no way out
the men were here to get your Belgian things
and only I was here to see them do it
I wish you had a number where you are
it's hard with no one here to help me through it
I can see you in my sleep
playing the points for all you're worth
walking gingerly across the bruised earth
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Mole, 
        I came to see you up there in intensive care
they had handcuffed you to your bed
there were tubes going into you and out from you
bright white gauze bandages at your head
I am a mole
sticking his head above the surface of the earth
I am a mole
sticking his head above the surface of the earth
and they said lights out
and it was lights out
and they gave you your medication
I know what you want and you know what I want
information
information
I am a mole
sticking his head above the surface of the earth
I am a mole
sticking his head above the surface of the earth
out in the desert we'll have no worries
out in the desert just you and me
I came to see you up there in intensive care
out in the desert we'll live carefree
I am a mole
sticking his head above the surface of the earth
I am a mole
sticking his head above the surface of the earth
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Home Again Garden Grove, 
        wipe down the windshields and roll down the windows
let's go where the jackals are breeding
wrap this bandanna around your head
don't let anyone see that you're bleeding
fire up the scanner and keep your eyes on it
don't speak unless someone speaks to you
hands in your pockets and sun on your face
the warm love of god coursing through you
home again
home again
garden grove
garden grove
I can remember when we were in high school
our dreams were like fugitive warlords
plotting triumphant returns to the city
keeping tec-9's tucked under the floorboards
ah
now we are practical men of the world
we tether our dreams to the turf
and cruise down these alleys for honey to feed them
jellyfish riding the surf
shoving our heads straight into the guts of the stove
home again
garden grove
garden grove
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      All Up The Seething Coast, 
        I eat a couple milky ways for breakfast
I take my coffee light and sweet
show up for dinner when you tell me to
I heap the sugar high and white on everything I eat
carry an apple in my pocket
I write reminders on my skin
clip meaningless pictures from old magazines
I tape them to the walls
it's a bad place I’m in
and nothing you can say or do will stop me
and a thousand dead friends can't stop me
I go back to places I remember
see what's been going on without me
stare down the strangers at the bus stop
pretend they've been gossiping about me
white sugar by the spoonful
cantaloupes and grapes and watermelons
I force it down like it was medicine
anybody asks you tell 'em what you want to tell 'em
but the best you've got is powerless against me
all your little schemes break when they come crashing up against me
ahh
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Quito, 
        when I receive the blessing I’ve got coming
I’m going to raise an ice-cold glass of water
and toast the living and the dead who've gone before me
and my head will throb like an old wound reopening
when I get off the bus down there my children
they all are going to greet me at the station
like gypsies they will dance around me
and the choral droning sound their voices make will saturate the evening
when I get off the wheel I’m going to stop
and make amends to everyone I’ve wounded
and when I wave my magic wand
those few who've slipped the surly bonds will rise like salmon at the spawning
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Cotton, 
        this song is for the rats
who hurled themselves in to the ocean
when they saw that the explosives in the cargo hold
were just about to blow
this song is for the soil
that's toxic clear down to the bedrock
where no thing of consequence can grow
drop your seeds there
let them go
let them all go
let 'em all go
this song is for the people
who tell their families that they're sorry
for things they can't and won't feel sorry for
and once there was a desk
and now it's in a storage locker somewhere
and this song is for the stick pins and the cottons
I left in the top drawer
let 'em all go
let 'em all go
I wanna sing one for the cars
that are right now headed silent down the highway
and it's dark and there is nobody driving
and something has got to give
I saw you waiting by the roadside
you didn't know that I was watching
now you know
let it all go
let 'em all go
let it all go
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Against Pollution, 
        when I worked down at the liquor store
guy with a shotgun came raging through the place
muscled his way behind the counter
I shot him in the face
this morning I went down to the catholic church
'cause something just came over me
forty-five minutes in the pews
praying the rosary
when the last days come
we shall see visions
more vivid than sunsets
brighter than stars
we will recognize each other
and see ourselves for the first time
the way we really are
decorative grating on my window
gets a little rustier every year
I don't know how the metal gets rusty
when it never rains here
a year or so ago I worked at a liquor store
and a guy came in
tried to kill me so I shot him in the face
I would do it again
I would do it again
when the last days come
we shall see visions
more vivid than sunsets
brighter than stars
we will recognize each other
and see ourselves for the first time
the way we really are
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Pigs That Rain Straightaway Into the Water, Triumph Of, 
        you're gonna send me back to where I came from
please don't send me back to where I came from
let me go where the white magnolias grow
you're gonna fit me for that orange jumpsuit
please don't fit me for that orange jumpsuit
let me ride where the dragonflies glide
yeah but you're going to do what you wanna do
no matter what I ask of you
you think you hold the high hand
I’ve got my doubts
I come from chino where the asphalt sprouts
big bus headed southeast from the courthouse
but I’m not headed southeast from the courthouse
let some mysterious chunk of space debris
puncture the roof and set me free
and even if I have to go to Claremont
well I guess I’ll just have to go to Claremont
let me go
let me lie low
yeah but you're going to do what you wanna do
no matter what I ask of you
and you send your dark messengers to tempt me
I come from chino so all your threats are empty
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Deserters (outtake), 
        the neighbors are cloning themselves
we found their cocoons in the garbage
we'll either stay high forever, crash in or out or two
sleeping the sleep of the blessed
picking through trashcans with you
the guy on TV. is a prophet
you just have to look in his eyes
we'll either turn our lives over to Christ or
We'll just drift off
trying to better ourselves
giving up after one or two tries
the high school's a front for the yakuza
everyone, everyone knows it
we will all shortly be richer than god if we'll just hold on
as long as we play all our cards right
as long as nobody here blows it
I've drawn up a map of the autumn
the holding tanks full for the night
I heard all about it on vitizen's band
it's a brand new day
we'll be awake until Thursday
the future's disarmingly bright
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Beat the Devil (outtake), 
        hauling peanut butter crank through Arizona,
gotta keep the glow stick babies fat and happy.
cactus standing taller than goliath,
all the vultures come directly at me.
we stash it in between some bales of lumber,
on flatbeds coming in from Colorado.
I don't know what you're doing back in Memphis
all winter you've been incommunicado.
take a picture, do it fast.
for the good times,
for the good times that won't last.
hot sun peels the paint down to the primer,
overheating engine spits and whines.
try to keep our minds on what we're doing,
try to keep the wheels between the lines.
the feeling when the cop car flips its lights on
the near electric tension crackling here inside the truck,
the lack of any word from you in Memphis
the sounds of someone running out of luck.
take a picture, do it fast.
for the good times,
for the good times that won't last.
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      Going to Pomona (outtake), 
        the lights are on in your room so tell me
who's your friend?
and the lights are burning in the little house on east end
and I remembered who I was
and what I came here for
the moon was caught high in the branches of the sycamore
and on my neck I felt the cold wind
and it licked around my ears and it asked me to ask you, yeah
who's your friend?
and the lights came down over Pomona, blazed again before your front door
the moon was caught high in the branches of the sycamore
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      New World Emerging Blues (outtake), 
        some day, some day mt. Fuji's gonna blow.
some day, some day mt. Fuji's gonna blow.
spray hot ashes on the villagers below.
some day, some day the ocean's gonna rise.
some day, some day the ocean's gonna rise.
and I will emerge from hiding and shrug off my disguise.
some day, some day the earth will be black as tar.
some day the earth will be black as tar.
and are gonna see each other the way we truly are.
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      You and Me and a High Balcony (outtake), 
        clean slate, warm weather
they should tie our ankles both together
seagulls calling to one another
if a stranger should ask you, you can tell him I'm your brother
lean into me, press real hard
I got no good reasons left not to let down my guard
I love your kiss, but it's going to come down to this
you and me and a high balcony
and professional wrestling on pay-per-view
windows in light
and the radio blaring all night
and the truth slowly dawning on me and then on you
let's pretend we're all alone
let's unplug the telephone
our scale doesn't slide
here comes tonight, hey, open wide
don't blink, don't try too hard not to
just rehearse the alibis your father taught you
see the plastic coating on the windows blister
anybody asks you, tell them you’re my sister
yeah, you and me and a table set for three
just in case our assassin should finally come through
anhydrous and matches
why don't we cook up two more batches
with the time closing in on me and then on you
<> We Shall All Be Healed (2004),
      We Shall All Be Healed (outtake), 
        red brick building
nights that never end
hold our structure there
sad beams but let's pretend
do our best
stay true because it's what we have to do
we will all be healed before the night is through
big church basement
flashing lights
tell me nice things, hold me tight
but not too tight.
Devon and Ivory and Caroline and Quinn
we will all be healed before the sun sneaks in
<> Letter from Belgium (2004),
      Nova Scotia, 
        Coming in off Nova Scotia Yellow sun in the blue sky All those cattails in the wind I got something in my eye
Listen Everything I love I will devour And bury the bones down in the snow Put me in a beat-up El Camino Just let me go, just let me go
<> Letter from Belgium (2004),
      Attention All Pickpockets, 
        In comes you Not the same person I knew Looking roughly the same But something hungry getting restless in your brain Hey
So there I go Not the same person that you used to know Peeking through The fisheye lens at you
And the cornet blows Where the oleander grows And us too Not the same people that our old friends knew
And so down the street You head in the high summer heat White long-sleeve Oxford Pushed up to just before your elbows
Black pumps and a medium-length black skirt Eating a path through the dark, damp earth I hope they've got Plenty of money where you're going
And the cornet blows Where the oleander grows And us too Not the same people that our old friends knew
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      You or Your Memory, 
        I checked into a bargain priced room on La Cienega,
gazed out through the curtains of the parking lot.
walked down to the corner store just before nightfall in my bare feet.
black tarry asphalt, soft and hot.
and when I came back I spread out my supplies.
on the counter by the sink,
I looked myself right in the eyes
St. Joseph's baby aspirin,
Bartle’s and Jayme’s,
and you or your memory.
I ducked behind the drapes when I saw the moon begin to rise,
gathered in my loose ends switched off the light.
and down there in the dark I can see the real truth about me.
as clear as day, lord if I make it through tonight
then I will mend my ways and walk the straight path to the end of my days.
St. Joseph's baby aspirin,
Bartle’s and Jayme’s,
and you or your memory.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Broom People, 
        '36 Hudson in the garage,
all sorts of junk in the unattached spare room,
dishes in the kitchen sink,
new straw for the old broom,
friends who don’t have a clue,
well-meaning teachers,
but down in your arms,
in your arms, I am a wild creature.
floor two foot high with newspapers,
white carpet thick with pet hair,
half eaten gallons of ice cream in the freezer,
fresh fuel for the sodium flares,
I write down good reasons to freeze to death
in my spiral ring notebook,
but in the long tresses of your hair
I am a babbling brook.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      This Year, 
        I broke free on a Saturday morning.
I put the pedal to the floor.
headed north on mills avenue,
and listened to the engine roar.
my broken house behind me and good things ahead,
a girl named Cathy wants a little of my time.
six cylinders underneath the hood crashing and kicking,
ahhh listen to the engine whine.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I played video games in a drunken haze
I was seventeen years young.
hurt my knuckles punching the machines
the taste of scotch rich on my tongue.
and then Cathy showed up and we hung out.
trading swigs from the bottle all bitter and clean
locking eyes, holding hands,
twin high maintenance machines.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I drove home in the California dusk.
I could feel the alcohol inside of me hum.
picture the look on my stepfather's face,
ready for the bad things to come.
I downshifted as I pulled into the driveway.
the motor screaming out stuck in second gear.
the scene ends badly as you might imagine,
in a cavalcade of anger and fear.
there will be feasting and dancing in Jerusalem next year.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Dilaudid, 
        the reception's gotten fuzzy.
the delicate balance has shifted.
put on your gloves and your black pumps.
let's pretend the fog has lifted.
now you see me.
now you don't.
now you say you love me.
pretty soon you won't.
if we get our full threescore and ten,
we won't pass this way again.
so kiss me with your mouth open.
turn the tires toward the street
and stay sweet.
all the chickens come on home to roost.
plump bodies blotting out the sky.
you know it breaks my heart in half, in half
when I see them trying to fly.
'cause you just can't do
things your body wasn't meant to.
hike up your fishnets.
I know you.
if we live to see the other side of this,
I will remember your kiss.
so do it with your mouth open.
and take your foot off of the brake
for Christ’s sake.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Dance Music, 
        alright I'm on Johnson avenue in San Luis Obispo
and I'm five years old or six maybe.
and indications there's something wrong with our new house
trip down the wire twice daily
I'm in the living room watching the Watergate hearings
while my step father yells at my mother.
launches a glass across the room, straight at her head
and I dash upstairs to take cover.
lean in close to my little record player on the floor.
so this is what the volume knobs for.
I listen to dance music.
dance music.
ok so look I'm seventeen years old,
and you're the last best thing I've got going.
but then the special secret sickness starts to eat through you.
what am I supposed to do?
no way of knowing,
so I follow you down your twisting alleyways,
find a few cul de sacs of my own.
there's only one place where this road ever ends up.
and I don't want to die alone.
let me down, let me down, let me down gently.
when the police come to get me
I'm listening to dance music.
dance music.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Dinu Lipatti's Bones, 
        we stank of hair dye and ammonia.
we sealed ourselves away from view.
you were looking at the void and sat unblinking.
the best that I could do was to train my eyes on you.
we scaled the hidden hills beneath the surface,
scraped our fingers bloody on the stones.
and built our little house that we could live in
out of dinu lipatti's bones.
we kept our friends at bay all summer long.
treated the days as if they'd kill us if they could.
ringing out the hours like blood drenched bed sheets
to keep winter time at bay but December showed up anyway.
there was no money it was money that you wanted.
I went downtown, sold off most of what I owned.
and we raised a tower to broadcast all our dark dreams
from dinu lipatti's bones.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Up The Wolves, 
        there's bound to be a ghost at the back of your closet
no matter where you live.
there'll always be a few things, maybe several things
that you're going to find really difficult to forgive.
there's going to come a day when you feel better.
you'll rise up free and easy on that day.
and float from branch to branch,
lighter than the air.
just when that day is coming, who can say? who can say?
our mother has been absent ever since we founded Rome.
but there's going to be a party when the wolf comes home.
we’re going to commandeer the local airwaves
to tell the neighbors what’s been going on.
and they will shake their heads and wag their bony fingers
in all the wrong directions,
and by daybreak we'll be gone.
I'm going to get myself in fighting trim,
scope out every angle of unfair advantage.
I'm going to bribe the officials.
I'm going to kill all the judges.
it's going to take you people years to recover from all of the damage.
our mother has been absent ever since we founded Rome.
but there's going to be a party when the wolf comes home.
go!
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Lion's Teeth, 
        the king of the jungle
was asleep in his car.
when your chances fall in your lap like that,
you gotta recognize them for what they really are.
nobody in this house wants to own up to the truth.
I crawl in shotgun and reach into his mouth
and grab hold of one long, sharp tooth
and hold on.
for dear life, I hold on.
well of course he wakes up.
his paw hits the horn.
I am going to regret
the day that I was born.
and then mom
rushes out to the driveway
my sister too
everyone screaming,
I am dreaming of you.
I hold on.
for dear life, I hold on.
and my arms get sore.
and my palms start to sweat.
and the tears roll down my face,
till my cheeks are hot and red and soaking wet.
in come the cops
they blow torch the doors.
I start wailing.
the lion roars.
there's no good way to end this.
anyone can see
there's this great big you,
and little old me.
and we hold on.
for dear life, we hold on.
we hold on.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Hast Thou Considered The Tetrapod, 
        you are sleeping off your demons
when I come home.
spittle bubbling on your lips,
fine white foam
I am young and I am good.
it's a hot southern California day.
if I wake you up, there will be hell to pay.
and alone in my room,
I am the last of a lost civilization.
and I vanish into the dark
and rise above my station.
rise above my station.
but I do wake you up, and when I do
you blaze down the hall and you scream.
I'm in my room with the headphones on
deep in the dream chamber.
and then I'm awake and I'm guarding my face,
hoping you don't break my stereo.
because it's the one thing that I couldn't live without
and so I think about that and then I sorta black out.
held under these smothering waves
by your strong and thick veined hand,
but one of these days I'm going to wriggle up on dry land.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Magpie, 
        feed the kittens in the kitchen.
set food out for the strays.
try hard to do your best.
the magpie will have his way.
fill your mouth with berries
by the full light of the moon.
work all night if you have to.
the magpie comes at noon.
shore up the crucifixes
above the archways and the doors.
the magpie will come at midday.
and you will go down on all fours.
and when the cherries white with blossoms
be ready and be brave.
and remember what we had here
when there was something left to save.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Song for Dennis Brown, 
        on the day that Dennis Brown's lung collapsed, spring rain was misting down on Kingston.
and down at the harbor, local cops were intercepting an inbound shipment.
and for a while there it was chaos
as they handcuffed and then roughed up some sailors.
on the day my lung collapses
it's not going to be much different.
on the day that Dennis Brown's habits caught up with him, school children sang in choirs.
and out behind the Chinese restaurants
guys were jumping into dumpsters.
and the stench was overbearing,
but they were past the point of caring.
on the day my habits catch up with me
I'll be down among the jumpers.
and when the birds come home in spring,
we will fill them full of buckshot.
and jets of contaminated blood
will cloud the rivers and the lakes.
it took all the coke in town to bring down Dennis Brown.
on the day my lung collapses
we'll see just how much it takes.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Love Love Love, 
        king Saul fell on his sword when it all went wrong,
and Joseph's brothers sold him down the river for a song,
and Sonny Liston rubbed some tiger balm into his glove.
some things you do for money and some you do for love love love.
Raskolnikov felt sick but he couldn't say why
when he saw his face reflected in his victim's twinkling eye.
some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun,
but the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one.
love love is going to lead you by the hand
into a white and soundless place.
now we see things as in a mirror dimly.
then we shall see each other face to face.
and way out in Seattle young Kurt Cobain
snuck out to the greenhouse, put a bullet in his brain.
snakes in the grass beneath our feet, rain in the clouds above,
some moments last forever, but some flare up with love love love.
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Pale Green Things, 
        got up before dawn
went down to the racetrack.
riding with the windows down
shortly after your first heart attack.
you parked behind the paddock,
cracking asphalt underfoot,
coming up through the cracks
pale green things
pale green things
we watched the horses run their workouts.
you held your stopwatch in your left hand
and a racing form beneath your arm,
casting your gaze way out to no man's land.
sometimes I'll meet you out there
lonely and frightened.
flicking my tongue out at the wet leaves
pale green things
pale green things
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      The Mummy's Hand (outtake), 
        if you prick us, don't it sting
if you kick us, won't it hurt
I am wrapped in scraps of linen and pieces of people's old shirts
but way way underneath all these sticky bands
I hold all my dreams right here in my hands
I will rise from the tomb
like an infant emerging from the womb
I spent several thousand years down here all alone
no way to stem the lonely old ache in my bones
say the spell three times, crank up the special effects
I'm gonna cast off all my bandages and see what happens next
I will rise fully formed
like an infant, freshly born
I've been trapped too long underneath the ground
in the hollow darkness, but ain't no grave gonna hold my body down
I will push my hand up through the earth
and I will rise like the cry of an infant at its birth
my sister called at three a.m.
just last December.
she told me how you'd died at last, at last
and that morning at the race track was one thing I remembered.
I turned it over in my mind
like a living Chinese finger trap.
seaweed and Indiana saw grass
pale green things
pale green things
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Abandoning My Father Talking Blues (outtake), 
        it was 9 A.M. when the U-Haul came
and I heard my momma call my name
my daddy taught English at Cal Poly San Louis Obispo
he was at work that day, it was time to go
we were moving on
I was five years old and my sister was three
I was wondering what would likely become of me
my sister looked sad and I tried to be strong
it was hard just to get up and move along
but by five in the afternoon we were gone
and my stepfather welcomed me with open arms
we walked right through that apartment door
I had never lived in an apartment before
and it was weird
I'll probably never know what it was like that night
for my dad, but I'd wager it was pretty bad
my sister and me, we stayed up late
talking in the dark and not feeling so great
we were moving out of our house
into a two-story apartment building across town
with a swing set and a sandbox in the middle of a parking lot
and a laundry room full of missing washing machines
and two fires
keep the home fires burning
keep the home fires burning
keep the home, home fires burning
<> The Sunset Tree (2005),
      Song for my Stepfather (outtake), 
        you have got that look in your eyes
in the pinprick place where kindness goes to die
I'll be six years old next year
you erase me
you'll be sorry, you always feel sorry later on
when you come around to say so, I will be gone
and in my place, meet my letter-perfect body double
you erase me
and a few years later, I set out on my own
learned to take the reins up all by myself
dug the spurs in clean down to the bone
but all that comes later
now there's only you and me
and the replica where my body used to be
you can go ahead and hit him
he feels no pain at all
you erase me
you erase me
<> Come, Come to the Sunset Tree (2005),
      Collapsing Stars, 
        when we hid out behind the risers at the high school,
working bitter calculations with a slide rule.
the grim particulars of poisoning the swimming pool,
well you looked me in the eye,
ready to die.
we were becoming what we are,
collapsing stars.
when we chewed up baby aspirin like bubble gum,
til our hearts were beating as deep and rich as kettle drums
we knew if we waited long enough the change would come.
and then the day did come and at last
hold tight.
hold fast.
catch lightning in a jar,
collapsing stars.
I told you to load up on provisions,
because we wouldn't be back for a while.
pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
turn toward the camera and smile, smile, smile.
when we ditched the plan to poison all our enemies,
stuffed our weapons in a clearing, and covered them with leaves,
we are going to come rejoicing bringing in the sheaves
one day, and we are on our way.
you can look,
but you won't find
another love like ours,
collapsing stars.
<> Come, Come to the Sunset Tree (2005),
      High Doses #2, 
        we all woke up that morning,
claw marks on our little faces.
the dull thud from the treetops
the echo in the hollow places
rose up high and lonely
wringing my hands, grinding my teeth
all the triumph overhead
all the disaster underneath
spat out my morning prayers
desperate pleas and vicious lies.
felt the sunlight through the grating,
covered up my eyes.
woke up feeling awful
shook my head to drive the ghosts way
this is just a flesh wound
and it will clear up any day.
but the present I got planned for you pricks,
is gonna be a little harder to fix.
thank god
for small favors
in high doses.
heard the voices through the air vents
listen to them squeal
the great big world is out there
the hidden one beneath my heel
called up my sister in Reseda,
left a message at the tone.
all the points where contact fails us
all of the dead spots in the zone
and the acid in my throat
every time I try to talk
the songs that keep me up at night
standing on that solid rock
rose up high and dry and lonely
stumbled coming out the gate
this is just a paper cut
and it will scab over just you wait.
but the cuts that I’ll shortly being dealing out,
are gonna give you something to cry about.
thank god
for small favors
in high doses.
<> Come, Come to the Sunset Tree (2005),
      The Day The Aliens Come (Hawaiian Feeling), 
        I will wake up at six a.m. again.
and I will find my way to the front door
like a soldier crawling through the smoking carnage.
smoldering bodies at my feet,
I'd love to stick around, but I've got someone to meet.
and I will put my best foot forward.
and I'll thank god I made it out of there
on the day when my new friends come.
I will present myself in my nice white tuxedo jacket.
and I will look out at the day through my dark sunglasses,
and take in the scene.
the house behind me and the people in it
will all go up like steam in just a minute.
there's gonna be a redefining of some borders,
and I will receive my orders
on the day when my new friends come.
the rooftops and the sidewalks
will all melt like plastic.
and oh friends, old friends, dear friends,
I'm gonna look fantastic.
there won't be any reason left to cry
'cause there won't be any people left to cry for.
my memory's gonna vaporize itself.
and my Italian shoes, well, they will be to die for.
I believe I can fly.
might you look up at me and wave goodbye
on the day when my new friends come?
<> Babylon Springs (2006),
      Ox Baker Triumphant, 
        I will rise from the swamp where they dumped my private plane,
I'll be clutching the life preserver in my teeth.
and I will find the highway
and I will flag down a truck
worry lines on my forehead, blank stare underneath
and when I come back to town
I'm gonna cast my burden down
a little worse for wear
practically walking on air
I will thank my ride and crawl my way back inside
to the guts of the building where my enemies
hide in the dark like roaches.
and I will signal the camera crew and everyone will do
what he's been trained how to do.
sweat dripping from my face as my moment approaches.
click your heels, count to three.
I bet you never expected me
a little worse for wear
practically walking on air

<> Babylon Springs (2006),
      
Alibi, 
        

I got off work just past eleven
laid one finger to the breeze.
you can almost taste the action
on nights like these.
trees were bending in the wind.
you were forty miles away.
and I was headed in your direction.
I've been waiting all day, I've been waiting all day.
moon over west Covina was huge and white.
and I was like a patient on a table,
headed for the light
lean toward the center divider
feel the wind in my hair
keep a light up in your window
I'm gonna be right there, I'm gonna be right there
with a gleam in my eye
and an almost airtight alibi.
down by the chemistry building
I found a quiet place to park.
and I made my way down the street toward your place
stepping lightly in the dark
climbed the steps up to your doorway
like a man prepared to jump underneath a train.
it's real warm outside tonight.
maybe tomorrow it rains, maybe tomorrow it rains.
10
inside your room we shut the window
and we turned on a fan.
and we lay there together in the darkness
I can keep a secret if you can.
finishing one another's sentences
like a pair of identical twins.
your boyfriend's out of town until Tuesday
and nobody saw me come in, nobody saw me come in.
with a gleam in my eye
and an almost airtight alibi.
<> Babylon Springs (2006),
      Sail Babylon Springs, 
        but meanwhile downstairs, I'm setting up shop.
a little too proud to let the matter drop
and I can hear you up there.
isn't it romantic?
you're huffing and puffing rearranging
deck chairs on the titanic.
and I reach for a glass of cool water drawn,
from the rivers of Babylon.
and meanwhile outside, the stars have come out.
and the humid summer air pulls at the ring in my snout.
and you stand at your window looking down,
and I spread wide my arms.
jump if you want to jump, jump if you want to.
the water's warm.
I know.
I know 'cause I’ve been swimming.
blindly along through the rivers of Babylon.
<> Babylon Springs (2006),
      Wait For You, 
        when it came time to wait for you,
I took the bus to Malibu.
found a cafe by the ocean
watched the sky for signs
and a rainbow in the west
wrapped its coils around the earth like a serpent.
I felt like I was going to suffocate.
but I knew this was not the day you would finally come my way.
but I waited all the same,
watched the water through the window.
and a rainbow in the west
held its head beneath the waves and grew dimmer.
nothing anyone could do I suppose.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Wild Sage, 
        I leave the house as soon as it gets light outside
like a prisoner breaking out of jail.
and I steal down to business 15-501
like I had a bounty hunter on my tail.
and somebody stops to pick me up,
but he drops me off just down the block.
and along the highway where the empty sprits breathed,
wild sage growing in the weeds.
walked down the soft shoulder and I count my steps.
heading vaguely eastward, sun in my eyes.
and I lose my footing and I skin my hands, breaking my fall.
and I laugh to myself and look up at the skies
and then I think I hear angels in my ears
like marbles being thrown against a mirror.
and along the highway, where unlucky stray dogs bleed,
wild sage growing in the weeds.
and some days I don't miss my family.
and some days I do.
and some days I think I'd feel better if I tried harder.
most days I know it's not true.
I lay down right where I fell, cold grass in my face.
and I hear the traffic like the rhythm of the tides.
and I stare at the scrape on the heel of my hand,
'til it doesn't sting so much,
and until the blood's dried.
and when somebody asks if I'm ok, I don't know what to say.
and along the highway, from cast-off, innumerable seeds,
wild sage growing in the weeds.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      New Monster Avenue, 
        shadows on the broad lawn, canopy of trees
sometime after midnight, the ground is gonna freeze.
birds in the frosty air, what are they doing there?
greenhouse full of butcher's broom, breezes at my back
sometime before the sun comes up, the earth is gonna crack.
I look down at my hands, like they were mirrors.
fresh coffee at sunrise, warm my lips against the cup.
been waiting such a long time now, my number's finally coming up.
all the neighbors come on out to their front porches, waving torches.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Half Dead, 
        it was raining outside, so I cleaned house today.
spent half of the morning throwing old things away.
try not to get caught up,
try to think like a machine.
focus in on the task, try not to think about what it means.
can't get you out of my head.
lost without you,
half dead.
took my spot at the window, looked out at the road.
dots and dashes of traffic, like a messaging code
of whole boxes of memories wrapped up at the curb,
I sang songs to myself that didn't have any words.
can't get you out of my head.
lost without you,
half dead.
stole out to the backyard late last night.
pine trees frozen in the silvery moonlight,
rising like giants from the cold earth.
what are the years we gave each other ever gonna be worth?
can't get you out of my head.
lost without you,
half dead.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Get Lonely, 
        I will rise up early and dress myself up nice
and I will leave the house and check the deadlock twice.
and I will find a crowd and blend in for a minute
and I will try to find a little comfort in it.
and I will get lonely and gasp for air.
and send your name up from my lips like a signal flare.
and I will go downtown, stand in the shadows of the buildings
and button up my coat, trying to stay strong, spirit willing.
and I will come back home, maybe call some friends,
maybe paint some pictures,
it all depends.
and I will get lonely and gasp for air.
and look up at the high windows, and see your face up there.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Maybe Sprout Wings, 
        a bad dream shook me in my sleep and I woke up sweating.
ran through the dark to the shower,
already forgetting.
tried to think good thoughts.
trying to find my way clear.
let the room fill with steam,
traced pictures on the mirror.
ghosts and clouds and nameless things.
squint your eyes and hope real hard,
maybe sprout wings.
I clawed my way to the living room window,
stood there in the cold.
the last bits of my dream like figures in the distance,
hard to hold.
I thought of old friends,
the ones who'd gone missing.
said all their names three times.
phantoms in the early dark,
canaries in the mines.
ghosts and clouds and nameless things.
squint your eyes and hope real hard,
maybe sprout wings.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Moon Over Goldsboro, 
        I went down the gas station for no particular reason,
heard the screams from the high school --
it's football season.
empty lot the station faces, will probably be there forever.
I climbed over the four foot fence,
I was trying to sever the tether.
moon in the sky, cold as a stone
spend each night in your arms, always wake up alone.
I lay down in the weeds, it was a real cold night.
I was happy until the overnight attendant switched on the floodlight.
walking home I was talking to you under my breath,
saying things I would never say directly.
I heard a siren on the road highway ahead.
kinda wish they'd come and get me
frost on the sidewalk, white as a bone
tried to get close to you again, always wake up alone.
and as I was crossing our doorstep,
I hesitated just a moment there.
remembered the day we moved into our small house
'til the vision got too vivid to bear.
you were almost asleep, halfway undressed
I lay right down next to you
held your head against my chest.
and a guy with any kind of courage
would maybe stop to think the matter through
maybe hold you still and raise the question,
instead of blindly holding on to you.
but we crank up the heat
and you giggle and moan,
spend all night in the company of ghosts, always wake up alone
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      In The Hidden Places, 
        autumn came around like a drifter to an onramp
there were wet leaves floating in gutters full of rain.
took to walking barefoot around town
melodies from grade school, kicking in my brain.
saw you on the crosstown bus today.
you were reading a magazine.
I turned my face away and I shut my eyes tight.
and dreamed about the flowers that hide from the light on dark hillsides
in the hidden places.
the brakes howled and the bus pulled up near my house
and I got off at the corner.
pulled my sleeves down over my hands, over my hands.
and I wished I was someone else.
and I wished it was warmer.
and when I got home, I thought about you.
like a desperate policeman, searching for clues
and I almost passed out, just then
and I shut my eyes again
headed for the dark hillsides
in the hidden places.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Song for Lonely Giants, 
        no one washed behind my ears.
high in the trees alone for years,
practicing my solitary scales 'til they rose like balloons
watching them go where they will go.
face in the leaves, song in my throat.
fall through the air, hoping to float.
practicing my solitary scales 'til they grow heavy,
too heavy to carry.
watching them go where they will go.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Woke Up New, 
        on the morning when I woke up without you for the first time,
I felt free.
and I felt lonely.
and I felt scared.
and I began to talk to myself almost immediately,
not being used to being the only person there.
hmmmm
the first time I made coffee for just myself,
I made too much of it.
but I drank it all,
just 'cause you hate it when I let things go to waste.
and I wandered through the house, like a little boy lost at the mall.
and an astronaut could've seen the hunger in my eyes from space.
and I sang oh
what do I do?
what do I do?
what do I do?
what do I do without you?
on the morning when I woke up without you for the first time,
I was cold, so I put on a sweater.
and I turned up the heat.
and the walls began to close in
and I felt so sad and frightened,
I practically ran from the living room out into the street.
and the wind began to blow and all the trees began to bend.
and the world in its cold way started coming alive.
and I stood there like a businessman waiting for a train.
and I got ready for the future to arrive.
and I sang oh
what do I do?
what do I do?
what do I do?
what do I do without you?
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      If You See Light, 
        when the villagers come to my door,
I will hide underneath the table in the dining room,
knees drawn to my chest.
when the villagers come to my door,
I will breathe shallow breaths from high up in my stomach
ah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah
waiting for the front door to splinter,
waiting all winter.
when the villagers come to my door,
I'll be all tucked away with my face to the floor and my eyes closed.
and no one knows how to keep secrets 'round here
they tell everyone everything, soon as they know.
and then where is there left for poor sinners to go?
waiting for the front door to splinter,
waiting all winter.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Cobra Tattoo, 
        sun just clearing the tree line when my day begins.
slippery ice on the bridges, northeastern wind coming in.
you will bruise my head, I will strike your heel.
drive past wind of northern pine, try not to let go of the wheel.
dream at night
girl with a cobra tattoo on her arm,
it's head flaring out like a parachute.
prisms in the dew drops in the underbrush
skate case sailor's purses floating down in the black needle rush
higher than the stars I will set my throne.
God does not need Abraham, God can raise children from stones.
dream at night
girl with a cobra tattoo
and try to hear the garbled transmissions come through.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      In Corolla, 
        the day I turned my back on all you people
I felt an itching in my thumbs.
the salt air like a broadcast from the distant, dark beyond
when my transformation comes.
I went down to the warm, warm water
saw a pelican fly past
waved once at the highway and then left all that behind me
I went wading through the grass.
and no one was gonna come and get me.
there wasn't anybody gonna know.
even though I leave a trail of burnt things in my wake
every single place I go.
and it was cool, and it was quiet
in the humid marsh down there.
I let my head sink down beneath the brackish water,
felt it gumming up my hair.
the sun was sinking into the Atlantic
the last time that I turned my back on you.
I tried to summon up a little prayer as I went under
it was the best that I could do.
and I said,
let them all fare better than your servant,
the reeds all pricking at my skin.
here's hoping they have better luck than I had down here with you
all that water rushing in.
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Naming Day (outtake), 
        I am hiding in the house
someone’s coming through the gate
when the doorbell sounds like an air-raid siren
I am lying in wait
people used to come around
they fish-eyed and they rubber-necked
anyone who’d come to visit now
is automatically a suspect
I creep up to the window
me and my buzzing brain
and we watch two Jehovah's witnesses
retreating down the lane
I’m not coming out yet
it’s too cold
leave me alone ‘til I learn
how to spin straw into gold
I put on night-vision goggles
work my way along the wall into the kitchen
as soon as the first snow fell this year
my finger’s started itching
and I locked up the doors
and I sealed up all the windows
and friends came by sometimes for a while
I never let’em in though
and then they stopped, and then they stopped at last
and now it’s just us three
these walls and the church of Jesus Christ
of the latter-day saints and me
and I’m not coming out yet
it’s too cold
leave me alone ‘til I learn
how to spin straw into gold
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      They Are Stone Swallowers (outtake), 
        you went away to Stockholm for a week
you came back with some scratch-marks on your cheeks
the towers line the highway and they cry
from deep down in their guts until they die
the water tower crew are total devils
toxicity near saturation levels
I rise up and greet the day
see the serpents rising from the clay
you were headed down to Salzburg for the night
all my hair was turning white
you and your crew were good to go
so many people that we'll never really know
I saw the city men, they make me laugh
digging up the cables, cutting them in half
I watch the ancient sun until it balls
see the serpents coming through the walls
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Keeping House (outtake), 
        you clean out your junk-drawer, you mop up some blood
while the first of the new creatures rises from the mud
cursing the moment that saw him draw breath
the ghost on your doorstep is starving to death
you spray down the windows, you wipe them all clean
and you douse your old clothing with fresh gasoline
and the ghost on your doorstep is soaked wet with rain
and he clutches his stomach and howls at the pain
and you can stay busy all day
he’s never going away
so let all the lights blaze, keep your heart light
play really loud music all hours of the night
and when you set the table, set it for two
the ghost on your doorstep has to eat, same as you
same as you
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Going Invisible (outtake), 
        when I rose from a heavy sleep I was stepping lightly and I put on my gray suit and a matching fedora ready to face the world fairly nearly ready came down the hallway looked in the mirror
I'm gonna break something I'm gonna break something today
and sweep all the pieces away
and I stood before the mirror then like I was waiting for a phone call squinting like a lost traveler in a thick fog but nothing clear came into view except for you just off in the distant horizon something hidden in your hand
I'm gonna break something I'm gonna break something today
and sweep all the pieces away
so I pulled my hat brim down over my eyes and preened and posed and tried my new self on for size
then I was out the door in the faint winter sunlight just a number in the crowd smiling at everyone ah, but who'd smile back at a face like that
I'm gonna break something I'm gonna break something today and sweep all the pieces away
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Acceptable Damages Sutra (outtake), 
        I had some high hopes, had some high hopes
for the coming year
but as it turns out
nothing ever really changes here
but when I've had
about as much as I can take
when I feel myself
just about to break
I lean into the wind
and like an infant, I reach out for your hand
fool me once, you know
shame shame
shame shame
and as we rehearse our scene
we really put our hearts into it
and I feel an opening to wiggle through
but I don't want to do it
but some habits are hard to break, hard to break
and some aren't really habits anymore
and when the full force of the hurricane
nearly knocks me on the floor
I lean into the wind
and like an infant, I reach out for your hand
fool me once, you know
shame shame
shame shame
<> Get Lonely (2006),
      Pinklon (outtake), 
        let the bright colors come blushing gently back to the
cherry blossom trees, around pontiac and guys in
powder blue starter jackets
down on the street
let them come up from the corners
so light on their feet
let the ticker tape come cascading down
above the greyhound station
out at the edge of town
and at the schoolyard fences
where the children shout
let the chains fall away and let them all rush out
and though all good things in time will melt away
Pinklon Thomas is getting out of prison today
out to the curbside let the grandmothers come
and stand in red gingham dresses
in the afternoon sun
and from the windows high above the street
let the trumpets sound
and let confetti fill the air and gather on the ground
let the guys all hurry on down to the gym
and throw the doors wide open
and clear a space for him
let messages from strangers
spray-painted on cheap drapes
hang from all the fire escapes
let them spell it out on marquees and on window displays
pinklon thomas is getting out of prison today
<> Three For Mike G (2008),
      Hye Kye, 
        in December in California, the air was hot and I carried the Christmas tree down Indian Hill to the Gemco parking lot what did I see what spectacle confronted me ten thousand Christmas trees
and the people standing around, and the smiles on their faces and the boards in the shapes of Xs hammered into the Christmas trees' bases I took in the smell I looked around and among ten thousand Christmas trees I laid down
<> Three For Mike G (2008),
      Extreme South #1, 
        In the little house On the beach Underneath The dwarf peach tree I've got Coca-Cola On my tongue Yeah, sweet taste in my mouth Borne down Past Venezuela Extreme south
South American red-capped woodpecker In the high trees drumming In the wet sand I see you coming Comfort burning In your eyes Yeah, sweet taste in my mouth Borne down Around the Horn Extreme south
<> Three For Mike G (2008),
      Brandy Let's Go, 
        You say I'd forgotten what being young's all about How could you say that to me You say I don't know how to have fun anymore Well, that just may be But it may be otherwise Try me And if it isn't so I got a handgun And a bottle of brandy Let's go
You try and trace Taurus in the sky for me But I know you don't know what you're doing But when I turn my face toward the cold, clean sidewalk I can see the world glowing You say I've forgotten what love's all about You say I don't know how to shake the cobwebs out I look into your eyes And I see the fury grow I got a handgun And a bottle of brandy Let's go
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Sax Rohmer #1, 
        fog lifts from the harbor
dawn goes down to day
an agent crests the shadows
of a nearby alleyway
piles of broken bricks
signposts on the path
every moment points toward
the aftermath, yeah
sailors straggle back
from their nights out on the town
hopeless urchins from the city
gather around
spies from imperial china
wash in with the tide
every battle heads toward
surrender on both sides
and I am coming home to you
with my own blood in my mouth
and I am coming home to you
if it's the last thing that I do
bells ring in the tower
wolves howl in the hills
chalk marks show up
on a few high windowsills
and a rabbit gives up somewhere
and a dozen hawks descend
every moment leads toward
its own sad end, yeah
ships loosed from their moorings
capsize and then they're gone
sailors with no captains watch a while
and then move on
and an agent crests the shadows
and I head in her direction
all roads lead toward
the same blocked intersection
I am coming home to you
with my own blood in my mouth
and I am coming home to you
if it's the last thing that I do
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      San Bernardino, 
        we got in your car and we hit the highway
eastern sun was rising over the mountains
yellow and blood red bits
like a kaleidoscope
and flaming swords may guard the garden of Eden
but we consulted maps from earlier days
dead languages on our tongues
holding on to our last hope
and the day was bright and fine
and the highway sign said,
“San Bernardino welcomes you”
I checked us into our motel and filled the bathtub
and you got in the warm warm water
I pulled petals from my pocket
I loved you so much just then
and it was hard but you were brave, you are splendid
and we will never be alone in this world
no matter what they say
we're gonna be okay
we were safe inside
and our new son cried,
“San Bernardino welcomes you”
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Heretic Pride, 
        well they come and pull me from my house
and they drag my body through the streets
and the sun's so hot I think I’ll catch fire and burn up
in the summer air so moist and sweet
and the people all come out to cheer
rocks in the pathway break my skin
and there's honeysuckle on the faint breeze today
with every breath I’m drawing in
I want to cry out but I don't scream and I don't shout
and I feel so proud to be alive
and I feel so proud when the reckoning arrives
crowds grow denser by the second
as we near the center of the town
and they dig a trench right in the main square right there
and they pick me up and throw me down
and I start laughing like a child
and I mark their faces one by one
transfigurations gonna come for me at last
and I will burn hotter than the sun
I waited so long and now I taste jasmine on my tongue
and I feel so proud to be alive
and I feel so proud when the reckoning arrives
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Autoclave, 
        hand me your hand, let me look in your eyes
as my last chance to feel human begins to vaporize
maybe it's the heat in here, maybe it's the pressure
you ought to head for the exits, the sooner the better
I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
and no one in her right mind would make my home her home
my heart's an autoclave
my heart's an autoclave
when I try to open up to you I get completely lost
houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost
and I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn
and there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn
and I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
and no emotion that's worth having could call my heart its home
my heart's an autoclave
my heart's an autoclave
I dreamt that I was perched atop a throne of human skulls
on a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls
and the dream went on forever, one single static frame
sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name
and I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
and no one in her right mind would make her home my home
my heart's an autoclave
my heart's an autoclave
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      New Zion, 
        there were signs up in the sky
when we gathered by the garden wall
everybody on his best behavior
listening for the altar call
high priest of Salem in his robes
ranting at the coming of the day
ravens at the gates
frightening all the visitors away
I lay down by the water
dreamed a dream of where I come from
old things made new
waiting for you
there were wooden wind-chimes rustling
in the trees above the anthills on the dunes
on the high winds we could hear them
old familiar tunes
the little bit of faith we had once
like the memory of a movie
they got burned up the great fire
reassembling itself slowly but surely
I lay down by the water
dreamed a dream of where I come from
old things made new
waiting for you
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      So Desperate, 
        we were parked in your car
in our neutral meeting place, the Episcopalian churchyard
I had things I'd been meaning to say
but in the dazzling winter sun that late I could feel them melt away
and through the warm radio static
I couldn't hear my stage directions
and the fog on the windshield
obscured our sad reflections
I felt so desperate in your arms
I felt so desperate in your arms
we were parked near some trees
and the moonlight soaked the branches in ever-deepening degrees
had my hand in your hair
trying to keep my cool ‘til it became too much to bear
when we cracked the windows open
well the air was just so sweet
we could hear the cars ten feet away
out there on the street
I felt so desperate in your arms
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      In The Craters On The Moon, 
        if the strain proves too much
give up right away
if the light hurts your eyes
stay in your room all day
when the room fills with smoke
lie down on the floor
in the declining years
of the long war
well the blood's in the water
and the shark's gonna come
and we swim in the dark
until our bodies are numb
blind desert rats in the moonlight
too far from shore
in the declining years
of the long war
empty room with a lightbulb
where the phone starts to ring
everybody gets nervous
nobody says anything
the next day someone's initials
show up on the door
I think I’m gonna crack
can't live like this anymore
ugly things in the darkness
worse things in store
in the declining years
of the long war
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Lovecraft in Brooklyn, 
        it's gonna be too hot to breath today
but everybody is out here on the streets
somebody's opened up the fire hydrant
cold water rushing out in sheets
some kid in a Marcus Allen jersey
asks me for a cigarette
companionship is where you find it
so I take what I can get
hubcaps on the car like fun house mirrors
stick to the shadows that I can
Lovecraft in Brooklyn
well the sun goes down on the armies of the voiceless
several hundred-thousand strong
come without their bandages
their voices raised in song
when the street lights sputter out
they make this awful sizzling sound
I cast my gaze towards the pavement
too many blood stains on the ground
Rhode Island drops into the ocean
no place to call home anymore
Lovecraft in Brooklyn
head outside most every day to try to keep the wolves away
imagine nice things I might say
if company should come
woke up afraid of my own shadow
like, genuinely afraid
headed for the pawnshop
to buy myself a switchblade
someday something's coming
from way out beyond the stars
to kill us while we stand here
it'll store our brains in mason jar
and then the girl behind the counter
she asks me how I feel today
I feel like Lovecraft in Brooklyn
yeah!
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Tianchi Lake, 
        children by the water banks laughing long and loud
changbai's high fine western peaks just beneath the clouds
currents in the water churning in their course
body of a sea-lion, head just like a horse
preacher in the soft brown sand begins to speak his piece
high winds in the treetops low flying winter geese
no one taking pictures everybody still
and then the water sought its course again the way that waters will
no one at the lakeside now, moon up in the sky
night birds in the dragon spruce, moaning long and high
backstroking on the surface, moonlight on its face
floats the Tianchi monster, staring into space
out around the temple now narcissus in bloom
censers packed with sandalwood send smoke into the room
children in the sand outside on their hands and knees
sketching pictures all day long of stranger things than these
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      How To Embrace A Swamp Creature, 
        got out of bed, could not remember my own name
condemned to walk the soil amongst all creatures wild and tame
go where I go, do what I must
crawl starving on my belly
licking up the dry dust
I see the light in your window
ride the elevator to the sixth floor
stand with my arms at my sides as you open up the door
but I'm out of my element I can't breathe
I'm out of my element
I can't breathe
alone with your bathroom mirror
try to get my head straight
breathe on the glass and wait for it to clear
clean slate
meet up with you in the kitchen
where the air is hot and dry
open up all the faucets
be fruitful and multiply
I stand where the flashing swords gleam
and I try to shake my head clear of the dream
but I'm out of my element I can't breathe
I'm out of my element
I can't breathe
I start to sweat I can't cool down
I'm scared of all the strangers in this town
I try to tell you just why I’ve come
it's like I've got molasses on my tongue
I made it through town somehow
but who's going to save me now?
I’m out of my element I can't breathe
I’m out of my element
I can't breathe
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Marduk T-Shirt Men's Room Incident, 
        slumped up against the sink
hair plastered to her cheeks
Marduk t-shirt sticking to her skin
refugee from a disco in old east Berlin
weightless formless blameless nameless
stray syllables were gurgling
from her throat one at a time
face hidden from my view
I let myself imagine she was you
only weightless, formless, blameless, nameless
and when I washed my hands
I ran the water hotter than I could stand
half rising to a crouch
sinking back down to the floor
when you're walking keep your head low
try to leave no traces when you go
stay weightless, formless, blameless, nameless
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Sept 15th 1983, 
        long dinner with some friends
way out way out in Portmore
servants of the pharaoh
slip in through an open door
all business
bearing knives and zip-guns
so get on the floor now
every last one, every last one
the heat drifts across the land
if I forget you Israel
let me forget my right hand
and on the floor Michael James Williams
feels his fingers start to freeze
and the whole scene's like a movie
paramedics on their knees
try, try your whole life
to be righteous and be good
wind up on your own floor
choking on blood
the heat drifts across the land
if I forget you Israel
let me forget my right hand
and the house still smells like onions
when the ambulance arrives
Gabriel in postal blue
loads up the car and drives
to Spanish town
about three miles away
where will the wicked run to
on that last day, on that last day?
the heat drifts across the land
if I forget you Israel
let me forget my right hand
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Michael Myers Resplendent, 
        I am ready for my close up today
too long I've let my self-respect stand in my way
well the prom queen's caught in the high beams
and the strings keen it's a big scene
but when the house goes up in flames
no one emerges triumphantly from it
when the scum begins to circle the drain
everybody loves a winner
I spent eight hours in my make-up chair
waxed my chest and shaved off all my hair
well the fire's bright and the frame's tight
try to get right; well, we've still got light
but when the house goes up in flames
no one emerges triumphantly from it
when the scum begins to circle the drain
everybody loves a winner
but when the house goes up in flames
when the scum begins to circle the drain
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Last Man on Earth (outtake), 
        just when the last of the smoke subsides you'll see my fingers
hoisting my body up atop the charred debris.
who is that creature with the crazed look in his eyes?
don't even question your senses.
you can be sure that's me.
when all the pretenders to your hand lie dead across the land,
I'll be the last man on earth.
I'll be the last man on earth.
I'll be the last man on earth.
crawling around, down on the ground.
when the hail Mary’s you've been saying lose their savor,
just when your dungeon walls feel like they're closing in,
whose are those bloody knuckles reaching down to grab you
just as the last of the light overhead is growing dim?
it was their love you wanted, not mine.
but when they deny your name three times
I'll be the last man on earth.
I'll be the last man on earth.
I'll be the last man on earth.
crawling around, down on the ground.
and I will throw you across my shoulders.
and I will bleed and I will drool.
and the cameras will slow pan across my face.
and I will try to say something cool.
just as the hordes of thirsting demons close around us,
raising their axes, howling like monkeys in the sun,
who will that guy be holding you so high above them?
you know and I know.
everyone knows it.
I'm the one.
I may have failed you once before,
but this right here, this means war.
I'll be the last man on earth.
I'll be the last man on earth.
I'll be the last man on earth.
crawling around, down on the ground.
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Toolshed (outtake), 
        out by the tracks where the sunflowers grow high and fine,
three sets of tracks: Steve and Rochelle’s and the last one's mine.
guy with a hat down in the weeds in a cardboard box
secrets to keep.
records to seal up.
kittens weighed down with rocks.
there was a little toolshed where he made us suffer.
back at the school everyone looks like the enemy.
and we couldn't sleep and I had the voices inside of me.
Steve and Rochelle and me down the well all semester long.
back to the tracks to try and make peace,
but the box was gone, was gone.
there was a little toolshed where the sad man made us suffer.
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Sign of the Crow #2 (outtake), 
        these roses are the pleasures of the flesh
these ones here they are the pleasures of the spirit
and tucked behind a pornographic picture in a frame
the troops found the pierced heart and they all gathered near it
and the dust clouds bloomed in the dark
and the face gazed up from the frame
roomful of French troops in a Franciscan abbey
history does not recall their names
of the several things that you have to do today
you're gonna regret one
this generation asks for a sign
it isn't gonna get one
Bertha took the pictures to the priest
and the priest fell on his face upon the floor
and the story lived on for a decade or two
but no one really knows it anymore
but the blessed heart is seen in the airbrush
and the blessed heart is beating on the wind
and the bodies of the faithful stacked by dozens by the roadsides
stripped and scourged and skinned
of the several things that you have to do today
you're gonna regret one
this generation asks for a sign
it isn't gonna get one
<> Heretic Pride (2008),
      Down to the Ark (outtake), 
        the candidates met up in North Dakota
and they donned their black robes there in the chapel hall
they said a brief invocation to their cloven-hoofed prince
and they signed their names in blood on the vestry wall
in Christ you know there's neither high nor low
and the void will claim all creatures small or bright
seal up the borders or let everybody in
in the order of the serpent, there'll be neither left nor right
and we pull down our blindfolds
reach out for the lever in the dark
get a sticker for our shirts as we head into the sun
proudly bearing the mark
headed down to the ark
the applicants went down to Oklahoma
and they hired an accent coach to teach them the western twang
and several post-born babies learned the hard way
vampires only kiss you when they've sharpened up their fangs, yeah
and as Minnesota fell, so went Missouri
we were meeting at VFWs in the snow
and we voted down the tax codes, and we voted down the war
so many names to choose from, just one way to go
and we pull down our blindfolds
reach out for the lever in the dark
get a sticker for our shirts as we head into the sun
proudly bearing the mark
headed down to the ark
<> Satanic Messiah (2008),
      Satanic Messiah, 
        I saw the posters popping up around the city
pale blue and washed out red
I went down to the arena pushing through
hoping I'd run into you
sweet freshly scrubbed smell of the crowd
all the excitement in their eyes
we were all made young when he stepped onto the stage
like an animal escaping from his cage
raise the trumpet
sound the drum
he whom the prophet spoke of long ago has come
all of us too dazed to leave when it was over
dawdled by the vendors for a minute
gathered underneath a summer sky
I was hoping you'd pass by
but thought I didn't see you that day or the next
I'm pretty sure that you were there
making your way among the young and happy hoard
headed down to your reward
raise the trumpet
sound the drum
he whom the prophet spoke of long ago has come
<> Satanic Messiah (2008),
      Wizard Buys a Hat, 
        shuffled up 6th street in the rain
kept my head down as I looked past the people
and in the dept. store
I found what I was looking for
this is the church.
this is the crucible.
they come out to Broadway and they look for me
I'm on the red steps smoking a cigarette
easy to recognize black bandages on my eyes
this is the church.
these are the congregants.
sun sets on the broad square and lights come up
feel like this town's gonna put a quick end to me
but if I came here to drown
I'm gonna take a few people down.
this is the church
occupied by the enemy.
<> Satanic Messiah (2008),
      Sarcofago Live, 
        we were hungry.
there was no food.
we were restless.
there were too many things to do
so we gathered in a concrete room,
eyes up at you.
and in a small room in brazil
we were waiting
and in a small room in brazil
we were waiting
we were howling like dogs.
we were feeling the full brunt of the age.
guys from our neighborhood looking down at us
all of you all of you
rage, rage, rage
and in a small room in brazil
we were waiting
and in a small room in brazil
we were waiting
<> Satanic Messiah (2008),
      Gojam Province 1968, 
        running like a band of angry schoolboys
up and down the well-lit streets today
bashing in the heads of tax collectors
and anybody else who's in our way
bathing in the sunlight that's our birthright
waiting for someone to set the scene
last time he came to town a few stray coins came raining down
we scrambled in the dirt for them like ants around the queen
we take aim for the dawning day
and we shoot
starving to death
starving to death for the low hanging fruit
then all at once here comes the motorcade
slow and steady down the beaten track
and as we're bashing out the windows of the limo
we notice there's nobody in the back
and the helicopter lands atop the palace
the royal guard assembles at the gate
the country's gonna burn and we'll still have to wait our turn
last among contenders of the super-featherweights
we take aim at the dawning day
and we shoot
starving to death
starving to death for the low hanging fruit
<> Black Pear Tree (2008),
      Black Pear Tree, 
        I dug a hole and filled it up with compost rested on the cool grass for a minute I saw the future in a dream last night there's nothing in it
I set the sapling in the hole started gently tamping down the dirt I saw the future in a dream last night somebody's gonna get hurt, somebody's gonna get hurt
I hope it's not me but I suspect it's going to have to be
I dug my heels in for the winter and I waited for the snow but something was stuck up in the clouds, something was stuck up there I couldn't let go
and when its time came I could see it happen blossoms black and sweet as Texas crude I saw the future flowering like a ruptured vessel
Somebody's gonna get screwed It won't be me
Someday I am going to walk out of here free
<> Black Pear Tree (2008),
      Mosquito Repellent, 
        all day, all day sweeping out the shards do what I have to do try to start anew, but I
thought of you twice couldn't help myself I don't know what I need clutching and fingering the rosary beads
but I try, try, try but I know I can't let go but I know I can't let go
TV upstairs leave it on all night do what I have to do add, subtract, and divide by two, but my
eyes light up at cops and robbers time I hope the bad guys win I hope the good guys get their skulls bashed in
and I try, try, try but I know I can't let go I can't let go
<> Black Pear Tree (2008),
      Bring Our Curses Home, 
        stray shards of vinyl siding hit the windshield coming down on the gridlocked freeway headed for Houston out of town
we were sad to see it sinking up on the Jumbotron balconies in higher places gone, gone, gone
young Romans at the city walls scavenging for scraps riding out the amnesia filling in the gaps
grab hold of my hammer try to bring down the Superdome on that rainy day when I bring my curses home
water floods the pharmacy people sliding down the aisles emerging into the moonlit night all smiles, all smiles
wished I was down there with them reaching for that third rail saw them on the TV though as they herded them down to jail
that night someone brought some shoes in from Los Angeles or Portland I forget mad scramble for the boxes everything got wet
wingless broken insects trapped in honeycomb on that wasteful day when I bring my curses home
<> Black Pear Tree (2008),
      Supergenesis, 
        in the twinkling of an eye my sentence gets passed and I drop to the ground and I go slithering through the grass
carving out battle lines as I crawl
find a hollow branch to rest in slip inside wait for mice to poke their heads in jaw hinged open wide
hang by my tail listening for the call
'cause someday, someday the call will sound we all, all
are gonna get up from the ground
feel the wet leaves pressed against me cling like drowning men try to hoist myself upright
again, try again
hold on to the memories all night
and where my arms and legs once sprouted skin is smooth and slick rub the smooth spots on some rough rocks I feel cold and sick
hold on to the battle plan hold tight
'cause someday, someday the call will sound and we all, we all are gonna get up from the ground
<> Black Pear Tree (2008),
      Roger Patterson Van, 
        Kelly said the van was streaked with broken sides of you tapes and magazines all your goodness beaming through sorting through your suitcase by the highway in the sun somewhere in Louisiana when you really need to run your legs will bend and buckle there is nowhere to go so you walk sideways
two sad young men one February digging through a wreck cleaning out the tour van check and double check nothing left inside now nothing left to do empty out the empties half this stuff belongs to you when you load down something heavy you've gotta watch your back so you walk sideways
sideways sideways
<> Black Pear Tree (2008),
      Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle, 
        I waited here all by myself the room was dark and it smelled like sulfur I heard the screams from way down in the darkness felt pretty sure my life was over
I kept my hat on just for luck sang simple tunes the whole night through I wondered if I'd wake to find myself in flames as I waited here for you
yeah, when you came in I could breathe again
I saw some guys dressed up like sorcerers blue robes that float above the ground they came and went and I was frightened for my life I tried not to make a sound
just when my solitude was closing in I heard a howl like screeching tires and I told you the one thing I know how to say through the bright ringing drone of eight-bit choirs
yeah when you came in I could breathe again
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Surrounded, 
        pale white moon, shine down on Colorado hide my dirty secrets down here in the shadows where the quaking aspens tremble in the snow haul me up the hillside hold me high and let me go let me fall right through my own roof like a meteorite let the world and all its wonders leave me to my toys tonight and my 96 inch television screen let me die, let me die surrounded by machines
high winds knocked the power out last night but I’ve got my own supply here all my windows blaze with light and the light spills through the windows to the empty plain below finds nothing but some trees and six fresh feet of snow and I find a broadcast station that's signed off for the night and the static floods the speakers in glorious black and white on my 96 inch television screen let me die, let me die surrounded by machines
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Lucifer Rising, 
        call me the running man call me Alachua County Bill call me dripping water underneath the phosphor still call me John the ripper tearing at your skin one day I’ll pay for this for now, just let me in
it's a straight walk home it's a straight walk home it's a straight walk home straight walk home through the generation fields and the ventilation dome body after body, alone
nix your dirty water forget your resource management skills I crawl starving down sloping Colorado hills call me john the ripper tearing at your skin one day I’ll pay for this for now, just let me in
it's a straight walk home straight walk home straight walk home straight walk home through the generation fields and the ventilation dome body after body, alone
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Satori in Denver, 
        speed down 24 toward the city for supplies technically out of bounds roll my window down, hear my tires sing to the asphalt and drink in the highway sounds
oh, solitude, friend of the friendless light in the dark night coming on grab what I want without saying a word and drive through the dark 'til dawn
track lights blur together, anklet buzzing on my leg thinking up lies to tell and this may be the time I get banished from the palace to seek out some smaller cell
oh, solitude, friend of the friendless light in the dark night coming on grab what I want without saying a word and ride through the dark 'til dawn
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Scorpio Rising, 
        out in the desert in the last light of day we search for the footprints of Bobby Beausoleil and there in the desert past the la county line bobby buried the canister in the middle of the night
I’m not all right I’m not all right I’m really not up for the fight
slow it down slow it down, down, down slow it down slow it down, down, down
the gears grind on as the van accelerates some things buried deep need to stay that way
I’m not all right I’m not all right I’m really not up for the fight
slow it down slow it down, down, down slow it down slow it down, down, down slow it down slow it down, down, down slow it down
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Sudden Oak Death, 
        lose a little feeling in my fingers gain an edge of panic in my face search for some sign to tell me just how long I’ve been here overturn the place
feels like each time my efforts fail the whole hillsides disapprove feel like a man whose veins have frozen overnight lying there, trying to move
yeah, when the crack sounds in the wood you will know that I’m down for good when the crack sounds in the wood you will know, old friend, that I’m down for good
I want to try to stand my ground dig my heels into the hills hope someone will come to right my balance no one will
feels like when I try to stretch my legs everyone around me's trying too so ready just to fall down, just to fall down and to stay down I don't wanna spoil the view
yeah, when the crack sounds in the wood you will know that I’m down for good when the crack sounds in the wood you will know, old friend, that I’m down for good
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Columns Pillars Steps, 
        try to lie try to lie still and just give in to uncontrollable will
don't say a word or look me in the eyes don't try to comfort me I’m inconsolable still
cruising all night I’m still cruising all night I’m still cruising all night still cruising all night
I saw you in DCU you're with somebody new I know how you are it's always a quarter to two
still cruising all night still cruising all night still cruising all night sill cruising all night
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Emerging, 
        I’m hungry, but I’m not cold I’m starving but the suit keeps me warm and the light hits me full in the face as I assume my new and dreadful form
kick an incubator open and like a flower in bloom sustenance, blessed sustenance oozing from the tomb
I know that sleeping bodies hide sweet things inside
and in the ever-present light and in my ever-growing needs if a man should crest the ridge he's gonna have to watch me feed
but no one's ever gonna come and nobody's gonna know I will sail home again concealed among the upright walking men
to know that sleeping bodies hide sweet things inside
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      The Big Unit (outtake), 
        I sunk all of my money into Swiss gold
and I watched the market slide
and I stood on the edge of the Pacific and watched
the hypodermic needles coming in with the tide
there are two guys just outside of Chicago
looking for me tonight
but Randy Johnson throws a baseball 97 miles an hour and
I'm gonna be all right
I had a fully loaded junk bond portfolio that
didn't work out like it was supposed to
there's a mountain of money in the bond market
that I can't seem to get close to
I've been headed down the road to ruin
the end is nowhere in sight
but Randy Johnson throws a baseball 97 miles an hour and
I'm gonna be all right
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Bride (outtake), 
        designed for one another
we lie tied to our slabs
while the same electricity that gave us life
crackles through the lab
and I am too dumb
to tell you how I feel
who will know, who will tell anyone
that what we had was real
we belong dead
we belong dead
so I try and try to focus
to say what I want to say
but it's such hard work
and we don't have all day
our efforts won't add up
to any great amount
get one chance to make your gesture down here
I wanna make mine count
we belong dead
we belong dead
we belong dead
we belong dead
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Any Available Surface (outtake), 
        I waved at you when you hit the disappearing point
turned in for the night the next day around ten
I caught the sweet scent of your hair on my pillowcase
felt so much in love, I felt like myself again
someday the only thing I want to rely upon
is any available surface that you've rested your head on
back in the cave I traced the arc of our awakening
shimmering down in the darkness like hidden gold
and I said my secret to myself out loud again
we may live to see miracles, if our faith can hold
someday the only thing I want to rely upon
is any available surface that you've rested your head on
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Minor Joan Crawford Vehicle (outtake), 
        cheap drapes frame the windows, no one speaks his mind
buckling asphalt up ahead, smoking wreck behind
stock footage of a ballroom nearly flooded with champagne
we're lost in the desert and it's never going to rain
every time in this house someone opens up his mouth
all his hopes and dreams begin their dizzy journey south
when the pipes began to freeze we turned on all the taps
tearing a good thing to pieces, bickering over the scraps
fried clams from the diner, diesel on the wind
gorge ourselves on caviar when the boat comes in
wait for someone neutral to reckon up the score
grease on the walls of the kitchen, dried blood on the living room floor
you there in your nightgown, head all full of dreams
all the things we'd sewn together splitting at the seams
try to cauterize the wound, just get nowhere fast
holding each other for dear life, shielding ourselves from the blast
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Hello Sarah (outtake), 
        I took the horse-tooth necklace
down from the nail where it was hanging
and I wound it three times 'round my wrist
and felt that stinging, ringing feeling come down
I remember you
I remember what we used to do
hello Sarah
hello Sarah
hello Sarah
I looked around the newly-excavated cave
and I saw that centuries had
left our little room unchanged
and I felt your spirit moving, it made perfect sense
I heard the jangling of your ornaments
hello Sarah
hello Sarah
hello Sarah
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Hail St. Sebastian (outtake), 
        it gets harder to keep trying to hold on
watch our hopes take wing
wave at them when they're gone
plunge like suicides from rooftops
break our ankles when we land
and bless the arrows
that strike us where we stand
if it doesn't crush me
it's alright
if it doesn't break me
it's alright
all the petty demons trying to break me in two
I was born stronger than any of you
it's alright
it's alright
it's alright
it gets complicated
when they come in for their counterattack
everybody hates a victim
who won't stop fighting back
sprayed blood in their faces
play for keeps
and bless the brave assassins
who strike us while we sleep
<> Moon Colony Bloodbath (2009),
      Whon (outtake), 
        the garbage man is never going to come
the cans out at the curb will bloat and stink
the rock will work its way through cracks in the foundation
the water will grow stagnant in the sink
and you, you will know
where it is that memories go
the migratory birds will not come back
the charms that summer held will all turn sour
and from the treetops when the wind stops
sweet blossoms will rain down and you will spin beneath the shower
and it will be so clear
you will never quite escape last year
the wind will blow or else it won't
sometimes you just move on and sometimes you just don't
you think the matter through, you try hard not to think
the water all goes stagnant in the kitchen sink
and you will know, and I will too
what it was I might have left to you
if it doesn't crush me
it's alright
if it doesn't break me
it's alright
all the petty demons trying to break me in two
I was born stronger than any of you
it's alright
it's alright
it's alright
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      1 Samuel 15:23, 
        I became a crystal healer and my ministry was to the sick creeping vines would send out runners and seek me in their numbers I sold self-help tapes go down to the netherworld plant grapes
and as word spread of my powers, they would seek me far and wide all sad faces at my window, I would welcome them inside I sewed clothes for them cloaks and capes go down to the netherworld plant grapes
my house will be for all people who have nowhere to go my supply of shining crystals a shield against the snow there's more like me where I come from so mark our shapes go down to the netherworld plant grapes
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Psalms 40:2, 
        pulled off the highway in Missouri
and lo, our hearts were heavy laden
made for the chapel with some spray paint
for all the things we'd held in secret
lord, lift up these lifeless bones
light cascading through the windows
all the rainbow's heavy tones
he has fixed his sign in the sky
he has raised me from the pit and set me high
left that place in ruin
drunk on the spirit and high on fumes
checked into a red roof inn
stayed up for several hours and then slept like infants
in the burning fuselage of my days
let my mouth be ever fresh with praise
he has fixed his sign in the sky
he has raised me from the pit and set me high
each morning new
each day shot through
with all the sharp, small shards of shrapnel
that seem to burst out of me and you
head down toward Kansas
we will get there when we get there, don't you worry
feel bad about the things we do along the way
but not really that bad
we inhaled the frozen air
lord, send me a mechanic if I’m not beyond repair
he has fixed his sign in the sky
he has raised from the pit and he will set me high
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Genesis 3:23, 
        house up in Clearlake
where I used to live
picked the lock on the front door
and felt it give
touch nothing, move nothing, stand still
keep my ears open for cars
see how the people here live now
hope they're better at it than I was
I used to live here
I used to live here
I used to live here
I used to live here
pictures up on the mantle
nobody I know
I stand by the tiny furnace
where the long shadows grow
living room to bedroom to kitchen
familiar and warm
hours we spent starving within these walls
sounds of a distant storm
I used to live here
I used to live here
I used to live here
I used to live here
fight through the ghosts in the hallway
duck and weave
stand by the door with my eyes closed
when it's time to leave
steal home before sunset
cover up my tracks
drive home with old dreams of play in my mind
and the wind at my back
break the lock on my own garden gate
when I get home after dark
sit looking up at the stars outside
like teeth in the mouth of a shark
I used to live here
I used to live here
I used to live here
I used to live here
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Philippians 3:20-21, 
        the path to the awful room that one will sleep in again
was lit for one man only gone where none can follow him
try to look down the way he'd gone
back of a closet whose depths go and on and on
and nice people said he was with god now
safe in his arms
but the voices of the angels that he heard on his last days with us
smoke alarms
well the path to the palace of wisdom that the mystics walk
is lined with neuroleptics and electric shocks
hope daily for healing
try not to go insane
dance in a circle with bells on
try to make it rain
and nice people say he had gone home to god now
safe in his arms, safe in his arms
but the voices of the angels singing to him on his last hours with us
smoke alarms, smoke alarms
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Hebrews 11:40, 
        masks hanging on the tomb walls
where the coven grieves
witches hiding in the brambles
ground level down where the dry leaves
blow and burn slowly
no ground is ever gonna hold me
bright candles in the manor
where the curse takes hold
bodies reassembling down where the worms crawl
make your own friends when the world's gone cold
it gets dark and then
I feel certain I am going to rise again
if not by faith then by the sword
I’m going to be restored
build fires to keep the beacon flashing
where the earth lies flat
blood calls to blood as the hours draw down
invent my own family if it comes to that
hold them close, hold them near
tell them no one's ever going to hurt them here
steal the treasure and try to leave town
fight my way back down
don't want to hurt anyone
probably gonna have to before it's all done
take to the hills right away
I’m gonna get my perfect body back someday
if not by faith then by the sword
I’m going to be restored
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Genesis 30:3, 
        for several days the visitors were here
we saw them turned down and we watched them disappear
talked about the days they'd said were sure to come
had a hard time believing
I remember seeing you, my tongue struck dumb
when you first came here from wherever it was you came from
the power in your voice
your rough touch
you keeping care of me
keeping watch
open up the doors to the tent
wonder where the good times went
I will do what you ask me to do
because of how I feel about you
I saw his little face contract as his eyes met light
try to imagine anything so bright
you only see it once and it steals into the dawn
and then it's gone forever
for several hours we lay there, last ones of our kind
harder days coming, maybe
I don't mind
sounds kind of dumb when I say it but it's true
I would do anything for you
open up the promise of the day
and drive the dark things away
I will do what you ask me to do
because of how I feel about you
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Romans 10:9, 
        wake up sixty minutes after my head hits the pillow, I can't live like this
and in the shower I am a sailor standing ready, waiting for the shift list
everything looks burned up, I’m too scared to look around
don't feel like going on, but come on, make a joyful sound
if you will believe in your heart
and confess with your lips
surely you will be saved one day
try to think of ways to fix myself but everything ends in a cul-de-sac
the beast broke from the barn while we were sleeping, face it, face it, he's not coming back
don't see what the point is in even trying to fight
look for the bigger picture when I close my eyes real tight
if you will believe in your heart
and confess with your lips
surely you will be saved one day
look for the sign of Daniel
consider the clues
wait as long as I have to for good news
wake and rise and face the day and try to stop the day from staring back at me
busy hours for joyful hearts and later maybe head out to the pharmacy
won't take the medication but it's good to have around
a kind and loving god won't let my small ship run aground
if you will believe in your heart
and confess with your lips
surely you will be saved one day
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      1 John 4:16, 
        in the holding tank I built for myself it's feeding time
and I start to feel afraid 'cause I’m the last one left in line
the endless string of summer storms that led me to today
began one afternoon with you long ago and faraway
and someone leads the beast in on its chain
but I know you're thinking of me 'cause it's just about to rain
so I won’t be afraid of anything ever again
in the cell that holds my body back the door swings wide
and I feel like someone's lost child as the guards lead me outside
and if the clouds are gathering, it's just to point the way
to an afternoon I spent with you when it rained all day
and someone leads the beast in on its chain
but I know you're thinking of me 'cause it's just about to rain
so I won’t be afraid of anything ever again
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Matthew 25:21, 
        they'd hook you up
to a fentanyl drip
to mitigate the pain a little bit
I flew in
from Pennsylvania
when I heard the hour was coming fast
and I docked in San Barbara
tried to brace myself
but you can't brace yourself
when the time comes
you just have to roll with the blast
and I’m an eighteen-wheeler headed down the interstate
and my breaks are going to give
and I won't know till it's too late
tires screaming when I lose control
try not to hurt too many people when I roll
find the harbor freeway
and head south
real tired
head kind of light
I found telegraph road
I’d only seen the name on envelopes
found the parking lot
and turned right
I felt all the details
carving out space in my head
Tropicana’s on the walk way
neon red
between the pain and the pills trying to hold at bay
stands a traveler going far away
and I am airplane tumbling wing over wing
tried to listen to my instruments
they don't say anything
people screaming when the engines quit
I hope we're all in crash position when we hit
and then came to your bedside
and as it turns out
I’m not ready
and as though
you were speaking through a thick haze
you said hello to me
we all stood there around you
happy to hear you speak
the last of something bright burning
still burning
beyond the cancer and the chemotherapy
and you were a presence full of light upon this earth
and I am a witness to your life and to its worth
it's three days later when I get the call
and there's nobody around to break my fall
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Deuteronomy 2:10, 
        the sun above me and a concrete floor below
scratch at the chain links maybe bare my teeth for show
fed twice a day I don't go hungry anymore
feel in my bones just what the future has in store
I pace in circles so the camera will see
look hard at my stripes, there'll be no more after me
laze by the shoreline while the sailors disembark
scratch out a place to sit and rest down in the dark
smell something burning downwind just a little ways
they set up camp and sing and sweat and work for days
I have no fear of anyone I’m dumb and wild and free
I am a flightless bird and there'll be no more after me
in Costa Rica in a burrow underground
climb to the surface, blink my eyes and look around
I’m all alone here as I try my tiny song
claim my place beneath the sky but I won't be here for long
I sang all night the moon shone on me through the trees
no brothers left and there'll be no more after me
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Isiah 45:23, 
        if my prayer be not humble make it so
in these last hours if the spirit waits in check help me let it go
and should my suffering double let me never love you less
let every knee be bent, and every tongue confess
and I won't get better but someday I’ll be free
'cause I am not this body that imprisons me
I read the magazines somebody brought
hold them to my failing eyes until my hands get hot
and when the nurse comes in to change my sheets and clothes
the pain begins to travel, dancing as it goes
and I won't get better but someday I’ll be free
'cause I am not this body that imprisons me
if my prayer goes unanswered that's alright
if my path fills with darkness and there is no sign of light
let me praise you for the good times, let me hold your banner high
until the hills are flattened and the rivers all run dry
and I won't get better but someday I’ll be free
'cause I am not this body that imprisons me
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Ezekiel 7 and the Permanent Efficacy of Grace, 
        the clouds explode and then the desert blooms
someone will need to mop this floor for me
when I emerge I find my car
like a cathedral in a dream of the future
drive 'til the rain stops
keep driving
pull over and blast off when I get the chance
clear as an insect's wings in sunlight
flip on the high stakes radio
try to sing the words right
drive 'til the rain stops
keep driving
I had his arms tied up behind him
we were together all day
maybe make Culiacan by sunset
try to anyway
high as the clouds now
flying
drive 'til the rain stops
keep driving
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Enoch 18:14, 
        I hadn't been anywhere but what was I going to say
two hopeful people looking at me that way
you and your brother
you both escaped the curse
you can't comprehend what it's like
we stood in the sunlight and they asked me where I’d been
held the gate open, told me to come on in
I saw the damp green grass so nice on the other side
couldn't explain myself to them but I tried
you and your brother
you both escaped the curse
so you can't comprehend what it's like
ground was dry but giving, the sky was nearly black
saw some old friends when I looked back
remember my old home, haven't forgotten yet
what happens on the day when I forget
you and your brother
you both escaped the curse
so you can't comprehend what it's like
<> The Life of the World to Come (2009),
      Proverbs 6:27, 
        try to hide down in the darkness
get accustomed to our shapes
reined in 'til next week at the earliest
go through an old box full of Betamax tapes
pull the blankets up to my neck
and the screen began to glow
I cried real tears when they beat Chuck Norris down
wait here in the shadows 'til the shadows let me go
and treat each crushing moment like a gift
and wait for the fog to lift
pretend I’m waiting for a notice
from someone somewhere far away
sit here and break things while I’m waiting
as day gives way to day gives way to day gives way to day
but though I try to let the shadows mask my movements
they're never gonna hide me like they used to
I watch the delta force save everybody from that plane on fire
I was watching wishing I had not lost track of you
I treat each crushing moment like a gift
and wait for the fog to lift
<> The World in Flux (2009),
      Daniel 12:8 (third), 
        walk in the darkness, bump into things all night
get dizzy and angry searching for some source of light
unknown alphabets in spray paint on the street
seek out their source and find it and fall down at his feet
get some aspirin powders to rub into my gums
wait for the pain to hit me, buckle when it comes
feel it drill in like a corkscrew
avert my eyes when the cause comes into view
feel the fear in my chest all day
praise you anyway
feel the fear in my chest all day
praise you anyway
see the road rise to the summit up ahead
remember an old friend with a pistol to his head
when it comes my time for the laying on of hands
let me feel the blow when it lands
look for the secrets half-buried like trinkets in a field
hope that the hidden things someday will be revealed
stumble through the darkness, can't see anything at all
whimper like a whipped dog when I fall
feel the fear in my chest all day
praise you anyway
feel the fear in my chest all day
praise you anyway
<> The World in Flux (2009),
      Matthew 11:14-19, 
        he who casts the stone can't ever do so on his own
it takes a crowd to drown a witch
so he said to us when he wriggled free and got the gun from me
standing before us, his cracking voice rising in pitch
and then the blood that's been spilling from his eyes
soaks through the bandages that are wrapped around his face
and just before he walks backwards through the wall
he pivots 45 degrees to face us all
and he says
let him who has eyes to see
take a good look at me
I’m a Mylar sheet hanging in the sun
Claude rains in all his glory
is not arrayed like these
who have come to walk before us
rising from their knees
fighting back against their captors
calling down the curse
like this man whose substance is malleable
screaming out chapter and verse
and then the blood
that's been spilling from his eyes
soaks through the bandages that are wrapped around his face
and just before he walks backwards through the wall
he pivots 45 degrees to face us all
and he says
let him who has eyes to see
take a good look at me
I’m a Mylar sheet hanging in the sun
<> unreleased,
      Tyler Lambert's grave (unreleased), 
        steal west across the country
under moonlight soft and wet
and let the dead of night hide you
from things you can't forget
spend daylight in dark tunnels
where the demons rave
one day closer every day
to Tyler Lambert's grave
shoplift when you have to
keep your visor low
and if your hunger shames you
never let them know
feel your sadness lifting
ride it like a wave
that sets you gently down beside
tyler lambert's grave
fall into a pattern
never get unstuck
anyone who can't relate
should thank god for his luck
young man in a yellow tie
hair gel in his hair
no context for the picture
just kind of standing there
try to step outside the shadow
of your great catastrophe
dream all night of freedom
never wake up free
<> unreleased,
      Thucydides II-58 (unreleased), 
        red face at noon
strip naked but can't get free
and doubling over in the street
dozens just like me
spreading like a rumor
spreading like a rumor
and the doctors come traveling house to house
and they visit the sick each day
sit with them there until they're gone
die quicker that way
save who they can save
on their way down to the grave
spreading like a rumor
spreading like a rumor
run to the altars, beg for shade
take to the high sea thousand strong
hang on to your goodness while you can
sweat it out all night long
and listen for the old melody
as it comes to me
on a high wind down from Ethiopia
on a high wind down from Ethiopia
on a high wind down from Ethiopia
on a high wind down from Ethiopia
<> unreleased,
      You Were Cool (unreleased), 
        this is a song with the same four chords
I use most of the time
when I’ve got something on my mind
and I don't want to squander the moment
trying to come up with a better way
to say what I want to say
people were mean to you
but I always thought you were cool
clicking down the concrete hallways
in your spiked heels
back in high school
it's good to be young, but let's not kid ourselves
it's better to pass on through those years and come out the other side
with our hearts still beating
having stared down demons
come back breathing
people were mean to you
but I always thought you were cool
clicking down the concrete hallways
in your spiked heels
back in high school
you deserved better than you got
someone's got to say it sometime because it's true
people should have told you you were awesome
instead of taking advantage of you
I hope you love your life now
like I love mine
I hope the painful memories only flex their power over you a little of the time
we held on to hope of better days coming
and when we did we were right
I hope the people who did you wrong
have trouble sleeping at night
people were mean to you
but I always thought you were cool
clicking down the concrete hallways
in your spiked heels
back in high school
<> unreleased,
      Italian Guns (unreleased), 
        break open the attaché
italian guns
straight down the motorway
italian guns
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Damn These Vampires, 
        brave young cowboys
of the near north side
mount those bridge rails
ride all night
scream when captured
arch your back
let this whole town hear
your knuckles crack
sapphire trans-am
high beams in vain
drive wild broncos
down the plain
push up to the corner
where the turbines hiss
someday we won't remember this
crawl 'til dawn
on my hands and knees
god damn these vampires
for what they've done to me
tie those horses
to the post outside
and let those glass doors
open wide
and in their surface
see two young, savage things
barely worth remembering
feast like pagans
never get enough
sleep like dead men
wake up like dead men
and when the sun comes
try not to hate the light
someday we'll try to walk upright
crawl 'til dawn
on my hands and knees
god damn these bite marks
deep in my arteries
crawl 'til dawn
on my hands and knees
god damn these vampires
for what they've done to me
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Birth of Serpents, 
        Let the camera pull back 'til the fullness
of the frame is clear and plain
Peer into the screen until you see it all
like a vision in a crystal ball
Let it all fill with smoke
Is this somebody's idea of a joke
Let the fixer work until the silver's
washed away and take the
picture from the tray
Look hard at what you see and then
remember you and me
and let the truth spring free
Like a jack-in-the-box
Like a hundred-thousand cuckoo clocks
From the Oregon corners
To the Iowa corn
To the rooms with the heat lamps
where the snakes get born
Crawl through the tunnel and follow,
follow the light northwest
See that young man who dwells inside
his body like an uninvited guest
See the tunnel twist
Clutch your birthright in your fist
Let the camera do its dirty work
down there in the dark
Sink low, rise high,
and bring back some blurry pictures to
remember all your darker moments by
Permanent bruises on our knees
Never forget what it felt like
to live in rooms like these
From the California coastline
To the Iowa corn
To the rooms with the heat lamps
where the snakes get born
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Estate Sale Sign, 
        crude little wooden idols
and aviator shades
the trinkets and the treasures we
brought back from the crusades
some guy in an impala shakes his
head when he rides by
but I remember when we shared
a vision, you and I
worked hard to build this altar
we made it earn its keep
the cracks across its surface
spiderweb while we're asleep
the sacrificial stains all
spreading out and soaking through
but I remember when
we kept it pretty, me and you
and high above the water
the eagle spots the fish
every martyr in this jungle
is gonna get his wish
stock shots stupid stock shots
from the Pomona mall
set up like unloved icons
gathering dust up on the wall
from films no one remembers
they call down silently
but I remember when their names
were dear to you and me
yeah
pennies on the dollar
everything's gotta go
the things that we
can't even give away
I don't wanna know
try to see if secrets burn when
you hold them up into the light
I remember when we loved
each other day and night
and high above the water
the eagle spots the fish
every martyr in this jungle
is gonna get his wish
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Age of Kings, 
        halls of the stone tower in the foothills
why should we hide from anyone?
held you in my arms
for the first time that day
felt like god's anointed when
you didn't push me away
gold light shining on so many things
in the age of kings
gold light shining on so many things
in the age of kings
lean on the concrete walls in shadow
why should we wait to throw the switch?
felt your name burn in
like a tattoo into my skin
rain on the clay tiles all night
your head nestled beneath my chin
gold light shining on so many things
in the age of kings
gold light shining on so many things
in the age of kings
in the lost age
where the jewels hide
and sword sticks in the waiting stone
still warm
small chambers shrinking til they vanish
wolves in the hallway gaining ground
reach down to the moment when
I should've said something true
shadows and their sources
now stealing away with you
gold light shining on so many things
in the age of kings
gold light shining on so many things
in the age of kings
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      The Autopsy Garland, 
        one clear shot or else he gets away
red sun high in the sky tonight
look west from London
down to old Hollywood
remember the first days in California
you don't wanna see these guys
without their masks on
you don't wanna see these guys
without their masks on
fat rich men love their 12-year-olds
deco cufflinks and cognac by the glass
look west from London
toward the emerald city
remember Minnesota
you don't wanna see these guys
without their masks on
you don't wanna see these guys
without their masks on
or their gloves...
sweet spearmint and bitter tangerine
bedside decked with roses
look west look west
look west and look away
from old familiar faces
you don't wanna see these guys
without their masks on
you don't wanna see these guys
without their masks on
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Beautiful Gas Mask, 
        come hard through the fog
blindfolded and bound
til we stand at the edge
of a hole in the ground
we hold hands and we jump
and as we fall we sing
paupers hammering the walls of the castle
going to meet the king
never sleep, remember to breathe deep
never sleep, remember to breathe
breathe deep
crash in from deep space
shot birds falling fast
who will be there to catch us in his jaws
when we arrive alive at last?
I can't hear you in the dark
wish I knew where you'd gone
know you're there
off in the shadow somewhere
try to soldier on
never sleep, remember to breathe deep
never sleep, remember to breathe
breathe deep
and breathe humbly
secure your mouthpiece when you can
toxic shapes adorn the walls
as we rise from our knees
someone's coming to reward us,
you wait and see
or crush us both like fleas
never sleep, remember to breathe deep
never sleep, remember to breathe
breathe deep
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      High Hawk Season, 
        I heard the wings beat
on the wind tonight
as the heat stole power from
the darkening light
I saw the streets fill up
with people that I knew
people who looked like you
rise if you're sleeping, stay awake
we are young supernovas and
the heat's about to break
drift through the streets,
walk between the cars
newborn sons and daughters
spat forth from distant stars
the summer will reveal itself
to those whose hearts are true
and to the faithless few
rise if you're sleeping, stay awake
we are young supernovas and
the heat's about to break
who will rise and who will sink?
who's going to stand his ground
and who's going to blink?
surge forward from van Cortland park
like frightened sheep
spirit throngs that hoist us high,
three thousand warriors deep
spray our dreams on any surface
where the paint will stick
try to time the rhythm,
listen for the click
rise if you're sleeping, stay awake
we are young supernovas and
the heat's about to break
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Prowl Great Cain, 
        gather jewels from graveyards,
when I get home bury them again
wonder if you'll ever get the chance
to ask me why I turned you in
I saved my own skin but I live to fight,
I live to fight another day
still remember how brave you were
when they came to take you away
and I feel guilty
but I can't feel ashamed
prowl through empty fields, great Cain
thought I’d seen the ghost up on the
boulevard, between the broken bits
it's hard to tell gifts of the spirit
from clever counterfeits.
sleepwalk through my days and mark
the hours until these dark times fade
like a caterpillar crawling
out along the surface of the blade
and I feel guilty
but I can't feel ashamed
prowl through empty fields, great Cain
rummage through the gutted
storehouse now
and lick the sweat from my brow
saw the trucks roll out this morning,
not sure when they're
coming back again
feel the prickings of my conscience
in my chest every now and then
sometimes a great wave
of forgetfulness
rises up and blesses me
and other times the sickness howls
and I despair of any remedy
and I feel guilty
but I can't feel ashamed
prowl through empty fields, great Cain
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Sourdoire Valley Song, 
        bang the small rocks on the big ones
til the small ones are sharp and clean
catch something, kill something
new blade cuts real keen
and then the grass grows up to cover up
the firepit and the forge
half a world away from the Olduvai gorge
chew these roots for a toothache
chew these ones for atmosphere
dream the pleasant dreams
that people dream
when they grow up down here
and then the grass grows up to cover up
the firepit and the forge
half a world away from the Olduvai gorge
take care of the old man
see if he's in pain
have somebody stay with him
comfort him when he complains
keep to ourselves mostly
few friends and fewer closer friends
lead a long life if you're lucky
hope it never ends
and then the grass grows up to cover up
the firepit and the forge
half a world away from the Olduvai gorge
half a world away from the Olduvai gorge
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Outer Scorpion Squadron, 
        if you really want to conjure up a ghost
cultivate a space for
the things that hurt you most
rake the sands until they surface
bind their tiny eyes
stake out your position,
let your armor fall
stay put til they find you,
it won't take long at all
rake the sands until they surface
up they come, gone translucent
they're coming up no matter what
fools rush in and the doors slam shut
ghosts of my childhood stay with me,
if you will
find a place where there's water,
hold you under til you're still
rake the sands until they surface
don't let anybody call them ugly
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      For Charles Bronson, 
        catch a lucky break, try to make it last
rig a blanket curtain up between
the present and the past
play my lucky numbers
for most of what they're worth
lie about my age right down
to my last day on this earth
set your sights on good fortune
concentrate
pull back the hammer
try to hold the gun straight
hit the gym each night,
stay cool and seldom speak
keep the heart of a champion
never let them see you're weak
and whatever they say
on your page three mention
focus on the parts
that make you feel good
be grateful for the attention
set your sights on good fortune
concentrate
pull back the hammer
try to hold the gun straight
try to hold the gun straight
and true
and steady
let the frame find you
when the cameraman's ready
work until I drop
drift from place to place
Ehrenfeld, Pennsylvania
scratched into my face
set your sights on good fortune
concentrate
pull back the hammer
try to hold the gun straight
try to hold the gun straight
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Never Quite Free, 
        it's so good to learn
that right outside your window
there's only friendly fields
and open roads
and you'll sleep better when you think
you've stepped back from the brink
and found some peace inside yourself;
lay down your heavy load
it gets alright
to dream at night
believe in solid skies
and slate blue earth below
but when you see him, you'll know
it's okay to find
the faith to saunter forward
there's no fear of shadows
spreading where you stand
and you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
and the waves that tossed the raft
all night have set you on dry land
it gets okay
to praise the day
believe in sheltering skies
and stable earth beneath
but hear his breath come
through his teeth
walk by faith
tell no one what you've seen
it's so good to learn
that from right here
the view goes on forever
and you'll never want for comfort,
and you'll never be alone
see the sunset turning red,
let all be quiet in your head
and look about,
all the stars are coming out
they shine like steel swords
wish me well where I go
but when you see me, you'll know
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Liza Forever Minnelli, 
        there's the part you've braced yourself
against and then there's the other part
steal up inclining northward streets
with some weird sickness in the dark
saw your name on the sidewalk
saw your brave face in my mind
if you're gonna sit next to the dealer
you get to bet blind
never get away, never get away
I am never ever gonna get away
from this place
lay down on the streets
my eyes toward the sun,
your star next to my face
the compasses I came into this world
with never really worked so good
gentle shadows spilling down the hills
up on Mulholland at Ledgewood
turn back turn back,
find someone to tell your secrets to
dream past an old hotel on ivy
and seconds later I saw you
never get away, never get away
I am never ever gonna get away
from this place
lay down on the streets
my eyes toward the sun,
your star next to my face
let the camera track me
from the footlights to the wings
let me set aside an hour or two
in memory of sweet things
regrind the lens again and again
and again and again
but still the picture flips
anyone here mentions hotel California
dies before the first line
clears his lips
never get away, never get away
I am never ever gonna get away
from this place
lay down on the streets
my eyes toward the sun,
your star next to my face
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      
Brisbane Hotel Sutra, 
        

on the crooked road that took me north
and brought me home again
from the pit of writhing serpents
out to the lion's den
where the labyrinth is lightless
and the faithless wander crazed
let the light rise from the darkness
let his name be praised
from the sunrise of my childhood
to its premature demise
from my mother's best intentions
to my stepdad's seething eyes
from the hidden self-inflicted wounds
that flowered in later days
to the folly of their learning
let his name be praised
in the holes the worms have eaten
through all once-treasured things
from the wet mouth of the vulture
to the red tips of his wings
in the dazed eyes of the penitent
emerging from the maze
in his wordless explanations
let his name be praised
<> All Eternals Deck (2011),
      Used To Haunt, 
        tunnel down to the core
climb through the trap door
soft pink sky full of rumpled clouds
radio up loud
there's a pop in the speakers
where I hear your voice come through
so brave and true
when did I lose sight of you?
come and rattle your chain
all you want
you're always gonna be welcome
here in the hallways that you used to haunt
ride the sentimental rodeo
down to where the shadows grow
long while since I felt this way
stand by the window, wait for day
there's a pop in the speaker
where I hear your voice come through
so brave and true
let me never lose sight of you
come and rattle your chain
all you want
you're always gonna be welcome
here in the hallways that you used to haunt
<> All Survivors Pack (2011),
      Catherine Antrim's Kid, 
        brush all the dust of Kansas
off of my special shoes
when the coach lets us out
at the corner store
mom was coughing like an old man,
shivering like a cold man
and I found some trouble to get into
and the admiration was mutual
split my winnings with mom 55/45
but it didn't keep her alive
I got lost out there in New Mexico
nothing to lose nowhere to go
I got lost
when my lucky stars crossed
that night I dreamt about Ft. Stanton
though I didn't know
to call it that yet
and the night wrapped me up
in its long dark embrace
I had that same expression on
as that one picture of my face
which was all anyone would
ever know about me
after my visitors got done with me
I lay down singing on the porch
blood streaming from my mouth
sounded kind of like Paul Westerberg
but to tell you the truth
I got lost out there in New Mexico
nothing to lose nowhere to go
I got lost
when my lucky stars crossed
<> All Survivors Pack (2011),
      Rotten Stinking Mouthpiece, 
        lob some spit at the window
watch it drop down the pane
it's only the guilty
who concern themselves
with clearing their names
you bring tidings of hope,
false tidings
when you come here
there's two friends who did me wrong
that you're protecting
it's so clear
and when you speak it's those two
who speak through you
who'll speak for me?
the burning and the electricity
sun goes down San Francisco
friends are hard to find
chew them up just as quick
as I can find them
try to clear my mind
remember hours at the table
gauze flight light easing through
if there's one thing
that I'm not going to do tonight
it's die for you
'cause when you speak it's those two
who speak through you
who'll speak for me
the burning and the electricity
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Amy AKA Spent Gladiator 1, 
        do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive
do every stupid thing to try to drive the dark away
let people call you crazy for the choices that you make
climb limits past the limits
jump in front of trains all day
and stay alive
just stay alive
play with matches if you think you need to play with matches
seek out the hidden places where the fire burns hot and bright
find where the heat's unbearable and stay there if you have to
don't hurt anybody on your way up to the light
and stay alive
just stay alive
people might laugh at your tattoos
when they do get new ones in completely garish hues
I hide down in my corner because I like my corner
I am happy where the vermin play
make up magic spells
we wear them like protective shells
landmines on the battlefield
find the one safe way
and stay alive
just stay alive
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Lakeside View Apartments Suite, 
        downtown north past the airport
a dream in switchgrass and concrete
three gray floors of smoky windows
facing the street
Michael pulls the blinds back up
stares blankly down at the intersection
watching for the guy who's got the angel dust
crystal clear connection
days like dominoes
all in a line
we cheer for the home team every time
lakeside view, lakeside view
lakeside view for my whole crew
most nights now sleep in the kitchen
keep my face cool on the floor
and john, john comes by to drop off his envelopes
still playing postman after all these years
pull down my army surplus jacket
dig through some drawers to find the keys
emerge transformed in a million years
from days like these
under each eye little greasepaint smudge
you can't judge us - you're not the judge
lakeside view, lakeside view
lakeside view for my whole crew
and just before I leave
I throw up in the sink
one whole life recorded
in disappearing ink
and ray left a message thumbtacked to the door
I don't even bother trying to read them anymore
lakeside view,
lakeside view,
lakeside view for my whole crew
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Cry For Judas, 
        some things you do just to see
how bad they'll make you feel
sometimes you try to freeze time
'til those thoughts are a blur of spinning wheels
but I am just a broken machine
and I do things that I don't really mean
long black night, morning frost
I’m still here, but all is lost
speed up to the precipice
and then slam on the brakes
some people crash two or three times
and then learn from their mistakes
but we are the ones who don't slow down at all
and there's nobody there to catch us when we fall
long black night, morning frost
I’m still here, but all is lost
feel the storm every night, hope it passes by
hallucinate a shady grove where Judas went to die
unfurl the black velvet altar cloth
draw a white chalk Baphomet
mistreat your altar boys long enough
and this is what you get
sad and angry, can't learn how to behave
still won't know how in the darkness of the grave
long black night, morning frost
I’m still here, but all is lost
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Harlem Roulette, 
        unknown engines underneath the city
steam pushing up in billows through the grates
Frankie Lymon's tracking Seabreeze in a studio in Harlem
it's 1968
just a pair of tunes to hammer out
everybody's off the clock by ten
the loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again
feels so free when I hit the avenue
nothing like a New York summer night
every dream's a good dream,
even awful dreams are good dreams,
if you're doing it right
remember soaring higher than a cloud
get pretty sentimental now and then
the loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again
and four hours north of Portland, a radio flips on
and some no one from the future remembers that you're gone
armies massing in the dusky distance
ghosted in the ribbon microphone
leave a little mark on something, maybe
take the secret circuit home
nothing in the shadows but the shadow hands
reaching out to sad, young, frightened men
the loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again
yeah, the loneliest people in the whole wide world are the ones you're never going to see again
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      White Cedar, 
        like a star come down to walk the earth in radiant array.
I saw the light of my spirit descend the other day.
I was standing the bus stop on north east 33rd,
when I got the word.
I will be made a new creature,
one bright day.
I don't have to be afraid.
speed that day on its way.
and you can't tell me what my spirit tells me isn't true, can you?
woke up on lockdown one more time,
my visions won't ever learn.
but I see the light that much clearer,
every time I return.
forge my armor in the old fire.
my spirit sings loud and clear,
even in here.
I’ll be reborn someday, someday,
if I wait long enough.
I don't have to be afraid.
I don't wanna be afraid.
and you can't tell me what my spirit tells
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Until I Am Whole, 
        sunset on Snohomish
burn the tree line down
hold my hopes underwater
stand there and watch them drown
fishing out their bodies
from the bathroom sink
leave them in a bucket
til they start to stink
I think I’ll stay here
til I feel whole again
I don't know when
trout swim past the fishing lines
sky gets dark and close
cars start up and make
their nightly exodus
on a picnic bench alone
watch the sky go dark
dig my nails into my hands
hope it leaves a mark
I think I’ll stay here
til I feel whole again
I don't know when
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Night Light, 
        pull my mask so tight
til it pinches my skin
nerves strung so high
I am a mandolin
Jenny calls from Montana
she's only passing through
probably never see her again in this life I guess
not sure what I’m gonna do
plug a night light in
leave the porch light on
because the small dark corners have designs on me
live like an outlaw
clutching gold coins in his claw
room full of ambitious young policemen
everybody trying to make his mark
I was a red dot blinking on a screen up overhead
and then the room went dark
dream of maybe waking up someday
and wanting you less than I do
this is a dream though
it's never gonna come true
plug a night light in
leave the porch light on
because the small dark corners are establishing a colony
live like an outlaw
clutching gold coins in his claw
can't ever set aside the sweetness
of the days before the crews put up the border
fields full of wet rain
cling tight to their memory forever
think about Montana when I close my eyes
possibly Jenny's headed east
count a couple of stray hopes out loud
may their numbers one day be increased
plug a night light in
leave the porch light on
because the small dark corners breathe like heavy animals
live like an outlaw
clutching gold coins in his claw
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      The Diaz Brothers, 
        cops and robbers, strictly bargain line
spend the wet night tracking visions through the pines
draw my arms into my hospital gown
see the sky open up and rain down
rain down
mercy for the Diaz brothers
mercy for the Diaz brothers
hear my rivals on the western wind
hard to know who might or might not be your friend
work by the plutonian light
forbidden rosary prayers all night
all night
mercy for the Diaz brothers
mercy for the Diaz brothers
beam of a flashlight
all night in the woods
hunt us like dogs
and then string us up for good
keep one step ahead of enemies
foretell worse things than such frightful nights as these
lead us to the beach by our hands
and bury us there in the sand
mercy for the Diaz brothers
mercy for the Diaz brothers
mercy for the Diaz brothers
mercy for the Diaz brothers
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Counterfeit Florida Plates, 
        steal some sunscreen
from the CVS
use too much
and make a great big mess
wait where shadows mask or hide my scent
so many so-called friends
working for the government
dig through the trash
sleep on the grates
and watch for the cars
with the counterfeit Florida plates
scribble cyphers on the library bathroom wall
map a path from here to home
can't quite catch em all
calculate magnetic north
and turn the other way
wait for the coming disaster
I could do this all day
dig through the trash
sleep on the grates
and watch for the cars
with the counterfeit Florida plates
it seems like everyone's cut me free
and left me to the tender cares of my faceless enemy
feel so hungry
probably pass out soon
look for a tree to lean up against
whistle a tune-less tune
this may be the night my point-men finally come
wait for the fog to catch up with me
so I can at least feel numb
dig through the trash
sleep on the grates
and watch for the cars
with the counterfeit Florida plates
with the counterfeit Florida plates
with the counterfeit Florida plates
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      In Memory of Satan, 
        got my paintbox out last night
stayed up late and wrecked this place
woke up on the floor again
cellphone stuck to the side of my face
dead space on the other end
perfect howl of emptiness
cast my gaze around the room
someone needs to clean up this mess
tape up the windows
call in a favor from an old friend
make some scratches on my floor
crawl down on my hands and knees
in old movies people scream
choking on their fists when they see shadows like these
but no one screams 'cause it's just me
locked up in myself
never gonna get free
something sacred, something blue
cannons in the harbor dawn
I crawled down here to dig for bones
one more season then I’m gone
black drapes over the crosses
call in a favor from an old friend
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Spent Gladiator 2, 
        like a spent gladiator
crawling in the Colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust
like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
ecstatic when he stands defiant
wild with abandon when he's gone
just stay alive
keep your eyes on the pay line
like a village on the steppe
about to get collectivized
when the men emerge with rifles from the haystack
everybody looks surprised
like the mice in the forgotten grain
way up on the top shelf
like someone who's found a small town to escape to
keeps one eye on his abandoned former self
stay in the game
just try to play through the pain
like a fighter who's been told it's finally time for him to quit
show up in shining colors
and then stand there and get hit
like the clock that ticks in Dresden
when the whole town's been destroyed
like the nagging flash of insight
you're always desperate to avoid
like the bloody-knuckled gunman
still stationed at the breach
like that board game with the sliders
and the children on the beach
stay alive
maybe spit some blood at the camera
just stay alive
stay forever alive
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Transcendental Youth, 
        cold through broken baseboards
I despise this town
snow on the sunroof
two stories down
hold hands
wish the snow away
rise in the darkness
of the gathering day
sing
sing for ourselves alone
speak into
the microphone
cedar smudge our headbands
and take to the skies
soar ever-upwards
on air gone black with flies
shroud ourselves in the cosmos
let the music play
bright star of the morning
shine on his rising way
sing
in the night
in the nameless dark
father long gone
but we bear his mark
learn some secrets
never tell
stay sick
don't get well
clutch those broken headboards
ride the highest wave
dusky diamonds shining in the far depths of the cave
try to explain ourselves
babble on and on
by the time you receive this, we'll be gone
sing
sing high
while the fire climbs
sing one for the old times
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Tribe of the Horned Heart (outtake), 
        you knew that they were out there by the signs they'd left behind
on old abandoned buildings, just some x's and some lines
half-circles in the concrete, crescents in the snow
you could find the little beacons almost everywhere you'd go
only people who were sick enough
knew how to read them right
I got sick when I was seventeen
and I'd hunt down signs all night
you'd listen for the voices in the generator's hum
hang out behind the power plant and wait for them to come
hints about their mission in the rustling of the surf
but no secrets can be kept from you if your faith is strong enough
only people who've been sick too long
can hold on to the hope
that some friendly ghost is listening to the prayers they learned to say
at the slack end of the rope
<> Transcendental Youth (2012),
      Song for Greg Valentine (outtake), 
        when they get me in a corner, break legs
when i feel alone and useless, break legs
if i can't claim the victory
i'm taking you down with me
break legs, break legs, break legs
when your enemies are closing in, break legs
when they've got you under contract, break legs
when they're filling out your card
go hard
break legs, break legs, break legs
tear my insides up
with over the counter stuff
jump the turnbuckle and grimace
try to look tough
when you get a reputation, break legs
brook no insubordination, break legs
when the beer cups are raining down on you
do what they're paying you to do
break legs, break legs
break legs, break legs, break legs
break legs, break legs, break legs
<> Steal Smoked Fish (2012),
      Steal Smoked Fish, 
        across the Burnside bridge before
anyone shot their movies there
we hid from the whipping rain
when we had run out of cocaine
dispatch down to plaid pantry
two on point, and two on sentry
ah, the joys that the lesser days bring
make you throw back your heads and sing
god bless all petty thieves
with tins of oysters up their sleeves
feast when you can
and dream when there's nothing to feast on
across a different bridge today
over the river and down Broadway
feels so good to have you here
some of you will be dead next year
I see your destinies above you
like angels who don't love you
let them kiss you and hold you tight
as long as the money's right
god bless all my old friends
and god bless me too, why pretend?
feast when you can
and dream when there's nothing to feast on
god bless the guys from my old neighborhood
gone past the point where any blessings can do them any good
attach the c-4 where you must
disappear in a cloud of dust
but spare a thought for what it covers up
pour a triple and raise your cup
we were here once, me and my friends
but we destroyed all of the evidence
and vanished into the night
at least we got that one right
god bless us, all of us
we who learn to shun the light
god bless all vampires every night
feast when you can
feast when you can
feast when you can
feast when you can
<> Steal Smoked Fish (2012),
      In the Shadow of the Western Hills, 
        spread out the old maps on the floor
plot the course of the infection
trace from its beginnings to the present
is there no one here who's making this connection
feral cats out by the trash cans
to the true believer everything's a sign
scrape the pigments from the baseboards
in the shadow of the western hills
and paint my vision on my body
in the shadow of the western hills
bleak rose-petaled sky in two dimensions
black treeline a blade that cuts across it all
can't seem to sleep or find my appetite
since I got back from the hospital
call up Rebecca, maybe try to explain
but she hangs up while I’m still talking, I walk out into the rain
wonder from the alley to the darkness
sink down completely, leave no trace
trapped beneath the surface of the ice again
lie still with the moonlight on my face
wait for the wolves to keep their promise
listen for their footfalls in the cold
I can't hear things clearly to be honest
in the shadow of the western hills
he gets most healed that waits the longest
in the shadow of the western hills
<> Steal Smoked Fish (2012),
      Good Morning To All Vultures (outtake), 
        good morning to all vultures
high up in the trees
good morning to all vultures
of high and low degrees
good morning to all vultures
near and far
in distant lands across the sea or
right here where we are
good morning to all vultures
atop the temple gate
good morning sleepy vulture
trying to fly straight
good morning to the vulture
with the great big beak
we hope today you find
the carrion you seek
it's hard sometimes to be a vulture today
and so we sing good morning
just to start you on your way
good morning to all vultures
high above this town
don't let anybody
try to bring you down
circle around the cemetery
way up high
anyone would be proud to know
so much of the sky
<> Steal Smoked Fish (2012),
      The Pig Song (outtake), 
        oh, I'm just a pig in the sun
friend to everyone
when the sun shines high
in the Eastern sky
I sing
pig life is the life for me
diligent but free
do my work then rest
sing a song when pressed
that goes
may we all live long on the earth
come to learn what true friendship is worth
friends since birth
from the depths of our girth
we sing
<> Steal Smoked Fish (2012),
      Song for Black Sabbath's Second North American Tour (outtake), 
        hang my hammer on a nail
never see it again
set sail for the cosmos
high above the world with its beaten-down men
not long for this world
have to be reminded
to stay away from windows
not to leave important things behind
all gone
all gone
with the dawn
and then I'm in an airplane heading west
over the ocean
unsteady on my feet again
a body in motion
so far from the slaughterhouse
new creatures with new hearts
landing at LaGuardia
tearing up the charts
all gone
all gone
with the dawn
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Southwestern Territory, 
        small screen, July evening view
up and down grand avenue
where the legends get made
out with the boys' brigade
part of the motorcade
flew home from Texas last night
slept on the flight
work like a dog all day
born to chase cars away
die on the road someday
I try to remember what life was like long ago
but it's gone, you know
climb the turnbuckle high
take two falls out of three
blackout for local TV
stand in that cold empty hall
wait for your name to get called
burn like hillsides on fire
in the squall of the ringside choir
high as a wire
nearly drive Danny’s nose back into his brain
all the cheap seats go insane
keep my eyes open and try to think straight
no one drives on the 60 this late
feel like the last person alive
Francisquito to Glenshaw drive
I try to remember to write in the diary
that my son gave me
climb the turnbuckle high
take two falls out of three
blackout for local TV
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      The Legend of Chavo Guerrero, 
        born down in El Paso, where the tumbleweeds blow
to the middleweight champ of all of Mexico
dad fought many bloody battles, and he raised four sons
Chavo was the oldest one
old man gory could pop, like a live grenade
raised his boys in the way of the trade
Hector and Mando, young Eddy G
Chavo meant the most to me
look high, it's my last hope
Chavo Guerrero, coming off the top rope
he came from Texas seeking fortune and fame
rose pretty quickly to the top of the game
defender of the downtrodden, king of the hill
tag team champion with al Madril
before a black-and-white TV in the middle of the night
I’m lying on the floor, I’m bathed in blue light
the telecast's in Spanish, I can understand some
and I need justice in my life, here it comes
look high, it's my last hope
Chavo Guerrero, coming off the top rope
red shoes Dugan, holding his arm high all out of breath
I hated all of Chavo's enemies, I would pray nightly for their death
descending like fire on the people who deserved it most
almost completely unknown outside of Texas and on the west coast
he was my hero back when I was a kid
you let me down but Chavo never once did
you called him names to try to get beneath my skin
now your ashes are scattered on the wind
I heard his son got famous and he went nationwide
coast to coast, with his dad by his side
I don't know if that's true, but I’ve been told
it's real sweet to grow old
look high, it's my last hope
Chavo Guerrero, coming off the top rope
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Foreign Object, 
        whipped like a dog, down on the cards
square in the spotlight sweating real hard
all soaked in blood like a newborn babe
sharp thing hidden in my hand shaped like an astrolabe
gonna stick you in the eye with a foreign object
gonna poke you in the eye with a foreign object
march through the red mist, never get my vision clear
learn to love this kind of atmosphere
strike funny poses, keep my weapon hand low
whip my head around a little, get blood on the front row
gonna jab you in the eye with a foreign object
I personally will stab you in the eye with a foreign object
foreign object, foreign object, foreign object
sink my teeth into your scalp, take a nice big bite
save nothing for the cameras, play the angles all night
one of these days my legs will both snap like twigs
if you can't beat ’em make 'em bleed like pigs
I’m gonna jab you in the eye with a foreign object
I’m gonna stab you in the eye with a foreign object
ba, ba da da, ba ba ba da, foreign object
ba, ba da da, ba ba ba da, foreign object
ba, ba da da, ba ba ba da, foreign object
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Animal Mask, 
        eighteen-man steel cage free-for-all
through the noise I hear you call for help
you can't protect yourself
frog mask and yellow cape
so desperate to escape
I came to you, hands wrapped in adhesive tape
that was when we were young and green
in the dawning hours of our team
some things you will remember
some things stay sweet forever
seen you backstage once or twice
animal gimmick pops real nice
elbows sweep and tiger dance
little extra fighter's chance
hold on, I cried, I’ll be right there
pull your mask down through your hair
they won't see you
not until you want them to
that was when we were green and young
battle cry rising from your tongue
some things you will remember
some things stay sweet forever
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Choked Out, 
        diamonds in the firmament
all reserves completely spent
someone set up the oxygen tent
everybody here's real proud to present
choked out
two hundred dollar take-all purse
half-nelson to suplex reverse
worried look on the face of the ringside nurse
at one, for once, with the universe
choked out
choked out, choked out, choked out
I stretch and strain with all my might
drift off into the velvety arms of the night
kick and claw and scratch and bite
fire up the grill, everybody eats tonight
choked out
no brakes down
an endless dark incline
most of the boys
won't ever cross this line
if they all want to die dead broke that's fine, that's fine
everybody's got their limits
nobody's found mine
crowd screaming like hounds at the heat of the chase
all the colors of the rainbow flood my face
I lift right off into space
I can see the future, it's a real dark place
choked out, choked out, choked out
choked out, choked out, choked out
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      
Heel Turn 2, 
        

get stomped like a snake
lie down in the dirt
cling to my convictions
even when I get hurt
be an upstanding well-loved man about town
in your child’s mind that's how it goes down
but I tried
the losing side
I don't want to die in here
I don't want to die in here
drift down into the new dark light
without any reservations
you found my breaking point
congratulations
spent too much of my life now trying to play fair
throw my better self overboard, shoot at him when he comes up for air
come unhinged
get revenge
I don't want to die in here
I don't want to die in here
stay good under pressure
for years and years and years
president of the fan club up there
choking on his tears
let all the trash rain down
from way up in the rafters
I’m walking out of here in one piece
don't care what comes after
drive the wedge
torch the bridge
I don’t want to die in here
I don’t want to die in here
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Fire Editorial, 
        two blinded in Detroit!
something must be done
jaws dropping at ringside
in the blood tide
when the fireball hits
down Indiana way
make 'em check their guns
real tears when it's over
smell the sulfur
when the dark vault splits
lord of the hidden pocket knife
tawdry dreams all come to life
save yourselves
save this town, save everything not nailed down
war in Ontario! dead before the bell
crushed hopes of the young breed
all the best bleed
all the proud boys break
who will stand before the flood?
who will mop up all the blood?
who alone?
skin, bone, steel, stone
swim or drown
save this town, save everything not nailed down
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Stabbed to Death Outside San Juan, 
        the winter's wet, and the summer's hot
take a match in Puerto Rico, why not
power and adrenaline flowing like amber
from the recesses of the earth, put on your waders
and twitch when the water runs high sometimes
twitch when the tide ebbs low
see the sights, maybe go downtown
sometimes you get some heat, sometimes it follows you around
when the blade hits the bone, everybody hears it sing
shower room full of people, no one hears a goddamned thing
a twitch when the current runs wild sometimes
twitch when the contact howls
all that racket out there in the arena
I’m on a stretcher, here come the cleaners
and the sky goes dark and there I am
climbing down the hertzsprung-russell diagram
I drop from the top of my tall steel cage
drop to the concrete floor
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Werewolf Gimmick, 
        I was not there for rehearsal, I don’t need it any more
when I show up just in time to pop you can clear the goddamn floor
empty out the locker room, let me find my space
let him who thinks he knows no fear look well upon my face
nameless bodies in unremembered rooms
know how a man becomes a beast when the wolfbane blooms
sail past all the grasping hands, floodlights white and hot
bring my vision into focus, find out what I’ve got
some sniveling local babyface with an angle he can’t sell
full werewolf off the buckle like an angel straight from hell
nameless bodies in unremembered rooms
run howling through the carnage when the wolfbane blooms
half the city sound asleep and safe inside their beds
get lost inside my thoughts and nearly tear his face to shreds
blood pooling on the canvas as the atmosphere gets hushed
bring your heroes to the wolf’s den, watch them all get crushed
get told to maybe dial it back backstage later on
everyone still in this building right now: dead before the dawn
nameless bodies in unremembered rooms
the pure at heart go putrid when the wolfbane blooms
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Luna, 
        all gone, all gone
watching it go up out front on the lawn
stay on my feet somehow
I’m strong now
stuck there, no air
head high, head high
tongues of fire that reach up for the sky
rise through the smoke
the dust of the grave
I will be saved
pause in mid-stride
pause in mid-stride
and ride, and ride, and ride, and ride
burn hard, burn hard
smoldering pieces landing in the yard
trace names in ash
big names, old friends
and dead ends
those last few frames
go down so fast
rise through the flames and end again in flames at last
stay free, stay free
invisible armies march by night for me
stay on my guard
burn hard
rage on
all gone
pause in mid-stride
pause in mid-stride
and ride and ride and ride and ride
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Unmasked!, 
        rain beats down, down on the outer walls
down on the skylight, where the streetlights
shine like unquenchable coals
and I’m up high, trying to say goodbye
the only way I know how
crude and graceless
peeking through the eyeholes
seeing the real you
and just after midnight
when it feels like it's getting late
I will reveal you
I will reveal you
crowd's half-gone, just a few hangers-on
come to see me finally tear through the stitching at last
and you don't care, you look almost relieved down there
like you're free, like you can breathe now
like they've sawn off your cast
just one more sleeper to see through
and by way of honoring
the things we once both held dear
I will reveal you
I will reveal you
cast of thousands
but we were the real two
and when I’m alone
before a mirror late at night
I will reveal you
I will reveal you
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      The Ballad of Bull Ramos, 
        drive a great big truck
when I’m old, when I’m old
haul the wrecks down to the wreck yard
help the boys unload
keep my hair nice and long
because I can, because I can
any of my old friends who have no place to turn to
they know to call me any time they come through
never die, never die
stand with a bullwhip in my hand
and rise, rise
in the desert sand
work days, work nights
finally get laid up
by a piece of broken glass
on the floor of the shop
and the doctor recognizes me
as the operating theater goes dim
aren't you that old wrestler with the bullwhip?
yes sir, that's me, I’m him
get around fine on one leg
lose a kidney, then go blind
sit on my porch in Houston
let the good times dance across my mind
never die, never die
stand with a bullwhip in my hand
and rise, rise
surrounded by friends
<> Beat the Champ (2015),
      Hair Match, 
        you'll be maybe lunging for the bad guy’s hip
no one anticipates the sunset flip
the referee and your opponent will hold you there
and we're gonna bring in a folding chair
we'll stipulate that there will be no cameras filming
but of course there will be several in the building
and if by chance somebody hits record
and stands real still somewhere back behind the soundboard
cheap electric razor from the thrifty down the street
two guys down around your ankles so you'll stay put in your seat
buzzing razor held aloft and just about to strike
I loved you before I even ever knew what love was like
some people leave before it's over, but most of them stay
some hide behind their programs, some turn away
out in the parking lot you look up at the stars
and all the cheap cars
<> Blood Capsules (2015),
      Blood Capsules, 
        when the last of the east coast money ran dry
and the casually-dressed bill collectors
started casually dropping on by
and the residuals, but there weren't any more residuals
at least several months behind
on the payments to certain individuals
I strolled into the lobby
mouth full
blood capsules
I strolled into the lobby
mouth full
blood capsules
I’m off the juice for seven months
I learn to like living clean
but there just isn't any money
on the independent scene
not even if you're cutting corners
staying in nights, eating alone
somebody's gotta pay the gas bill
it's not gonna go away on its own
I strolled into the lobby
mouth full
blood capsules
I strolled into the lobby
mouth full
blood capsules
I’m the biggest guy in the bank line
everybody else looks tiny
I could almost smell the fear
on the lunch-hour car salesman behind me
I know this isn't gonna work
I guess I’ll see it when I see it
I can't work any other jobs
this was my last and best idea
I strolled into the lobby
mouth full
blood capsules
I strolled into the lobby
mouth full
blood capsules
<> Goths (2017),
      Rain in Soho, 
        No one knows where the lone wolf sleeps 
No one sees the hidden treasure in the castle keep 
No one learns the secret name 
No one burns in the absent flame

No one broke DB Cooper's fall 
No one hopes to hear the bagman call 
Children piping in the main square 
But no one's dancing, no one's dancing down there

The river goes where the water flows 
But no one knows when the Batcave closed 
The river goes where the water flows 
But no one knows when the Batcave closed

No promise sweeter than a blood pact 
Nothing harder to go through with than a vanishing act 
No morning colder than the first frost 
No friends closer than the ones we've lost

Nothing sharper than a serpent's tooth 
Nothing harder than the gospel truth 
Though you repent and don sackcloth and try to make nice 
You can't cross the same river twice

The river goes where the water flows 
But no one knows when the Batcave closed 
The river goes where the water flows 
But no one knows when the Batcave closed

There's a club where you'd like to go 
You could meet someone who's lost like you 
Revel in the darkness like a pair of open graves 
Fumble through the fog for a season or two

No town more barren than our town 
No haven safer than the one they tore down 
No greater love than to lay my life down for a friend 
No sweeter pleasure than to see the credits clear through to the end

No one knows where the lone wolf's gone 
No one sees him camped out right there on the front lawn 
We played for you but you would not sing 
No one was going to get away with anything

The river goes where the water flows 
But no one knows when the Batcave closed 
The river goes where the water flows 
But no one knows when the Batcave closed


<> Goths (2017),
      Andrew Eldritch Is Moving Back to Leeds, 
        There's indifference on the wind, but a faint gust of hope 
At a club nobody goes to with a musty velvet rope 
Guys in Motörhead jackets who knew him way back when 
Haven't raised a drink in years but now meet up again 
To remember how it was when they all thought they'd move away 
And ride in Lotus Sevens through the London streets one day

Nobody ever gets away 
Even the best of us come back some day 
To the unmarked rooms where the dry dust breeds 
Andrew Eldritch is moving back to Leeds

There's a rusted fog machine in a concrete storage space 
Letter-number combinations with no meaning on its face 
They won't make these any more, it's a wooden coach-and-four 
No one will even steal it if you leave it by the door 
With no sign to mark its going, no tombstone for its grave 
There will be goodbyes by dozens, so practice being brave

No one anticipates the rush 
The breezy feeling of the faceless crush 
At the ends of things where the salvage bleeds 
Andrew Eldritch is moving back to Leeds

They don't throw him a parade 
He just comes in on a train 
One suitcase in his hand 
And an old army backpack 
From the second World War 
From a Leipzig second-hand store

Pick the keys up from the agent, everything's been taken care of 
No big changes in the roadways since you left that I'm aware of 
A few old buildings gone to dust, and some new ones in the way 
They'll look just like the old ones when the winds have had their say 
See the children bound for London, you'll all be back too 
Everybody tests the membrane, but no one pushes through

Come on boys, that'll be enough 
You'd think your old friends wouldn't play so tough 
Like a basket by the Nile hiding down among the reeds 
Andrew Eldritch is moving back to Leeds
<> Goths (2017),
      
The Grey King and the Silver Flame Attunement, 
        

In the secret caverns underneath West Covina 
Half desperate for peace with the surface dwellers 
But coming to no conclusions 
And now we emerge, sky grey and misty

The Grey King in his new Pontiac 
Some of us sworn to the effort, trying to get our shapes back 
Teeth filed down to fine points 
Framework too tight, strain at the joints

And I'm hardcore but I'm not that hardcore 
I'm hardcore but I'm not that hardcore 
I'm hardcore but I'm not that hardcore 
I'm pretty hardcore but I'm not that hardcore

Load into the Grand Am, doomed sailors 
Borne high by the waves, wild with wonder 
Leather and lace, and good friends 
Most of them good, most of them friendly

The Grey King at the rail, sparks flying 
Three of us in the car with him, scared of dying 
All eyes on the front seat 
Assuming his form, reborn in the heat

And I'm hardcore but I'm not that hardcore 
I'm hardcore but I'm not that hardcore 
I'm hardcore but I'm not that hardcore 
I'm pretty hardcore but I'm not that hardcore
<> Goths (2017),
      

We Do It Different on the West Coast, 
        

The papers write about it back in England 
It's practically a lifestyle in Berlin 
There's probably some pockets in Ohio 
Almost always something happening in Ohio

I heard some bad reports about Long Island 
I don't trust what people say aout Long Island 
I heard some good things from some friends about Chicago 
I gotta see with my own eyes about Chicago

We do it different on the west coast 
We do it different on the west coast 
We do it different on the west coast 
We do it different on the west coast

I heard they had a problem with some skinheads 
At a show in a machine shop in Pomona 
I feel like half my friends have moved to San Francisco 
I think I'm gonna bleach my hair this weekend

And Dave went to New York, I don't care 
You can't shut people up once they get back from their Christmas out there

Skim through such magazines as I can get my hands on 
Glue circuitboards to plywood on the weekend 
Trellis modulation for the children 
There's a whole new world just up around the corner

We do it different on the west coast 
We do it different on the west coast 
We do it different on the west coast 
We do it different on the west coast

We do it different on the west coast 
We do it different on the west coast 
We do it different on the west coast 
We do it different on the west coast
<> Goths (2017),
      
Unicorn Tolerance, 
        

Drawn to the dark 
Covered by the blood, when possible 
Called to the corners 
To any open crucible

Easy to reach 
Bearing every mark unmissably 
Want to leave behind 
Some token of what I carried with me

Search in the stormdrains 
Sleep in the underpasses 
Try hard to look hard 
Behind my blackout sunglasses

But I have high unicorn tolerance 
I have high unicorn tolerance 
I have high unicorn tolerance 
I have high unicorn tolerance

Swim with real sharks 
Those who never speak when spoken to 
Hard limits fade into memory 
Once broken through

Sealing the well 
Every single day, instinctively 
Feel shame, real shame 
For what my friends must think of me

Dig through the graveyard 
Rub the bones against my face 
It gets real nice around the graveyard 
Once you've acquired the taste

And when the clouds do clear away 
Get a momentary chance to see 
The thing I've been trying to beat to death 
The soft creature that I used to be 
The better animal I used to be

Drawn where I'm drawn 
Seldom wonder why, just follow you 
Never blame the rags that swaddled me 
From the place the river took me to

Long life to the spiders 
Safe travels to the crow 
Love to the ghosts 
Who taught me everything I know

But I have high unicorn tolerance 
I have high unicorn tolerance 
I have high unicorn tolerance 
I have high unicorn tolerance

<> Goths (2017)
      
Stench of the Unburied, 
        

Incoherent but functional 
Speeding like a dead comet 
Purple crushed velvet waistcoat 
Flecked with Maalox and bits of dried vomit

Say what you will for the effort 
You can't fault the technique 
Still conscious at sunrise 
For the third time this week

But when the blue lights flash 
I know we're going to crash

And outside it's 92 degrees 
And KROQ is playing Siouxsie and the Banshees

Blaupunkt in the dashboard 
Cracks in the cylinder block 
Heading up the Golden State Freeway 
Toward Eagle Rock

Ice chest full of Corona 
And Pineapple Crush 
It'll take twenty years 
For the toxins to flush

And when the sirens wail 
I know we're going to jail

And outside it's 92 degrees 
And KROQ is playing Siouxsie and the Banshees

Follow the flame to freedom 
The flickering lights of Armageddon 
Find the foot of the ladder way down in the pit 
Keep climbing forever, try to keep the torch lit

And outside it's 92 degrees 
And KROQ, the rock of the '80s 
Is playing Siouxsie and the Banshees
<> Goths (2017)
      
Wear Black, 
        

Rain every day 
Fog all night 
Wind in the evergreen cypresses

See me, Lord of Wind and Rain 
See me, Guardian of the Underpasses

Wear black when it's light outside 
Wear black when there's no light 
Wear black following the left hand path 
Wear black when I get right

Waves at night 
Hard waves at dawn 
All this coast is vanishing

Check me out, I can't blend in 
Check me out, I'm young and ravishing

Wear black on your forgotten radar 
Wear black in the present tense 
Wear black when you come around 
Wear black in your absence

Wear black high as a kite 
Wear black dead sober 
Wear black when the trouble starts 
Wear black when it's over

Sun through the trees 
Head for the sun 
Can't find the path back to the main road

See me, Lord of the Thomas Guide 
See me, Keeper of the Source Code

Wear black to the intervention 
Wear black back to the car 
Wear black wherever I go 
Wear black wherever you are
<> Goths (2017)

Paid in Cocaine, 
        

Crusty boots in the corner of the closet by the tackle box 
Once proud shining silver buckles safe behind the normalcy locks 
Baubles and bangles 
A lost age 
Still all aglow with the radiance of the stage 
That's who I was 
This is who I am 
Work to pay down the interest on the mortgage 
Used to get paid by the gram

Long Beach 
Long Beach, can you hear me? 
Can you hear me, Long Beach? 
Long Beach 
Long Beach, can you hear me? 
Can you hear me, Long Beach?

Master tape from the show we did at Fender's back in '85 
Dark paisley from Retail Slut all four of us still fresh and alive 
Flashes and phosphenes 
It's hard to believe that's me 
Strapped in, visibly sweating, as happy as I'm ever gonna be 
You're by my side 
Five years left on your card 
You're cashing out, all dressed up 
For your date with the emergency ward

Long Beach 
Long Beach, can you hear me? 
Can you hear me, Long Beach? 
Long Beach 
Long Beach, can you hear me? 
Can you hear me, Long Beach?
<> Goths (2017),
      
Rage of Travers, 
        

Close the balcony and the rainbow 
Because the promoter says so 
Aviators and a buckskin frontier hat 
How come they dress like that? 
They break the news to me so gentle 
But I start to feel sentimental 
This used to be the place to go 
Still draw pretty good in Ontario

Nobody wants to hear the twelve bar blues 
From a guy in platform shoes

Let's just have a good time when the show's done 
Ask where the good clubs are and go find one 
Roll up to the curb, spill out of the car 
Everyone's dressed up like corpses 
I brought my guitar, set it down by the stage 
The singer's locked up in a steel cage 
Shaking the bars, eyes wild with fear 
I don't belong here

Nobody wants to hear the twelve bar blues 
From a guy in platform shoes
<> Goths (2017),
      
Shelved, 
        

I wanna ride the hydraulics 
Lit up like the north star 
I wanna wallow in the spoils before the crowd 
I wanna play my guitar

Not gonna sit up and beg 
Not gonna do tricks 
Not gonna stand here on a sound stage 
Tethered to a crucifix

The ride's over 
I know 
But I'm not ready to go

I wanna flash my pastel colors by the rail 
On a windy day at Pimlico 
Don't want to write songs with this clown they set me up with 
In a Los Angeles rehearsal studio

Not gonna tour with Trent Reznor 
Third of three, bottom of the bill 
You can't pay me to make that kind of music 
Not gonna swallow that pill

The ride's over 
I know 
But I'm not ready to go

Maybe dad is right 
I'm still young 
And I can write C++ 
Just as good as anyone

I know this guy at Lucasarts 
He says they're looking for hands 
In fifteen years I'll be throwing back beers 
With my feet in the sand
<> Goths (2017),
      
For the Portuguese Goth Metal Bands, 
        

Set the spectrum for the greyscale, that's better 
Favorite bold fonts in black letters 
Star-crossed lovers and their tragic fates 
And the one Celtic Frost record 
Almost everybody hates

Candlelight playing its tricks 
On the walls of the cave 
Hauling these songs to the light 
From the mouth of the grave

Mark the map out for the treasure, don't say where 
Find the octave in the shadow and stay there 
Sleep till sunset, stay up late 
Bleed bile all night 
Into an SM58

Candlelight playing its tricks 
On the walls of the cave 
Hauling these songs to the light 
From the mouth of the grave

Finally head west but it's a dead end 
Come home dead broke but still among friends 
Keep what's precious, drop what's not 
Without a second thought

There's not so many of us 
But you don't know any of us 
Work like a gravedigger, let the blood spill 
Headline really big festivals 
Every other summer in Brazil

Candlelight playing its tricks 
On the walls of the cave 
Hauling these songs to the light 
From the mouth of the grave
<> Goths (2017),
      
Abandoned Flesh, 
        

Robert Smith is secure at his villa in France 
Any child knows how to do the spiderweb dance 
Siouxsie has enough hits to keep the bills paid 
Every New Year's in Los Angeles, you can still see Richard Blade \

But the world forgot about Gene Loves Jezebel 
Yeah, the world forgot about Gene Loves Jezebel

They charted once or twice, they were on a major label 
When the singer went solo he left money on the table 
The two main guys are related, they're at war with each other 
Now there's two Genes loving Jezebel, one for each brother

But the world came to agree 
What you see is what you get 
And what you get is what you see 
Whether you're The March Violets or The Bolshoi 
Bands who had to leave the darkness for the sun 
Red Lorry Yellow Lorry were on Cherry Red, I think 
They've been playing clubs since 1981

To be fair to Gene Loves Jezebel, Billy Corgan brought them on stage 
It was in 2011, it's on their Wikipedia page 
But for the most part, however big that chorused bass may throb 
You and me and all of us are gonna have to find a job

Because the world will never know or understand 
The suffocated splendor 
Of the once and future goth band,