RM34.MSG

[messages for room 34 -- rmInsideChapel
[	"Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards"
[	by Al Lowe



%message	1
"You are in a quickie marriage parlor.
 A flashing neon sign on the rear wall asks:
 \"Why wait? Marry the girl of your dreams, today!
 You provide the girl, we'll do the rest for only $100!!\""

%message	2
"Fawn is waiting for you at the altar. Go for it, Larry!"

%message	3
"The minister intones in his basso voice..."

%message	4
"\"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together today in the sight of,
 er, ah, um... each other,
 to enter these two people into the eternal bonds of marriage.\""

%message	5
"\"But before we really get rollin', I'd like to say a few words.\n\n
Many's the marriage that I've performed here, in this little chapel,
 wearing this cheap suit, before those shiny plastic-covered pews,
 with these electric candles,
 looking at those genuine plexiglas stained-glass windows,
 for these measly few bucks...\""

%message	6
"(He pauses for another nip from his pocket flask.)"

%message	7
"\"Where was I?\" he hiccups."

%message	8
"\"Digressing,\" you answer."

%message	9
"\"Oh, well, have you got a ring?\" he asks."

%message	10
"\"Yep,\" you reply. \"She's wearing it.\""

%message	11
"\"Good enough for me! Have you got a hundred bucks?\""

%message	12						[	Skip to message 21, if dollars > 100
"\"Of course,\" you reply, forking over your dough."

%message	13
"\"Not me,\" you reply. \"I thought this was a temple of love!\""

%message	14
"\"Sorry, buddy, you two are SOL until you can come back here with
 100 cold, hard ones!\" he says indignantly, as he pushes between you
 and heads for the door."

%message	15
"Well, Larry, it looks like you're going to have to leave your new bride
 waiting at the altar, while you generate a little positive cash flow!"

%message	16
"As you leave, she says, \"Hurry back, Larry, I don't know how long I
 can wait before I have you!\""

%message	17
"\"By the way, Larry,\" she asks. \"What does SOL stand for?\""

%message	18
"\"Why, Sierra On-Line, I presume!\" you respond."

%message	19
"(Drum fill)"

%message	20
"\"Wait here, Fawn baby! I'll be back in a flash!!\""

%message	21
"\"Ok, close enough.
 I now pronounce you man and wife, till death do you part,
 or until you get tired of each other,
 per the currently acceptable social standards!\""

%message	22
"\"You may kiss the bride,\" he says,
 scurrying out the door to refill his flask."

%message	23
"\"Not now; that can wait,\" Fawn says with a smile.
 \"I'll meet you at the Casino Hotel's honeymoon suite,
 and give you a lot more than kisses, my big, strong, handsome sweetheart!!\""

%message	24
"\"Hey!\" you shout, \"Wait for me!!\""

%message	25
"Somehow this entire ceremony was less than you expected.
 The sacred bonds of marriage certainly get tied loosely in this joint!"

%message	26
"It's customary to position yourself to the bride's right."

%message	27
"\"So... shall we try again?\""

%message	28
"You can't see through the \"stained glass\" windows.
 They're fake, like everything else about this place."

%message	29
"Seems like everything here is covered in plastic."

%message	30
"The plastic covers are so slick, you'd probably slide right off."

%message	31
"Perhaps you should find a mate, mate!"

%message	32
"You can barely tell they're made from pressed sawdust."

%message	33
"Who'd want them?"

%message	34
"He looks a lot like his brother,
 the bad comedian in the Lizard Lounge."

%message	35
"\"Make up your mind, son. Time is money!\""

%message	36
"\"Don't stand around talking, Larry,\" says Fawn. \"Let's get married!!\""

%message	37
"What an old romantic!"

%message	38
"You wonder why Michelangelo didn't use dropped fluorescents on
 his big ceiling job."

%message	39
"It's not your birthday!"