messages.h

#pragma once

const char* const messages[] =
{
	//0
	"",

	//1
	"The paint is peeling off the walls and the floor hasn't been cleaned in months.\n"
	"Cockroaches run across the floor, jumping as the loosely installed lightbulb\n"
	"crackles and flickers. An old desk sits pushed against the wall. A businessman\n"
	"sits on a broken chair next to the desk. He seems kind of drunk.",

	//2
	"The stench is unbelievable! Graffiti is all over the walls. Cockroaches don't\n"
	"seem to survive in this place - their dead bodies are strewn everywhere. The\n"
	"sink's faucets are broken - in fact the sink hangs from the wall by its rusted\n"
	"plumbing. A toilet sits in the corner. This baby looks dangerous!",

	//3
	"Behind the bar sits a bartender. A sign hanging over him says \"beer $100,\n"
	"whiskey $100\". The place isn't furnished too well. A curtain hangs on one wall.\n"
	"Next to the curtain is a button. A fan whirls slowly overhead, moving the\n"
	"stagnant air around.",

	//4
	"A couple stray dogs wander around. A cat is crouched in the entrance watching\n"
	"the dogs. Old beat-up cars drive by. The sirens of police cars and ambulances\n"
	"wail in the distance. Some paper blows by from the overfilled garbage dumpster\n"
	"next to me. I just miss stepping on a dogs 'calling card'. The dogs look at\n"
	"me -- I hope they don't think I'm a fire hydrant!",

	//5
	"There's this big dude in here with me. He's wearing a button -- I can't see\n"
	"what it says, maybe I should take a closer look at him. Stairs lead up to\n"
	"the second floor. There's also a TV in the corner. I get the feeling\n"
	"loitering is not encouraged here!",

	//6
	"There's a fire escape ladder above me which lowers automatically whenever\n"
	"weight is put on it. As a result, I find myself in the garbage dumpster which\n"
	"some fool placed under it! The trash in this thing is absolutely foul! I'm\n"
	"sitting in a sea of coffee grinds and egg shells. Various pieces of trash\n"
	"surround me... I don't like this! I think I'm gonna throw up!",

	//7
	"The entrance on the far side of the room is locked shut. Through the door's\n"
	"peephole I see a hallway with people in it, so that won't make a good exit. The\n"
	"plaster's falling off the wall - the usual decor for this building. Through the\n"
	"window leads the safety rope I'm using.",

	//8
	"My safety rope leads back to the fire escape. While it helps me some I could\n"
	"still fall and kill myself, so be careful! The window looks into a room, but I\n"
	"can't see too much from here.",

	//9
	"There's a hooker in here. The bed's a mess and the hooker's about the same! The\n"
	"room is painted bright pink and the ceiling is covered with mirrors. A fire\n"
	"exit is to the north. A sign says, \"Take precautions! The clap could be fatal!\"",

	//10
	"Off in the distance I see a brightly lit billboard. A fire escape ladder is at\n"
	"one end of the balcony. A sign says \"use only in extreme emergency!\" Looking\n"
	"over towards the west end of the balcony I see a window ledge. It looks too\n"
	"dangerous to go there; I might fall!",

	//11
	"People from all walks of life are milling about. Cadillacs, limos and Mercedes\n"
	"sportcars drive up and down the street bringing gamblers to and from the\n"
	"casinos. To the north is an establishment - an advertisement says \"use our\n"
	"services to enter into a blissful life!\" To the east is \"The Adventurers\n"
	"Hotel\". Seems like quite the classy place!",

	//12
	"A flashing neon sign says \"Why wait? Marry the girl of your dream today! You\n"
	"provide the girl - we provide a legal marriage for only $1000!\". A plaque hangs\n"
	"below the sign, proclaiming \"over 1 million served.\"",

	//13
	"Row upon row of slot machines fill the room. The bells of the slot machines\n"
	"clamor as winnings are paid out to the winners.The police cart off one of the\n"
	"losers. Vagrancy is not tolerated here -- vagrants are exterminated! It keeps\n"
	"the crime rate low. But everyone seems happy here. It's a gambler's paradise!",

	//14
	"Tables for playing blackjack are everywhere. The noise of people winning and\n"
	"losing fortunes fills the room. A table stands in front of me -- the dealer\n"
	"waits for me to join in. People gather as they want to see me gamble my fortune\n"
	"away! A voice within me says \"Go for it, fool!\"",

	//15
	"There's a stairway going up to the hotel desk. The only other exit leads back\n"
	"to the casino. Over in the corner is a flourishing plant which is sitting in a\n"
	"pot. Couches and tables are also in the room, as are other items one would\n"
	"normally find in a lobby. The lobby is empty - everybody is out gambling.",

	//16
	"The decor is fabulous! A giant heart shaped bed sits in one corner of the room.\n"
	"The floor is covered with a deep shag rug. A tiffany lamp provides just the\n"
	"right amount of light to complete the atmosphere. A breeze flows through the\n"
	"curtains on the east wall.",

	//17
	"Doors line each side. Most have \"do not disturb\" signs hung on the doorknobs.\n"
	"Waiters from room service pass by bringing food and drink to the hotel guests.\n"
	"An ashtray stands next to the wall. To the south is the entrance to the\n"
	"honeymoon suite.",

	//18
	"A high wooden fence surrounds the porch. There's a little hole in the fence. An\n"
	"arrow points at it - written next to it is a message: \"Look here!\" The sun is\n"
	"out -- it's rays beat down on the porch making it very hot.",

	//19
	"A sign says \"no vacancy\". There's an elevator next to the counter marked\n"
	"\"penthouse - private\". A button is next to the elevator. The smell of perfume\n"
	"fills the air.",

	//20
	"The directory is all ripped up and piled on the floor. There's some numbers\n"
	"scribbled on the side of the telephone. The only ones which are legible read\n"
	"555-6969 and 555-0439.",

	//21
	"There's a crazy DJ playing the newest hits. The dance floor is filled with guys\n"
	"and gals doin' the best steps in town. The crowd is really getting into it -\n"
	"everybody's having fun. There's a table to stand at over by the dance floor. A\n"
	"little cardboard sign at the table says: \"wine $100\".",

	//22
	"To the north is a fancy doorway - the entrance to the Disco Club. An old bum\n"
	"sits by the entrance - he's definitely seen better days. The guy really looks\n"
	"tormented! To the east is a pharmacy. Apartment houses and homes line the rest\n"
	"of the street.",

	//23
	"Pictures line the entrance way, showing the happy singles who attend the club.\n"
	"Singles pass by me into the club. Couples wander out - kissing and making eyes\n"
	"at each other. A door is to the west. The door has a sign on it.",

	//24
	"A pharmacist sits behing the counter. On one wall sits a magazine rack. A sign\n"
	"reads \"this is not a library - no reading\". A mirror to protect against\n"
	"shoplifting is mounted in the corner. Kids stop and buy candy. Others buy\n"
	"newspapers, cigarettes, and such.",

	//25
	"Over in the corner is a spiral staircase. Next to the elevator is a button. The\n"
	"place is nicely decorated - no expense spared! The kitchen is to the east.",

	//26
	"Oh boy does this feel good! Water swirls around me - its warmth soaks into my\n"
	"body. The feeling of relaxation is almost numbing. Over on the other side of\n"
	"the jacuzzi is a most beautiful girl! I hope she doesn't mind me being here.",

	//27
	"There's a sink to one side. High over the sink is mounted a cabinet. There's no\n"
	"dishes in sight - the place is kept quite tidy. Real nice. There's a little\n"
	"sign over the sink.",

	//28
	"The air is filled with the aroma of all sorts of plants. Green ferns are\n"
	"everywhere. Roses and other flowers emit their wonderful fragrances. If ever\n"
	"there was a garden of Eden - this certainly has to be the place! The entrance\n"
	"disappeared just as I walked in! Hmmm, how do I get out of here?",

	//29
	"There's a closet on one wall. Nobody is here, but I think there is a gurgling\n"
	"noise coming from somewhere. A very nice place!",

	//30
	"The sun shines in amongst the plants and trees - birds flutter about. There's a\n"
	"jacuzzi in the middle of the porch. Well, there's the source of the gurgling\n"
	"noise! A wooden fence surrounds the area.",

	//31
	"Oh no! I paid for this?! OTHER people pay for this!? This beast is really ugly!\n"
	"Jeez! I hope I don't get the clap from this hooker. Well... she seems to be\n"
	"annoyed that I haven't jumped on her yet. Go to it, stud!",

	//32
	"It's the Gambler's Gazette! There's an article here which tells how to activate\n"
	"the games at the Adventurer's Hotel. It says that Blackjack can be played by\n"
	"entering \"Play 21\". The slot machines can be started with \"Play Slot\".",

	//33
	"Hmmmm. An interesting magazine with a nice centerfold! The feature article is\n"
	"about how to pick up an innocent girl at a disco. It says, \"Shower her with\n"
	"presents. Dancing won't hurt either. And wine is always good to get things\n"
	"moving!\"\n\n"
	"(Kawa would like to interrupt that this kind of article is absolute garbage\n"
	"and should not be taken as serious advice to apply in real life. Play on.)",

	//34
	"Cute and innocent! Just the way I like my women. Oh, this girl is great! She\n"
	"has a beautiful California tan, pert little breasts, a trim waist, and well-\n"
	"rounded hips! I dream about getting this nice a girl. I hope you play this game\n"
	"well enough so I can have my jolly with her! You could make your puppet a very\n"
	"happy man!",

	//35
	"What a beautiful face! She's leaning back in the jacuzzi with her eyes closed\n"
	"and seems extremely relaxed. The water is bubbling up around her. She's so\n"
	"beautiful, a guy really could fall in love with a girl like this. I presume her\n"
	"name is Eve -- at least that's what the towel next to her has embrodiered on\n"
	"it.",

	//36
	"A taxi pulls up and screeches to a halt! I get in the back and sit down. A sign\n"
	"says \"We service 3 destinations. When asked, please specify - Disco, Casino, or\n"
	"Bar\". The driver turns and asks: 'Where to, Mac?'",

	//37
	"The elevator doors open and I get in. As the doors close the music starts\n"
	"playing -- it's the usual elevator stuff. Boring! We start to move and after a\n"
	"few seconds the elevator stops. The doors open and I get out.",

	//38
	"\"Me first\" she says. She takes my throbbing tool into her mouth and starts\n"
	"going to work. Feels so good! Then she smiles and bites it off. She says \"No\n"
	"oral sex in this game! Suffeeerrr!\"",

	//39
	"\"Well, sonny... here's my story. I came here many years ago - and my goals\n"
	"were the same as yours. But this adventure was too much for me! Here's a gift.\n"
	"Carry it with you at all times! There's some kinky girls in this town! And you\n"
	"never know when you may need to use this to defend yourself! After all you may\n"
	"get in a program bug...\"",

	//40
	"She's wearing the tightest jeans! Wow, what a body! 36-24-35! This girl's\n"
	"derriere is sensational! And the shirt? See-through, and what I see I like! As\n"
	"my eyes reluctantly roam from her body, I see bright blue eyes - and a smile\n"
	"that dazzles me. I think she likes me!",

	//41
	"A masked man runs across the screen. Jumping up he lands on his horse and yells\n"
	"\"Hi-ho Plutonium!\" He rides off into a green sky. Ah, nothing like a good ol'\n"
	"western to pass the time.",

	//42
	"It's \"The Price is Fright!\" \"And now for out favorite host, Haunty Male!\"\n"
	"Haunty jumps up the stage and asks \"and who's our first lucky contestant?\" The\n"
	"announcer points out a lady. The crowd screams in ecstacy as she's dragged to\n"
	"the stage...",

	//43
	"Captain Jerk looks at this door from which behind the noise is coming. Throwing\n"
	"open the door - his face turns a deep red! He says: \"Scotty! What are you\n"
	"doing?\" Scotty replies, \"But Captain, me girl and I - we're engaged!\" Jerk\n"
	"commands, \"Well, then disengage!\" as the starship thrusted forward, penetrating\n"
	"deeper into space...",

	//44
	"The News! Today the prime rate was raised once again, to 257%! This does not\n"
	"come near the record set in 1996 - when it broke the 1000% mark. The birth rate\n"
	"has taken a dramatic fall. This is due to the increased usage of computers as\n"
	"sexual partners. However, rapes of innocent people are on the increase! And who\n"
	"is the rapist?? Computerized banking machines lead the list, followed by home\n"
	"computers...",

	//45
	"\"I love you, you love me, I will kill your family.\" Oh god no, anything but\n"
	"that!",

	//46
	"Cable TV! They're showing the kinkiest X-rated movies! This one's titled \"Deep\n"
	"Nostril\". The pimp seems to like this one! He's engrossed in the action he sees!\n"
	"Seems down-right distracted...",

	//47
	"It's Happy Daze! Richie turns to Gonzo and says \"But you always had it made\n"
	"with the girls. What's your secret?\" The Gonz replies \"Ayyy, I didn't get my\n"
	"name for nuthin!\" Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a funny looking\n"
	"cigarette...\n",

	//48
	"Mrs Smith and Mrs Jones are comparing detergents. \"See this blouse? We're\n"
	"making it this dirty to see who's works better.\" A dog is thrown onto the\n"
	"blouse. In his excitement he defecates all over it. \"Do you think yours will\n"
	"work, Mrs Smith?\" The camera pans to Mrs Smith. She throws up. \"Mrs Jones?\"\n"
	"A shot shows her taking the dog and...",

	//49
	"It's the Superb Owl! \"The center snaps the ball! The quarterback fades back!\n"
	"It's a bomb! The ball sails through the air... the receiver runs to get it...\n"
	"It explodes in his hands! What a bomb! Tell me, Howard, have you ever seen\n"
	"this before?\"",

	//50
	"She takes the apple and raises it to her mouth. With an outrageously innocent\n"
	"look she takes a small bite out of it. A smile comes across her face! She's\n"
	"really starting to look quite sexy! She winks and lays back in the jacuzzi.",

	//51
	"It's a good thing I was wearing that rubber! She was okay, I guess, but really?\n"
	"Can't you do better that this? The score is now 1 out of a possible 3... so\n"
	"congratulations! Well, go to it ya stud! Find me another girl!",

	//52
	"Oh boy, it's got three spots to try! I thrust into the doll. Kinky, eh? I start\n"
	"to increase my tempo... faster and faster I go! Suddenly there's a flatulent\n"
	"noise and the doll becomes a popped balloon soaring around the room! It flies\n"
	"out of the room and disappears!",

	//53
	"She hops out of the tub, steam rising from her skin. Her body is the best\n"
	"looking I've ever seen! Then she comes up to me and gives the best time of my\n"
	"life! Well, I guess that's it! As your puppet in this game I thank you for the\n"
	"pleasure you have brought me! So long, I've got to get back to my new girl\n"
	"here! Keep it up!",

	//54
	"She says \"Lay down honey - let me give you a special surprise!\" I lay down and\n"
	"she says \"Okay - now close your eyes\". I close my eyes and she starts to go to\n"
	"work on me. I'm really enjoying myself when suddenly she ties me to the bed!\n"
	"Then she says \"So long, turkey!\" and runs out of the room! Well, the score is\n"
	"now 2 out of a possible 3... but I'm also tied to the bed and can't move!",

	//55
	"Hmmmm. This is a Peeping Tom's paradise! Across the road is another hotel. Aha!\n"
	"The curtains are open at one window! The bathroom door opens and a girl walks\n"
	"out. Holy cow, her boobs are huge! And look at the sway as she strides across\n"
	"the room! Now she's taking a large sausage-shaped object and looks at it\n"
	"longinly! ... Damn, she shuts the curtain!",

	//56
	"This stuff is good! I'm breathing heavily - I've never been this horny! I've\n"
	"just got to do something! Aha, there goes a female german shepard! That gives\n"
	"me an idea!\n"
	"\n"
	"Oooh, kinky doggie! Chewed me to death!",

	//57
	"The blonde looks at the pills and says \"Thanks! I love this stuff!\" She takes a\n"
	"pill. Shortly, her nipples start to stand up! Wow! She's breathing heavily. I\n"
	"hope she takes me! But instead she says \"So long! I'm going to see my\n"
	"boyfriend!\" and disappears down the stairs... Damn.",

	//58
	"The driver looks at me and says \"Hey! What's that you got? Wine?\" He grabs the\n"
	"bottle and guzzles the wine down! Oh no! He's swerving towards a huge truck! I\n"
	"grab the wheel! We struggle... and the truck just barely misses us!",

	//59
	"+-------------------------------------------------------------------+\n"
	"|                                            Linguists do it        |\n"
	"|    Here I sit all broken hearted             cunningly            |\n"
	"|      Tried to shit but only farted                                |\n"
	"|                                                       DONT  DEAD  |\n"
	"|                                    The password is    OPEN INSIDE |\n"
	"|  Away with                           bellybutton                  |\n"
	"|   thee foul      for a   time                        G            |\n"
	"|    stench         weird                               O  B        |\n"
	"|                      call 555-0439            ZIP         R       |\n"
	"|   ?          ?                                 GO          O      |\n"
	"|   xnjn vf n yvggyr            CALL APOGEE      CLICK        N     |\n"
	"|     obggbz ovgpu  ?           SAY AARDWOLF                   C    |\n"
	"|   ?                                                           O   |\n"
	"|       mr sandman                                               S  |\n"
	"|     man me a sand        real hackers          the rain           |\n"
	"|                      do it with butterflies      in spain         |\n"
	"|                                               falls mainly        |\n"
	"|       __                                       on the spaniards   |\n"
	"|      '  '   /___ do it                                            |\n"
	"|     |    |  \\              whos been drawing dicks?               |\n"
	"|      '__'                                                         |\n"
	"+-------------------------------------------------------------------+",

	"", //60 graffiti filler
	"", //61 graffiti filler
	"", //62 graffiti filler

	//63
	"+---------------------------------------------------+\n"
	"|          For those who desire the best:           |\n"
	"|    Announcing, the most exclusive, the exciting,  |\n"
	"|             the hottest spot in town,             |\n"
	"|            ***************************            |\n"
	"|            * SWINGING SINGLE'S DISCO *            |\n"
	"|            ***************************            |\n"
	"+---------------------------------------------------+",

	//64
	"Holy cow! Psychedelic! Pretty colors appear and I'm elsewhere!",

	//65
	"\"Welcome to Purgatory,\" a Monty Hall-looking demon announces to me. \"Here at\n"
	"this crossroad you have three options. Before you are three doors. Each will\n"
	"bring you to a different place.\"\n"
	" A - To Hell (where the game ends)\n"
	" B - Back to life, unharmed\n"
	" C - You stay here and must choose again\n"
	"\"The doors are randomly different each time!\"",

	//66
	"Okay, why am I doing this? The preacher takes $1000 and winks! The girl grabs\n"
	"$2000 and says \"Meet me at the Honeymoon Suite! I've got connections to get a\n"
	"room there!\"",

	//67
	"Hi there! This is Kawa. I can't believe you bothered to check if I'd replaced\n"
	"Chuck's reply. Find me on Twitter, @kawa_oneechan, and say 'love boat'!",

	//68
	"A voice answers and says \"Wine for the nervous newlyweds! Coming right up!\"",

	//69
	"Okay, here goes. ...Oh no, it's overflowing! It's filling the room with gross\n"
	"sewage! EEEUUUGH!",

	//70
	"The object of SOFTPORN ADVENTURE is to find and seduce three different girls.\n"
	"They have very different personalities, so tricks that work on one girl usually\n"
	"won't work on another girl. The game has three different areas -- Disco, Casino\n"
	"and Bar. You start off in the Bar with $1000. You'll need more money than that,\n"
	"so you'll have to make more money during the game.\n"
	"\n"
	"You give your puppet commands like \"Go north\", \"Buy beer\" etc. A phrase like\n"
	"\"Look at the table\" is equivalent to \"Look table\". Some commands can be abbre-\n"
	"viated, like \"N\" for \"Go north\", \"L\" for \"Look\", \"I\" for \"Inventory\" etc. To\n"
	"see how well you're doing, look up. To save and restore a game position,\n"
	"just type \"Save\" and \"Restore\".\n"
	"\n"
	"If you're stuck, try looking at everything in sight, object by object. This\n"
	"will usually help you find missing objects and/or clues etc. The \"Help\"\n"
	"command will repeat this message.\n"
	"\n"
	"========= ******** GOOD LUCK ! ******** ========",
};