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Foreword<br />
About the Editors<br />
About the Artist<br />
Acknowledgments<br />
Introduction<br />
How to Use This Book<br />
Bling Bling Strategies For The New Economy<br />
Why George F. Will?<br />
Lube Warning<br />
Jon’s Wife<br />
Spare Us The Cutter<br />
Interview with Wil Wheaton of Wil Wheaton Dot Net<br />
1999<br />
Last Night At The Grocery Store<br />
Darth Vader Made Me Cry<br />
Alabama Hamilton<br />
Interview with Heather Armstrong of Dooce<br />
“DID HE DO IT?”<br />
Romance<br />
Celebrity<br />
Interview with Choire Sicha of Choire Sicha Dot Com<br />
Known In The Gates<br />
Customers I Have Driven Out Of The Store<br />
Interview with Ali Davis of True Porn Clerk Stories<br />
Never Threaten to Eat Your Co-Workers<br />
Interview with Uncle Bob<br />
Brad Pitt: Your Remakes Are Ready<br />
Kookoo for Coconuts<br />
You’ve Got Ringworm<br />
Interview with Mark Frauenfelder and Carla Sinclair of The Island Chronicles<br />
Lost In Translation<br />
A Smart Suit And A Kipper Tie, A Big Arrow Pointing To My Fly<br />
Dear Cranky Old Bitch<br />
After Spending Two Weeks At My Parents House<br />
Interview with Mrs. Kennedy of Fussy<br />
The Girl Who Cried Webmaster<br />
When Is A Reporter Not A Reporter?<br />
The Problem With Airplanes<br />
The Art Of Getting Away With It<br />
High Five<br />
Twenty-One Provocations<br />
Reflections—Artificial Sweetener<br />
Volvulus<br />
Democratic National Blog?<br />
Long Before I Blogged<br />
Logic<br />
When The Waiter Came<br />
I Saw U<br />
Red Hot And Blue <br />
Interview with Janet Feeney of Snarkcake<br />
Disasters Of The Natural Variety<br />
September 11, 2003<br />
Business Cards<br />
Jury Duty<br />
Poll: 7/5 of Americans Don’t Bother To Do The Math <br />
Chatty <br />
Look On The Bright Side <br />
Junior Crime Dog <br />
How To Annoy Me<br />
Broken Hearts<br />
Clutching For Answers In Baghdad <br />
Interview with Christopher Allbritton of Back To Iraq<br />
Con Man <br />
I Don’t Know About Your Blog<br />
Fuctung<br />
The Gameshow<br />
Interview with Neil Forrester of NeilForrester <br />
Hester Prynne <br />
My Cred Is Intact <br />
Interview with Matthew Baldwin of Defective Yeti<br />
Celebrity Sightings From Antiquity<br />
My Beautiful Life? Not Exactly<br />
Drew’s Blog <br />
It’s All In The Packaging <br />
Interview with Matt Hinrichs of Scrubbles<br />
Close<br />
A Chair! A Chair! My Kingdom For A Chair! <br />
Cat Magnet<br />
Worthless Public Defenders<br />
Interview with Greg Apt of Public Defender Dude<br />
What Up, Boss<br />
Neighbor<br />
Hey! Parking Lot Blowjob Man!<br />
Letter From New York City’s President<br />
Things In The Past Week That Have Brought Me To Uncontrollable, Blubbering Tears <br />
Notes Toward A Constitution For Communal Beach Houses<br />
Appendix A<br />
Editor’s FAQ<br />
Appendix B<br />
Index of Contributors